ragingpixie

Does Robyn not understand the words she, herself, says? She can miss me with the whole tearful "I watched the family go blahhhh and disintegrate" nonsense. Bitch, go sit down. You fiddled while Rome burned.

Kody: WELP I hate to say it, but the reason I was not invited to Christine's wedding is simply because I would out-dance the groom. I hate thinking about the family moshing without ME, the inventor of mosh, but fax are fax. I would definitely be the center of attention with my dancing. Ladies and gentlemen, Kody Brown. Missing the point since the early 2000's.

What Robyn doesn't realize is that a "guarantee" that another marriage wouldn't fail is completely up to Kody. (And herself as well, but I put the responsibility for maintaining an effective plural marriage mostly on the husband.) KODY is responsible for all of these marriages disintegrating. KODY is the reason that Robyn could manipulate him so easily into ditching his other wives. Any guarantee she is searching for would be his job to maintain. He just doesn't have the moral fortitude to do it.

I've been wavering a little, but this episode put me firmly in the camp of those who think Meri still harbors feelings for Kody (and probably Robyn), at least at the time of this filming. I did follow her on IG for a bit but have since unfollowed her due to the insipid hashtags and filters. Of course it's possible that time has lessened her feelings, but this season's episodes don't convince me that she's "over him." Maybe it's the hysterical laughter over the lamest innuendos. Maybe it's the constant wearing of shirts with "witty" sayings. Maybe it's the things she says or does in the company of friends that I have sincere doubts she'd do alone. (I honestly don't see her destroying that metal sign without urging from production.) I truly think she was hoping for a last minute declaration of love from Kody when she texted him about the spiritual release. She appears rightly indignant over the way she's been treated, but she hasn't done a good job of convincing me that finally leaving the marriage was because she woke up. It was because there was, quite literally, absolutely nothing else to do.

Andreah. Hilaree. Destrie. Utah, just stop. Also, AndreAH, it does Meri no favors to tell her in the same breath that Kody doesn't want anyone else but Robyn.... BUT he's going to regret what he lost and end up missing Meri. The former is true. The latter is definitely not.

Kody: It's too bad my family doesn't like Robyn. Otherwise I would be at every single function, including Christine's wedding and maybe even the honeymoon, and I would happily clear the snow from the driveway of my most hated wife who is now my best friend. But my real wife is too pretty and shy to leave home alone. Janelle: My jackball of an ex-husband has been excommunicated from this family and is not welcome within 30 miles of any of us, Robyn or no Robyn. There are no punches being pulled this season, and I am here. for. it.

Meri said she wasn't going to walk into the party behind Kody. She was taking ownership of being a single person and not go "putzing" behind Kody and Robyn. Like the past 72354985 years she's spent doing just that. Meri, I support your newly found singledom, but I can't listen to your She-Ra cries of woman power after I've watched you prostrate yourself at the feet of Skeletor for the last 97 seasons.

Kody: "Here we are with my shy wife. My pretty, shy wife. My wife who is shy. And pretty. But shy, very shy. So pretty, though." Sure, Jan.

Is Christine bordering on insufferable? Spoiler: yes. Is she like that kind of weird, socially awkward girl you knew in high school who finally found a boyfriend and then spent all her time making out with him during passing period? Spoiler: also yes. BUT. Every time Kody "I got kicked out of my own club and by the way does anyone have a spare kidney" Brown opens his mouth to tell us just how much he doesn't care about Christine (a lie), how much he's NEVER cared about Christine (also probably a lie), how completely unattracted he is to her (except for the 6 times he put a baby in her), and how he wanted her to go find her soulmate the day after she left him (absolutely, definitely a lie)... I find myself having just a smidge more patience for Celia and her Googly Bear.

Before this episode, I was merely flabbergasted. After this episode, I am gobsmacked.

THIS. The first thought I had upon viewing this charade was "omg who sits around in jeans where are your leggings for god's sake also I hate all of you people."

1. Christine's girls all have hair I would sell a child for. 2. Is Robyn.... intellectually disabled in some way? In the school system, when giving an IQ test to a child who could possibly qualify for special education services, a score between 80-89 is considered low average and often referred to as the "shady 80s". This means that it is more difficult to assess whether the child has an actual learning discrepancy or is just... not smart. Robyn is shady 80s all the way home.

One of the things that makes Kody simply insufferable at this point is his legitimate belief that he's been wronged. He is absolutely convinced of his own suffering. Nothing that any TV host, wife, or the general public says will change his mind. His love for Robyn has blinded him to his own assholery. Robyn, on the other hand, despite having a low IQ and no common sense (and I do truly believe she's simply not very bright), is sensing the idiocy coming from the man-child she married. Hence her insistence that she "speaks Kody". All that means is that she stops him from saying what he really feels, and tries to twist his narrative into something more favorable. If even ROBYN knows that Kody is spewing bullshit, then there's no hope for him left. Except he will never realize it.

I need to see this text thread. NEED.

It was actually an interesting scene to watch because Robyn has played this card SO MANY times previously. I remember vaguely a scene that came right after their move to Flagstaff - they were all in a restaurant discussing how the fambly felt different now that they weren't within Kodyrunning distance in the cuddlesac. For whatever reason - I can't remember now because bitch drycries if someone spells her name wrong - Robyn began her hysterics and said "is this because of me 😭😭😭" and JANELLE of all people rushed around the table to hug her. Janelle has very clearly wised up since then. So Robyn's default is to immediately start the waterworks because she's been taught in the past that this is the way to garner sympathy and/or attention. This is the first time on camera (that I can recall) that her two biggest supporters actively ignored her, with Meri earlier even going so far as to tell her to shut it. Oh how the mighty have fallen. IT IS GLORIOUS.