jjane

I know who you are talking about.

Ok, this will be my last post on the matter. Most of the people who have responded here have had good points to make and thankfully most have been supportive. However, I feel like I have gone from just trying to give an update on the situation and possibly get a little support in a place that I have found to be a safe place to talk about this to defending myself for posting. This may not be the place to talk about this in one person's view, but a lot of other people have posted here about similar life problems, and I have posted here before about it. My main point in my last few posts has been that there are a couple of people here who are determined to prove me a liar. I am not looking for a therapist. I have posted here before about this and gotten a lot of support. I have also offered support to others on this board on this and other threads. I did not just appear a few days ago. I have been a part if this since the beginning, even if I did more lurking than posting. Small talk has always been a free form place where any topic was welcome and yes, some people do use it mostly to vent. I don't but I don't care if others do. What I don't do is accuse people of lying or denigrate them. This is what I am objecting to. As far as the long posts, I have read many long posts. I have also skipped over them. No one has to read my posts. When I post something long it is because I am trying to give information in context and I do not assume everyone remembers everything I have ever posted. Please feel free to put me on ignore if you don't want to read my posts.

I agree that no one here is under an obligation to agree with or believe anyone. I simply don't believe it is the business of anyone here to decide who is lying and who is not. As I said, doubt all you want, but don't accuse people of lying when you are not in any position to know what is going on.

It is not wrong to question what one hears or reads. It is hurtful to see a situation that is literally dangerous to an innocent child questioned. This situation is one I have talked about on here for a very long time. None of it is fiction. All of it is horrifying to be in the middle of and to watch. There are a couple of people on this board who seem to be determined to "prove" that I am lying. It has been done to others here as well. One of them has literally accused me of writing things that I never wrote. At one time I thought one or both of them was my niece because of the way some of the posts were written. Having been on the receiving end of evil acts is something not everyone has experienced. As a therapist you should know that victim's stories are not always linear and that one can remember things much later that one had blocked out in self-defense. I know the truth and I know that I am not the only one who thinks my niece will eventually kill her daughter if the daughter does not succeed in killing herself first. The therapist I took the daughter to expressed just that thought to me and she put it in her complaint to DCFS, which ignored it along with all the other reports of abuse. It is one thing to advise giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. It is quite another to excuse writing hurtful things to someone in the middle of a horrible situation. Doubt all you want, but don't try to hurt people.

I remember Razing Ruth. I was on the verge of sending her some money when she was exposed. Looking back, there were signs that she was lying but she was very convincing at first. She is one reason I don't post that much. As Zoomama said, some of us have things going on in our lives that are so bizarre that it would seem they can't possibly be true, but sadly they are. The world is full of grifting, lying, abusive people who cause tremendous problems for their victims and create havoc wherever they go. All we, as their victims, can do is fight wherever possible and try to get innocent people out of their path. I pray every night for the innocent child caught up in the evil that is her mother.

@zoomama, thank you. Janet

Dear @Mindthinkr, this is such a lovely post. You are right about the difference in laws. It isvery difficult to do this long distance. Yeah, I'm so sorry your brother was forced to eat gumbo (also sarcasm). I hope he ate plenty of pralines too. I actually make a pretty mean gumbo and I'm incredibly good at buying pralines. There is a place in the French Quarter where they make the pralines in the store and you can get them as soon as they are cool. They also have a place where they make fudge. Covid has kept me away from New Orleans and I hate it. I have started to get offers from my favorite hotel but with the variant I am still not comfortable with the idea. The mayor just reinstituted the mask mandate, which will be a shame for the small business owners who have just started to open up again. My mother went to nursing school in New Orleans in the Army Nurse Corp during World War II, so I come by my New Orleans love honestly. Everything you said applies. Unfortunately, the child has a year and a half until she is 18. Yes, we do have an alarm system and I am glad my nephew, who is the brother or my niece, is living with us right now. He despises her and would definitely do his best to protect us. I have talked with a therapist in the past and it helped. At this time, I am hesitant to have visits to a therapist on my record. My niece is a great believer in making a case against anyone who goes against her. Usually the "case" is fantasy concocted by my niece but she already tells everyone I am psychotic and refuse to take my meds. Not true, of course, but she is very good at forgery. Everyone who knows about the situation has expressed concern about the child. The therapist I talked to also met with the child twice and made a complaint to DCFS saying she feared the child would either succeed in killing herself or be killed by her mother. We already know that was ignored, along with all the other complaints of abuse. As far as taking care of myself, you are absolutely right. I'm sure you also know how hard it is to think of yourself with all this other stuff in your head. I tell myself to relax, sit, put it out of my mind. My husband tells me to try to relax and encourages me to do things for myself and I know I should. It's just hard to do. Anyway, I can't begin to tell you what your thoughtful post did for me. It's a lovely start to my day. Thank you so much. Sending you a giant hug and tons of love. Janet.

@Mindthinkr, thank you so much. You are so right about the way I feel most days. I am exhausted, and I am dealing with a couple of major health issues on top of my fibromyalgia and migraines. Some days I feel like just giving up. I get botox every three months for the migraines. The pain from the fibro is never ending. I am trying to get into a study for one of the other issues but it is in a neighboring state so the travel is challenging. Tonight I went to bed with five lidocaine patches on because I literally was in so much pain just walking was painful. I have to sleep in a recliner because I can't move if I try to sleep in a bed. I've had a horrible cold for over a month that seems to come and go, although the cough is never ending and I am wearing the adult equivalent of a diaper because I pee on myself every time I cough. And no, it is not Covid. I've been fully vaccinated for months. When I am this worn down something llike a cold will knock me down for weeks. This is literally the only place I feel comfortable talking about the situation because it feels like a safe space. I can see why people give up and the only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that there is a child out there who is convinced that I will find a way to get her to safety. I am dealing with a mentally ill person who lives in her own delusional world where she is the best, smartest and deserving of devotion from everyone she comes in contact with. If you don't show her the proper amount of respect she will go into a rage and become abusive, to her child or anyone else who is in her path. I have been the recepient of this when I tried to intervene on behalf of the child. She has tried to cause problems for me professionally. This restraining order could cause me to lose my Notary Public Commision because I am an officer of the Court in Louisiana. She is not playing around here and I am always waiting for something else to come up that I will have to fight. Frankly, if anyone feels better doubting me or questioning something that is going on, that is not my problem. I am drowning here and doing all I can to deal with this. It's five thirty two in the morning and I have not slept at all. I go without sleep until my body just gives up and I crash. If you are still here, thanks for reading. I have to go now. Thanks and love, Janet.

As far as being duped by people on this forum, I admit that I have been fooled by a couple of people who were outed by others but I don't see the need to be mean or aggressive if you doubt something. Simply put that person on ignore. Some of us are in situations that cause major stress, I wonder every day if this abused child has attempted suicide again or has been put into yet another mental facility for "observation" based on a bogus report from her mother. Yes, this has actually happened. I have literally been told if I did not take the child in years past that she would do just that because she had plans. Believe it or not, there are horrible parents out there who are able to pull the wool over the eyes of DCFS. Then there is the fact that they are inclined not to believe a child who has been in multiple facilities. This child has told me no one believes anything she says becasue they see her as the crazy girl. While you are doubting my story I am calling the police to do a welfare check, calling attorneys to try to get her to safety, fighting a restraining order that will mean I cannot even talk to the child if she calls me again for help. Occasionally I come to this board to update the people who care and to get a little support.

To@EVS, first I hope your cancer journey ends up as a successful one. I have not had to deal with it personally but my husband is a two time survivor and I know it can be done. I hope you have people around you to love and support you. Having people who believe in your strenght can often transmit theirs to you. I will add you to my prayers from now on. As to my situation, you are right. Some people on here seem to look for reasons to doubt the experiences of others. Believe me, I would prefer not to have to put up with this and I know you would prefer to be cancer free and able to just wake up every day and have the freedom to do what makes you happy without a cloud hanging over you. All we can do is support each other and I am definitely in your corner. Huge internet hugs and much love to you. Janet

I did not get professional courtesy on the fees. I either took advantage of free telephone consults, which a surprising number of attorneys will do, or I paid for the consults. Professional courtesy was never requested. I talked to multiole attorneys about the case because of the complexity of the case and you can never know if a chosen attorney is appropriate for your case unless you talk to them. I'm not sure why there seems to be hostility coming my way. I was simply updating the situation for the people who have offered me support and encouragement about this matter. I wouldn't dream of replying the way a couple of people have, nor do I understand why people are loving the hostile responses. I will withdraw for now. For those of you who have been concerned about the fact that the underlying issue here is the safety of an abused child who finally, after almost a year, found the courage and the means to get in touch with me and ask for help, I know you are there. I am sure that she was beaten black and blue when her mother found out and this attempt to get a permanent restraining order is one more way to make sure there is nothing I can do if she should reach out to me for help again. For those of you who have offered love and support along the way, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and please know that I am here reading and silently sending you love and support back. This was an attempt on my part to update you, nothing else. Much love, Janet

Not here to argue, this situation is stressful enough. When asked, several attorneys did tell me that they would not be able to represent my niece due to having been told certain details about the situation by myself. These details would have possibly given my niece a heads up about our intentions with the custody case and also could have given her an advantage. As a paralegal, this is what we always go by at the firm I work for. We prefer to err on the side of caution.

Hi guys, I've just been lurking lately because of the situation with the niece. The latest is that I got a continuance of the hearing for the permanent restraining order by preparing and filing it myself. A couple of days ago I got notice that the niece had aked for a three month continuance because she had an out of state court date on the new date. It makes me wonder if the out of state court date has anything to do with the fact that the original place she landed, Oregon, is the place where she moved in with some random person and them got thrown out. On the other hand, it could have something to do with one of the jobs she was fired from. Of course, it could also be because she will be on the vacation my great niece said she wanted to take. Maybe she will use some of the thirty thousand dollars in cash she had in Colorado. She did not get the three months but I now have until August 12th to figure out what to do. In the request for the three month continuance she said she also needed the time to find an attorney to subpoena people from Louisiana. This tells us she doesn't already have an attorney and somehow got the temorary restraining order simply by going to the clerk of court and getting it issued based on whatever lies she could come up with. Apparently the temporary restraining order is just issued automatically and the hearing is where evidence is presented. Asking for a three month continuance keeps the restraining order in place without proving anything. It gives her the means to mess with us without proving we have done anything. My sister doesn't have any more money to pay for a lawyer for her and she isn't going to use her cash for this. Theoretically she can keep getting continuances without ever proving anything. She's not nearly as smart as she thinks she is and this gives me more time. I have already talked to most of the family lawyers in the area about the situation so they can't represent her because it would be a conflict of interest on their part. Hopefully this will cause her enough problems that she will drop the matter. If not, I have some weapons to use involving information about some things she has done that could result major legal problems for her. This has turned into such a shitshow that I have trouble believing it is actually happening. I have been advised to ask the local police to do extra patrols of my home on the date she refused because the fact that she said she had an out of state court date may mean there is something going on in Louisiana and she could turn up there. I walk aroung worrying if I will suddenly see a crazy armed woman in front of me. Everyday I check our cars to see if she may have come in the night and caused damage. And, of course, my main concern is the safety of my great niece. It worries me every minute of every day. Hugs and love, Janet

I have already blocked my niece from my phone. The problem is she sent the death threat via her daughter's school computer so I answered.i have no desire to see my niece again but I think her daughter deserves a better life.

As far as the temporary order, we received it on the 21st, so a week ago today, at around 8 at night, so well after hours for attorneys. From the front of the document it seems to have been signed on the 16th, so it took five days for them to get it to me. Tuesday morning I called my attorney here and he looked it over and said I should have been served with a petition first, which did not happen. He advised me to talk to a local attorney there. I literally left messages with every family law attorney in Fort Collins with no result so I had to file a motion for continuance as a person without attorney. Like I said, it's just another step in her stated intention to destroy me. I'm not the first. My real concern is that I won't be able to help this child if she calls me again and asks for it. Thanks to everyone for the support. It means a lot. Janet