jjane

I know who you are talking about.

Ok, this will be my last post on the matter. Most of the people who have responded here have had good points to make and thankfully most have been supportive. However, I feel like I have gone from just trying to give an update on the situation and possibly get a little support in a place that I have found to be a safe place to talk about this to defending myself for posting. This may not be the place to talk about this in one person's view, but a lot of other people have posted here about similar life problems, and I have posted here before about it. My main point in my last few posts has been that there are a couple of people here who are determined to prove me a liar. I am not looking for a therapist. I have posted here before about this and gotten a lot of support. I have also offered support to others on this board on this and other threads. I did not just appear a few days ago. I have been a part if this since the beginning, even if I did more lurking than posting. Small talk has always been a free form place where any topic was welcome and yes, some people do use it mostly to vent. I don't but I don't care if others do. What I don't do is accuse people of lying or denigrate them. This is what I am objecting to. As far as the long posts, I have read many long posts. I have also skipped over them. No one has to read my posts. When I post something long it is because I am trying to give information in context and I do not assume everyone remembers everything I have ever posted. Please feel free to put me on ignore if you don't want to read my posts.

I agree that no one here is under an obligation to agree with or believe anyone. I simply don't believe it is the business of anyone here to decide who is lying and who is not. As I said, doubt all you want, but don't accuse people of lying when you are not in any position to know what is going on.

It is not wrong to question what one hears or reads. It is hurtful to see a situation that is literally dangerous to an innocent child questioned. This situation is one I have talked about on here for a very long time. None of it is fiction. All of it is horrifying to be in the middle of and to watch. There are a couple of people on this board who seem to be determined to "prove" that I am lying. It has been done to others here as well. One of them has literally accused me of writing things that I never wrote. At one time I thought one or both of them was my niece because of the way some of the posts were written. Having been on the receiving end of evil acts is something not everyone has experienced. As a therapist you should know that victim's stories are not always linear and that one can remember things much later that one had blocked out in self-defense. I know the truth and I know that I am not the only one who thinks my niece will eventually kill her daughter if the daughter does not succeed in killing herself first. The therapist I took the daughter to expressed just that thought to me and she put it in her complaint to DCFS, which ignored it along with all the other reports of abuse. It is one thing to advise giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. It is quite another to excuse writing hurtful things to someone in the middle of a horrible situation. Doubt all you want, but don't try to hurt people.

I remember Razing Ruth. I was on the verge of sending her some money when she was exposed. Looking back, there were signs that she was lying but she was very convincing at first. She is one reason I don't post that much. As Zoomama said, some of us have things going on in our lives that are so bizarre that it would seem they can't possibly be true, but sadly they are. The world is full of grifting, lying, abusive people who cause tremendous problems for their victims and create havoc wherever they go. All we, as their victims, can do is fight wherever possible and try to get innocent people out of their path. I pray every night for the innocent child caught up in the evil that is her mother.

@zoomama, thank you. Janet

Dear @Mindthinkr, this is such a lovely post. You are right about the difference in laws. It isvery difficult to do this long distance. Yeah, I'm so sorry your brother was forced to eat gumbo (also sarcasm). I hope he ate plenty of pralines too. I actually make a pretty mean gumbo and I'm incredibly good at buying pralines. There is a place in the French Quarter where they make the pralines in the store and you can get them as soon as they are cool. They also have a place where they make fudge. Covid has kept me away from New Orleans and I hate it. I have started to get offers from my favorite hotel but with the variant I am still not comfortable with the idea. The mayor just reinstituted the mask mandate, which will be a shame for the small business owners who have just started to open up again. My mother went to nursing school in New Orleans in the Army Nurse Corp during World War II, so I come by my New Orleans love honestly. Everything you said applies. Unfortunately, the child has a year and a half until she is 18. Yes, we do have an alarm system and I am glad my nephew, who is the brother or my niece, is living with us right now. He despises her and would definitely do his best to protect us. I have talked with a therapist in the past and it helped. At this time, I am hesitant to have visits to a therapist on my record. My niece is a great believer in making a case against anyone who goes against her. Usually the "case" is fantasy concocted by my niece but she already tells everyone I am psychotic and refuse to take my meds. Not true, of course, but she is very good at forgery. Everyone who knows about the situation has expressed concern about the child. The therapist I talked to also met with the child twice and made a complaint to DCFS saying she feared the child would either succeed in killing herself or be killed by her mother. We already know that was ignored, along with all the other complaints of abuse. As far as taking care of myself, you are absolutely right. I'm sure you also know how hard it is to think of yourself with all this other stuff in your head. I tell myself to relax, sit, put it out of my mind. My husband tells me to try to relax and encourages me to do things for myself and I know I should. It's just hard to do. Anyway, I can't begin to tell you what your thoughtful post did for me. It's a lovely start to my day. Thank you so much. Sending you a giant hug and tons of love. Janet.

@Mindthinkr, thank you so much. You are so right about the way I feel most days. I am exhausted, and I am dealing with a couple of major health issues on top of my fibromyalgia and migraines. Some days I feel like just giving up. I get botox every three months for the migraines. The pain from the fibro is never ending. I am trying to get into a study for one of the other issues but it is in a neighboring state so the travel is challenging. Tonight I went to bed with five lidocaine patches on because I literally was in so much pain just walking was painful. I have to sleep in a recliner because I can't move if I try to sleep in a bed. I've had a horrible cold for over a month that seems to come and go, although the cough is never ending and I am wearing the adult equivalent of a diaper because I pee on myself every time I cough. And no, it is not Covid. I've been fully vaccinated for months. When I am this worn down something llike a cold will knock me down for weeks. This is literally the only place I feel comfortable talking about the situation because it feels like a safe space. I can see why people give up and the only thing that keeps me going is the knowledge that there is a child out there who is convinced that I will find a way to get her to safety. I am dealing with a mentally ill person who lives in her own delusional world where she is the best, smartest and deserving of devotion from everyone she comes in contact with. If you don't show her the proper amount of respect she will go into a rage and become abusive, to her child or anyone else who is in her path. I have been the recepient of this when I tried to intervene on behalf of the child. She has tried to cause problems for me professionally. This restraining order could cause me to lose my Notary Public Commision because I am an officer of the Court in Louisiana. She is not playing around here and I am always waiting for something else to come up that I will have to fight. Frankly, if anyone feels better doubting me or questioning something that is going on, that is not my problem. I am drowning here and doing all I can to deal with this. It's five thirty two in the morning and I have not slept at all. I go without sleep until my body just gives up and I crash. If you are still here, thanks for reading. I have to go now. Thanks and love, Janet.

As far as being duped by people on this forum, I admit that I have been fooled by a couple of people who were outed by others but I don't see the need to be mean or aggressive if you doubt something. Simply put that person on ignore. Some of us are in situations that cause major stress, I wonder every day if this abused child has attempted suicide again or has been put into yet another mental facility for "observation" based on a bogus report from her mother. Yes, this has actually happened. I have literally been told if I did not take the child in years past that she would do just that because she had plans. Believe it or not, there are horrible parents out there who are able to pull the wool over the eyes of DCFS. Then there is the fact that they are inclined not to believe a child who has been in multiple facilities. This child has told me no one believes anything she says becasue they see her as the crazy girl. While you are doubting my story I am calling the police to do a welfare check, calling attorneys to try to get her to safety, fighting a restraining order that will mean I cannot even talk to the child if she calls me again for help. Occasionally I come to this board to update the people who care and to get a little support.

To@EVS, first I hope your cancer journey ends up as a successful one. I have not had to deal with it personally but my husband is a two time survivor and I know it can be done. I hope you have people around you to love and support you. Having people who believe in your strenght can often transmit theirs to you. I will add you to my prayers from now on. As to my situation, you are right. Some people on here seem to look for reasons to doubt the experiences of others. Believe me, I would prefer not to have to put up with this and I know you would prefer to be cancer free and able to just wake up every day and have the freedom to do what makes you happy without a cloud hanging over you. All we can do is support each other and I am definitely in your corner. Huge internet hugs and much love to you. Janet

I did not get professional courtesy on the fees. I either took advantage of free telephone consults, which a surprising number of attorneys will do, or I paid for the consults. Professional courtesy was never requested. I talked to multiole attorneys about the case because of the complexity of the case and you can never know if a chosen attorney is appropriate for your case unless you talk to them. I'm not sure why there seems to be hostility coming my way. I was simply updating the situation for the people who have offered me support and encouragement about this matter. I wouldn't dream of replying the way a couple of people have, nor do I understand why people are loving the hostile responses. I will withdraw for now. For those of you who have been concerned about the fact that the underlying issue here is the safety of an abused child who finally, after almost a year, found the courage and the means to get in touch with me and ask for help, I know you are there. I am sure that she was beaten black and blue when her mother found out and this attempt to get a permanent restraining order is one more way to make sure there is nothing I can do if she should reach out to me for help again. For those of you who have offered love and support along the way, I thank you from the bottom of my heart and please know that I am here reading and silently sending you love and support back. This was an attempt on my part to update you, nothing else. Much love, Janet

Not here to argue, this situation is stressful enough. When asked, several attorneys did tell me that they would not be able to represent my niece due to having been told certain details about the situation by myself. These details would have possibly given my niece a heads up about our intentions with the custody case and also could have given her an advantage. As a paralegal, this is what we always go by at the firm I work for. We prefer to err on the side of caution.

Hi guys, I've just been lurking lately because of the situation with the niece. The latest is that I got a continuance of the hearing for the permanent restraining order by preparing and filing it myself. A couple of days ago I got notice that the niece had aked for a three month continuance because she had an out of state court date on the new date. It makes me wonder if the out of state court date has anything to do with the fact that the original place she landed, Oregon, is the place where she moved in with some random person and them got thrown out. On the other hand, it could have something to do with one of the jobs she was fired from. Of course, it could also be because she will be on the vacation my great niece said she wanted to take. Maybe she will use some of the thirty thousand dollars in cash she had in Colorado. She did not get the three months but I now have until August 12th to figure out what to do. In the request for the three month continuance she said she also needed the time to find an attorney to subpoena people from Louisiana. This tells us she doesn't already have an attorney and somehow got the temorary restraining order simply by going to the clerk of court and getting it issued based on whatever lies she could come up with. Apparently the temporary restraining order is just issued automatically and the hearing is where evidence is presented. Asking for a three month continuance keeps the restraining order in place without proving anything. It gives her the means to mess with us without proving we have done anything. My sister doesn't have any more money to pay for a lawyer for her and she isn't going to use her cash for this. Theoretically she can keep getting continuances without ever proving anything. She's not nearly as smart as she thinks she is and this gives me more time. I have already talked to most of the family lawyers in the area about the situation so they can't represent her because it would be a conflict of interest on their part. Hopefully this will cause her enough problems that she will drop the matter. If not, I have some weapons to use involving information about some things she has done that could result major legal problems for her. This has turned into such a shitshow that I have trouble believing it is actually happening. I have been advised to ask the local police to do extra patrols of my home on the date she refused because the fact that she said she had an out of state court date may mean there is something going on in Louisiana and she could turn up there. I walk aroung worrying if I will suddenly see a crazy armed woman in front of me. Everyday I check our cars to see if she may have come in the night and caused damage. And, of course, my main concern is the safety of my great niece. It worries me every minute of every day. Hugs and love, Janet

I have already blocked my niece from my phone. The problem is she sent the death threat via her daughter's school computer so I answered.i have no desire to see my niece again but I think her daughter deserves a better life.

As far as the temporary order, we received it on the 21st, so a week ago today, at around 8 at night, so well after hours for attorneys. From the front of the document it seems to have been signed on the 16th, so it took five days for them to get it to me. Tuesday morning I called my attorney here and he looked it over and said I should have been served with a petition first, which did not happen. He advised me to talk to a local attorney there. I literally left messages with every family law attorney in Fort Collins with no result so I had to file a motion for continuance as a person without attorney. Like I said, it's just another step in her stated intention to destroy me. I'm not the first. My real concern is that I won't be able to help this child if she calls me again and asks for it. Thanks to everyone for the support. It means a lot. Janet

Sorry, I thought I had answered about the time period with the TRO but apparently I did not hit submit. The TRO was apparently signed on the 15th of June but was not sent to our local sheriff for service until the 19th. We were served around 8 at night on the 21st. . Starting the next day I called most of the lawyers advertised on Findlaw on the internet as family law attorneys in the area where my niece is. I left voicemails, personal messages with receptionists, you name it. Exactly 2 called me back. One said she was too slammed to take new cases and one said they did not handle things like TROs. The only place I got any help was from the Clerk of Court. Someone there walked me through their website and showed me how to download a blank motion so I could ask for a continuance since I could not find an attorney so qickly. I asked for a continuance and I also asked that the TRO be dismissed. I let them know that I had never initiated any contact with the child, I only responded when she called or texted. I told them an attorney here said I should have been served with the petition for the TRO before it was granted, which did not happen. I also gave some history on the situation and told them that we had not been to Colorado, had not plans to go there, and certainly had not done anything to make my niece think she was in imminent danger. As far as the question as to how my niece was able to get the TRO so quickly, your guess is as good as mine. When she texted a death threat to me after finding out her daughter had contacted me, the authorities in Colorado said there was nothing they could do about it because I was here and she was there. Lo and behold, she gets a TRO immediately and she is still there and I am still here. Go figure. The fact of the matter is that my niece is someone who is good on the surface. She is very convincing when you don't actually know her. Hence, the men who were willing to help her out when she spun tales of being a poor single mother who just needed a hand. Once she got comfortable and showed her true self they were gone. She even moved in with one guy and told him she was an RN. Every morning she dressed in scrubs, took the child to school, then came back to the apartment and hung around until it was time to pick the child up again. This guy had a roommate and she gave him a schedule as to when he could do laundry, cook and be in the common areas. Now mind you, she wasn't paying rent, the two guys were. When she was asked to contribute, she went crazy and there was a huge fight, complete with police, domestic violence charges, and the boyfriend jumping from a second story balcony to get away from her. Another man pumped five thousand dollars into her truck to get it working but it never did. She bled him dry and then left. She is so ridiculously mean and selfish that it is hard to believe that someone like her actually exists and God forgive me, I wish she did not, but I have not threatened her and I would not harm her, simply because I know the difference between right and wrong and I do have an conscience. Anyway, I did not get a response to my motion, no calls or emails. She may have a permanent restraining order at this point or it could have been dismissed. All I can do is wait. Thanks for the support. It's late and I have to drive an hour in the morning to have a procedure on my back so I should get to bed. Have a good night. Janet

Hi again. Not that you asked, but the hearing for the permanent restraining order my niece wants is tomorrow in Colorado. Not only can we not afford the trip, but I have one of my colds that stay around for weeks. I can't stop coughing and my ears really hurt. There's no telling what the altititude will do. Since the only Coloraod lawyers to call me back said they either didn't do that or they were too busy, I filled out a motion for continuance and also for dismissal. There is no way the niece can prove anything but if we don't go she might get a default judgement. I told the judge about us getting emergency custody last year, about the mother destroying the home she was living in rent free when she fled the state although there were several open cases against her with DCFS. I told them about her shoplifting arrests and about the many domestic violence situationswhere she ended up getting chaged. I also told them I was afraid that making the TRO permanent would cause problems if the child tried to get i contact with us and especially if she considered herself to be in danger. Who knows if it will help. All I can do is try. Thanks for listening(reading). Much love, Janet

To those of you who responded to me with supportive words, thank you so much. I fear this is just another of my niece's power trips. I don't even know if Colorado has jurisdiction over me because I responded to my great-niece when she called and texted or if temporary restraining orders are routinely granted no matter what. She has tried to have my Notary Public Commision pulled by lying and they laughed at her but restraining orders are taken very seriously. My attorney here said I wasn't served with all the necessary papers but I will still have to have an attorney there file something. Just another way for this monster to have control over me and cost me money. I have cut ties with the niece but that doesn't mean she won't try to make my life miserable.

Hi guys, I haven't been around except to lurk for a few minutes at a time but I wanted to tell @jcbrownhow sorry I am about the loss of her father. You are never ready to lose a parent and I wish you love and peace at this time. On to the shitshow. The niece found out her daughter managed to get in touch with me and went ballistic. She made her quit her job, threatened several coworkers and when I had the police go out there for a welfare check this child who went from tentatively? calling me one night to face timing mutiple times a day from school and from work suddenly told the officer that I had been calling her and bothering her. All the calls came from her but anybody who is familiar with abuse knows the abuser will threaten bodily harm if the abused tells anyone. All was quiet until two days ago when I was served with a restraining order alleging that I had threatened both of them and that they were in imminent danger from me. I am 20 hours away and have no intention of going to Colorado because the niece is (1) crazy and (2) always armed. I am dropping the papers to my lawyer this morning to find out if Colorado has any jurisdiction over me. When I tried to get a restraining order against her here I was told it would have to be under stalking and if the court determined that it did not fit the statute I could be liable for over 900 dollars in court costs but it cost her nothing to file there. The whole situation is crazy and the abuser always seems to have the upper hand. I literally don't know what to do at this point.

Hi, To answer your questions, she turned 16 in February. Colorado does not have an emancipation statute like we do. If she were here she could emancipate herelf as long as she had a way to support herself, including having someone willing to support her. School is out so she no longer has the school computer and she was forced to quit her job by her mother. We can all make complaints to CPS and continue to ask for welfare checks, but her mother, in the threat to the coworker, said they were moving out of state. DCFS here would not tell me how the 12 complaints of abuse were resolved, but she ran less than a week after she regained custody, and I know an outside therapist made a complaint after the custody hearing. The mother has always run away when someone made her mad. I have the stolen credit card bills to prove it. As far as the many people aware of the situation, there were many here who knew what was going on but the judges here do not want to remove children from their mothers. Also, abused children are frequently too scared to tell people what is happening because in most cases they are returned to the abusive parent while an investigation is going on. This is what happened here. The only reason I got emergency custody is that this was in the middle of Covid, courts were closed to the public, and these things were granted immediately. We got a custody hearing date for a month later. The mother is a narcissist who believes the child is an extension of her. She is not allowed to associate with other teenagers except the ones at work. She has no friends at school, that's why she facetimed me from school every time time she had free time. Unfortunately for the child, she is totally different from her mother and is constantly punished for it. She has attempted suicide at least ten times here and she told me she had done so once there. She is a strong child but we all have out limits. When they left the new therapist said she saw two outcomes. She would kill herself or her mother would kill her. I thank God neither of those things have happened yet. All I can do is wait for word from her. Thanks again for listening. Love, Janet.

Hi guys, New installment in the saga of me and my niece. She contacted me using a friend's phone from work and I was so thrilled. We were both crying the whole time. It had taken her a year to get up the courage and to feel comfortable enough with someone and tell her story. Next she figured out how to get to a private server on her school computer and text me. She could also do a sort of face time on it. My days were ruled by waiting to hear from her. She texted and face timed during her free period in the morning, at lunch, before she left school. If she worked that day she called on her break and again before she left to go home. I carried my phone with me at all times in case there was a problem. The abuse continued from her mother. This child went to school full time, worked full time, and her mother actually went to her job on payday to get her check. I found out she worked till 10:30 at night and only got food if she worked a double. I started sending money by venmo to a couple of her coworkers so she could have dinner. I talked to several of her coworkers and was told the mother showed up at work to berate the child for whatever she did or didn't do. They are in Colorado and if she missed the bus she either walked a mile in whatever weather, sometimes snow, or she missed school. She usually walked to work, about a mile away, unless one of her coworkers showed up to get her. She does not have a cell or house phone. Until someone told her how to use the computer to make a call, she was completely isolated at home. Her mother refused to pick her up at night so the managers and coworkers always took her home. So, we go along this way, brainstorming about getting her out of tvenhere, she loved the facetime, she got to actually see us, she adores my husband, I even took the phone next door so she could see our elderly neighbors because the can't get out. They consider her their adopted grandchild. I talked to lawyers there, she talked to the police and a teacher at school. There were several times she texted that she was not ok, big fights, the usual with her mother. Next thing you know, her mother texts that sheis going to kill me,at 1 in the morning, literally says "you're gonna die, I say "WHY", she says "beause I'm goning to K", I say "what", she sayd end your life the way you've been trying to mess up mine". Next I asked who it was and the response was the child's name. Now, I know it is the mother and I said so. She went on to threaten a couple of the child's coworkers. I begged the local police to do a welfare check and it was 4 in the afternoon when they finally went. Guess what, she tells him I have been harassing her and he tells me to stop it. The mother has all of us blocked, the child has no phone, and until a little over a week ago, I didn't even know if the child was alive, but I'm harrassing her. No one in Colorado wants to help this child, cps won 't take her so if she talks they will leave her with the mother to be abused. I'm so upset and angry I can't even bear to talk about this in real life. I feel safe un loading here. I just know they will leave again and I probably won't hear from this child again until she is 18. If you're still here, thanks for reading. Love, Janet

Hi Guys, I stepped away for a while today but I just want everyone who offered kind words and support to know how much it means to me. I still beat myself up about this because no matter what I know there is a child out there who needs me and for all my efforts I can't find her. So,thank you all for helping me end this day with the knowledge that there are wonderful, caring people out there. Much love, Janet

@Mindthinkr, thank you so much.

Hi Guys, I've been away for a long time and I have missed all of you so much. For those of who know, I tried last year to get my abused great-niece away from her abuser, even getting emergency custody. She was so happy to be with us and relied on us to get her to safety. Then we ran up against our state DCFS, which decided their workers were not essential and took them out of the office and sent them home, where only some of them worked at any one time. Not their fault, of course, but not fair to them or to the children who needed them. Despite 12 complaints against the mother, including one from an outside therapist who was horrified at what she heard, the judge literally said he would not interfere with the mother's parenting. WIthin 2 hours of getting the child back she had forced the child's arm behind her back, hurting her badly, the mother was allowed to lie and press assault charges against the child. Then, they ran. Before they left, the mother destroyed the home she had lived in rent free for 7 years and then destroyed everything outside, inlcuding a truck that needed work but could have been fixed. Bullets through the radiator, all the doors, glass, sugar in the gas tank. Anyway, its been a year today since we had to give her back and I'm not doing well. I don't even know if she is alive, in a mental facility, which was her mother's favorite punishment and/or place to stash her when she had plans with the revolving door of men she fed off of. Possibly she is in jail. Don't really know why I'm here except that all of you gave me such support during this terrible time and I feel so guilty about my promise to her. I'm also sorry I have not been here to offer support to those of you who helped me. So, much love, internet hugs, and thanks for being there. Janet

Happy Birthday @iwantcookies, I'm sorry the people in your offscreen life don't appreciate you. We do. Big Hugs and much love to you.