MollyB

Here are some posers: If the ailing doppelgänger that is taking Jordan's place dies, will the prison notify Claire as next of kin? This would open a whole new door for the Three Witches. Claire is very convincing as a wide-eyed naif and wouldn't need to spill that she just saw the corpse-in-question. She could show just enough remorse to be believable and even have the body shipped back for a proper burial. Slip Jordie's remains into that coffin and, voilà, the whole Jordie situation would be over and done with. Or they could just dig a hole deep enough and use plenty of lime. Does the back of Victor's motorcycle jacket have his colors? Like "Flaming A$$holes"? Is he going to give Nick and Adam jackets, too? What if Sharon is not drugged, but just terribly nearsighted? (although I think she should have been suspicious of all the salty snacks Jordan left her. Makes ya thirsty, hon.)

that leaves in 10 minutes. Friday Rant: If I am correct in the plan I see growing with Claire, then she, ma and granny should just take Jordie out to the park and line up to beat her brains in with a rock. It worked so well with Diane.😏 And speaking of murder. Nikki and Vic both sound so appalled that Claire could even think of offing Jordan. Uh, both of them have participated in murder, Nikki in more than one. If Viktor finds out about Jordan will he incarcerate her again? I mean, like, did he build a vegetarian jail cell in the New Old Raunch II? God forbid that he participates in murder. Can't tell you how offended I am with the 'replacement' prisoner at the prison. Yeah, prisons are overcrowded, but I know for a fact that they keep pretty good track of their wards. (read a lot of reports from San Quentin back in the day) Add to this that the reason (per Ian) that the doppelgänger agreed to this was because she is dying of some disease. Pretty sure the medical records would have outed her by now. And unless Ian smuggled this sick person in under his robes, the head count would be way off. How Daniel (and Summer) can be so devoted to their mommy is beyond me. She lets them talk/advise her and then she just goes on with her merry plans as if she never heard them. And then! She shouts to the world how much she loves her kids and that Family is all she cares about. Oh, and that she has changed from the self-serving person she was always has been. #don'tkidmeI'mnotthatold Doesn't anyone actually do anything in this town? (That includes real work at all their Legacy Corporations and taking care of their kids.) Seems our principle characters just sit around the bars, eateries and coffee shop to discuss ad nauseum what they want/are going to do. I'm all for brainstorming a plan, but at some point you have to get off your ass and do it. Some of us watch this farce everyday and are tired of the repetitive exposition. Last. Keep on hammering that link, Sharon. It should only be a few years before it breaks.

I noticed she had her nails done, too. Where, oh where do she and Ian get the money to afford the crappy disguises, seedy motel room, the tea with agave and triple espressos, bottles of booze and steak dinners? Did they both hide their assets in offshore accounts before their incarcerations? Can't believe that Ian's prison chaplain pay is that much. I'm not buying into this because Jordan is so pissed with Ian about him not doing her "cross" after she did his "criss". She wouldn't be worried about her plan.

My money is on Jordan having spiked the water she left for Sharon. Of course, if it's PCP, Sharon might just have the strength to break her chains, especially if she gets her hands on that pipe. Yes. How is he going to practice these coping skills if everytime something OCDs him, the parents come in to the rescue? Let him spend time away from hovering mommy and tackle coping with daddums. By himself. This is just speculation, not a spoiler, but wouldn't it be fun if Jordan takes Claire to Sharon to show off her murderous skilz? Then Claire can use (Chekov's) pipe to put Jordan (and us) out of her/our misery.

When did they become BFFs?

Amen to the amen. And guess he doesn't know that Summer is not Harrison's real mommy. Harrison didn't get his smarts from Summer, Chancey. That whole sex scene was Emmy worthy. It's the most heat I've seen in any love scene on this show. The participants actually moved! And I think they had more fun than Schmoopy and Claire. I think Connor has a propensity to bury the lead when he tells his family about his OCD's. Or they are not giving him enough time to finish his story. He was incarcerated treated in-house for his problem and he has the 'tools' to cope, as he himself has said repeatedly. If they want to child-proof the house every time he gets a hair up his tush they better have a contractor on retainer and on call 24/7.

It's sick the way law enforcement and attorneys share every bit of information with the general public the minute they get it. No wonder nothing goes to court on this show. Also don't want Chancesome and Blubbergirl to get back together.

Friday Rant: Why do the writers have to take the scenic route with these stories? There's Nateynatenate setting up fake job offers and meetings that may or may not result in Damien joining the company when it would be easier to tell him the truth and then offer him a job. Do Nate and Devon really think their new found family member will trust them with anything after this cloak and dagger bullsh*t? (although, I'm with Joi on this and hope he and Amy are running a con.) Can we tone it down on the Family Is Everything crap? It's no way to run a corporation. Just because you are related does not mean you are the best person for the job. (See: Billy.) And if I never hear the word Legacy again, I die happy. And then there's Chekov's water bottle. It's just sitting there, waiting to be sipped by Tessa again, and then she will have another "asthma" attack. Good thing Ian is lurking outside with his inhaler. Is it just me or was the dialogue really heavy on exposition this week? Not that it wasn't useful, since most of us don't know/understand/care why Ian and Jordan are in cahoots. Still confused as to Ian. Is he after Newmans, Newman adjacent (Sharon) or Mariah? And what was Jordan doing for the last 20 years that she has honed her murder skills? Are there on-line classes for that? Phillus' rubber ducky lips get bigger every episode and they are so glossed that I'm expecting them to slide off her face.

So how old is Christian really that he needs a nap? Is he two years old and worked off a bag of candy? And why would he be so fatigued with everything that's going on? Does he even know or care about Sharon? His dad hasn't been home in forever, so unless Nick has been keeping him in the car while he stands around Sharon's and the Raunch, I don't think the kid has any clue (or interest) in what's going on with Sharon. Maybe he got fatigued by association.

I'm still trying to wrap my head around what kind of publishing NE does. Cole said working in literature was his dream job. (paraphrasing) I think the major publishing houses have that market cornered. What 'literature' is he talking about? Also got a good laugh when Victoria said Nosferatu didn't hire on nepotism-he only hires the people who are good for the job. Reeeaaallly....

Slugging down the booze will do that to you. Well, the time for that boat to sail is long gone, now that Phillus has declared her intentions to not publicly sling blame/hate at Sharon. If Sharon dies and all eyes are on Red, she will be exonerated by her children proclaiming her innocence. They know she wouldn't hurt Sharon. That's how the legal system works in GC. (See: Sharon and her cheer team.) I noticed that, too. Then I tried to remember, didn't Phillus kill Jeremy with scissors in that room? Guess housekeeping didn't replace the Courtesy Scissors.

Oh, yay! It's Friday. Today's rant topic will be Arrogance of the Law (not to be confused with Ignorance of the Law). Had the cop rolled up on Nick when he was manhandling Ian, Nick would have been charged with assault and/or battery. Sending the 'girls' into Society was not a good move, either. They are witnesses and what happened to Tessa is why the police were called. (Somebody did get Tessa a coat, so she could have stayed out there.) Nick shouting that Ian is a threat, a menace to society and very dangerous means nothing if you are using history as a reason for arrest. And Ian damn well knew it. (Slippery little eel, he is.) Just the facts, Nick. -see above: keep the victim at the scene.- Well, maybe they could have something on Ian for sharing his inhaler. It's a no-no to administer meds without a license. (Being clergy doesn't count.) Whenever Viktor (and now Nick and maybe Phyllus*) demands the arrest/incarceration of anyone all I hear is Sylvester Stallone saying "I am da Law!" [and we know what happens when Viktor takes the law into his own hands-brussel sprouts anyone? Step into my convenient in-house prison cell.] And then there's Michael. (Who apparently missed the classes in Rules of Evidence and Court Procedure.) You can't go blab everything about a case to everyone you meet and certainly not in a public place where anyone can overhear. He should be disbarred. The whole "Ian is reformed and now doing his level best to help other prisoners see the right light" is a crock. He probably got his Chaplain certification online and it means about as much as the Service Dog crap you can get online. No prison is going to allow a convicted felon free range with other felons. This rant is being brought to you by my 7 years experience as a Legal Process Specialist in a District Attorney's office and 3 in Superior Court (California). Pro Tip for the writers: HULU is streaming every episode of Law and Order. It's not quite the same as actually going to law school, but it would suffice for what y'all are doing. Watch it. All of it. *Phylluss may feel she is qualified to blame people for the same crimes she committed since she has the benefit of being charged and going to court and actually spending a little time in a cell.

Unless there is another dining room (conveniently located off camera) to Society, then it seems to me pretty stupid for Devon and Abby to be hogging one of the few seatings (three tables, two bistro seats and a couch) that Society has to offer. Tessa said they were fully booked for dinner reservations. Are people standing up to eat? Tessa, you should do what every other hostess is told to do and imbibe your hydration out of sight of the customers. At the very least, leave your water bottle at the bar with the bartender. Did anyone else wonder at "Warren's" ability to hear through glass panes? Or maybe he reads lips?

Good point, Surfs. That would explain how she could have hoisted a body bigger than herself over the railing. She had some help. And it probably would have taken all three of them to do it. I think that we can all agree that Bonnie and Clyde are certifiable and that whatever their plans are have no grounding in reality. Like the writers, they are making it up as they go along. It's been mentioned already, but why didn't Phyllus, Daniel and Summer (who, yeah, should have been with her ailing "son") just stay home? I'm sure they could have indulged themselves with yet another tradition that was totally Heather's favorite thing to do on NYE. And Daniel could have cared for his ailing child. Daniel didn't know Danny was going to show up at the Jazz Grotto and they had to know they were going to run into someone Red was pissed off with. (Since she hates pretty much everybody now) Same logic, I guess, that keeps them going to Crimson Lights and being upset at running into Sharon.

as in appropriate hair styling and clothing choices.