Chickabiddy

Witness Protection???

OMG! Larissa is all vamped up for their date and Colt looks like Pat from SNL. It’s time for androgyny. It’s Pat..Colt. OMG. I so dated myself. 😉

Right?! I also noticed that Dorinda seemed to be working really hard this episode to cozy up to Bethenney. I wonder what brought this on.

And like most of her jokes it was vulgar and crass.

I know. I felt like I was watching Abuse-Off between Ramona and Beth. Almost decided to keep score. 🙄 I really dislike Lu’s round little hovel. Looks like a cheap vacay rental. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. During the rehash of Ramona’s charity event, it irritated me how those bitches kept referring to Bridie as “the girl” As in, “You kept interrupting the GIRL.” Stupid bitches couldn’t even bother to remember her name. 🙄 And could Beth please take her damn shoes off when putting her feet on the furniture? Apparently, raised by wolves and in a barn. 🙄 And that’s all I got. It was both boring AND exhausting. Apparently, money can’t buy you interesting things to say or do either. 😉

I think you are restating essentially what I said. I am simply adding that as a lifetime enabler and a dominant authority figure, her father bears more responsibility for their dynamic. And we don't really know anything about Libby’s sisters’ financial situations. We don’t know how much Big Daddy has given them over the years. If the Mercedes are leased and the houses are mortgaged to the eye balls, then they really aren’t rich. They just look that way. Sure, Libby’s sister Jen has a fancy kitchen, but the house almost looks like a rowhouse so close to the others, and the garage seems to take up half the square footage. In other words, it looks like a modest, cookie-cutter house that you see all over Florida. Tract home built on the cheap with a good paint job and a few fancy fixtures. Maybe Daddy likes the husbands because he can control them and they do everything he says. We just don’t know enough from a reliable source. And Libby’s marriage hasn’t played out yet. Sure, it’s off to a rocky start, and big daddy is doing everything in his power to make sure his negative prophecy comes true, but we are still very much at the beginning.

He didn’t raise Andrei but he raised a daughter who is attracted to such a man enough to want to marry him. And again, Big Daddy can put his foot down and stop all of this by turning off the cash spigot. He doesn’t do that because he gets off on the dynamic he created. Pure and simple. Tired of your kid sponging off you? Stop taking their calls. It’s so easy, really. 😉 In a parent - child relationship, the parent bears more responsibly for the dynamic because of the natural power imbalance. Libby is to blame for sure, but her father is more to blame.

No it’s not for real. I just made it up so you could quote it in an indignant response.😉 Libby’s dad has been setting her up to fail forever. She is 28 and works part time for daddy. He has never sought to empower her. My point exactly is he shouldn’t constantly give them money to live rent free or indulge their whims to move out while constantly criticizing them and whining about how much of a burden they are. Like it or not, the family is stuck with Andrei for at least a little while. It would serve Libby’s father much better to try to build a bridge with Andrei and be positive. Yes, he made a mistake about trucking school. I get it. People fuck up. Andrei is neither educated or sophisticated. But Libby married him, and now they are all stuck. Makes more sense to me to try to turn the chicken shit into chicken salad. And it would save Libby’s father money in the long run if he decided to be supportive with the handyman idea then giving Andrei a few contacts and $5000 to get set up instead of a stream of constant handouts. Saying something along the following: “Andrei, you’re new here, and you’ve married my daughter, and I have to accept that. I do want to help you by giving you some seed money and referrals to get started in your business. However this is a one time deal, and you can’t keep coming back to the well.” I am here to give you advice and guidance, but otherwise you are independent.” But, see, if Libby’s dad does that, he loses power by not having $$ to use as a lure and a form of control. He gives financial help but LOVES bitching about it ad nauseam. He has the power to say no and put his foot down. But he doesn’t because he gets off on the control and ego boost that comes from being Daddy Warbucks. Libby’s dad set up the dynamic of enabling weakness a long time ago with Libby. It’s why she is 28 and still thinking like a teenager. The constant negativity that comes along with the hand outs sends a message that the receiver is not good enough or strong enough to make it without the handouts. It’s a cycle that reinforces itself and keeps Libby’s dad dominant in her life. Imagine how much more pleasant the family dynamic would be if Libby’s dad and treated Andrei with a modicum of respect and tried to guide him in a positive way. A one time payout with guidance and boundaries would have saved her dad $$ in the long run, but that’s would have deprived him of the high he gets from the sense of control and the chance to bitch. And her whole family seems to thrive on negativity and toxicity. And let’s face it: it does make better TV and gins up the snark on the message boards as an added bonus. 😉

As I posted previously, we moved to Atlanta about 8 months ago. And this place IS pricey. Before we found our house, we were looking at three bedroom apartments in Decatur - a cute little town about 8 miles from the center of Atlanta. Rents were like $3500 to $5,000 a month. That is some serious coin. Whatever Pedro sends home a month is not going to get Chantel very far in the ATL. She needs to get over herself and accept that she married a very blue collar guy who is never going to make the kind of money to fund the lifestyle she wants. Chicky should have held out for a paraprofessional at least. Andrei made me cringe with his interview attire and demeanor. Of course, I blame Libby because she didn’t coach him or give him any guidance on how to handle himself. I always give my German husband tips on cultural norms here in the US. Andrei is obviously not a sophisticated guy...kinda like Libby’s dad. I was impressed that he was candid about his mistakes and misunderstanding about what trucking would involve in the US. It’s a shame Libby’s dad seems so vested in watching his daughter and her husband fail. He likes keeping Libby and now Andrei weak and dependent, so he can exercise control. Imagine if her dad was supportive and helped him get a leg up with the handy man work. He owns a number of properties and must have contacts in the property management and construction biz to give Andrei some contacts to get started. I would imagine that Andrei could get a good little business started. Doing repairs and minor projects can bring in decent money. Most people don’t generally have the skills to do repairs anymore like they used to. They always need to bring someone in. But doing that with a helpful attitude would only empower Libby and Andrei. Libby’s dad wants to keep them weak and dependent on his largess so he can continue to be the domineering paterfamilias.

Those are one time sunk costs....kinda like Chantel’s engagement ring and bewbie jobs. 😉 The show only films them for a couple of weeks at a time. Her beauty regimen requires weekly maintenance. And Pedro is working two jobs and improving his English. He isn’t sitting around either expecting her to provide for him. That’s my whole point. Both work. Both should be able to spend a certain amount of discretionary income as they see fit. What continues to amaze me is how Chantel gets a pass to spend money on what she wants, but Pedro, for whatever reason, is not granted the same leeway to do so as Chantel. It’s that double standard of what we expect of the foreign spouse’s behavior vs. the American spouse that I find so fascinating. I really hope we are as hard on the American spouses when they go abroad in 90 Days The Other Way. It will be interesting to know everybody’s reaction when the shoe is on the other foot.

I’m not sure what rents are in the DR, but I am damn sure It hey are way less than the US. Pedro is helping out his family by sending home 150 bucks a month. This is a relative pittance. Some people have a cable bill that is higher than that. Chantel’s monthly beauty routine is 150 at a minimum for the hair, lashes, nails. If it’s OK for her to indulge her self, we should be more than OK with Pedro sending $150 to his mom and sister. If it’s OK for her to indulge herself, we should be more than OK with Pedro sending $150 to his mom and sister. I never see Pedro throwing that expenditure in her face. And maybe Pedro’s mother and his sister have a four bedroom apartment so that Pedro always has a room at home when he goes for a visit, and maybe they want to have a room for Abuela if she becomes so infirm that she can’t live by herself in the country anymore. And we just moved to the Atlanta area about eight months ago. Let me be real clear that rents and housing are super pricey here. Before we found our house, we looked at apartments in the Decatur area that were $3500 to $5000 a month for a three bedroom! Pedro’s $150 a month ain’t going to do much to improve Chantel’s lifestyle in the ATL. Whereas $150 a month makes a huge difference in DR living. Also, we don’t see Pedro pursuing expensive hobbies or harassing Chantal about how much money she’s bringing in or how much money she is spending on her clothes and make up. Normally, a man who works two jobs to help support his mother and sister would be considered a good, responsible guy, and a good catch. I wonder if Pedro were white and born in Atlanta if the impression of him would be different.

I’m thinking a temp job. Certainly nothing permanent. But she could file, put address labels on envelopes or answer the phone for a couple of days a week. Surely, if Nicole can find temp work, Libby can. Her dad and coven of witches sisters can all fake references for her.

🙄 Andrei is planning to do handy man work Temping in an office is hardly hard labour. I’m not suggesting she work in a rice paddy and squat down to give birth before she continues work. 🙄 It really amazes me how so many are determined to see Andrei as the evil free loading foreigner, and seemingly giving Libby a bit of a pass. Pregnant women work all the time. Like my MiL advised me “Pregnancy is a condition, not an illness. Don’t treat it like one” If Libby is so worried about money and so frustrated about her controlling dad inserting herself into their marriage, getting some kind of easy Peezy temp office job may actually reduce her stress and make her feel better about her circumstances.

Then Libby can go out and get a job. I worked 7 days a week running two galleries while pregnant in post Katrina New Orleans. Yeah, I get stress and pregnancy. And frankly getting another job would be less stressful than asking daddy for money and throwing gas on the fire of hatred that burns between Libby's Family and her husband.

Maybe Andrei is ashamed to take it because he knows that Libby’s dad expects more because “All her sisters drive Mercedes.” Yes, I get that it’s not logical but maybe Andrei is feeling overwhelmed and beaten down like Pedro. And speaking of Pedro, looks like Mama flat ironed her hair for his arrival. Glad his gift went to good use.

This! I don’t think Andrei is lazy. Rather, he is caught between a need for a job and Libby and her smothering family’s totally unreasonable expectations. They want him working a six-figure job 60 hours a week, but if he does that, he’s a total shit heel for abandoning his young wife and child. Much like Pedro, Andrei is living in a trick box where he can never do anything right. If he says blue, they will chime in and tell him he should’ve said red. And if he says red..... Just like family Chantel, family Libby does not want the marriage to succeed. The whole clan is hell bent on destroying it. Just like Chantel, Libby is not strong enough or smart enough to fight back. …

No. TLC found them for her. 😉

Nope and she is taking the baby with her to hold for ransom for the rest of its life. Russ May beg parole after 18 years.

Nope and she is taking the baby with her to hold for ransom for the rest of its life. Russ may get parole after 18 years.

Russ’ mom is doing a fabulous job being diplomatic, and yet she’s holding her ground. Good on you, Patty.

Funny, that’s not what I heard. Her dad said that if they left the house before all the work was done he would have to call a contractor. I’m sure Libby’s dad gave them enough work to do for six months to a year. Her dad didn’t say on the phone that Andrei hadn’t done any work on the house, and as happy as he is to run Andrei into the ground, I’m sure Libby’s dad would’ve pointed that out numerous times on the call. My understanding was an appropriate amount of work was done for the amount of time they lived there, but her dad was guilt tripping her about moving out early without all the work being done over the next six months to a year. And now he has to call the contractor to finish with Andrei started. Poor Libby’s Dad. Gee, I wonder if we are going to be as hard on the Americans on The 90 Days The Other Way when they are all trying to adjust and acclimate to a totally foreign culture. It will be interesting to see if we have the same expectations for the Americans in similar circumstances. I for one can’t wait.

Libby’s Dad - it’s not really a gift, and you are not really that generous if Andrei is doing ongoing work for you that means you don’t need to contact a contractor. A gift should be given with no strings attached. I always roll my eyes at people who give a “gift” and then have all sorts of strings attached to said “gift.” When you give a gift, you surrender all control of said object or item. I All she does it make it worse with her constant begging and LYING to Andrei and her dad. As dumb Nicole is, I think Libby is actually dumber. 🙄

Oh, Mom Russ, All you have to do to make things better with Pao is just give her everything she wants whenever she wants it. Its really so simple.

All that work leaves very little time for idle chit chat. oh snap, Pedro is fighting back. Stick a fork in him. He is DONE. I’m just totally gob smacked at how little self-awareness Chantel has. She just can’t see herself at all.