Razzberry

Although Leofric falls in battle, the Danes are roundly defeated, and Skorpa's taunt backfires badly. Guthrum develops a man-crush on Alfred, agrees to be baptized, and never again encroaches on his territory. I'll miss seeing Guthrum, a great character. Hild and Halig agree to accompany Uhtred to Northumbria to settle a bloodfeud with his uncle and regain his birthright, Uhtred of Bebbanburg. Now, I wish Netflix would announce a date for series 2 in US!

Thanks for your encouragement guys. I figured it helps to pass the time while waiting for season 2. Alfred gives an amazing, rousing speech to get the troops pumped up, and for the first time the Danes look a little less confident. As I recall it went something like this:

The water is usually cold year round, in the 50's. You need a wetsuit to spend much time in it, so whenever they showed Jane walking into the water I shivered. The weather is a bit cool, and foggy in the summer.

Alfred shows up at Odda's, exposing him as a liar and traitor. On the way out they meet up with Skorpa and exchange the usual pre-battle trash-talk.

Iseult cures baby Edward with some kind of magic mud bath? I don't know, I don't pay much attention to that part of the story to be honest. When the time is right they hit the road with Alfred disguised in a hoodie. Along the way they hear Odda Jr. has brokered a peace with Skorpa (like that's gonna last) so make their way to Odda's estate in Exeter to see what's up. But first they swing by Uhtred's farm to find everyone dead or gone. Shortly after this Iseult decides to give it up to Uhtred, which apparently puts the kabosh on her Seer abilities. I don't really get the connection, but whatever.

Perfect description. It will take me a while to exorcise Perry from my mind. I hope his next big role is of a decent man.

Meanwhile back at the swamp Alfred wages guerrilla warfare on Guthrum, but comes to realize a lasting peace can only be achieved by one big-ass battle. He actually succeeds in getting men of Wessex to sign up for it, and quietly gathers his forces. On top of all this, his wife is crying, his baby is dying, and Alfred isn't feeling that great himself.

When he isn't splitting skulls with his dane-axe Guthrum explores Alfred's library of "words with no sound", and toys with Aethelwold. Surprisingly, he allows a priest to flee after only slicing off a hand.

No, that's just the only screenshot I had of her this episode. If there were other mentions of AI I completely missed it.

Lady Gaga for potus

I'd be more willing to buy into Abby's alleged social activism as motivator if I'd seen one iota of it before this stunt. I even went back and searched her bedroom posters - nada. I tend to think she's a bit lazy and doing it for attention.

When Alfred hears about Uhtred's stunt he is livid. Naturally Uhred makes matters worse by bringing his "Queen", or as Alfred calls her "plunder", to Winchester. When Uhtred refuses to return her, he's sentenced to death. The BFF Death Match gets a bigger turnout than expected when Guthrum shows up and sacks the town. Running for their lives, it's decided the King will be safe holed up in a nearby swamp, for now.

I think the therapy has been greatly accelerated for the audience's benefit rather than trying to be realistic. I can't imagine listening to Celeste gassing on endlessly in her denial of the situation. An abuser named Perry the Prick had a wife take a swing at his dick Now the ball's in his court should he file a report Celeste could go down like a brick

Their adventure in Cornwalum ends in the usual way, with a lot of double-crossing, bloodshed, and a dead King. Uhtred leaves with some silver, his very own seer Queen, and a boner.

Thanks for your kind words, DHDancer! I wanted to do it all in one go, but I'm limited to less than 245kb per day, apparently. The Danes lose that battle, but unfortunately for Uhtred his rival Odda the Younger has run back to Alfred taking the credit for slaying Ubba. You don't correct the King, so enraged and broke, Uhtred and Leofric come up with a plan of disguising themselves as Danes to raid the countryside of Cornwalum. It's not a good plan since real Danes have already thought of it, but local King Peredur hires them as protection from Skorpa, a Danish warlord and one scary looking dude.

Sounds like Uhtred is still quite the hothead!

After the usual trash talking, the Saxons take the high ground where Uhtred comes up with a brilliant plan of setting the their boats on fire with pig fat. Ubba is in the middle of a 3-way when his bone-thrower Storri interrupts with the bad news. Ubba is annoyed, to say the least, and goes beserker. Uhtred has been warned never to fight Ubba, but he has little choice now. Ubba should have been warned to never fight without shoes.

Alfred rounds up a show of force and serves Guthrum with a 30 day eviction notice. In a brilliant move he also leaves him 10 hostages, including Uhtred and his most persuasive priest. He senses a modicum of curiosity in Guthrum, and suggests his priest use the time working on a possible conversion. All too soon Ubba is back and the war is on again. The hostages are killed, but Uhtred escapes with the help of Ragnar Jr.

Seeing Martha in the middle of this really deepened my growing disdain of P & E, but there were comedic moments. The problem is I don't think they're meant to be funny. "Aren't we going to stop the grain shipments?" "We don't know what we're talking about yet." "We told Paige a little about what we're doing here." "And how did that go?" "Looks like she's re-thinking a lot of things, including us." "Why can't we grow enough grain ourselves?" "Everybody has problems." OMG. And they say Martha is dumb.

What a teaser! At least we know she's alive, but I'd love to see more of her.

"Joseph doesn't pose a threat to anything but good taste and actual, quality theatre." I wanna meet the author at the Blue Blue but I'm afraid spraying latte would cause a scene.

Word on the street is Ubba's in Ireland raising hell for the death of his brother Ivar the Boneless, but Guthrum's gang has taken a castle in Wareham. This will not stand with Alfred, who really is kinda Great, even then. He finds Uhtred useful but still doesn't trust him completely, probably because he won't take off that bloody animal fur vest.

Mildrith turns out to be a stunner. Uhtred is very pleased but still has a few brain cells firing. She confesses an inherited debt, which Uhtred is now responsible for, but he gets over it. Several months later as she's about to give birth they spot a large Danish army encroaching in Wessex and ride out to Winchester to warn King Alfred.

Marriage to a Saxon is a necessary step to becoming an Elderman, so Alfred sets up a wedding for Ultred, sight unseen, like a blind date from hell X100. Uhtred prepares by bathing, which I for one appreciate, and ponders the wisdom of buying a pig in a poke. Brida catches the next longboat out of there.

From Uhtred Alfred learns how Danes think, their strengths and weaknesses, and how they fight. When Ubba and Guthrum actually show up at the peace talks expecting to con yet another King, Alfred's a tougher nut to crack. He offers grain and silver, but says no way in hell they'll be taking Wessex, and, by the way, this conversation is being recorded.