gorgy

Congrats to Jaida Essense Hall. I have a strong aversion to webcam video production, so I fast-forwarded/skipped through most of the show, so I can't say a whole lot. I did stop to watch Heidi's bit and that was amusing for what it was. For me, Crystal Methyd is starting to read more as a children's entertainer rather than a drag queen. I'm watching the opening and thinking to myself what does dressing as a life-size piñata have to do with drag? At some point, Ross Mathews or whomever can say drag has "no rules" but that allows it to be stretched to the point of meaning nothing. I'm not trying to take anything away from Ms. Methyd, but she creates these characters that would be more at home in some messed-up Mr. Rogers Land of Make-Believe. Even her music video looks like something my nieces and nephews would see on Youtube (I however got bored after 15-20 seconds). I think some of her other looks were inspired by children's shows like Power Puff Girls and Pee-Wee's Playhouse, so she does have a tendency to run in that direction. I do enjoy a lot of Crystal's looks, such as the ice challenge and especially the Bert/Ernie team (if the last image I see before on my death bed is a picture of those two, I'll die with a smile on my face) where she's actively playing around with genderfucking type of drag, but the piñata, the cow, and even the Freddy Krueger are just clubkid wear. I've grown tired of Gigi. On the C.U.N.T. scale, Jaida really excels in the T-department. She's just so talented. Because it's a tv show, uniqueness has been weighted more heavily, but a lot of times that can come off as gimmicky. Her dancing in her living room and killing it really showed the difference between her and the other competitors. It's refreshing.

I've been side-eying Kevin since the first quick-fire in episode one where me mentioned PFTS, which stands for "people for that shit." He said it in this almost haughty tone, and the fact that it is a phrase used enough that he made an acronym took me by surprise on first viewing. I've been at the top of the ladder, the bottom rung, and everywhere in between and that snide attitude doesn't work for me. In that instant, I pretty much figured Kevin out and so many moments since then have not changed my opinion.

Most Olympians train their entire lives from sun up to sundown for years focused on a single goal, and every 2-4 years NBC trots them out to judge some reality tv competition due to corporate synergy, and because they are so focused on that one singular pursuit, their commentary absolutely sucks. That, along with those two severe guest judges made for a dull main challenge. I'm not taking anything away from their food, as I'm sure its outstanding (especially compared to last's weeks campsite crapstavaganza) but watching the regular judges trying to get any valuable repartee out of this group was like pulling teeth. Although it's evident TV Chef© Brian Malarky has his issues, if I was given a giant storeroom of free food and an industrial ice cream maker, I'd probably mess around with it, too. And I don't even really like ice cream

For a number of reasons, Gigi has been compared to drag-racers like Aquaria and Violet, but her sensibilities would be more in line with someone like Manilla Luzon. Nicky Doll was "the fashion queen" of the season.

smoking, drinking, and apparently sexual assault can be quite aging

The villain of the season turned out to be the editor constantly getting in Bryan Voltaggio's laugh. A little goes a long way The challenge was... not good. It's one of those end of the season things where the producers feel they have to up the ante and it becomes more of a deterrent than a challenge. It was like two too many obstacles for the sake of it, and it ultimately leads to unsatisfying results for everyone, especially the viewers.

I've said before and I'll say it again, Jackie Cox looks a million times better out of drag than in drag. (sidenote - he mentioned going to Chicago pride one year. I'm pretty sure we're the same age and he looks vaguely familiar...) His 5ish minute bit was solid. His runway look seemed fine to me. Crystal's bit was amusing but I'm glad it only went five minutes. Anything more and I'd be bored. Heidi is like a young Latrice. Beloved by all, talented but somewhat limited in skillset, and screwed up the makeover challenge. She'll be back for All-Stars 7 or 8 GiGi lacks seasoning. She is about the same age as Violet and Aquaria when they were on, but those two seemed like they've been at it for a lot longer. It's only now becoming apparent to me that [redacted] exists. Now that the numbers are dwindling, I could lose her in the pack when she had as much screen time as Fierce Broc-ally, but they editors have to fill up the show length with something. It's like she subconsciously went over five minutes to make up for her editing. Jaida is still my favorite. Her story didn't work out too well, but it was a good concept. I'd say even the weaker performances were good ideas, but not performed to their full potential.

Can we stop with the front of the house position in restaurant wars? It's the one thing that creates unnecessary drama all the time. Bring in professionals, or celebrities, or even past Cheftestants. I'm sure Malarkey would love the screen time every season. Unless there some small bistro or a server is out sick, no real restaurant has one of the line cooks also running the floor. Why don't we have somebody cleaning dishes or doing coat check while we're at it?

It's usually done at the very end of May or very beginning of June to coincide with Pride month. It helps the drag racers book $$$ gigs and such. I believe it's scheduled for May 29th.

Generally, the makeover challenge is my least favorite, but this was one of the better ones. Jaida's been my favorite since the beginning and I'm glad she's really shining. She's just so good at everything. Crystal's runway looks had me cracking up. I lost a lot of my sense of humor after years of depression, but this queer(er) Bert&Ernie had me in stitches. I'm still laughing about it while typing this. Gigi's looks tend to be on the simpler side, but in no way are they plain. My favorite of her looks was the lesbian biker getup in her first episode. She's still young and she'll continue refining her craft BUT this challenge look seemed just a little too easy. It's like when the drag race contestests have meet&greet looks. No tucking or cinching required. We can just replace [redacted] with Janet The Planet in the finals I wasn't surprised we had two safe queens in the lipsync. I was doing the math in my head at some point during the show and realized there's still so many weeks left until the finale. I know we would have had to sit through some boring Brita vs Aiden drama at the reunion, but maybe the quarantine will spare us from that particular pain.

This was like the reality tv version of a bottle episode. They barely left the set, made some tacos, and the only cash spent went to scrapbooking. I'm expecting (and hoping) Restaurant Wars is where a lot of the production money went. I like Eric, but his restaurant sounded... unappealing. When he mentioned using a particular color because it represented slave shackles. It's like, wow, you can really taste the suffering. Interestingly enough, Kevin's southern spice restaurant has its own connection to slavery. I'm pretty sure the eastern spice trade also involved using unpaid labor from Africa as well because, in a nutshell, humanity is terrible. Speaking of terrible, I can see why Malarky is so successful. He has the same coked-out energy associated with so many restaurateurs and other hucksters. Fake recognizes fake.

The winner of this mess running a sweatshop is pretty on-brand for Amazon

Similar to how AOC might have been used in this week's political debate, Raven probably would have been better suited in next week's makeover competition.

I'm glad Jaida won. She's probably the most polished queen, second only to [name redacted]. Also, she doesn't have the loudest personality, but Jaida has been good to great at every challenge and makes her own costumes, which is refreshing since a lot of queens use the same designers from seasons past and it all starts to look similar. Jaida is like the polar opposite of Silky. The mini challenge was fun and actually made me laugh out loud. Jackie's Eartha Kit was fantastic. Widow acted like a real cat just following a light and it got old (I'm a dog person) The maxi challenge was fine. I think there were too many contestants on stage for there to be any strong interaction between queens without it devolving into chaos. The rebuttal/retittle/retattle, while humorous, showed how easy it could fall off the wheels. This one responds, then that one, then she rebukes, and this one responds to that, and so and so and so on... It also felt so staged, especially with the Bloom/Goldblum bits. Jaida was the only one that stood out. Crystal, Jackie, and Gigi were at the same level, so I wouldn't put one over the other two. Widow is not as funny as she thinks she is. That became apparent when she chose to be Ike Turner during Snatch Game. I'm still confused, daily, by that choice. Usually you pick a beloved gay icon and instead she went with an infamous abuser. Her talking heads always seem harsh. A lot of her looks have been atrocious. What can I say - not a fan Heidi is so lovely. I hope she doesn't become a walking meme like Monique Heart. The producer's keep pushing the Broc-Ally thing solely because they want another viral Miss Vanjie. I will tolerate it, but I will not celebrate it.

I have not changed my mind. This season is not making the cut.

That show was so weird. Bravo was striving to find a Project Runway replacement and settled on this calamity as well as The Fashion Show with Isaac Mizrahi. The Fashion Show was more in line with Project Runway in terms of format, but I think "America" chose the winner or whatever. It left me with the same unpleasantness this show does. It's like my brain knows it's designer imposter Project Runway, so I can't enjoy it for what it is. (or maybe they're both just bad shows) Launch My Line was so stupid in concept and it was ultimately a huge waste of time, but I somewhat liked this train wreck. A bunch of non-designers (like Merle Ginsberg, who judged the first couple of seasons of RuPaul's Drag Race, and some guy named Patrick who was tangentially involved with fashion, I think) playing fashion for 8 or 10 episodes, but nothing serious. I like my reality competitions to be amongst talented competitors, so this came off as desperate drama-filled rubbish to fill the Project Runway timeslot.

I finally figured out the reason I'm not too hot on Jackie Cox's drag is because I'm too attracted to Jacking Cox out of drag. Anyway... Widow's lip sync was too good to let go. Jan gives a lot of energy and emotion, so I'm sure the producers would be happy to bring Jan back for All-Stars, and I'm sure she'd accept in a heart beat.

Was Malarky this odious in his original season? I remember him somewhat excitable but solid. I understand mentally sizing up your competition, but to write it down in a notebook like he did is the markings of someone touched in the head or a person desperate for screen time. I'm not sure which one is healthier.

Jan has this affected, high-school drama club aspect to her personality which is why it's difficult for me to really root for her because it comes off as disingenuous when I can see the wheels turning. It started off in the tulle challenge and she came out with tools and made it clear how clever she thought she was. I get it, you don't need to point it out. That's the difference between someone wanting to be applauded for their effort compared to someone gaining accolades for making it look effortless. That's why Jan is a Jan and Gigi is a Marcia. The producers asked Gigi who Patti Lupone was and she hemmed & hawed and still gave a fantastic Madonna-inspired performance whereas Jan would tell you Patti's entire wikipedia bio word-for-word with a shit eating grin and those psychotic eyebrows (they are a cry for help) and gave a fundamentally-sound performance that didn't feel at all unique or special. This is sounding harsher than I planned on when I started typing. Anyway, I bet Jan is probably great on stage at a live performance, but this is a tv show that forces me, the viewer, to see behind the curtain just a little, and I'm not buying what she's selling.

I'm glad Amazon releases two episodes a week because I'm not sure I'd last a whole 10 or 12 weeks of this. The sum is less than the parts it seems. I tried, but I really don't care for any of the designers on a personal level or really in a fashion sense, either. As a whole, the looks created all come off so dowdy (R.I.P. Wendy Pepper), but that maybe just the trends of today. There are probably some descent pieces, but the misses outnumber the hits by a large margin. This show reminds me more of something that was NBC years ago (I think Nicole Richie was a judge on that, too) and all the looks were immediately available at Macy's or something like that. Each designer had a team and maybe a mentor. I forget the exact details, but I don't think that show was particularly successful either. The line between clothing as fashion or commodity lays a lot of pitfalls. If Amazon is trying to become the new HSN with branded designers, this isn't the best format for them. The judging panel is not good. The only one that offered useful critique was Nicole Richie, and she's replaced with an influencer(what a worthless existence that is) who clearly is in over her head, because other than saying she likes or doesn't like something, there is no feedback. Her stating that if she likes it, then all 17 million of her followers would as well, and in that moment, I realized how out of touch I am. I did enjoy that Naomi Campbell seems quite over the whole thing when on multiple occasions the one male judge in a neutral tone (that came off as stern) would ask Naomi if she liked whatever schmatta was going down the stairs, and she'd give off a "Yeah" or "I hate it" while frumped down in her chair. Heidi trying to be the charismatic lead with this group is not working at all. Also, the only energy this show has is Heidi going off to different places absent of anything to do with fashion. The juxtaposition between these skits and the rest of the show seem like a waste of time. That cartoon thing was just annoying. I hate to say it, but Tim is practically worthless. He mostly just stands back, looks contemplative, and then the designers continue to do whatever it is they were going to do anyway. I'd criticize the production, but what would I bitch about next week

I watched the entire rusical (minus catfish queen), which is usually the challenge I skip every year. I'm not into musicals but, well bitch, it's Madonna. Overall, I thought everyone did a good job, but the only two that carried the Queen of Pop vibe for me were Gigi and Jaida. I personally enjoyed Crystal Method's part the most, so her being in top three was well deserved. In this challenge Jan met expectations, but didn't exceed expectations. Gigi's runway look didn't amaze me either, so it's a tossup for me who should have won. Widow has some of the worst runway looks of any season.

As far as Rocky Horror goes, I'm surprised no one has done Dr. Frankenfurter yet

With Amazon's near unlimited budget, I feel like the scope of the show could be a lot different than upscale Project Runway. The secret seamstresses are really holding it back because many of the designers supposedly can't sew, thus they're waiting on overnight mystery packages to see if what they envision is actually produced. Plus because they appear to have to have some hand in putting these garments together on day one, it inherently limits their design because they don't necessarily have the technical prowess to achieve their intended goals. Ultimately, Amazon is looking to sell these garments, so it should want to create a talented in-house group of designers. Perhaps each designer should be given like two on-camera sewers or so per challenge in which they have to make a capsule collection. Maybe they can have a week where they do all menswear, plus size, or any other sort of category like resort wear. Also, one week can be dedicated to different fabrics or techniques like leather/pleather and the designers learn how to work with different materials. The show should be a giant infomercial for Amazon fashion and it's held back by a lack of foresight.

It's difficult enough putting aside the bad behavior (to put it lightly) of Brita and [name redacted] but doing an Ike Turner impression is just crazy to me. Generally, you act in a character the audience would want to root for and Ike ain't it.

OMG. This can be described as high-end clown