So, the hair washing scene from Out of Africa came up in conversation with my friends a couple of days ago, and I went, Hey, wasn't there something similar in a mini series with young Courtney Cox, in which her much older lover was doing the washing and he later died in a plane crash? And Hugh Grant was her half-brother? There is, and, my God, it's glorious. I spent three hours on it yesterday and today, and it was a complete acid trip. I think I mixed up some things from another piece Hugh Grant did around the same time, Champagne Charlie. Of course, I'll have to rewatch that one as well. :)
Funny thing is, this is supposed to be a soap but it skipped over some big emotional moments. It actually reminded me of Arrow in that.
The story starts pre-WWI with Courtney's mother Eve. She's a teenager (played badly by a 30-something actress, gorgeous, but still 30 if she was a day) from a well to do family, who is semi-engaged to the town catch, but she's in luv with a skeevy performer played by Maxwell Caulfield after seeing his act three times. She chases him to a night train as he departs for his mother's funeral and they, naturally, have sex as one does in those circumstances. They live in sin in Paris until he contracts some lung disease, and then she is aided by a neighbor with theatre connections to get a solo singing part when she goes to audition for the chorus. The rise to the top is hard, y'all. Skeevy Maxwell Caulfield is upset about this because he never got close to it, calls her a whore and attempts to rape her. This thankfully does not go far since he's coughing up a lung or two.
Fast forward a few years and Eve goes to sing for the soldiers at the front, only she and her driver go the wrong way and have to spend a night with Michael York and his men. Michael thinks she's an idiot at first (he's not wrong), but then he's enchanted with her voice. Then Michael goes to visit his wife and new born son, where his mother-in-law has some of the most hilarious lines ever, commenting that the child (future evil Hugh Grant), is superb. We produce beautiful children. The point of this visit is that Michael is Paul de Lancel (a surname I don't think a single person pronounces correctly for the whole 3 hours), French nobleman, heir to an old successful winery and with a bright future in diplomacy he throws away to fight the good fight. Also, his cuckoo wife Susannah Harker (B&E's Jane Bennet) issues a warning that she'll kill herself if he leaves her, aka returns to his post. She then shoots herself in the head before completing the threat. I don't think that' how emotional blackmail works, Susannah. In the aftermath the in-laws swear to make baby Hugh Grant (Bruno) evil and to hate his father. Spoiler: They will succeed.
Another two years later, Michael York tracks down Eve in her theatre and takes her out to dinner and dancing. Three hours into it he proposes. She is shocked that it took him so long, but accepts. Ahahaha. Since the war is over, Paul gets some foreign post as a diplomat and goes home to say goodbye to little Bruno. His father-in-law keeps him from the baby, saying that he's somewhere else, but Paul doesn't really try all that much. Nor does he in the following 15 years as he gets sent to different places aside from issuing invitations for Bruno to come to wherever Paul and his new family are at the moment. I'm not surprised Bruno hates him.
We catch up with the family in California. Paul and Eve have two kids, roughly about 10, Delphine (future Mia Sara) and Freddie (future Courtney Cox). Freddie is crazy about flying and gets her Dad to take her to a flying school for a flight and then tricks the instructor into giving her a lesson. This is important - the instructor is her future love interest. She's roughly 10 and he's over two decades older! And Paul leans on the water pump that will be the scene which prompted my memory as they leave. It's hilarious! Freddie continues taking flying lessons as years go by and she actually turns into Courtney Cox and in the one honestly good scene of this thing, her sister, who really doesn't have anything in common with her, is truly and honestly overjoyed when Freddie completes her first solo flight.
The family goes back to Paul's chateau for the first time in ever. That's when his parents meet their granddaughters for the first time, which is insane. It's 1930s at this point, intercontinental travel wasn't impossible and the family has more than enough money. But whatever, Evil Bruno is living their since his maternal grandparents have died and he's an ass to everyone, admires Hitler and "exposes" Eve's seedy past to Delphine. She takes it for granted and then proceeds to get into trouble, drinking and gambling, and whatnot back in LA. After she claims diplomatic immunity because of Paul when she's arrested, she's sent back to the grandparents to get disciplined. They instead throw her parties where all of Bruno's friends fall madly in love with her. One of them takes them to visit a film studio where she runs into Charles Shaughnessy, a brash Jewish film director with a truly afwul curly mullet. Much like her mother before her she stumbles into an audition, a leading role, and instant fame. After the film is completed, she confesses her love to him, he insults her, then confesses he loves her back, and all is well until the war, because - Jewish.
Meanwhile Freddie decides not to go to college and instead fly professionally, for which Paul throws her out of the house. Father of the year Paul is not. She runs to Mack, her much, muuuuch older flying instructor. They of course get together the same night, and start doing movie stunts with Mack's old friend Jock, who's actually a pretty cool guy. There's the hair washing scene (in which he basically hoses her down like a dog) and then he gets all bossy about not letting her do a stunt and proceeds to die in the aforemention crash while doing it. Freddie decides to heal her broken heart by joining the army. She's stationed in Great Britain, where she befriends fellow pilot played by Serena Gordon, has a run in with Bruce Boxleitner, and meets and reconciles with her father. She also goes to visit Serena's family at their country estate where Serena's brother Tony barges into the bathroom where Freddie is taking a bath and hangs out, which bothers no one, not Freddie, not Serena, and not Serena and Tony's mother. They're peerage at least, but sure. Tony later drops by Freddie's room with the gift of a waterbottle and jumps in her bed dressed for bed himself (but still wearing a wrist watch, what?) and promptly proposes marriage. Sure. Paul gives Freddie away and Bruce Boxleitner is the best man who realizes he missed his chance, but is a good sport about it. Freddie soon gets pregnant and Tony grounds her (not as in not leaving the house, but not flying, still an utter ass) and trouble starts to brew.
Meanwhile in France Eve, a natural at everything it seems, successfully takes over running the winery until Germans take it over and Bruno jumps in to be able to better collaborate with the Nazis. He also suggests Delphine use her fame and influence to get info on Charles Shaughnessy from the Germans. He takes her to a party at a high ranking officer's and poor, dumb Delphine doesn't realize that her "influence" means sleeping with the enemy for information. She hightails it out of there, after which Bruno rapes her. His maternal grandparents are probably doing a jig in hell at that moment. He also steals the family's secret stash of 500,000 bottles of best champagne to sell on the black market together with the Nazis. A local father and son see this, and Bruno executes the father when they catch him. The son witnesses this and goes catatonic. A group of "skilled" workers is sent to help with the harvest and one of them is Charles Shaughnessy, now with a better haircut. He's soon uncovered as completely unskilled and is sent off somewhere to be executed with a few others. Eve, knowing her daughter loves him (how, I do not know, they never show them talking about him or almost at all) saves him and the others with the help of the local resistance.
Post-war, Paul discovers Bruno's theft (though presumably not the rape) and tosses Bruno out, giving him a beating in the process. Bruno still has heaps of money from profiteering with which he can get at his family for years. Delphine reunites with Charles Shaughnessy. The apparently have problems which get resolved after she takes Freddie's advice and tells him about Bruno raping her. Emotionally gripping stuff, no? Well, aside from the reunion it all takes place off screen and they only show Delphine recapping it years later. Freddie meanwhile goes with Tony and their daughter to visit Bruce Boxleitner in California. Freddie takes over, they stay, invest in Bruce's air transport business and she starts flying again. Tony cheats, then finally leaves her and Freddie finds out that Bruce Boxleitner knew about Tony's cheating for a while. She flips, goes flying and crashes, after which she refuses to see Bruce for months while he's being kind to her mother and kid.
Paul has a heart attack while riding with Eve through the wineyard (hilarious scene), gets dragged by the horse for 5 feet and is declared dead by a grape picker. Um, why not call for a doctor? Bruno, now sporting a very Hitler-esque moustache shows up to literally spit on his father's grave and inform his wife and daughters that he has managed to take over all of Paul's many mortgages. It doesn't pan out for him in the end because the son of the man he killed finally manages to say what Bruno did, the locals hunt him down and execute him, firing squad style. The son presumably gets the death shot. The police officer in charge of the investigation declares it a hunting accident with the whole firing squad still there, their rifles smoking.
Freddie goes back to California, where her daughter has stayed while she attended the funal and all the arrangements. Tony notably didn't either come from England to be with her or take her there while Freddie was away. Instead, Jock and Bruce Boxleitner have been taking care of her and Bruce has been giving her flying lessons. Thankfully, it's not a repeat of the disturbing Freddie/Mack story, and Freddie and Bruce finally get together. They have an unsatisfactory short kiss and then they go flying with her taking the wheel again. That part is good. The end.
As I was watching it, similar stuff started popping up on Youtube and I was reminded of all the crazy stuff that was produced in mid and late 80s. Is there anything worse than Mistral's Daughter?
Well, now I want to know who can take credit for it? Because it was hilarious. First, two years ago Iris found Oliver hot while she didn't notice Barry pining for her at all. Now Barry gets her and she still finds his grumpy older brother figure completely sizzling. :)
