Auntie Anxiety

Some of Sean Bean's (swoon) facial expressions remind me of Kiefer Sutherland/Jack Bauer's tics. And the acting isn't bad but I am totally obsessed Ali Larter's blunt haircut. Wish my hair did that. The episode: I am enjoying the ride and sometimes it's nice to not have to think so much (The Honorable Woman, which was excellent, gave me headaches). Odum's wife and Gates was an interesting twist, Dobson getting killed was predictable and I do like Chloe O'Brien 2.0.

How dare you not be able to read my mind! It's a good thing that Chris didn't get physical with Rosie. Even if consensual, on tape and her being the initiator, she'd probably accuse him of rape when she got bored (or when her next mood swing occurred in five minutes). The girl is terribly unhinged.

Whatever you might say about Chris, at least he was smart enough to recognize crazy when he saw it and decided to end the relationship, regardless of the fact that she was hot (gah, what was her name again?). Talk about going from zero to psychotic in 5 seconds. Not to mention that annoying habit of saying "like" every other word. Chris had his own truck load of issues, being a nebishy momma's boy among them, but he'll find a sweet, intelligent, geeky, plain-looking girl who will adore him and he'll adore her.

At first I thought she might have urinary tract infection; I doubt that even a panic attack could make her shiver all night long because those kinds of shakes are usually the result of a fever and boy, those shakes just suck. And they sap you of any strength you have. You cannot control your body. But, tapping out so early was ridiculous. She should never have been there in the first place. I'm pissed that she took away a Naked and Afraid spot from someone more deserving. And I also thought I recognized Michael. He seemed a little too full of himself for my tastes. Where do they find these contestants? These two were almost as bad as the young woman in the episode with two teams who didn't know shit about survival but talked a good game. A miraculous pot sighting! How amazingly fortuitous. And completely producer driven.

It would be hilarious if, at 8:43PM ET tomorrow, the screen goes black because the show sucks so much.

Did anyone see anything even resembling an air bag? Maybe I missed it in all the confusion after the crash. Hank knew that the only thing keeping him alive was knowing where the ledger was hidden. If he spilled the beans, he would have been of no use. At least that's how I explained it to myself.

I think it became an issue when reality show contestants/cast members realized that crazy behavior means more air time plus the possibility of becoming a break out star and getting your own show. And all these "pioneers" (really?) believe themselves to be the next Honey Boo Boo. When Red and Dave opened the safe, it seemed to me that they had never held $500 in their hands before this, because if they had, they would have known that $500 doesn't really buy that much these days.

I considered asking Fox if they wanted to film me using the phone to order my pizza for tonight's dinner.

Must say I too was distracted by her freckles/soon-to-be basal cell carcinomas all over her body. If that woman thinks Billy is the one for her, she seriously needs to find a therapist who can help her with her self-esteem issues. I know from first-hand experience that this is what a cheating husband does to your psyche, but considering having a relationship with a pig like Billy isn't the solution.

From one of the trade papers: Not good: Fox’s Utopia ratings dropped through the floor last night. It was only the second episode of Fox’s big reality gamble, yet ratings fell 55 percent to a mere 2.5 million viewers and a 0.9 rating among adults 18-49. What's the over-under on when this show will be cancelled? When this show goes off the air next week, I'll have to focus my snark on Love Prison (A&E has outdone itself), which makes The Bachelor look highbrow.

A year? Fox expects people to watch this for a year? Just two episodes and I'm barely hanging on. Dave is a homicidal maniac and Red is his little prison wife. Bella needs her psychotropic medication dosages dialed way up. Bris (unfortunate is right, Kikismom) is the most boring couple that ever coupled. Hope she brought her bug spray to the barn. <yawn>

Is anyone old enough to remember those toy baby bottles that would refill themselves when they were put upright? As we all know, alcohol is always the first order of business on reality shows. I admit to being a dinosaur who doesn't feel the need to tweet out my every thought or spend countless hours on Facebook with people I don't give a shit about, but I am always surprised when contestants, I mean, pioneers, don't care what their behaviors look like to the viewing public. Their future employers/spouses/children/neighbors might not think that alcohol-fueled date rape is adorable. Yeah, I don't get it.

I didn't think anything could be worse than that Paradise Island show (the one with couples? Can't remember what the point was but there was a lot of drunk drama?). Yes, I watched this. A&E has sunken to a new low. And it was fabulous! Billy puts the "B" in douche bag and Jeanne really needs to smarten up because this guy will never be marriage/monogamy material. Plus he is an incredible douche bag, if I didn't say it enough.

Maybe the chickens will go on strike and refuse to be put into the chicken tractor. Then the group will get together and vote to either keep the chickens or kill them off, at which point Bella tries to teach the chickens to fly away, to no avail.

Guess that seals the deal for me. Count me in until I can't stand the stoopidity anymore. And I simply don't have the patience to watch the live feeds, unless something interesting is about to happen.

We've all watched enough "reality" tv shows to know that this kind of thing is completely producer driven. Hard to believe that one hen simply keeled over and died while the rest of them looked happy and healthy. The dead chicken was even more noteworthy to me because a long-time resident of my former suburban town just recently got arrested for poisoning his neighbor's chickens because they kept him up all night. He was being driven mad! Mad, I say! Pakalolo, you've made an excellent point. I used to thrive on the hilarious snark about the show "Starting Over" from years ago. It became must see tv for that very reason. The ridicule was its only redeeming quality. Perhaps I'll rethink my decision to cut and run on "Utopia."

I agree that they had a casting call for the most irritating people on the planet. I have more important things to watch than this show. If I want to listen to morons trying to make a plan, I can always tune into Big Brother. That NY lawyer will be hitting his head against the wall in no time. The preacher? I'm of the Jewish persuasion and I just can't listen to that stuff. Not everyone in the world (or the US) is Christian, dude. Yeah, it's probably one and done for me.

Your husband is definitely a keeper, Portia. Maybe a little bit of the youngest Brady Bunch brother mixed in for good measure.

The producers really should have spent some money and hired a toupee wrangler because Eph's wig looked like it had a mind of its own.

I thought the real reason he was out of the running was because Ephra Stein owed the Palestinians as part of the deal to get Nessa back but Nessa was made to believe that Schlomo had a shady deal what with the money transfer. Or maybe I'm just thoroughly confused like so many other viewers.

My favorite part of this episode was when the Stephen Rea character met the Israeli guy at the park. While they were sitting there discussing who killed Meshal, in the background a dog lifted his leg and peed on a bush. Obviously totally random, but it seemed symbolic to me.

For a minute there, I really thought the writers allowed Crystal to bite the dust. I am sorely disappointed.

Dammit, LuLu123, now I'll be humming the Shire theme until I go to bed.

I was expecting the Getalong Gang to somehow get a gasoline pump ready to light the entire place on fire while making a run for the Wonder Bread truck, throwing a lit match on the puddle of gas they drove away.

Sean Bean had me at Boromir and completely owned me at Ned Stark. His acting and appearance [/shallow comment] can raise even a meh show up to something I look forward to watching every week. When I heard that Ali Larter is pregnant, I hoped that they wrote her character out of the show, getting killed or going on a break or some such thing. Yes, kids, hope springs eternal.