CletusMusashi

But how do they know Rick forgot his shooting pants?

Lucille has a headache.

I think Gregory needs a few rounds of "Easy Street."

The previouslies actually made this show look exciting.

Chardonnay? Well, then, I hope you wore your Canadian shartin' pants...

The title sounds like Coral is going away to college. But "U" probably just stands for "urine pants."

Stop giving him ideas, dammit!

Another flaw to Archie's brilliant plan occurs to me. If there are two cars, maybe they can arrest you both for drag racing, and maybe in Riverdale that has a mandatory thirty day sentence or something, maybe. But if all they have is one car speeding... then wouldn't the driver just get a speeding ticket? That's... probably not enough to derail the entire business empire of jingle jangle.

The only reason I support Archie/Veronica is that she seems to keep his mind off of singing. I will support any pairing that does that.

So... what is a sugarman again? Is he the guy who actually makes jingle jangle? Because if he is, why have there been many sugarmen in the past, even though the actual product only recently manifested? And, also, if people from New York know what JJ is, maybe The Source of All Evil Drugs is not southern Riverdale. If a sugarman is just a guy who picks up the latest shipment from Des Moines, then that's probably a commom nickname. And perhaps the street dealers need to stop shitting their pants and running away in a ridiculously guilty fashion every time they encounter somebody who can occasionally employ a streetwise slang term. Honestly, I'm not even sure why I'm supposed to care so much about jangle. I mean, I assume there are still kids doing crack and crank and coke and smack and X (Yes, I include XTC as a Really Bad Drug, but really only because of how fucking annoying it makes people who are on it,) but I haven't actually seen anything to make me think J is The New Bad Thing. We've seen people use it, but they don't seem to be addicted. Veronica was high, but she was still pretty much in control of herself, as Nick learned to his dismay. And as far as ODs... last time I checked, the leading cause of death in Riverdale wasn't even drugs at all. It was murder. I actually do like this weird crazy mutant show. but what it's good at is the surprising character turns. I'm not entirely impressed with whatever passes for the infrastructure behind all that. And, hell, maybe that's how it's intended to be. Maybe the setting isn't supposed to make sense. Maybe the foreground is supposed to be "Veronica Mars" but the background is more like "Axe Cop." I'm OK with that. But I'm not sure the writers are. Sometimes if the writing makes no sense, it's because batshit insane writers are capable of some brilliantly trangressive shit. But usually it just means they were sloppy.

So... why was Archie in the car again? How did the one on one car race become: "Oh, and we're also bringing the north side vigilante with us, even though he's not even a gang member?" Shouldn't somebody somewhere have not been cool with that?

Best review yet.

Points to Cisco for making a Rick and Morty reference.

I think the writers wanted to just fast-forward their way past all the breakup angst, so they basically said "Fuck it, let's do a show where they're crime fighting teenagers." And... I'm OK with that. it was actually a little better than most regular episodes.

I don't suppose there was a dumpster nearby, was there? Wait, scratch that idea. I don't want to hear a CGI tiger saying "Hungry. Roar now."

Yes, but we're still supposed to be fine with the idea that Rick was over it a few minutes after Dumpster Diva shot him.

Yeah, but no actual cat would just lie still like that. Even if Shiva was declawed, the force of her hind leg kicks would be throwing many a zombie off. The thing that (AGAIN!) kills the pathos for me is that basically her entire death is just Kirkman walking onto the set with a megaphone yelling "Tiger! Die!"

I think the reason they didn't bother trying to disguise the group with walker guts is that even a bunch of zombies would probably figure out that anyone who talks as much as Ezekiel is probably human.

First Glenn, now Shiva. This ZA is getting rough on Asians.

You and I are always quite similar in our views on Richonne. However, there is a difference between a Michonne story and a Carol story. Michonne is never perceived as harmless, regardless of how tiny or hot she is, so she alternates between lurking around like a ninja and kicking ass headon like an action hero. Carol, on the other hand, reminds most of the Saviors of their mothers and aunts who died five minutes into the ZA, so she can play helpless and scared and turn their expectations on them. This week was very much a Carol story. If anybody is taking up Michonne's "strong, silent, deadly warrior, and dedicated protector of Rick," trademark, it's Daryl. And won't that be a fun bedroom scene for Michonne to come home to when she gets back from the movie set?

if Michonne was here, no way would she have allowed a big fuzzy kittycat to take the bullet for everybody.

Honestly, I've just been assuming that for the last three episodes or whatever it's been that Negan is stil just standing there laughing his ass off about the shitting pants. I was kind of hoping that would keep him distracted until his entire empire crumbled. But, apparently, next week

Why was Polyanna in the credits? Were they trolling us?

You used to have a pet tiger. Now you're just some guy.

Too bad there wasn't time for Jerry to say "I hope you're wearing your splitting pants."