ElleryAnne

Eolivet, I love you.

Well, I'm not sorry to see Cole go. Did I miss something? Mike seemed happy with the results, but I would've thought he was hoping a non-Healer would be gone instead. That immunity challenge looked like a killer. Good for Lauren for winning it, and for Cole, Ryan and Chrissy for hanging on for 20 minutes. Can Ryan please stop talking about the idol in his pants? All in all, the episode wasn't worth missing Charlie Brown's Thanksgiving for.

I feel like I need to send someone nineteen dollars a month to feed Ryan. He came into the game already skinny, but by the time he's finished, he'll be so thin even Abercrombie and Fitch would reject him. I usually appreciate when Survivor doesn't hand out massive amounts of food to the tribe, but this is the first time in a while that I'm realizing how much weight a lot of these people are losing. Mike is a shell of himself, Devon and Cole are noticeably thinner, and this week I realized that Lauren looks like she's lost quite a bit, too.

Nobody should eat spaghetti with their hands, even on Survivor. And given Cole's past history in the tribe, I'm surprised we didn't see anyone complain that Joe didn't make Cole go last - or at least, last other than Joe himself. Chrissy and Ryan go from reasonably smart (looking for the idol at the reward) to really stupid (whispering while right next to another player).

Ugh. I liked Desi. I didn't want her to go. But I was worried when we didn't see her doing much to save herself beyond trusting Joe. I had hoped the editors were just trying to set us up for a surprise. Joe seemed like a more obvious choice for them to vote out. But the editing showed him looking oddly suspicious when Lauren switched her advantage for the blank vote, and I wonder if he suspects something. Aww, Devon likes being a bright light. I actually believe that's true in his case. And I liked the little self-deprecating "I don't even know what I'm talking about" thing he did after saying that.

Well, that was a bit of a letdown for a so-called blindside. I didn't mind Jessica, and really wanted Cole gone. And speaking of Cole, did he say that back home he usually eats eight thousand calories a day? Normally, I'd think that was an exaggeration, but I'm not sure with him. Three people made it to the merge without a previous TC? Has that ever happened before? (I'm really bad at remembering previous seasons after they wrap up.) Desi was so pleasantly surprised when she won immunity - I was happy for her.

I guess I'm in the minority on this one, but I think Cole has surpassed Joe on the annoying douche list for me. At least Joe seems self-aware about being a human irritant; Cole inexplicably smiles like he thinks he's a cute little gremlin (feed me, feed me!) If you're going to almost pass out or have a minor seizure or whatever that was, at least it's good to have medical professionals a couple of feet away. The immunity challenge started off as one of the more dull ones, and I was surprised it took so long for a team to try the method that Yawa eventually did. But apparently I was more invested than I thought, because I expected Yawa to go to tribal. Or maybe it was wishful thinking, because I wanted Cole voted off. I was actually surprised that Soko lost instead.

Phooey. I liked Ali. In my perfect world, there would now be no merge and Soko would lose every challenge - especially the food ones.

Damn. I liked Roark, from what little I saw of her. And Chrissy gets on my last nerve. Desi is beautiful, and it was really evident during the last part of the immunity challenge. And I liked her casual-Friday jeans and jacket TH. Devon is starting to look like someone who's not Barbarino, but I can't figure out who he does remind me of now. He's definitely approaching that scruffy-handsome Survivor stage, though. I'm not a particular fan of Ryan (especially after tonight's tribal), but I felt bad for him doing the Sysiphus thing during that reward challenge.

His paranoia had me against him from the start, but he didn't seem to bring it as much to the new tribe. By the time he was calling out the six healers as being potentially more solid than the other (smaller) original teams, I was beginning to think I could actually root for him. Alas, that was the kiss of death for him and he was gone.

Well, that was interesting. All season I've hated both Joe and Alan, yet by the end of TC I didn't particularly hate either of them. (I'm sure Joe will annoy me again next week.) I'm not sure why Alan and Ashley didn't split their vote between Joe and Desi if they thought Joe had an idol, but if they had, Desi might be gone now. I like her, so I'm glad it worked out the way it did. The secret not-so-much-of-an advantage would have been funny if I didn't like Devin. But I do like him, so that part kinda sucked. Whoever was responsible for the nut-buster poles in that immunity challenge must be a sadist.

Bye, sore loser Patrick. That was the second-best possible ending to this episode. (The best would have been if Healers had gone to TC and blindsided Joe.) I was seriously concerned that Alan was going to lose a finger trying to open a coconut. I fear for the chickens.

Well, gee. Let's talk about how Simone isn't clicking with the team. And let's talk about how annoying Patrick is. (And he REALLY is annoying.) And oh look, here's the challenge. I wonder which team will lose and go to tribal. Why, it's the team with Simone and Patrick! Quelle surprise. If you were actually surprised by that, you may also have been surprised that the Asian woman who got no TH last week was voted out early (a sort of Survivor tradition). Or that an older woman was voted off first, last week. In the only other development of note, Cole is apparently not as shrewd as he could be, or he might have kept his mouth shut about the real meaning of the idol clue. Kind of a meh episode.

If there's still room in the pool, I'll join.

Inexplicably, he kept reminding me of Tom Hardy.

Oh, ugh. Does anyone else remember when some vague, compassionate PTB didn't think it was necessary to show a person actually vomiting? Okay, new season, and I'm already reminded of why this show makes me want to pull my hair out of my head. Yeah, hey, let's target the mom squad. They can't possibly offer anything of value to the tribe. It's not like Katrina might possibly be a good swimmer or anything, right? Early likes: Ashley, Desi, and maybe that guy that Ryan allied with. (Sorry, I don't remember his name. I kept calling him Barbarino in my head. He made me laugh because he admitted that his biggest fear was being voted out first, and he just doesn't seem the kind of guy that would ever have thought that might happen.) I approve of Ryan giving his superidol to someone he perceived as likely to be in the minority. It seemed worth it to hope that a strong player on an opposing team could then be voted out. Not sure why Chrissy didn't use it? (And why is she a hero?) Alan can get off my screen now. So can the probation officer. Welcome back, Survivor!

Well, lots of people are bastards. Pretty much everyone is, sometimes. That doesn't cancel out the contributions they make. RIP, Jerry Lewis.

Well, there HAVE been people who whined in advance about how horrible it would be if the show had cast yet another white male in the role. (Some admit they planned to argue about it.) So clearly at least some people were motivated by something other than whether a man selected as 13 could even have been a good choice, as if such a choice WOULD offend their political sensibilities in some way. Does that meet MW's definition of political correctness? Bit of a quibble. But for some people, the casting of a woman feels like caving to those who think it's omg!enlightened to cast a woman, while the showrunners would have been seen as socially backward misogynistic Neanderthals if they cast another man, and when one kind of response is acceptable but another kind of response can get you branded, there's some degree of PC there. If they'd stunt-cast a nine-year-old to play the Doctor, people would be allowed to disagree with the choice and not be labeled as having socially unacceptable feelings. And a few years from now, hopefully casting a woman wouldn't be a PC move, and people who disagree with the choice wouldn't be regarded negatively just for daring to disagree with the idea. Because for many who disagree, it's not out of misogyny or fear of change or anything that they should be demeaned for. It's just personal taste. As for me, I wanted 13 to be a man. It's just how I like my Doctor. No better reason than that. I'm going to give JW a chance, and I think there's a good chance that she'll do a decent job with the role. In fact, she looks like she could be a kinda cool 13. But would she have been my first choice? No.

Ugh. Debbie is just unpleasant to watch. She's entirely too impressed with herself, so maybe the editors are setting up a takedown, but I'm afraid it's just that they think she's entertaining. I knew Ozzy was gone as soon as he fell off that pole, but it's not as if he was gonna stick around for long. Sorry to see him go, but at the end he managed to remind me that he can be a douche sometimes, so I'll get over it. I love Michaela, but her lack of social game was making me cringe. I hope Cirie's mentoring helps her out. Kudos to Tai for hanging onto that pole for over an hour and a half. Best moment of the episode was when everyone was congratulating Andrea for winning the challenge and she started to explain that you have to hold the block in place really hard with your head - as if nobody else understood the intricate strategy involved in that challenge. But with this crowd, maybe they didn't.

Wow, that was a lot of ouch. Zeke might have been outed as trans, but Varner's outing as someone capable of being really crappy was probably more painful. Oddly prescient of the game-makers to have used the 'metamorphosis' for the word scramble, rather than the usual 'survivor-y' words. In other news, Tai's admission at the beginning of the ep that he's terrible at TC was funny - although I suppose he can take comfort in knowing he's not the WORST person at TC. Ozzy moving through the water is a thing of beauty.

Well, she was gracious in losing. I've said before that I find Sandra alternately annoying and entertaining, but I'm sorry to see her go. It feels like the end of an era, for some reason. Tai is baffling. Smart about finding idols (and credit to him for hiding the indicators of the second one at the well), but he's an idiot at TC. When Cochran's speedboat approached the Exile ship, did anyone else hope there was a pony on it?

I <3 Michaela. And WHO does JT think he is, complaining about anyone else's ratio of sugar to coffee, anyway? Glad he's gone. Nice dig by Michaela at the end, telling him to let Malcolm know it was JT who got him eliminated. It has gone from funny watching Debbie to a bit uncomfortable, like laughing at someone who may actually have mental issues.

Wow. And damn. This show still manages to deliver great TC's sometimes. But sorry, Malcolm. I was kinda hoping it would have been Sandra.

Sigh. TC is boring when you don't care which of these people goes home. Nobody on that tribe fazes me in any way. I ended up spending that time dreaming about my fantasy Survivor: ManBuns season. Caleb kissing Tai's head reminded me of Homer Simpson kissing Hans Moleman's head. I expected him to comment on how salty Tai tasted. Tai must be a lot tougher than I am, because I would not want to rub sand in my eyes like he did. I usually find Sandra alternately hilarious and insufferable, and this week she was completely insufferable. Sorry, but when you've been on multiple seasons of Survivor, I'm not going to sympathize with you being hungry enough to want someone to kill a mama or baby goat on your behalf. Wait for your turn to have an egg or else learn to fish. I wish that on an all-returnees season, they made things slightly tougher. Like, not having substantial rewards like tarps and pillows.

Well, gee. I didn't think I'd be too into this season, because I think some of these players have been in more episodes than Probst at this point. But here I am, hooked again. How the hell did Sandra pull that off, convincing everyone to vote for Tony? (And why did she have to vote for Aubry?)