[S17.E07: The Failed Priest]

I have a small but very important correction to my recap of this episode....I thought Kody said he'd gotten his information about the state of Utah taking Truely away from Christine unless she agreed to a custody arrangement from the "nanosphere."  What he actually said was "manosphere" and a quick Google search of that particular term has me even more enraged than I was when I thought he was saying he'd basically pulled the information out of his ass.  

It's incredible how Kody Brown manages to top my seething hatred of him with each passing day.

[Christine Brown Woolley: Nacho Sister Wife Anymore]

18 hours ago, YupItsMe said:

However, Christine was all over the dance floor. There was one pic of her dancing with an unfamiliar (to me) guy, but I think it was just a guy, not a boyfriend.

I hope Kody ran around to every male within 1000 feet of Christine for the duration of the wedding and reception, making each one sign a form stating that they would not marry Christine and steal Kody's tens of dollars, while Robyn followed him around tugging at his sleeve saying, "Kodeeeeee!  I wanna dannnce!!!" 

[S17.E07: The Failed Priest]

12 minutes ago, islandgal140 said:

Frankly, I think it is because he is able to reduce Gabe to tears and make him emotional. Gabe seems to honestly want a relationship with his dad.  To a narc like Kody it shows him that he has some degree of power over Gabe and some part of him probably gets off on being withholding.

GAH!!!  I am so disgusted by this because it's probably true, and it's 100% on-brand for Kody Brown.  He's garbage.

[The Brown Kids]

13 minutes ago, deirdra said:

That was the second time we've seen her walk away from a "family discussion" which always ends up being his way or the highway.  I don't blame Janelle. It is not worth wasting time talking to someone who never listens.  And he often walked away from her and the boys when he got tired of what they were saying or RV leveling.

That's what they all expect Janelle to do when things get too rill - walk away.  I would, however, love to see her start to walk away and then suddenly do a 180, walk straight up to an unprepared Kody, shove her finger in his face and say, "listen up, Curly Sue."  And then go on to let him know that he's a piece of crap for making their sons feel terrible, for ignoring Savanah and Truely, for being Robyn's gopher, for not going to Ysabel's surgery, etc., etc.  I, like Janelle, avoid conflict whenever possible and if someone yells at me, that person wins because I'm gone.  But there is no gray area when it comes to how Kody has treated their kids.  I'd love to see her blow her stack at Kody, just ONE TIME.  He goes at her because he's confident she's going to do what she always does - walk away.  She needs to give it right back to him and stun him speechless, for at least a few glorious minutes. 

[S17.E07: The Failed Priest]

12 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

I really want to know how Janelle thought everything was going work out at Coyote Pass? Did she think the prairie dog's had little electrical outlets under their tails she could just plug into?

😂😂😂

Honestly, she is coming off dumber and dumber with each passing episode...buying a massive RV sight unseen, marveling that she can't just connect electric power to a prairie dog's ass (I am going to laugh about your comment all day long, I already know it), struggling with the fact that it's not automatically hooked up to a fresh water source, and parking it on uneven dirt and wondering why it rocks dangerously from side to side whenever she climbs up the steps?  I'm getting mighty tired of her being all "well duhhhh, who knew it was going to be this difficult?  Not me!  LOLZ!"  I marvel at the fact that her children are as intelligent as they are, given their parentage.

11 hours ago, butterbody said:

And this is exactly why he is so shitty to Gabe. Instead of being proud of what a wise young man he is, Kody is threatened by him 

THIS.  And it really makes me wonder, what is it about certain sons that causes Kody so much disdain?  Could it be the sons he loathes the most are the ones still misguidedly seeking a relationship with him, which he then gets to turn down?  Because I cannot ever see him treating Logan or Hunter with the contempt he shows Garrison and especially Gabe, even though all four boys are full brothers from the same mother.  Would he treat Paedon this way (actually, I think he completely ignores Paedon because of who his mother is, which in some ways might be better).  We know he would NEVER treat Dayton or Sol the way he treats Gabe.  I do think he is threatened by all of his sons, but why does he feel the need to belittle Gabe at every turn?  

By the way, while Kody is complete scum, I also 100% blame Janelle for allowing him to speak to her son like he does.

8 hours ago, ladyscorpio said:

I agree 100%!! It was so sad seeing Gabe's face tearing up wondering what he did wrong. I so wanted to give him a big hug and say baby you did nothing wrong!! I have a son the same age and I would never let anybody treat him that way!! 

This is why it's so heart-breaking for me too.  If you've managed to raise a kid who is respectful, works hard, and loves his family, how on earth can a parent shun that kid and make them feel that whatever they are doing isn't good enough for that parent's love?  Is this how Winn treated Kody and he's chosen the son he perceives as the weakest and is dishing it back?  Or more likely, is Gabe the kid that Robyn hates the most so Kody is using that as his rationale?  Again, Janelle should be enraged.  If she is, we haven't seen it.

[Spoiler, Speculation and Social Media]

I can see both sides of Kody and Janelle sitting together for Logan's wedding...on one hand, they absolutely should've been able to set aside whatever crap is going on in their sham of a marriage, sit together, and marvel at what a wonderful son they have.  On the other hand, Janelle might have wanted to actually enjoy herself and not worry about Kody making everything all about him, so seating him in the back forty with his crabby wife ensured that Janelle wouldn't have to spend the entire evening with one eye on Kody.

It's also possible that Kody told Janelle that he wouldn't sit with her unless Robyn could sit with them too and Janelle called his bluff, told him to take a flying leap into Poop Pond, and made sure his assigned table was in the dark corner near the restrooms.

[The Brown Kids]

1 hour ago, gingerella said:

Is it wrong of me to hope that KoDouche and Sobyn were sat in a back corner somewhere? And that Douche was annoyed that he wasn't the center of sttention?

I'd like to think that Robyn spent the entirety of the ceremony and reception making sure that Kody stayed put in his chair, while Kody vibrated with the need to get up and make it all about him for raising such a fine son.  

Would there ever be a time, do we think, where Kody might actually have the presence of mind to recognize that not all events call for him gyrating in the center of a dance floor, or speechifying garbled nonsense into a microphone?  Could he actually have been cowed into sitting quietly and minding his own business, knowing full well that Logan turned out to be a fantastic human being not because of Kody, but in spite of him?  I wonder.

[S17.E07: The Failed Priest]

1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

You know Robyn sitting out there at CP in that lone chair looking so depressed…..it’s really pitiful and outrageous.  Robyn appears to be the most miserable person in the bunch from what we’re seeing right now.  

And this is exactly what she wants us to believe.  She's got Kody all to herself at the expense of the OG 3, which was her plan all along.  She's played at being miserable for quite some time now...the poor downtrodden wife who gets the "scraps."  I used to not buy her misery act at all, but like the boy who cried wolf, she may very well be miserable right now because what she didn't count on was the other wives bailing, leaving Kody all for Robyn.  I hope she is miserable, trying to contain that manic Kody energy all day, every day, since she can no longer chuck him out the door to spend the night with another wife, giving her a bit of a break.  As always - excellent work, Robyn. *applause*

[S17.E07: The Failed Priest]

Season 17, episode whatever: "CAN YOU HEAR ME RAGE-TYPING THIS RECAP??!&^%$^"

Spoiler

Disclaimer: while I enjoy swearing in real life, I am a bit hesitant to post the exact phrases I want to use  when describing my true and honest fillings towards Kody Brown, so henceforth when you see **** in this diatribe, please feel free to insert your choice of descriptors - the more vivid, the better.  I believe we will all be on pretty much the same page going forward.  Thank you.

We begin with **** Kody **** Brown driving solo through the plains of Texas, headed for Tulsa where he is going to officiate his friend’s wedding (apparently, said friend missed the episode where Kody officiated for Maddie and Caleb and made it all about himself).  Kody says how much he enjoys the solitude, and how driving puts him in a meditative state – but he is also ruminating on how Christine completely ruined his life by leaving his ass, so which is it – is he angrily meditating?  I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to work, ****.  As for that pesky Covid?  It’s fine now, because there are only 11,000 cases in the US so he’s confident he can dodge it with no need for any of Robyn’s Kody’s protoculls.  I did a modicum of research and while he probably wasn’t too far off numbers-wise, it’s still simply fascinating that Mr. Covid-Nineteen Binder Guy is suddenly just dandy with officiating a freaking wedding, the very definition of “crowd of strangers sharing cooties.”  Clearly Robyn gave him the okey-dokey to go, and speaking of Mrs. Binder, she’s nowhere to be seen – Kody says that she couldn’t go because there would be no one to watch the kids…to which I am confused, because Kody and Robyn not only employ a nanny, they also house two adult children who should be more than capable of handling Sol and Ari for a couple of days?  My sense is that Robyn didn’t want to participate in a wedding celebration when 75% of Kody’s marriages are currently circling the toilet like turds.  Robyn gains no points for that decision from me, though.  Everyone knows Kody and Robyn are living monogamously, so her absence is more obvious than her staying home.  And if she sent him off because she wanted some time away from his stupid hair and manic energy?  Tough luck, sister – this is what you wanted.  Have fun, Dark Queen.

Christine tells us how telling Truely about the “divorce” was the hardest conversation she’s ever had to have.  We see Christine and Truely talking things over, and while this chat had a bit of a stilted, re-enactment vibe to it, I am going on record as cementing Truely Brown as my favorite Brownie.  This child is barely 11 and speaks with such eloquence and lucidity, it’s difficult to imagine she’s a child of Kody’s.  Truely explains that she was briefly heartbroken, especially since she now realizes that she was the last to know and she was also the one this divorce and subsequent move would affect the most, but she’s in a good place now and understands.  In her solo interview, she speaks with a particular affect that reminds me strongly of Mykelti, but my goodness – Truely gets her points across with poise belying her age.  She also states that when Kody eventually got around to talking to her, it was basically him saying “So you know?”  To which Truely answered, “Yes” and Kody replied, “OK.”  That sounds about right.  Kody blathers about how disappointed he is that Truely seemed to be so chill about the news that her father was no longer going to be able to see her as much, play with her, take her out for ice cream….oh, wait, no.  He never did those things.  She can’t miss what she's never had.  Kody is upset at Truely’s reaction because he so badly wanted to throw that back on Christine in the form of guilt for crushing her poor little soul, but it turns out, she’s good.  Nice try, you **** *****.  Also, **** you, Kody.

Let’s play a game and tally the Brown kids that Kody has crushed in this episode so far: current count, 1.

Kody is back talking about his officiant gig and man, he is positively GIDDY as he tells us that he can’t write anything down!  He cannot think of what to say!  You guys, he’s blanking on how to sermonize the greatness that is marriage when he’s on the cusp of Christine leaving, so what can he possibly say about marriage that’s positive?  I hope Robyn watches this and beans him over the head with a frying pan but also, she deserves it.  Kody is just so freaking thrilled that he’s going to be the center of attention to a group of unsuspecting wedding guests, he can hardly sit still on the interview couch.  He’s as nervous as a three-legged cat on a hot tin roof!  Once again Kody butchers a turn of phrase, making him look even dumber than he already does every time he opens his stupid mouth.  It’s impressive, actually.

I cringe sooo hard at the wedding footage of Kody stumbling and garbling his way through that ceremony, I almost levitate out of my chair.  He is peacocking SO hard, but then we get to footage of the reception and while I’m sure I don’t have to tell you what we see in this sequence, for those of you who to refuse to watch this train wreck of a show?  I am going to describe it because we should all have to suffer collectively.  Here’s Kody **** Brown, ponytail a’ swinging, suit jacket shed, dancing in the middle of a circle of bewildered guests like he’s chugged 14 Red Bulls.  He then grabs an unsuspecting and likely terrified female and starts spinning her in circles while others watch, unsure whether to step in or not to save her.  THIS is Kody **** Brown, everyone.  Give him an audience of strangers and he’s literally in his glory!  Wives?  Kids?  Who?  Doesn’t matter!  He’s shaking his weave like there’s no tomorrow to the stunned adoring eyes of his public!  Nothing else matters!  Wheeeeeeeee!!!

**** idiot.

Meanwhile, Christine brings us back to reality by describing how utterly crushed and devastated Gwen and Ysabel were to discover that their “father,” who claimed to not be able to speak to them these past 15 months because of Covid, decided that it was just fine to trek to Tulsa to perform a wedding.

Crushed Kids tally: 3.

Now we see Janelle, the “smart” one, who just bought a massive RV and thought that all she’d have to do is park the thing and hook it up, “somehow,” to a mythical power source and she’d be good to go.  She, Kody and Gabe are trying to level this behemoth on the cratered plains of Coyote Pass.  Kody is yelling at Gabe to stop using the “auto-level” and let him figure this out, while Gabe calmly explains that if Kody would shut his trap for 5 seconds Gabe could explain how to make this work, as he’s the only one with more than a minute’s experience trying to get the thing level.  **** Kody **** Brown interviews that Gabe doesn’t know what he’s talking about because Gabe hasn’t read the RV’s manual (and Kody has??  Hahahahahahaha), and that basically, Gabe should really just step back and be quiet.  Whatever Kody is doing is making it worse, and as Janelle tentatively lumbers up the steps the RV, she's probably praying that the thing won’t tip over every time she rolls over in bed.  Gabe interviews that things have not been great between him and Kody ever since their conversation on CP about Kody’s 174-part protocol missive, and here is the part of the show where every single curse word I know and some that I made up on the spot comes into play when Gabe says that he’s not sure what he did wrong.  Half of my vocabulary is aimed at Kody for making his child so upset that he has no relationship with his dad and is blaming himself, while the other half is directed squarely at Janelle for not taking her kids and moving anywhere in the United States not named Flagstaff as soon as she was able to watch for herself that initial exchange between Gabe, Garrison and Kody.  I was profoundly uncomfortable during the entire sequence where Gabe and Kody are together, because it’s crystal clear that Kody sees Gabe as nothing more than a nuisance, while Gabe is desperately trying to engage Kody and get him to listen.  Heart-breaking.

Crushed children tally: 4.

Also in this segment we get a shot of a pensive Robyn, dressed in her finest polyester floral blouse and black slacks, just sittin’ on a red bench on Coyote Pass, pondering about how she likes to come out there and survey her land, decide where to put the moat, etc.  And the funny thing is?  Janelle is living there too!  But every time Robyn comes out there, Janelle is gone!  But if Janelle was home?  Robyn surely would toddle over to say hello!  But – it just never works out!  What a freaking weird, non-sensical and meaningless bit that was…what was the point?  That Robyn’s trying?  Sure, Jan.  Go back to bed, Kody’s almost done hand-peeling your grapes, your majesty.

We wrap this up with Kody telling Christine that A. – she needs to give Kody the proceeds of her eventual house sale so Kody can put it towards paying off Coyote Pass, and B. – that unless Christine agrees to 50/50 custody of Truely, the state of Utah is going to assume ownership of their child, a fact that he himself admits that he pulled out of the “nanosphere.”  Christine calmly assures us in an interview that neither of those things are going to happen and if Kody lawyers up, she will too.  I’m sure she knows, as do we all, that Kody **** Brown is far too lazy and cheap to actually get a lawyer to fight for a kid he barely remembers he even sired, so he’s just a frizzy hairball of empty threats and stupidity.  Christine has gone from keep-sweet whisper wife to a woman who seems eager to burn Kody to the ground, and I am here for it – better late than never, girlfriend. 

So, to recap – 4 crushed children, two segments so supremely uncomfortable that I wanted to punch my tv screen just to remove Kody **** Browns's face from it, and one ex-wife who finally saw the light.

Wow.  I am tired, this was longer than intended.  My fingers hurt from rage-typing.  I need wine and a nap.

[Meri Brown and her Wet Bar of Tears]

I need to see who eventually shows up at this shindig of Meri's.  Even her most rabid fans, I doubt, would be able to come up with 6 grand to hang with her for a weekend.  I have to imagine that a huge part of this action-packed weekend is going to be sitting in a dark room while Meri presents a slide show about how you too can join her downline and become a #BossBabe and #LiveYourWhy.

The question is, will Meri film any of this for her Insta?  And if/when it fails miserably, will she pretend it never happened or make up some excuse as to why she suddenly had to cancel?

[Meri Brown and her Wet Bar of Tears]

On 10/13/2022 at 1:44 PM, the-grey-lady said:

One thing I've wondered about Meri: does she actually try to see Kody and make an attempt to fix her marriage, or does she just hope he'll miss her and will make the effort himself?

I think ol' Mere is willing to stick it out until the other three wives bail, and Kody will have no choice but to be drawn back to her cold, empty, California King-sized bed.  

She waited out Christine - she's gone.  Janelle would be next if she's 1/16th as smart as we'd like to think she is.  Robyn will then be stuck with this gel-scrunching man-baby for eternity and she's already erased one ex-husband from existence - who's to say she wouldn't do it again?  That leaves Meri.....shining bright, big smile, brown tooth, arms folded, in fetching cobra-printed leggings and an XS denim vest, waiting for Kody to come crawling back for some of those sweet, sweet Rice Krispie treats.

[S17.E06: Telling Truely]

I would've happily watched a three-part episode consisting of Kody backing the RV into the allotted space on Coyote Pass, ignoring Gabe's pleas to STOP DAD STOP!!, watching Kody roll the RV's wheels off a slight embankment, whereupon the trailer flips sideways along with the truck Kody is in, launching him head first into Plague Pond.

All that to say, I am completely shocked that Kody didn't purposefully mangle the backing in of the RV just to prove again how harried he is, how these shrewish women constantly ask him to do hard things, and that he never wanted Janelle to have that RV In the first place.  Janelle was taking a massive risk putting that moron behind the wheel of that truck.

[Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)]

21 hours ago, Salacious Kitty said:

More stuff her kids would have loved. 

I hate you, Jill 

1,000%.  I can't imagine my husband and I taking off for Great Wolf Lodge or Cedar Point as an anniversary trip when our kids were young and leaving them at home.  That's just plain freaking cruel.

But in my imagination, there are some good neighbors near the Rods who keep an eye out for when Ma and Pa Grifter take off on yet another vacation, leaving their tired, uneducated brood to fend for themselves....and those neighbors call other neighbors, and they bring over a massive chicken dinner with all the fixings, hide all evidence of said meal, and help them clean the house and then take them all out for ice cream.

[S17.E06: Telling Truely]

On 10/16/2022 at 11:58 PM, Elizzikra said:

 LOVED that Christine asked if Truely would have her own room there since all of Robyn's children have their own rooms. 

I wanted Christine to say "Truely could take Robyn's spare gift-wrapping room in the East Wing, down the hall from the theater and through the library" or something like that, just to be snarky.  But seriously, how many bedrooms does Robyn's mansion actually have, if each kid has their own room and there's potentially a room just for Truely?  That alone would be seven bedrooms.  That's insane.  But I don't doubt it.

On 10/17/2022 at 8:21 AM, dariafan said:

Kody complaining about the rv so much.  I think it’s because he would have nowhere to hide in there.  He would have to engage somewhat.

Exactly.  He kept talking about how the RV is "teeny-tiny."  It's not.  A tent is teeny-tiny.  This thing has two bedrooms and two bathrooms.  I think Kody is confusing one teeny-tiny thing for something else altogether.

18 hours ago, deirdra said:

Kootie responded that the dogs stay outside so that he can commune with his wife, though he also said he wouldn't stay in the RV.  

THIS is Kody Brown in a nutshell - "You have to do things my way in order for me to allow you to momentarily bask in my presence, but even if you do everything exactly as I ask, I'm not going to do what I promised anyway and I reserve the right to change my rules at any time."

Janelle may have laughed off Kody's comments about her dogs staying outside (outside - on a plot of land called COYOTE Pass) but as of the previous episode, she was filmed asking him if he would still stay with her in the RV, so she's not as la-di-da about it as she seems.  Until she drop-kicks her hunky ponytailed surfer man to the curb for treating her sons like garbage, she can go jump in Prairie Plague Pond.

[Christine Brown Woolley: Nacho Sister Wife Anymore]

On 10/2/2022 at 6:10 AM, ginger90 said:

Just saw this picture and I had to do a double-take to recognize Savannah.  I have literally NEVER seen her with such a genuinely happy smile in any pictures or on the show.  And yet, Kody says that Christine didn't love her family enough - what he meant, of course, is that she loved everyone in her family but she didn't love Robyn enough.  I hope it keeps Kody up at night, rocking back and forth in his Ed Hardy bedazzled closet, that his offspring adore the wife he declared didn't love them.

Christine might not have a man, but she's got a dozen or more adult kids that would likely drop whatever they were doing if she needed their help.  Kody has Robyn.  Who wins, Kody?

[S17.E05: The Last Family Gathering]

1 hour ago, Rabbit Hutch said:

I don't understand "the last family gathering".  For me, that would have already occurred when ALL of the kids were together for the last time,  not just the last in and close-ish to Flagstaff.  🤔

Exactly - this party was missing Logan, Paedon, Leon, Maddie, Hunter and Aspyn.  Kody, to no one's surprise, failed miserably when he declared that Flagstaff would be the mecca to which his adult children would flock whenever he summoned them forth to gather at his knee.  And now Ysabel is out of there too.  Great job, Patriarch.  

23 minutes ago, magemaud said:

Why can't Janelle move the RV to a campground for just enough time to reset the 120 days restriction instead of keeping it on their plots? 

First of all, that would be far too logical for this clown posse.  But second, I might pay money to watch Kody drive that Big Daddy truck attached to Janelle's behemoth RV and try to back it into a spot without taking out a few trees, running over Janelle's foot, and maybe knocking over a nearby camper or two.

[Maddie Brown: Seeking a One-Woman Man]

That might be the most naturally happy I've ever seen Axel in a photo. :)

[Meri Brown and her Wet Bar of Tears]

21 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

How many photos did Meri take of herself pretending to laugh before she captured just the right amount of fake joy with a minimal amount of her meaty upper arm holding the selfie stick?  I'm going to guess she took no less than 25 photos and spent about two hours filtering and crafting her deep thoughts.  What a joke.

I loved how one of the comments said something like "happy people use sunscreen."

21 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

I’d rather put $6k towards a trip to the UK than spend one minute with this miserable, jealous, self-absorbed, polyester-wearing, obnoxiously loud old bag. 

For real, there are so many fantastic vacations one could take with 6 grand.  That said, I need for at least a couple of people to take her up on this offer so we can see pictures of Meri and these complete strangers pretending to guffaw over a bowl of Rice Krispies, or forcing out a hearty chortle when Meri allows them to participate in the first 5 minutes of Fridays with Friends and then shoves them out of camera range.

[S17.E05: The Last Family Gathering]

I needed a Kody-to-Common-Sense translator for this episode.

 

Spoiler

Previously on Pathetic Polygamist Patriarch Sister Wives:

Kody hates Christine but doesn’t want her to leave because it makes him look bad, and he suddenly remembers he has a daughter named Truely for whom he wants 50/50 custody when Christine moves to Utah to hook up with her Brown-money stealing boyfriend who doesn’t exist except in Kody’s own warped brain.  I think I have that right and if I do, I’m scared that I know this much about the inner workings of Kody Brown’s head – it’s a very dark and twisted place to be.

We begin tonight’s episode with a lovely panoramic mountain scene, which I immediately take as shade on Meri’s plea to Christine to “look at the mountains” but I’m not sure if the TLC producers are that clever.  Kody tells us that he’s on the fast track to divorcing Christine (not sure how that works when they were never legally married) and that he fills separate from the entire family because of it.  I think he’s just pissy that Christine, by leaving, is taking Kody’s ego with her and he’d prefer to just drive around in his lil’ baby man truck listening to Air Supply and ignoring everyone…and Kody wonders why he’s failing as Famb’ly Patriarch.  ‘Tis a mystery.

He drives to Janelle’s house in his deceased brother’s big MANLY truck that he purchased from his sister-in-law.  Kody says that he’s glad he has the truck but he won’t drive it around that much for reasons that I couldn’t understand, but Janelle is slobbering all over that truck.  She’s not afraid of driving that bad boy all over Flagstaff.  Think of the crates of Plexus she could haul in that thing.  Robyn pops up in a burgundy polyester blouse with white flowers, circa late '70's Sears catalog, and half-laughs that they didn’t need this truck but Kody bought it anyway.  Betcha Kody spent a few nights on the couch for that particular transaction.

Kody whines that he now has to move his crap out of Janelle’s house because clearly, his gun collection won’t fit in that stupid RV that she insisted on buying.  Apparently Kody has a lot of crap because he purchases four of everything he owns to keep at various wives’ houses, to which I say - no wonder these morons are broke.  The hair care products alone could probably stock half a Walgreens.  He goes on to Kody-‘splain that Janelle would need to move her RV every 4 months to comply with the law, so she needs to ask permission from the other wives if it’s okay for her park that beast on their land.  I think it’s cute that any of them are still pretending that it matters at all, since as Janelle states, they’ve owned the land for three years and haven’t done a darn thing on the property except for dig a giant hole to throw Sol into and have deeply disturbing conversations between Kody and his sons.  Meri opines that she doesn’t necessary want an RV pad on her property, while Christine has zero f**** to give about any of it.  Janelle tells us that that’s Kody for you – always making things 100 times harder than they have to be.  You don't say.

We segue into a sad Meri, and while I do feel for her and it’s difficult to hear that she’s been staying at Lizzie’s Olde Timey Ghost Emporium alone since her mom passed, she is also the creator of her loneliness by constantly complaining that she doesn’t fill connected to her family while at the same time doing nothing to remedy it.  Again, these people – constantly jumping over the elephants in every room, any time they are together…from the pretend houses on Coyote Pass, to Kody suddenly wanting Christine to stay even though he’s ignored her for 20 years, to Janelle pushing for the RV as a way to get those houses built…it boggles the mind.  Meri states that Kody suggested that she just move on into the B&B, but that was never Meri’s intention (which I doubt – she may not have wanted to permanently move in but she’s certainly using it as a hideout, much like Kody and Coyote Pass, Janelle in her RV, and Robyn in her mansion).  Gee, I cannot figure out why these people don’t have any connection anymore.  Hey, Patriarch?  Got any ideas?

Speaking of our Patriarch, he finally decides to remember that he has a blonde kid named Ysabel, and picks her up for some dad and random kid time on the very day that Christine is working her ass off to get her house ready for Ysabel’s graduation/birthday party when the logical thing to do would be for Kody to, like, come over to HELP.  Christine, girl – I know you already know you’re making the right decision but this is exactly what I would expect Kody Brown to do on a busy and important day such as this…escape any actual work by doing the thing he should’ve been doing all along – spending time with Ysabel – knowing that Christine can’t say anything about it since she knows if she pushed back, he’d be all stomping his feet and saying, “you tell me I never spend time with her so now I am and you’re mad!”  I mean, I wanted to reach through my screen and smack his weave off so I can only imagine how Christine put up with this for so long.  Girl, run.  Run and fly.  You’re free.

We get brief, refreshing and candid interviews with Ysabel, Mykelti and Tony regarding the state of Kody and Christine’s marriage.  Ysabel is sad but saw it coming.   Mykelti is relieved, since it’s clear to her that her parents don’t love each other, and Tony says that it was inevitable (I love Tony and his big words that he occasionally uses correctly in a sentence) because no man is perfect enough to keep up with four wives.  Kody pops up and tells us that he’s lonely and bitter because he doesn’t have the respect from his family anymore…to which, again, I want to punch him (and I am not a violent person, I swear).  Sir?  You earn respect.  It’s not given automatically because you climb a dirt hill on your empty property and scream to the assembled prairie dogs that you are the head of your family.  Can prairie dogs laugh out loud, I wonder?

The lovely, ethereal, strong and beautiful Ysabel has her party.  Everyone is allowed to hug now because they’ve all either had Covid tests or been vaccinated.  It was nice to see the kids enjoy each other’s company, but we have to hear from sad clown Kody about how he’s wondering how it all went wrong.  Sigh.  Kody expresses delight in Ysabel’s 17th birthday, except that she’s actually turning 18.  I cannot with this man.  Kody blathers some random nonsense about girls who have a Sweet 16 party because they’ve never been kissed, and something about trust and lust, but at this point I’ve completely tuned him out.  Listening to him talk is like listening the teacher in the Peanuts cartoons: “Wah Wah Wah.”  (If you don’t know the reference, kindly remove yourself from my lawn).

At the party, Aurora plays guitar and Christine “sings” the song “Unwritten” for Ysabel.  While I loved the idea, Christine – well, she tries.  Brianna surprises me with having a decent singing voice, and also that for a hot second I thought it was Robyn up there singing – those two could be twins except that Robyn dresses like my grandma in 1972.  Various adults ponder why they can’t have this fun-loving family back, and why it has to end…look no further to the curly-headed guy sitting in a chair wondering who all these people are and whose party he’s at.  We end with that same dork telling us how weird it is that he’s getting left by Christine (ignoring the fact that he left her years ago).  Now that his family is imploding before his eyes, he’s starting to question this whole polygamy thing. Um, idiot?  You’re too late.  It failed because of you.  And the thing is – everyone who leaves you will be just fine, it’s your ego that can’t take the hits.  Go back to Robyn’s and pretend to be mystified as to where it all went wrong.  Also, Robyn likes her noon wake-up coffee with cream and two sugars, her toast slightly well-done, served on a silver tray with a freshly-cut flower.  And Ariabelliola is climbing the chandelier again.  Enjoy.  Peace out.

[Meri Brown and her Wet Bar of Tears]

On 10/5/2022 at 2:06 PM, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

Golly sign me up, I can pitchur the itinerary.......

Okay, I signed you up.  I also requested that you be allowed to participate in Friday With Friends (once you're good and drunk) so you can report here on what those knee-slapping ROTFLMAO inside jokes are all about.  I need to know!  I am so jealous at the wacky fun Meri and Just Jen always seem to have!  Maybe also you could teach them how to use their phones since they always seem to spend the first ten minutes trying to connect to each other, LOL - those crazy gals.

[S17.E04: And Then There Were Three]

3 hours ago, Granny58 said:

A patriarch should be attentive to all the needs of all wives, emotional, financial, physical, yet he has failed on all these fronts. 

And yet, he declared as Christine was exiting stage right that he shall now become the Brown Family Patriarch to whoever is left over and doesn't already hate him, so....Robyn and her kids, I guess.

As stated above, a patriarch really should at least pretend to care about those under his dominion or whatever.  The fact that he said that at all was just Kody clinging to the two shreds of manhood he still has left.  He must be a literal nightmare to live with, and I am so glad Robyn is the one stuck with him.

[Meri Brown and her Wet Bar of Tears]

I volunteer as tribute!  I would love to stay with Meri, but only if I can watch her put on her makeup - I have to know how she does her brows.  

What is this, though - a giveaway for a free stay at Ye Olde Lizzy Inn?  Or is she just fishing? 

[S17.E04: And Then There Were Three]

Why did Kody even bother channeling his inner Joe Darger, thumping his chest and declaring that going forward the family was going to exist under his patriarchy?  What was the point?  Christine is out, she doesn't care,  Meri is nothing more than a nasty rash on Kody's left butt cheek that he can't get rid of, so it doesn't apply to her.  Kody has to know that it's not going to fly for Janelle, and he thinks he's already got Robyn under his control (it's actually the other way around, but such are Robyn's powers that Kody doesn't know it).  Who is he going to rule over?  His hair?  His guns?  His reflection in the mirror?  It's like he's shouting from the dirt mound on Coyote Pass proclaiming his kingship over a land full of tumbleweeds.  No one cares, idiot.

[Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)]

12 hours ago, crazy8s said:

jill has a post up for "excellent, diligent and sweet" hannah's 14th birthday. Have the eyebrows been altered?

DANG IT, Jill got at her.  I don't get why turning 14 is the rite of passage to get your perfectly lovely eyebrows plucked into 1984.  Hopefully Jill doesn't make it some weird ceremony with candles and cloaks and chanting.  I hate how it morphs the younger girl into a carbon copy of her older, sadder sisters.

I'm surprised Jill has never blogged about this, because it's such a dramatic change in the girl's appearance, IMO - it makes them appear instantly older.  You'd think she would want everyone to know that in the plucking of the eyebrows, she's got another girl on the husband market or whatever.

[S17.E04: And Then There Were Three]

17 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

Christine did get in one zinger though. When Janelle, of all people, stated concern about Truly losing the closeness she had with King Sol and Arianna by moving, Christine said that Truly will be with the people she is closest to and love her the most and rattled off the names of all the family she had living in Utah. Loved it!

I am so glad that Christine shot that down.  Sure, Truly might enjoy hanging out with Sol and Ari, but since Kody's Covid-Nineteen Protoculls, how often was she even allowed to do that?  My guess is that she'd rarely seen Sol and Ari in the past two years.  So who is Truly closest to?  Her siblings, of course.  And I am thrilled that Christine calmly pointed that out.

I was actually pissed at Janelle for saying that to Christine in the first place - to me, it was Janelle's way of bowing down to Robyn yet again (I think these women are so used to curtseying to the Queen that they don't even realize they're doing it sometimes) and by doing so, showing deference to Kody as well.  Truly is going to be closest to the people who she saw all the time, the people that love her unconditionally - her siblings.  I'm sure Sol and Ari also love Truly but Robyn always made sure that no one got too close to her kids...that way, she's got them trapped in her little cliquey bubble, and she can tell Kody how sad her kids are that they aren't closer to their step-siblings when that was her plan all along, giving Kody yet another reason to dislike his bonus kids, making him spend more time with Robyn and her kids.

Maybe I'm giving Robyn too much credit, but I don't think I am - I really think she's that devious, that calculated, that manipulative.  I wouldn't put it past her to tell Sol and Ari that Truly would love to come over and play with them but Truly's mommy is very bad and isn't following daddy's rules, so she can't.  All of Robyn's kids are going to need lots and lots of therapy one day.