sashabear21

How will we really know this Ethan is truly Luke's son and not an impostor if we don't see him and Luke drinking whiskey the exact same way? And this seems surprisingly low stakes, I mean when the character was introduced on the show however many years ago, I'm pretty sure most of the viewing audience would have taken him off Victor's hands for free.

Brooke seems like a very well-adjusted person. Does she have and should she have complicated issues related to her mother? Absolutely. And what she went through with her is an incredibly specific situation. I think Brooke has been able to very admirably move on and while she doesn't like to say that she was exploited, she's pretty adamant that her own daughters would never be subjected to the things she was as a child. Also, she's raising her daughters unlike Tom "I know the history of postpartum depression!" Cruise.

Yes, lurk is the word I should have used, not trolled. I just remember there was a line on one of the last episodes of OLTL about posters on the “Movies without Remorse” boards or something to that effect.

I liked RC when he first started because he actually used the show's vets, knew some of the show's history, and took Saint Jasus and the mob off the front burner, but he never knew when to end a joke before it was completely and utterly run into the ground with horses dragging it's corpse. The Faison/Duke mask reveal was great and soapy and then suddenly everyone had a mask! Then it seemed like half the canvas had DID (which he had already run into the ground on OLTL). Spencer calling the other kids "townies" which was old after the first time but continued for a good long while. Also there was the retelling of stories that had been good in their original form but were needlessly campy the second go round like "Pickle Lila". I'm guessing Ron probably feels like he's owed some apologies but it's probably the other way around, most especially for the viewers who had to watch the nauseating pairing of Luke and Anna. I'm pretty sure he's unbelievably thin-skinned as well because if memory serves he was trolling the OLTL boards on TWOP back in the day.

Cam to Laura: I feel very grateful to have you and Scott as my grandparents. Me (loud enough to be heard somewhere in Nevada): Because Luke sucks!!!!

I remember VR.5 and Prey! (my younger self would have watched Adam Storke read a phone book). Maybe they should have the giant babies fight in a cage match at the Nurses Ball, grand prize could be a car since they’ll both be driving soon. Couldn’t be worse than whatever secondhand embarrassment cringe fest awaits us. Nurses Ball used to have camp and heart but it’s just been camp ever since it was brought back.

He stole used cooking oil?? I swear the Simpsons really do predict everything!

All this talk about the Carlys being pigs makes me wonder if Michael and Willow will be serving truffles at their wedding.

So Ava Jerome, part of the Jerome crime family, who once murdered Kate Howard and framed AJ for it without breaking a nail, now has the poker face of a teenager that just got caught smoking behind the gym? Jeez, just get "I killed Nikolas!" tattooed on your face already. Willow sucks, and she and Michael don't deserve a friend like Sasha. Also they're both criminally stupid for not even attempting to find a donor outside of the registry. "Well, we tried the registry and Nina's not a match because she's a terrible horrible person, and we've tried absolutely nothing else and we're all out of ideas". I hope they bring Nelle back from the dead and she's a match and she tells them she'll give them her bone marrow if they leave PC and never come back, then she steals her kidney back from Joss, and kidnaps Wiley and rides out into the sunset. Thus solving a few problems with this show.

Spencer was great today but Laura said it best when she reminded him that Nik is also a grown man who made some pretty bad decisions, manipulation by Ryan and Esme aside (and they don't even know yet about him keeping Esme locked up in the tower yet). LOL at Heather wanting to be co-grammies with Laura! Curtis going over to confront Jordan today was infinitely stupid. Even though he is all up in his own pain, she's the police commissioner and they did catch 2 serial killers last night so it maybe should have occurred to him that she might be a little too busy for his trifling paternity drama. Portia should have just gone on the honeymoon by herself, she could be in Tuscany drowning her sorrows in wine, pasta, and Italian men! Joss needs to recuse herself from giving relationship advice to anyone. Okay actually the first thing she needs to do is burn that shirt she was wearing because it was seriously fug, and then she needs to recuse herself from giving anyone relationship advice.

Gotta love Heather all, "I killed this person, this person, this person, but no I didn't kill that guard!" I mean really Heather, it's kinda like once you've already got 4 cats it's not really that big of a deal to adopt one more. Does Scotty not read the news, get news alerts on his phone, have whatever Port Charles's answer to Twitter is? (For some reason I really hope it's called something ridiculous, like "Chuckles", but then again I also don't because the joke would get run into the ground real quick). The collective brain trust of Dex and Joss is as dumb as ever so this should go well. I'm not a baby person, but man that incredibly large "newborn" baby is adorable! Sonny, I inexplicably like you now but stop with the stupid threats towards a deranged lunatic who is already in policy custody! You're much better as wise old sage Sonny than stompy tantrum "don't mess with my fambily" Sonny. Now if Jordan forgets to lock the cell door or the handcuffs, or really just forgets that Heather's supposed to be in custody entirely then maybe you can make good on some threats.

Today was a grim reminder that there's other characters in this show. Did we really need scenes of Sam and the hayloft hobo recounting his entire backstory? Sasha's scenes with Heather were okay but she's out of her element with Heather. It reminded me of the Simpsons episode of Hamlet where Lisa's all, "No one out-crazies Ophelia!". You can tell Drew has been hanging out with Carly too much since he's wearing smug self-righteousness like a second skin. Nina is allowed to have her feelings Drew, and she's allowed to feel hurt and angry right now. I'm pretty hurt and angry myself that the writers saddled her with Willow for a daughter. Lol forever at stupid Joss with her, "my mom pretended a lot with Sonny!" Please child, if Carly heard of an illegal shipment of anything coming in she would have been down at the docks twirling light up orange batons like a one woman ground crew to help the boat park.

The vets were on fire today! Felicia and Mac's relief at Ryan being "dead" but also with enough self-awareness to know Kevin might have some mixed-up emotions about it and supporting their friend was good acting and writing that we don't get often enough on this show. A lot of high notes today with Laura helping with Esme's labor and acting as a surrogate mother (especially since Esme got the news about who her biological mother was while she was in labor and her horror at that was well played) and Scotty acting as a surrogate dad to Liz, who while her parents aren't serial killers are still pretty horrible. Portia and Taggert's scenes were also really well done with both acknowledging that there were mistakes on both sides and him letting her know that while he was still upset with her it was more important that they focus on Trina and that he will always be her father, DNA test or not. I mean seriously did they not know they were on GH where these types of stories almost always involve broken barware and two pages of dialogue that's just "LIES!!" and "BETRAYAL!!" written over and over in 40 point font?? I think Spencer's life just got a whole lot more complicated.

I'm halfway going "Shoot him Ava! Use every bullet in the gun, then pick up some of the wood from that tree trunk and stake him in the heart just in case!" and then the other half of me is like, "Don't shoot him! He's more interesting than at least half the characters on this show!". How were we given the gift of this many days without the She-beast and her offspring? I mean I'm sure it'll turn out to be a gift we'll end up paying for, like 3 weeks of Willow languishing on her deathbed until she's miraculously cured by Michael's true love and they have a wedding at whatever shoddy backlot set they can have pretend to be Disneyland. Or possibly something even dumber involving those two. Curtis finally mustered up some emotion in his scenes with Marshall. I've seen people get more irritated at a bus running 30 seconds late than he did about a 20 year paternity lie in his scenes with Portia. Even though the chances were slim to none anyways, I guess this really means Joss won't get hooked. *sigh* Nice use of veterans in this story GH! And thank you for not having Olivia figure the whole thing out with one of her visions!!

I've thankfully managed to miss out on this as I only use Instagram to follow about 50 cats, a few dogs, and a couple of barnyard animals (watching baby goats wearing pajamas will make even the worst day better). I think if I looked at comments about GH anywhere other than this board it would cause my eyes to roll directly out of my head. Pre-Nina flailing jazz hands rageaholic Sonny was the worst. Sam and Dante are dumb. I break out into a cold sweat anytime I hear Sonny reference his sister or Spencer mention his mother.

It may be tacky for Portia to be getting married with a WTD secret, but it's still not as tacky as that extra wearing a white dress that looked pretty bridal to the wedding! Seriously has Sonny's mafia started smuggling weed gummy bears and the wardrobe team ate them all? Sonny and Nina were cute (what is wrong with me???) as were Spencer and Trina (although leave Stella alone Trina! What is it with this family and their inability to take no as an answer? If Trina wanted to be a busybody she could have used those skills to spill a glass of Cabernet on the extra wearing white instead) Shut up Joss Ryan and Heather are fun, although I don't think I could take them every day. They're best in small doses and I like Alley Mills in the role. I once saw a tourist shop close to a train station in Ireland and the window display was two leprechaun mannequins wearing fright wigs and fighting with shillelaghs and even that wasn't as overdone as Maggie's accent.

Did the wardrobe team go on strike before filming this wedding? Terri, Nina, and Molly were the only ones who looked decent. Joss's dress looked like it came off a Forever 21 clearance rack and was the wrong size, Trina's dress looked unfinished, and Liz and Ava both looked like they were headed to the after party at Studio 54. Also are we supposed to be entertained by the lowest stakes WTD storyline in the history of soaps? Joss is a brat and Spencer shouldn't have apologized to her. Someone needs to smack her on the back of the head and tell her to stop rolling her eyes and pull up her damn dress. Sam and Dante are boring and there's nothing more embarrassing than watching Americans try to pretend to be British but watching Dante try a British accent and get a right bollocking for his efforts would be more entertaining than watching him and Sam talking and trying to pretend they like each other. Still confounded these days by how much I don't hate Sonny anymore.

Makes sense, I missed a lot of the reintroduction of Elizabeth's parents and got distracted by things going on outside of my window that were more interesting than that storyline, like birds flying by. It just seemed weird they brought Elizabeth's mom in to be the catalyst that pushed Liz over the edge of being furious with Nik when there's *waves hands frantically* a whole lot of other things that could have done it. Sonny and Nina as co-grandparents is kind of cute and I can't believe Sonny is not the character I hate most anymore. I wish Joss and Carly would eat bees.

Did Liz’s mom just come back to take the blinders off Liz as to what Great Value Nik was up to? Does the woman even know she has 3 grandsons? It would have been kind of hilarious if Cam had walked in when she was leaving Kelly’s after running into Liz last week and asked “Who the hell was that?”

I really wish Michael would have stayed angry at Carly long enough to name this kid Alaina Brenda Robin Reese Quartermaine.

Willow being ignorant of science and dismissive of her doctors would track with being raised in a cult if the writers would actually play it that way, but instead it's "I'm pure of heart and everything is for the baby!!!!". I wish Nina not being a match would mean they could retcon it that Sasha is actually her daughter since she's more interesting than Willow and is actually nice to Nina. I really like that they're showing actual friendships on this show, Ava and Nina, Nina and Sasha, Alexis, Felicia, and Lucy, Spencer, Cam and Trina, Laura with everyone except Victor. It really shows how Carly doesn't really have friendships with anyone (Olivia is a mouthpiece but not really a friend) and Joss has basically trashed all her friendships. Which brings me to things I liked this week. *insert Vince McMahon reaction meme* Laura interacting with Elizabeth, Laura interacting with Martin, Laura giving Victor the what for, Laura on a caper with Felicia, Robert, Anna, Valentin, Lucy, Martin and Alexis!! The character and actress were done such a disservice for years by multiple writing teams while TG was on his hate boner for L&L so it makes me happy to see GF and Laura getting good stories and interacting with a lot of the cast and being set up as the matriarch of the show as it should be!

Joss sucks. Remember when characters who wanted to become doctors actually did things at the hospital other than just sit around and prop Carly?

Esme to Heather, "Hey I just met you and this is crazy...and yeah that's it, that's the entire song". Dear Portia and Curtis, the man said no, stop being assholes and accept it and move on. Also stop being gross about your honeymoon. You're both adults and can therefore bang with impunity so you don't need a honeymoon as an excuse. Spencer just has everyone's number. He saw right through Joss and knows Cam is going to be too quick to forgive her when Spencer suspects there's more going on with that breakup. I have an idea I'm also going to love his team up with Ava. The writers and actor have used Spencer's backstory and really made him into an interesting character and I think this is what bothers me so much about Michael and Willow. Both Michael and Willow have backstories that should give them tons of layers, Michael was kept away from his biological father's family and raised in the mob and Willow was taken from her biological family and raised in a cult. Michael should really be a shades of gray character, but he's only allowed to stay angry at Sonny and Carly for anything for about 5 seconds (and usually for the wrong reasons) and Willow should have some serious issues from how she was raised but all she does is just sit around and be pure of heart and likes whatever Michael likes and doesn't like whatever Michael doesn't like and that's not a personality trait! There's so many directions they could have taken these two characters and instead they're just wallpaper paste. I actually like Sonny with Nina, he's softer with her and I think the actors enjoy working together. Hopefully he can keep Nina from losing a few marbles if the bone marrow doesn't match. His trying to calm her down with "You know Donna needs a lollipop at the doctor, can I get you anything?" was oddly charming. It's way better than watching him and Carly scream at each other. There's really nothing I can add about the hellbeast and her justifications that hasn't already been said. The whole Fronch storyline is boring. Just bring Lucy back so she can have scenes with Colonel Tad.

Poor Nina, finally finds out she has a living child and it turns out that child has all the personality of soggy toast.

Nina telling Carly, "You're a monster" is a thing of beauty! I want gifs, I want reaction shots, I want disembodied DJ voices from the 90's telling me to pump up the volume!