humbleopinion

You don’t need creeps invading hers and the rest of the neighbors’ privacy. That was unfortunate.

I just saw the show on YouTube. Holly’s house is haunted, for sure. Get to see Patty, the psychic who picks up the man who is most probably the entity making noises and is the shadow that Zac and the camera picks up. Jay is stalked by a bobcat and somehow gets scrapes and cuts as he gets rolls down a steep hill.

Scoot over, I’m sitting next to you. I have snacks for us and anyone else wants to join our bench.

Anyone else think Jose’s step mother was channeling POSChris’ father when talking about wedding night sex? Jose Senior, she’s what floats your boat? Ick.

With his Phi Delt frat brothers ogling Brett's titties while questioning her....not that they wanted to out of respect for Ryan but her gals were right in their faces.... Come to think of it, Haley (if she attended a Texas college) would be perfect for Ryan. Haley is a sorority sister, still goes to alum college football games, travels for business like Ryan who is always out in the field visiting his clients, they would get along because both are social and like to do things with their friends group. Or Ryan was expecting someone "sweet" like Danielle....

I will concede that the two step is difficult if someone like Brett who does not know other basics like the foxtrot and waltz or how to follow when being led around by her partner... Betcha Ryan was a cotillion escort and frat boy both requiring knowing how to social dance.

Ryan turned out to be a hoot. On Unfiltered he was relaxed, outgoing and dressed like an typical oil man/frat boy at leisure...shorts, button down, Cole Haan/Allen Edmond's driving shoes. He is more a golf links guy than country boy. Brett is a stick in the mud with one up her butt. Refusing to Two Step? Follow your husband's lead...learn on YouTube how to Cotton Eye Joe, chicken dance, country slide so you can blend in at the next party Not know how "to ranch?" You go to meet the grandparents at their "place", say Yes Ma'am, Yes Sir when spoken to by an elder, learn how to shoot an assortment of guns, ride around in the ATVs, fish in the stocked pond and watch where you step...fire ants, sticker burrs and snakes....

Jose has the mindset that if he brings up his flaws and insecurities then it will diffuse the sting...Wrong. Be a sexy beast like Johnny...... Wear the bold dark scarlet tux to make an indelible first impression Make her laugh Pull her in seductively for your first dance together. Enthusiastically dive into your bride's wedding dress, hands behind your back to grab the garter with your teeth and drag it off her leg...that impressed plenty of the ladies in the room, wink wink nudge nudge

For the first time, the five couples are waking up married to a stranger; before they can leave on their honeymoon, each spouse will have brunch with their new in-laws.

Unfiltered: Rachel, Myrla, Ryan and JOtis. Ryan is chatty…must be what a great interviewer JamieO is…haha no….. Rachel in person is less dour than on tape. She acknowledged her foot in mouth moment and she and Jose moved past it. Myrla was self professed emotionless when she wrote her vows…not going to argue with her.

Michaela is the new Brandon? She is full on out of her mind in that clip…. Teasing us with deceptively misleading edits that Bao and Johnny will not stay married has bummed me out.

Meanwhile back at the ranch…. Red banners are flapping in the wind for Cheap Old Fashion Gil and Posh Myrla who will never change her last name to Cuero Myrla, what designer line does your lumberjack flannel lingerie honeymoon come from? Rachel was wearing a cute lingerie robe set…finally a classy gal. The Chippendale bow tie….spare us….

Brett, better get used to two stepping to both country and western. And when you realize they are considered 2 different music genres, you are becoming more Texan. Hunting is something he does with family and friends and has since he was a kid so Brett will have to reconcile herself with that.

Rachel’s faux pas will be used against her ad nauseum throughout the season….much to our dismay. Jose’s whole demeanor changed with the emphasis on demean her. But they seem better by the time they entered the Rolls serenaded by mariachis.

Wedding gifts in all their silk and red “good fortune” glory….

Weddings are done….snarking can now commence….

He looks like the ring bearer….

His bio says 5 feet 6 inches but we know that means really 5 feet 3.5 inches…..

Jose will take the baton from Jake for the “she was never attracted to me”……throwing out a little Olympic reference….

There is not enough booze at Costco to make me kiss any part of that fugly face….gag me….

Or he is a dead soulless husk of a man…..

You mean a gallon of milk in 2 quart carton bags.

I think the Houston humidity took a toll on Michaela's sausage curls...not enough hairspray.... For those wondering why Zach's Dad told the others Michaela was a Husky, it refers to where she went to college Houston Baptist University.

https://www.rcbarrymd.com/4-post-pregnancy-plastic-surgery-procedures-to-consider Plus the "lady bits" rejuvenation https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/treatments/17761-energy-based-treatments-and-vaginal-rejuvenation Bao: Oh my gawd, Johnny...Myrla just told me about these 4 operations and multiple treatments after I gotta have to restore my body back to pre baby form... Johnny: Wut? Can't you just do some Kegels, wear Skims if you want and be okay that your body changed after incubating and birthing a human like 97% of all the women in the world?

My cold dark heart turned a deeper shade of black and plunged into the depths of frigid. Why can’t we have nice things? This will be the hugest disappointment.