gingerella

Speaking of Miss Dany, she of the Traveling Dragon Pants...So, like, is she just marching hither and yon, and any city she comes across she just smites with her Dragons and Unsullied army? I mean, shit, that doesnt seem very strategery-like to me. At some point, she is going have her non-flammable ass handed to her. Seems like The Great DraGone Death March if you ask me (yeah, I know nobody asked me but still, its weird).

But how could she be part-Targ AND a Dragon? I thought they, Targ's, would probably have to be of pure blood and have that freaky deaky platinum blond hair. Shae is nothing like what we have thus far seen of Dany and her demento bro. I dunno...I want to know Shae's backstory, but I dont feel the Dragon vibe. Doesnt mean she isnt, but I'm not feeling thatabout her.

Constantinople, I take umbrage with your Sister List. In particular, I think we can say that Yara at least ties Margery for first place...lest we forget that she allowed Theon to engage in a wee bit 'o sister-fingering...on horseback no less! That? Should at least tie her with Marg's bisexual three-way with her brother and Renley. I'm just sayin', fair is fair. TA: All hail, Cardie! Welcome back, here's your mug o grog!

After basking in the afterglow of Off of Joff, I am now left wondering, "so now what?!" Will they use all the guests gathered in one place for the wedding, and immediately crown Tommen King? Is he going to end up being as batshit crazy as Joff was? Are we going to find that all Cersei's incest brood are nutso freaks? I dont think I could deal with another Joffs, I mean, we still have Bolton's bastard, oy.

My, my, my..well that was quite the Redemption Day, was it not? I rather love that that little sick fuck went out both humiliated by choking on his own incest-ridden vomit, and in public no less...for me that's a WIN-WIN! I shudder to think of whats going to happen to Tyrion but I hope to hell, the Seven, the trees, and the LoL, that he makes it out alive and Cersei goes out next. I'm really tired of her nasty ass. Game over Joffs! I was rather hoping that Bolton would off his bastard for screwing up his plan to hold Theon hostage, but alas, I really think Bolton is a dimwit if he cant see what a twisted freakshow his bastard really is. I wonder who his mother was because he reminds me a lot of Joffrey, ergo I wonder if he is the product Bolton and is sister. Incest...there's a reason its forbidden in most cultures. So it seems like The Fool had some sort of plan for spiriting Sansa away to safety, yes? That was him who was trying to get her to come with him as Joffs was dying, right? So KUDOS to whomever said that it would be awesome if The Fool ended up being responsible for finall offing Joffrey. ALL HAIL THE FOOL! Pass me some grog, I'm feeling a bit off of wine for some reason. Enjoyed seeing Bran & Company, but am still sorting out Bran's hallucinations when he was communing with the Tree. I feel like his being a warg also means he has some sort of connection with the Trees, and that they are like a medieval telegraph for him, relaying events that he does not necessarily know about, but those messages are being relayed to him via the Tree. Does Bran know about Ned yet? A Show has so many threads that I cant remember! Does he know about everything that he was "shown" when he was touching the Tree? I dont think he does but Im not sure. So I wonder what will happen to Maegery now, I mean, technically they were sealed in marriage already but she did not have time to consummate the union do I doubt she can even fake a pregnancy, let alone claim to have had time to schtup the King before being married...that wouldnt look too good for THE Queen, would it? But holy shit! That chick dodged a HUGE bullet didnt she? I was seriously wondering what her wedding night was going to look like, hot buttered mess of a train wreck. Oh yes, two more things: 1. Brienne is fucked now. Cersei is going to try to take her out but I hope (pleeeeease LoL and The Seven) that somehow, Jaime is forced to choose and he chooses to save Brienne at Cersei's expense, and then Jaime has to watch Cersei die. That? Wold be totally delicious to watch! 2. I'm not sure what Jaime's point was by threatening Tyrell not to marry his sister, because it really does not seem like he could stop that if its what his father wants it to happen...but it does seem like Tyrell has his gaydar on for Oberyn. That's not going to end well I fear, for the Knight of Flowers. This show exhausts the hell out of me. I wonder if Bookwalkers are less stressed out when watching A Show because they know whats going to happen (and NO, I am not asking Bookwalkers to weigh in on that, its a rhetorical question).

Pallas, thank you so much for updating where we are now on A Show as a Rubik's Cube! I was hoping someone pick up the torch and do that. I think you're pretty much on the money with what you've said, and it seems that since June 2012, when I initially wrote that theory, we are slowing, turn by turn, moving each of the sides of the cube this way and that. Did magic always exist but it was that nobody believed in it in Westeros or elsewhere? Hmmmmm, it seemed pretty easy for Dany to get her eggs to turn into real dragons and now look at them, burning entire cities at her one-word command. If dragons aren't magic I don't know what is. Also related to magic possibly, is whatever nonsense is going on with Cersei and her "pharmacist/doctor" maester. Who knows what magic lurks in the potions and whatnot he's been giving her for her womanly issues. Could that be magic of a sort? Oh! Side spitball incoming...I can totally see Joffs hearing about dragons and becoming obsessed with getting one/them for himself. That? Could be a way that Dany gets her hoard to Westeros...some fake invitation by "The King", and his motive is really "I want dragons, I want, I want, I want!" (That last bit should be said like a terrible two's toddler having a meltdown over a toy he wants). I still see all the LoL-related religions like a pre-cursor to Christianity, each with the same main God, but each slightly different depending on who is practicing and where. Winter Is Coming. We get it. But life at the Wall seems more desperate than ever. I mean, they don't have nearly the numbers compared to what's coming towards them right? All they "have" really is A Wall. And we already know that Wildlings can scale that no prob. I keep harkening back to Nan's story of WW's riding on GIANT spiders. I hate spiders. The GIANT part freaks me bejeezus out of me. We've not seen any GIANT spiders yet but are they out there? Could they be big enough to just step over the Wall, or shimmy right up and over it? If Winter is indeed Coming, could the Wall be so frozen that it would be impossible to open the doors to the tunnels because they'd be frozen over? Seems fair to me. UhOh! Another side spitball incoming...I think we will not see Uncle Benjen again alive now. But I could imagine we'd see him again as a WW maybe? Unless he's deep within the Wildlngs now, either still trying to get intel for the Night's Watch, or just to survive in that hostile world a day longer. I miss him. He's the last main connection to Ned, whom I also miss. As Pallas points out above, the Lannisters sort of epitomize the human nature/Team Red right now, with their insatiable thirst to control and conquer everyone. They still act as though Winter Isn't Coming, and they are sitting on top of the world now, where they deserve to be. But in reality, they're sitting on a cherry atop a shit sundae of their own making, with their fingers in their ears chanting, "lalaLALALALA..." when it comes to Winter and other threats. Will their hubris topple them finally?

I wanted to pull my theory from two years ago, over here before it goes POOF in the night. I just re-read it, and for me, it still stands today, perhaps even more so with what has transpired between June 2012, when I wrote this, and today.

I wanted to pull this over from elsewhere because it's funny, at least to me, but I don't know where this type of convo should go so I'm putting it here for now... I love it, great idea. If Syrio Forel comes back he could host. "And what do we say to the god of bad design? Not today!" Oh dear, this could be an entire new thread! Ha, love the tag line. Syrio could host a Westeros style version of Survivor, he's Westeros's answer to Jeff Probst. "Survivor's ready....dance!" Tyrion could star in a version of Little Imp, Big Kingdom: The exploits of the smallest big man in the Seven Kingdoms. Littlefinger could be the new Million Dragons Matchmaker. He combs the Seven Kingdoms to match up his clients. First up, the hottest Virgin of the North, Jon Snow, looking for his Mrs. Snow. Sam the Wizard can host Castle Black Medium: summoning the spirits around unsuspecting people and freaking them out. Many franchises related to the RH's: The Real Housewives of Winterfell, The Real Housewives of KL (Cersei, Sansa as Bethanny, etc.) Tyrion could also do double duty as the Jeff Lewis of KL in Castle Therapy: the wacky hijinks of Tyrion trying to psychoanalyze the reasoning behind Joffrey's redesigning the throne room. I'd also like to see some sort of Dr. Drew addiction show, starring Cersei and Jaime and their incest addiction. Maybe we could do an entire series called Addiction Island: Incest Version, starring the Lannister siblings, Theon and sister, Robin and Mommy, I know I'm forgetting others.... As you can see, I could go on and on and on with this tangent...

Dear Volunteer Bookwalker mods, Kind thanks for helping to provide safe haven for the brethren of the Spitball Wall Watch. I tip my hat to you, and offer you a hearty mug of grog! All hail the volunteer Bookwalkers!

Yeah, these two new stories are intriguing to me. I wold normally foresee the Fool dying an ugly death, yet given his reappearance now, I can foresee his death being preceded by some really heroic act like someone else said, killing Joffrey. Perhaps Joffs goes off on Sansa publically for the millionth time in front of the Fool OR the Fool walks in on Joffs trying to do something heinous to Sansa and he kills that little fucker once and for all, before getting killed himself..though I wonder if the Kingsguard gives a shit about Joffs. It seems like nobody truly likes that little bugger so maybe the Fool would become a knight. Hey, stranger things have happened in the 7K.Now about Oberyn's plans...hmmmmm...that is a bit baffling. It IS indeed perplexing in the social norms of Westeros, that someone from another kingdom would ride into town and slap his dick on the table and start swilling ale whilst insulting his hosts. I dont get that attitude at all, and yet I am very intrigued by Oberyn. I cannot imagine him turning a blind eye to Joffs debauched masochistic BS towards women. I am looking forward to whatever makes this dude snap.

Duuuude, word, and yo! I can see the small sword for Joffs, but then somehow Arya ends up with it. And taking it a step further, since I believe Jamie knows the provenance of the swords, I could also see him at some point repatriating his sword to Arya and/or one of the remaining Stark siblings. You know, to show his honoring his commitment to impress Brienne. I could also see both swords melted down to make 4 smaller swords for Arya, Jon Snow, Bran and Rickon. So each remaining kid has a piece of pop...and yes I left out Sansa because IF she survives, I highly doubt she would want a sword anyway. Imagine how many walnuts Pauly Rickon could open with Valerian steel.ETA: I could also see that Joffs goes fucking apeshit when he finds out that his one-handed unclefather got the bigger sword. That? could easily be enough to get Joffs on the killpath for both Jamie and Tywin. You know how narcissistic Joffrey is, it would be his very own wedding gift to himself to off his grandfather and/or uncledaddy.

My Spitball Wall brethren, a raven has been sent to each of you at the old castle wall...please fetch it's contents post haste, before said ravens vanish back into the dark, inky night... As for last night's episode, I am at a loss. I was happy to see so many updates on some of my favorite characters, and I was beyond thrilled to see Arya get Needle back in the first episode. I had been really wanting this season to see her get back Needle AND find her pup again, so one out of two on the first go round made me a happy spitballer! Also telling was, wasn't this Arya's "first kill"? I don't remember her killing before, and I loved - well, as much as one can love the literal version of bloody murder - the way she killed that bastard who killed that kid when they were hiding out on their forest walk about. Talk about an eye for an eye. And the girl didn't bat a lash whilst watching him choke on his own blood. Arya is turning out to be quite the little bloodetter, her Daddy would be proud. I hope she does get to Braavos and becomes both a master swordswoman and a shapeshifter, though I also don't want to lose the actor playing her so maybe I should let go of that last bit... I was wondering how Sansa could wear that necklace without anyone asking her where she got it, and kudos to whomever said they thought it was the necklace that Diana Rigg threw over the wall. Good catch, anyone re watch that bit yet? Jon Snow's trial was a bit daft and I didn't get why the dude in charge let old Aemon get away with saying basically, "the dude is innocent, let him go get some dinner now..." That was a bit weird. And where is Sam's lady friend and her baby? Someone please tell me again, whose sword did Tywin melt down into two swords? I missed that bit. Thanks. I too, want Tywin to lose it all before he dies, he's a bastard. But then, I was also surprised at his emotion towards Jamie by gifting him a new Valerian steep sword...that was about as paternal and fatherly as I've seen him to be yet. Jamie and Brienne...I do hope she constantly reminds him of his promise to bring back the girls to Winterfell, and that he goes off with her, though I have great fear for Brienne's safety with Cersei close by. Regardless of whether she has locked her chastity belt to Jamie forever (what do you call a chastity belt that a willing twincestor would use to lock out her twin? I've no idea!), I doubt she will take too kindly to his meaningful friendship with another vagina, yanno? Run, Brienne, Run!

Seven Hells brothers! I thought I was going to have to abandon my post here. All I can say for now is...NEEDLE!!! BTW, do we have PMs here? I cannot find the door...

Hmmm, methinks we were infiltrated by Bookwalkers...this thread was about 7 or 8 pages a little while ago and now it is only 3...Has one of Littlefinger's minions stolen our posts?

Twenty-four hours and counting...and so our watch begins...

Hail my brethren of the Spitball Wall! I hath journeyed ten leagues to reacheth this new kingdom. Nay, I have seen things no Night's Watch should ever see. Slain creatures that hath tried to spoiler me with the breath of stale book knowledge, and out smarted pigshit that raineth down with Bookwalker tears. For godssake! Someone pass me an overflowing mug of grog, mead, or whatever the hell we're drinking in this new realm. If we are not secure here, I can always offer safe passage to another, smaller, invisible realm where we can enjoy safe harbor. Until then, let us see how safe we are here. I raise my mug to the return of A Man. That is all A Viewer really wants for S4...