CletusMusashi

Not Danaerys though. I picture it with Gilly.

Not at Jon's house they don't!

1. The first Littledick scene started to take me out of the episode, with his stupid Batman whisper and "look how sneaky I am" 'tude. But then I remembered something somebody told me earlier this week, and I just pretended that he wasn't supposed to be a genius supervillain, but that he was actually just more of a weird random troll like The Janitor on "Scrubs," and that actually made him kind of fun. But then the second scene with him was impossible not to enjoy, so I just sat back and watched the girls screw with him. 2. The.. whatever you call zombie dragons... Wight Wagon..? is even scarier than I expected. Yes, I think Tormind has the right idea. As King Arthur would say: "RUN AWAY!" 3. Why did they show so much of Jon's butt while hiding Dany? Boooooo! And he didn't even bend the knee for her. 4. Apparently the Unsullied didn't starve too badly. Perhaps Grey Worm taught them how to survive by eating cats. Hopefully he reminds Jon of that trick. 5. I liked Tyrion cutting off Urine Greyjoy to make fun of his comedic delivery. Even Theon got in on the snark. When even Reek is making fun of you, be very ashamed. And that goes double for you, Guy Who Got His Ass Kicked On The Beach. 6. Sam is so fun that he even makes scenes with Bran interesting. And Bran is named after Ned Stark's notoriously dull breakfast. 7. Yes, because it can not possibly be said enough times: just kill fucking Cersei already! You came to discuss a truce. She decided she didn't want a truce. Well then, okay, grant her wish and let the hostilities continue. Dracarys, bitch. You've only got like four people in the government anyway. Kill Cersei, Frankenmountain, Dr. Mountainstein, and probably Jaime, and that's it. Tell the castle staff what color drapes and carpeting you want, and go kill some zombies. I think for now I'll stop at seven. Seems an appropriate number.

When do they say he's 8000 years old?

They don't need to be able to swim in order to fasten chains. It's not like they're going to freeze or suffocate. They just might get stuck under water. And I don't really think the walkers controlling them care if they lose a few more human zombies in the process of gaining a dragon.

But did they swim back up? We saw them stop pursuit at Hardhome when the humans took to sea. granted, that could have been deliberate, because maybe the NK had some prophecy about The One Who Knows Nothing eventually leading a dragon into their clutches. But if we assume water isn't a barrier, then the wall quickly becomes much easier to get past, because they can just go into the ocean on either side and splash their way south. If we assume it is a barrier, then keeping all their zombie bears, wolves, mammoths, and spy-eagles a secret in order to gain a zombie ice-dragon maks a lot more sense.

If the zombie dragon has freeze breath, the undead infantry may have just gained the ability to march across rivers.

Yeah, but there've already ben at least two Daarios that we've seen. And that's just on Sundays. I personally can't help suspecting that, for all seven days, the line of guys who are Daario tends to be noticeably longer than the line of guys who are named Spartacus.

They could call it "One and Two Half Men."

Egads. I found a clip of what that sword was reminding me of, and it is every bit as stupid as I remembered. Be very afraid.

Big, strong, angry, blue-eyed... I think you might be on to something...

There are lots of Littlefingers. Dany met hers back in Season 2, locked him in a safe, and went the hell on with her life.

I've been assuming that Drogon is the male and the others are/were females. Three is still a pretty crappy gene pool to start out with, but two is even worse. And... shit. I just realized. Ghost is probably a zombie now, isn't he?

Dany would probably be a great influence on the Stark girls. Sansa would love her wardrobe, Arya would love her dragons, and they'd both love her making life miserable for Cersei.

Oh, god, no. I did not see the sword's eyes open. Is that a real thing that happened? Please don't let it be like when Tommy on The Power Rangers had that stupid talking tiger-head sword. Unless it's voiced by Gilbert Gottfried. Or maybe Lewis Black.

So how do those fire-swords work? At first I was thinking maybe there was some kind of tar or something in the fullers (those long indentations that a lot of people mistakenly call blood grooves,) but when we saw one extinguished only part of the blade was stuck into the snow. And there was kind of a clicking sound, too, not just to activate the spark but also to shut it off. So they contain some sort of gas, I take it. Who's in charge of refilling them, Hank Hill?

A thought about Arya: maybe she was only acting so crazy with Sansa so that Sansa would say something to Littledick, thereby getting him to reveal his next move sooner. Although... I'm still thinking Arya's a bit crazy. I don't think a strong ego is compatible with whatever it is that makes the Faceless thing work. She'll probably end up going back to the House of Black and White. Maybe not forever, but I think they do need to occasionally seclude themselves and be no one.

Yeah, and speaking of Crazy Town, why were there random wooden barrels outside the castle set on fire?

So if they can reanimate bears and dragons, I assume they can also do eagles and woolly mammoths. So where are all the nonhumanoid zombies? Are they keeping them hidden behind the regular wights, for maximum surprise value? Or was the Freeze Meister actually slowing their hand on purpose, to make sure he could maximize his chances of getting a dragon?

Where were they at the end? The stained glas windows looked too fancy to be Eastwatch. Did Dany fly Jon all the way down to Dragonstone? She probably could have, travel times being what they are nowadays... Jon Snow really does know nothing. He's a good fighter, but a horrible field commander. The only reason he's still alive is that, at the very last minute, some girl always comes up with enough reinforcements to rescue his macho ass. Arya's a little crazy. Can she just hurry up and kill Littlefinger?

I don't know. If three or four hundred prostitutes are calling you "LIttlefinger," there might be other reasons.

So the reason we haven't seen Euron is he had to stop somewhere and get more dilithium crystals?

Not much time left for random thoughts about this one. So, what's left? 1. I feel slightly cheated that we didn't see how The Houndketeeers actually got captured. Were they so distracted arguing about topknots that they got surounded by thirty spearmen? 'Cause.. I'm totally OK with that! I just wish we'd gotten to see it happen. 2. MVP of the week is Ser Davos. I mean, we kept on hearing that he was a great smuggler. But what the hell do most of us know about smuggling? I figured he was a really good sailor who could naviagte well at night and/or in difficult weather, and who knew enough other smugglers that he was aware of a lot ways to sneak a boat into unexpected places. And we also knew that he was a rational, charismatic, intelligent man who could handle talking to bureaucrats. But this week showed that the he's not a good smuggler and also a diplomat. He's a good smuggler because he's a diplomat. 3. What does Littlefinger even do? Is he just a wandering pimp who shows up at castles to randomly screw with people? Is there a Castle Baelish somewhere that he is supposed to be in charge of? Can Arya just kill him, take his face, and take over Castle Baelish?

Maybe the Children of the Sea, aka the whales, are trying to join the fight against the White Walkers, but whenever they send an ambassador to Dragonstone it gets eaten. Things will get even worse when the Chicken of the Sea tries to join as well, and meets The Hound.

The dragons are huge. If they were living on fish, they would have to spend most of their awake time fishing. yet all we see them do is fly around in cicles. I even toyed with the idea that all those rows of teeth they have work like baleen for straining plankton out of the water, but, again, it would require a lot of straining time each day. Two or three of them could kill and share a whale, but how long would a group of whales stay in one place if they were being attacked by dragons all the time? If just one time we saw a boat full of sheep or something arrive for their daily feeding it would go a long way toward explanation. Somebody I work with insists that the Dothraki must all be master hairdressers, so that's who's been attending to Dany and Missendei and possibly Jon. Hopefully when Ser Friendzone comes back he can get a makeover from them and finally close the deal. I don't think Dothraki are great tailors, though. The clothes are being bought or looted or collected as tribute. Cooking? I have no idea. Dothraki cuisine is pretty much nothing but horsemeat, and if Tyrion was in charge of food they'd be living on wine, more wine, and whatever the Westerosi equivalent is of cold Spaghetti-O's. Perhaps Missendei and Varys take turns. And miscellaneous cleanup is done by whoever Danaerys is angry at. Hopefully the dragons burn their own poop up after they use the little monster's room. And... thinking about that last topic... now I want to see someone try to use the scorpion, miss, and get buried under a giant dragon poop. Because I'm twelve.