Hotel Snarker

Mike commutes 6 hours a day????

That farm house gives me anxiety...so much crap everywhere.

Why didn't Rebecca just renew her lease at the old place? Why wasn't that an option from the get go. Rebecca makes everything more complicated.

Did she steal a shopping cart?

Is anyone else tired of seeing Big Ed lick guacamole off his face? It disgusts me.

I’m with Julia. I have no desire to live on a farm. Rebecca! Why would you move into the same building you and your ex lived in?! Was that the only option?!

We have a French Toast leitmotif this season!

Whoa, is Hazel the first cast member to like America this season?!

OK, bleach is one of the most commonly cleaning agents in the world. It is most easily identifiable by it's strong smell. There is no way Natalie doesn't know what bleach is even if she can't read the label.

Why are they shooting fireworks during the day?

"Nobody pees on the street in New Orleans." Bourbon Street is 100% piss and vomit.

The only thing that rug is good for is taking naked selfies while lying on your stomach.

I am not, and I will not. They just want our money.

Is Stephanie a doctor? Please tell me she isn't a doctor.

Aspen is a Karen.

Let the girl sleep in, she literally just travelled from Russia. I can imagine that’s a crazy time difference, not to mention she usually works nights. My. God.

Happy New Year everyone! I'm excited for the new episode tonight! By the way, today's my birthday :-)

I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while, but I have been keeping up with the new season and couples. Here are my thoughts on the latest episode: Mike and Natalie: She comes off as a brat but I can’t imagine being in her situation. She left the place she’s lived her entire life and left her mother alone to go to America and be with this guy. She’s shown a lot of commitment and I hesitate to criticize her this episode for her minor complaints. I would like to think if I was moving to live with someone else they could at least have food I like and turn the heat up a little or offer me a blanket!! Neither of them are putting much effort in. Cougar Stephanie and Ryan: Okay, whatever she’s been injecting herself with has clearly affected her common sense. We haven't met Ryan yet, but from the previews, he sounds like a user. Something about wanting her to send him a bunch of watches so he can give to his friends. I think she knows he's taking advantage of her but she'll appease him just to get him to stick around. She comes across as weird and lonely. She should hook up with Mmmm David. Brandon and Julia: I actually really like Julia, she’s honest, trying, and seems to really like Brandon. I think the parents are extra AF, but I think Brandon should’ve planned better. Like maybe not bringing her over till after he had enough money for their own place or AT THE LEAST giving her a heads up about the bedroom. And the mom being like “oh won’t she like it after she sees how nice it is?” Like NOOO, there’s legit storage in there. Also, why display the vase of condoms and then get SO OFFENDED that Julia and Brandon still want to discuss sleeping in the same room when she legit has no one around. Oof, that whole family. Andrew and Amira: He seems like a total doofus. I feel so bad for her. She’s the nicest lady. WAY out of his league.

My last thoughts on these people, whether there’s a tell all or not: Jenny and Sumit: Wow, Sumit’s own mom threatened to kill herself because her son wants to marry Jenny. What kind of mother says she will kill herself for her son's happiness? It’s not her relationship whether it’s good or not. I don’t think she would take her life, it’s just a manipulative move. Brittany and Yazan: She’s not taking this relationship seriously. The only thing that matters to her is that 15 minutes of fame. She needs to leave poor Yazan alone and stop playing with his feelings. Her best friend is way prettier and seems more sincere and probably should be on the show. Ari and Bini: This episode, I was 100% team Ari. She was being a protective mother. All the dust, water from a hose spraying, of course some of what went on the person next to them splashed off on them, the heat, the noise... That's not an appropriate environment for a baby by no means necessary. I wished she had stood her grounds and didn't go. He wants everything and keeps saying “Just this one thing”, and she does it, but come on, that is HER baby too. I definitely was on her side with that and I probably would have freaked out too. After they got away from the crowd, they could have agreed to leave the baby with the family and go back. Deavan and Jihoon: Deavan doesn’t know how to think for herself. I think her mom influenced her a lot. Jihoon is no angel. but I think he was trying. She was just batshit crazy and looking for a reason to be mad all the time. Also, how do you get married one episode and the next episode you’re leaving to “work on your marriage”? WTF?

Jenny and Sumit: I don’t think the parents will ever accept the marriage. But, as this season has gone on, I’m starting to wonder if Sumit even wants the marriage anymore. I’m guessing the more time he’s spent with her the more annoyed he’s gotten and he realizes there’s no way he’s willing to give up his parents for someone he isn’t sure he wants to spend the rest of he’s life with. That meeting with his brother said it all - he was speaking so little, being vague, so Jenny jumps in with the “we love each other.” I’m not sure that love is still there for Sumit. Brittany and Yazan: Sorry to say, but Brittany doesn’t really love Yazan. She truly LOVES the lime light, she LOVES the attention , she doesn’t have any respect or care for anyone else. There you go I said it, she is a selfish twat and a clout chaser. Also, can we give credits to the amazing interpreter Adam for translating so eloquently? He is so far the best translator we’ve ever had on 90 Day Fiance. I think Jihoon could use a translator like him. Ari and Biniyam: It’s sad that Bini was expecting her to freak out. She’s sure that he can’t trust her not to, so there’s no trust between them. I don’t believe they even love each other but are together because she got knocked up and now they both love that precious baby. It won’t last. She needs to go back home. Cheesedick Tim & Melyza: If I were Tim, I would’ve just said "Hey, I'm going to get milk" and then left on a plane. 🤣 In fact, he never should have gone there in the first place. These two are so freaking strange. They are not for each other. They will never trust each other. They are beating a dead horse!

Kenny and Armando: Can’t say I was shocked that their marriage visa got denied. Mexico's laws regarding gay marriage is not surprising. You are talking different laws and a Latino culture that does not encourage this. Armando and his partner should have known this and figure out ahead of time how to deal with it. I wonder when they will start to talk about moving to the USA, where this is not an issue. Jenny and Sumit: I don’t think Sumit’s family will accept Jenny anytime soon. In India, are pretty strong on their customs. According to their culture it is an embarrassment. I feel bad for Jenny, she is such a kind soul and Sumit is so wishy washy too. Plus, Sumit’s pulling back too. He's divorced and wants to stay that way. Their relationship is doomed, and Jenny needs to go back to the US. Ari and Biniyam: I see a lot of people on here think Ari’s parents were being condescending. I personally think they are being very polite for how horrified they probably feel inside! Also, notice how he weaseled out of answering the income questions and never directly answered. So sometimes he goes out and gets paid nothing instead of staying home and helping with his child and keeping his girlfriend company. Brittany and Yazan: I believe Yazan didn’t tell Brittany the full details about what was going on while she was gone, probably because he knows she will just accuse him of lying about the situation cause she only believes what she chooses to believe.

Cheesedick Tim & Melyza: I think she could have stayed with Tim’s family more if she wanted to fix the relationship with his family, but not if she plans on continuing to be an emotionless grouch. Both of them continue to bore me to death. Brittany and Yazan: My god, Brittany is so disrespectful! She's been to Jordan a number of times and is aware of the culture and customs yet she blatantly acted like a complete jackass. Even her friend tried to keep her in check. Her friend understood exactly how to conduct herself in that environment. She should’ve spoken up and told Brittany she is wrong about everything. It's one thing to keep your guard up, but it’s another to be completely blind about the culture and religion of Yazan and what he's going through. This guy literally gave up everything for her. She is just completely ignorant when it comes to different cultures. How she acted in this new episode was a joke but made it very clear about who she is. Ari and Biniyam: I think Ari is justified in being suspicious of Biniyam’s work. He was acting pretty shady with that phone. He’s probably talking to baby momma number 3. Plus, ass drums with the ex is too much.

Man, these couples have been giving me a headache every week. Brittany just needs to leave Yazan alone. Talk about mismatch! 🙄 Melyza and Tim are borrrrring 🥱 and even her eyes say “I’m bored” 😂. The other couples are super weird - Deavan & Jihoon; Jenny & Summit. Here’s my opinion on some of them: Deavan and Jihoon: I don’t believe Jihoon cheated. Deavan’s just looking to pick a fight. I think it’s ridiculous when women get mad at men cause they don’t always use their pictures or thoughts of them while masturbating. That’s so stupid. I think she’s just looking for ANY excuse to leave him!! Which we already know she did leave him and this was probably why!! She’s a skank! Ari and Biniyam: I totally understand her position, he is throwing so much at her when she is still in lots of pain from the C-section and hormones shredding. Them together, great. Them in a situation where she newly lives in Ethiopia and is learning a whole new culture, added with the pressure of being newly married and co-habitating, and the pressure of an infant... I mean any one of those things can be overwhelming - happening all at once would be enough to break someone. Always remember that people behave in unusual ways when they are filled with stress and anxiety. For Ariela, that seems to especially apply. I’m sure they are both great people, but I’m betting she feels completely overwhelmed and is clinging to what control she still feels she has. Kenny and Armando: I would love to say they’d make it in Mexico, but sadly no. Kenny not learning the language will be part of it. Kenny is used to the easy way from the states. Mexico is a whole different league for them to marry and such. Cheesedick Tim and Melyza: Why would Tim even think about telling his mother who cheated on who. I never let my parents in that part of my life, and my parents never talked to me about theirs. What is wrong with these people putting it on the street? This couple is doomed. I can't even imagine them being married for a lifetime...OMG 😲

Just came here to say - Please boot off Angela and Skyla and Tom and his sister, and keep these four couples on Pillow Talk - Loren and Alexei, David and Annie, Tim and Veronica, and Molly and Cynthia. Thank you.

Here are my thoughts on some of the couples in this recent episode “Bris-fully Ignorant”: I’m so relieved I don’t have to see Cheesedick Tim and Melyza this week. I’m honestly sick and tired of them. They’re dragging this out just to be on TV. Jenny and Summit: I love them, but Sumit shouldn’t accept the promise ring yet. He's not divorced. Talk about forcing the lemon tree to fruit in the middle of a snow blizzard. And also, I could do without you airing the sex talk part. Thank you. Kenny and Armando: Okay, I know this is my favorite couple so far, and I really want them to make it. However, Kenny needs to take a step back when it comes to Armando parenting Hannah. He’s new at parenting a child that’s not his and Armando is new at having a second parent in the mix. I think he should maybe approach it differently and needs to remember that everyone “parents” different. They should sit down and talk about parenting together and what that looks like for them because eventually that can tear a relationship apart by having different parenting ideas. Also, Kenny REALLY needs to learn Spanish. In fact, he pushes too hard on lots of stuff towards Armando. I love Armando and his daughter. 💕 She deserves to be a little pampered, she just left all she's ever known behind. Brittany and Yazan: Man, Brittany is such a selfish twat. She walks around with that smug smirk nonstop. I swear there’d be a building burning down, and she’d still stand there with the dumb smirk. She just wants to be on TV and doesn’t give a damn about getting her or Yazan killed. Ari and Bini: Man, I don’t know what to say here. I really feel for Ari. She just had a traumatic birth experience and then comes home to a goat slaughter and Biniyam’s family pressuring her. That’s too much. There is absolutely no chance that Ari will compromise with Bini over the parenting of that baby. They won’t last. I bet she will be back with her parents before that baby is 2.