Alapaki

From a CDC study reported in the New York Times:

It was pretty disturbing to hear Kody, who at that point was most likely situated directly in front of his own daughter's bare vagina, yelling "oh YEAH!, oh YEAH!". And all joking aside, Caleb should really keep the baseball cap on.

So many nits to pick: 1. Glenn was surprised Whitney had so much trouble in the 8k "given all her training". That? Is BULLSHIT. A couple of leisurely walks in the park with friends (which actually had Whitney complaining) and a trip to the pool where she spent more time making weirdly sexual faces at her father than actually swimming is not "training" for a distance race. Training for a distance race consists of gradually and methodically increasing your distance in a disciplined way so that by the time of the race you've actually done that distance already, or done close enough to that distance for the adrenaline of the actual race to make up the difference. We know Whitney didn't train like that because if she did we would've seen or heard about it. 2. Setting aside Buddy's newly-sober propensity to see "addiction" everywhere, he was absolutely right about how Whitney stopping the race. A cardinal rule of distance running/walking is that there are certain pains and discomforts (specifically skeletal, tendon, ligament, etc.) that you don't push through. That's a recipe for a more serious injury that will bench you and set back your progress even further than stopping the race when you have the discomfort. 3. Whitney talking about "finishing" the race and posting a time. I've looked online but couldn't find out if the Coconut Chase 8K has a minimum pace requirement. Maybe it's just never been an issue before. But in any distance race that I'm familiar with (starting with half-marathons) Whitney's pace would've had her pulled off the course by race officials at one of the time-checks. 4. I'll defend Glenn a little bit on the cat and grandchild thing. I realize he's using shitty examples, but I think the point he's trying to get across is "grow the fuck up!". Alas, a lot of the shit he put up with from Whitney this week demonstrates that he's one of the reasons for this pathetic hump's infantilization.

I think Lauren’s next thought will be her first. Was Arie ever asked what he would have done if Lauren had refused to talk to him when he reached out?

I don't think TPTB were doing Becca any favors in making her the Bachelorette. They were buying her agreement not to completely torch Arie and Lauren. Same deal with the flunkies Chris talked to earlier. "Ladies, a lot of people criticized us for airing Becca getting dumped. Do you agree? And, before you answer, remember that we haven't finalized our casting for Paradise yet."

Given the size of that blur-out? Three-Mile Island

@Irate Panda panda is correct re: the periods. But I was thinking the same thing as far as just basic daily hygiene. She can't be april-fresh on a good day. Add in the heat of Hawaii, the salt water of her "surfing" safari and the dolphin swim, and I think the reason Todd was dry-heaving was because his face was 18 inches from a Superfund site.

Todd needs a #metoo shirt. Did anyone else notice how Whitney barked out at her producer "do we have a medic standing by"? Besides another example of her being shitty to her crew, it was a thinly veiled indirect to make Glenn feel guilty. And while it could very well be a medic provided by the race organizers, it sounded like production was preparing for a visit ahead of time. There were a few clips of them walking in the middle of a field. And thanks to the poster upthread who marked up the map of where Whitney stopped and talked with the Army guy. That was waaaay off the trail. I'm guessing by that point the race organizers had to re-open the course. It may have been Glenn's idea to take his wife to Hawaii for a 40th Anniversary present. But I firmly believe that TLC made Whitney's participation in this race a condition of her getting another season. Glenn just agreed to be the fall guy.

I'm finding myself just sitting and staring at that photo of Whitney sitting on the sand like it's one of those 3D Art Posters. Who's knees are concave?

Could anyone tell what word Caroline (I know, who?) was complaining about Krystal calling the other women? It looked like it started with a "t", but I couldn't read her lips for the rest of the word. Speaking of words that start with T. I wish Tia would go away. But I'm afraid we're going to see a lot more of her. She got the faux-profound "you really fell in love with this guy/girl, didn't you?" question.

Fucking Whitney used that lunch with her family to get on her fat-shaming-victimhood soapbox. She really has her routine down. So the price Glenn had to pay for this trip was that he gets to be the big, bad fat-shamer. When all he really wants is a daughter who can dress herself.

And from the previews she's doing the "race" in a Pair. Of. Fucking. Flip. Flops! She's a joke.

The way they set up that whole dynamic at lunch was screwed up. Since Ashley wanted to see if Jocelyn would bring up the sex, presumably she told Dmitri not to bring it up first. But Jocelyn, understandably, would've felt reluctant to bring it up without knowing how much Dmitri had told Ashley. I mean, "oh, we had some awesome sushi. then I tried a saki shot! and, umm, what else? oh yeah, Dmitri threw me a great D". I do think that Jocelyn should've asked Dmitri at the time whether Ashley was okay with them "being intimate". But I don't doubt that, if she did ask, he told her Ashley was fine with it. Ultimately that whole "relationship" is so bizarre I'm having a hard time believing it's real and not just entirely crafted just to get them on the show. But I keep coming back to why anyone would want to depict themselves in this way on TV.

When we were watching this my wife also said "why doesn't he just act like a patriarch and settle these arguments between the wives". It occurred to me that, while I'm sure Drew is indeed ball-less, the issue here is that he Just. Doesn't. Care. He has so little respect for these women, and places so little value on them as individuals, that the only time and way that their problems/difficulties/challenges/concerns impact him in any way is when they whine (in his mind) to him about them. He doesn't want the wives to get along for the sake of actually having a "family" that loves each other. He wants them to get along so he can stop having to listen to them bitch and moan about each other. In that sense, I think April has him figured out to a T. She knows that she can start disputes with low-key "indirecting" and passive-aggressive swipes (with a concerned furrow of her brow) and that it's Auralee or the other one who'll look like the trouble-makers when they blow up in response.

Dmitri is committing to finding a Sister Wife. Even if he has to go through every 22 year old in Atlanta. So first the Briney's prematurely tell their kids they were pregnant. Now they prematurely told them Mom might be dying. What the fuck with these people?

I've been thinking of how to articulate the ways in which Whitney bastardizes the HAES philosophy. But this video does it pretty well. HAES says that some people, despite eating healthy and exercising appropriately, will still register as "overweight" or "obese". Since there is no good statical evidence showing increased morbidity or mortality for "overweight" or a certain degree of "obese", those people should not literally kill themselves with unsafe attempts to get the number on the scale down. WHITNEY and her ilk take that to mean: since I'll still be "overweight" or "obese" even if I eat healthy and exercise appropriately, I shouldn't even bother with those things and just "live my life". That's certainly a philosophy, but it isn't HAES. What so offensive about Whitney is that: 1) she now has a platform to influence other people to follow her misguided excuse for sloth and gluttony; and 2) she's lying about eating healthy and exercising appropriately to make it seem that she's an example of HAES, when she most certainly is not.

They do have their own language in Hawaii, Whitney, you ignorant beast! We didn't see Whitney actually try anything on at Lane Bryant. Of course none of that stuff fits her. But it did manage to make Babs look awful because of how baggy those outfits were on her. And have we ever heard Ashley ever mention Whitney being present during the birth? They keep replaying that audio of Whitney saying she could see the baby coming out, but if the hospital didn't allow filming, they certainly didn't allow audio.

Percentage of Physical Therapists that would recommend horse-back-riding to their patients with bad backs? Less than 0%. Percentage of (presumably) widwives who go right to "have you had miscarriages before" when they can't hear a heartbeat? Hopefully none beyond that woman!

To say nothing of his "this is between the wives, I'm staying out of it" attitude. This is all about the fact that this dickhead thinks he needs more than one wife! I'll reserve judgment a bit on the pregnancy issue until I have all the information. But, yeah. How in the hell does it get that far before you even bother to confirm the pregnancy? And if she really never was pregnant, but had some sort of cyst or tumor growing fast enough in her uterus to expand her belly, I'd be worried. I feel a little bad for how obsessed I am in laughing at Auralee's speech impediment. It's like watching Elmer Fudd. But I could swear that a couple of times this episode I heard April slip into that speech pattern as well.

Just watched . . . Did Ashley really say, upon hearing about the "intimacy": "it went down the wrong hole"? Heh!

Yeah. She was obviously, as the kids say, "throwing shade" at Ashley. BTW, thinking about what exactly Ashley would get out of this deal, Jocelyn is supposedly a flight attendant. Unless she's were committed to quit her job if/when she became a "sister wife", I don't think she'd be around that much to help out around the house.

With the Browns' idea of dancing . . . . does it matter? Lift with your legs, guys. Lift with your legs.

This show has gotten to the point where I gave up on the Real Housewives franchises. Just manufactured conflict after manufactured conflict. The only thing that keeps me watching is the fact that these women are simultaneously so little and so fucking fat that when they rant off it's just silly. Like a clown show. Of course, the fact that there are real babies and young children involved who's lives are fucked-from-birth because of what garbage their parents are is completely repulsive.

I agree with those upthread who suggest that much of this drama is faked. I'm guessing these folks know the game, and realize they have to give the show something to work with that's worth airing. What I can't quite understand is why they're faking storylines that make them look so ridiculous. I haven't watched this weeks' episode yet, but my favorite moment from last week was when Ashley/Dimitri and Jocelyn met and Ashley (as pregnant as she is and having pushed out a few kids already) asked Jocelyn (all Size 0 and 22 years old of her) whether she thought she'd experience jealousy. Jocelyn sort of looked down her nose, snorted, and said "Ummm, No."

Pretty much the entire last season. The fake pregnancy scare. The fake lesbian-for-a-day. The fake oops-I'm-dating-my-cousin. The fake radio internship. The fake dance competition. The fake dance competition re-match that Whitney cancelled. The fake going-on-tour-with-the-Fitness-Marshall. It does on and on.