Happyfatchick

I think I have a crush on Cosmo. I don’t know if I agree with age being only a number. Mine has suddenly become a large number. I’ve recently had 3 eye surgeries (2 surgeries and a laser). I need a knee replacement. I have back issues. I’ve recently been prescribed yet another medication. I own a pill divider like old people like my parents did. The ones I teased them about. I don’t need a mortgage, but if I did, I’m too Friggin OLD to get a 30 year mortgage. I work from home and make decent money, but also realize if I had to go get a paying job outside I’d have very limited options. This, from someone who was THE BOSS for most of my working life. and yet. On the inside, I’m 25. On the inside, I can work 36 hrs straight and driver on time. I can walk 5 miles and not cry when I see the stairs (upward) at the end. I can drive in the rain. I can watch Netflix all night and keep kids the next day. I can stand in front of a mirror and not think “who is THAT old woman???”. I have 2 grands who are very old souls. They’re 18 yr old cousins, but both around 35. My husband was born 50 years old. I told you I robbed the cradle - he’s ten years younger but 20 years older. The ONLY nod he makes to his own age is music. Other than Nirvana, he should have been on Medicaid for at least 20 years. Grumpy old fart.

Holy cow, the fact @Jeanne222 is 81 and active in a group like this is inspiring. I’m 61 and about 40 times a day I think “oh, I need to know _____. I’ll Google it”. By the time I locate the phone and pull up Google, I’ve totally forgotten what I wanted to know. I have a friend who says “just look on the Google”. SNORT!!! The Google. I never say anything different either, because I love it.

Glad you had a good trip!! I’m on the trip of a lifetime - maybe I said this already?? We’re headed to CA by the southern route, coming back through the north. It’s a nine week trip unless I don’t make it back for my grandsons graduation. I mean if I’m incapacitated or in jail... in which case I can just keep going indefinitely. Nine weeks, nine years: all the same. we are THIS MINUTE driving over the corner of Ponchartrain into NOLA. I totally meant to be talking about the shot. I felt absolutely NOTHING when I got stuck. Seriously nada. I wasn’t sure she’d even done it yet (because you know me: I was deep into a discussion about how she came to be there...). No pain, nothing. It was sore last night, like I’d lifted something heavy but I’m fine now. The Fauci Ouchy. Hahaha!!

Oh WOW @rue721!!!!! FIREWORKS!!!! That is AWESOMENESS!!

Hubs got his shot - and I’m a cradle robber; he’s nowhere near qualified. So move to Georgia, people! We’re not that smart but we share leftovers.

Hey peeps! I’m just home for a minute - leaving again this weekend. Looooong trip this time, I’m very excited. so I have this friend who is capable of putting together a tent, flying a plane, throwing a party for 400, making pizza, calling her mom simultaneously while waiting in line at Disney. She’s honestly the most multi-tasking person I know. And gets QUITE unruly if her demands aren’t met. She asks me today if I’ve had the shot while I’m traveling all over. I say I’m not eligible yet. She says THE HELL!!! Turns out she has 50 things running at once where she can get me in to get a shot. I have to drive an hour... but that’s a pointless argument with this chick. but this was info worth sharing, y’all! Listen!!! She got on a list with several drug stores. If they get to the end of their day with unused shots, they notify her and she sends everybody she can. She’s 35ish and has her shot already, and her husband got his today as well (in Macon). She bullied me right into going, and had me in a slit in 3 minutes. Same with the hubs. He’s not even home and she booked him into a spot at 4:30 today. Meanwhile, she’s managing her props crew, ordering personal jackets for friends, telling someone to bring me said jackets and texting them my addy, and bossing her husband around the state. some drugstore notified her at the end of the day the other day that they had FORTY unused shots! Her whole Crew went down and got shot. I told her she’s a bully, but I’m going! I thought the drugstore thing was worth a try!

@SunnyBeBe, scholarships and college sports in general: one of the many “why Covid sucks” memorials. Truly what a SHAME if your nephew doesn’t get to play college ball.

But we’re watching, and maybe just a wee bit trigger ready... that AIRPLANE!!! At least it wasn’t an eyeball. (I said something to my daughter about that episode once - she absolutely didn’t remember it. I couldn’t forget it!) happy Sunday everyone!

My beautiful sleek red pit boxer thinks they look WONDERFUL. She’s asking me to print that out and blow it up poster size. Is that weird?? Just the perfect size too. @QuinnInND I don’t have advice either - but am really oddly happy you read her letter. Doesnt “sound” painful. So I’m relieved she took the more vanilla approach instead of tear spots on the paper. That’s seems - I dunno - hopeful to me somehow. Like she’s not over-pushing, and is respecting your boundaries. I mean, other than sending a PI out to shake the bushes for you. Sort of maybe kind of a least invasive??? It seems like she’s leaving the decisions up to you. Am I reading too much into that? I bet she used a half ream of paper to write that over and over, inspecting every sentence - every word.

@Oldernowiser: some kind of gloves (probably available through Amazon) that they would use in fish packing - with rubber palms, but also have some little rubber “nubs” built in for gripping. Yes. Time out corner is getting crowded. @GeeGolly you said “Big Sky” which made my face do this 🧐 we used to have a regular poster called Big Sky, remember? Who lived teetering on the edge of the flat earth - seems like very remote. She had health problems, so did her husband, and wherever she was COOOLD and snowed in sometimes. Remember? What happened to her? the Lovely Bones was an excellent but heart kicking book. I never saw the movie. and also: @realityfan26 - your comment about clearing history. Many, many moons ago I was in a scratchy patch with husbo and spent many many many sentences in an email to my 2 friends in Indiana - we had a whole seriously twisted and comedy-ish story worked out about a really stinky, slightly sticky box that was going to have to make its way to the warehouse at their job. And then I sent them an email that said “Dear GBI, FBI, Big Brother or whomever may be lurking and growing concerned: I’m not really a murderer. My husband is being a total ass right now and these conversations are a release mechanism. If a suspicious box is ever located in ______ warehouse, no one attached to this email is involved in any way. Seriously. All a joke.” a man in our church was helping clean up and get prepared for Sunday services after a big ice storm in Georgia several years ago. Church building was brand new and sported a brand new shiny metal roof. This guy walked underneath just as a sheet of ice let go, and was knocked off his feet. I think he had a minor back injury (which I’m SURE no one else appreciated the poetic justice as much as I did - after he’d done the chest pounding thing about a committee title and leadership. My Sunday school class wanted to do a coat drive. I’m serious. He waylaid me in CHURCH to explain we couldn’t DO a coat drive without going through him because of some committee in which he held chair. To which my Sunday school class - all whippersnappers in their early 30’s nearly said “go...”. But then graciously went through him anyway because the people who would benefit shouldn’t continue to be without because of him. So......... yes. I was a big fan of that sheet of ice).

PM me to make arrangements to receive your new attack dog. I know a guy JK i agree with @Oldernowiser, tell him to get a new assistant. You just quit.

@GeeGolly, I knowwww!!! When he was stomping away from me, I was already covering my mouth trying not to sob. I felt sooooo bad for him!!! His little baby!! Seriously, if a big dog attacked my cocker, I would be out for some ugly revenge. These are my children! I am QUITE confident I would have called the police. And if he had, I would have stood in that spot until they arrived. And truthfully, (THANKFULLY!) - her physical injuries weren’t really that bad, truly not. I have the paperwork, and it was all minor - but that’s all beside the point. I kept moaning all afternoon “that poor baby was SCARED TO DEATH!!!” It wasn’t the injuries - Her feelings were hurt!! She lives with an older couple, probably never gets scolded even, is hand fed chicken - and suddenly she’s DINNER. OMG! Like a chihuahua with a bull mastiff bearing down HARD. When they were walking off was the most PITIFUL image - he was old man stomping and the dog was tottering/shaking - like her knees were knocking. It is SOOOO horrifying to see that and know it’s YOURS. I caused that. Or I couldn’t prevent that. In an ENTIRE year (one month shy), Molly has never ONCE given me a reason to believe I couldn’t control her. Until that day. this has changed since then: I don’t walk her. I won’t ever willy-nilly strike out for a walk with her again. After 1000 walks, I can’t do it any more. If I can’t handle her, I can’t walk her. I will work with her in my back yard, I won’t walk her outside of my own fence. She never gets to be let loose in a dog park again. (That can’t be explained to her - but I feel bad about it because she REALLY loved ripping around in a dog park). side note: my husband said “did you beat her?” He meant “spank”; we aren’t beaters of any kind. I was astonished! I’ve known him 22 years and have never seen him strike out at ANYthing, much less a dog!! I said NOOO!!! And I guess my expression shut him up - but immediately I envisioned traffic on that road - someone driving by - while I’m smacking my dog with a stick (or something). THAT wouldn’t get the police involved, right?? @Absolom it is TRULY the WORST to know it’s YOUR DOG. Yes. MY DOG caused this. MINE!!! This is why we don’t know the names of serial killers’ mothers. They go into witness protection immediately. (I hope they do. They should!)

Yesterday we were paddling along in a very wide but shallow river - Mr H, maybe 4 feet ahead of me - startled a HUGE manatee. That sucker rose up like a submarine surfacing, only a scared submarine - oh my God - directly underneath him. HUGE wall of water, lots of manatee, Sonny was yelling, i’M yelling - OMG - at first you can’t make it be a manatee materializing under your feet - it was like a bomb going off. Scared us half to death (not scared of a manatee - just a whole lotta WHATTHEHELL????). Later (about an hour, actually) it was REALLY funny. At that moment, I had NO IDEA what was emerging underneath us. Like a land mine!!! I would HAPPILY slap down $1000 for a video!!! no manatees were harmed in the telling of this story. We saw him surface and blow, all manatee-cussing about stupid people in his river in kayaks during mating season. He was fine. I’m telling you, all night long I would envision that kayak rising like a gigantic wave had blown up under us, in the middle of that river, and I would just crack UP!!! I was as surprised as I’ve ever been in my life! im sorry I’ve hogged so much space today.

A bedtime story: this really will be long and whiny. I’m apologizing in advance for what’s bound to be lengthy. I was jealous of @Oldernowiser having a shot at Love Thy Neighbor. Here’s my vacation story. You guys know I love my camper. Love camping. Love to discover America. We just sold the bus (repair) shop and after having been basically grounded except for short overnights to the river... and knowing we were going to sell, we began planning this month long trip to Florida. Just to veg and regroup and plan ahead. when we arrived, mr HFC discovered a broken water line coming from outside. Not a life altering event - when you drive your house several hundred miles, spit happens. But we have no water inside the camper. Next day, he’s gone early to find part. It takes hours (the hunt). Meanwhile, I decide to use the time to work the dogs. I normally do make part of our trips all about the dogs, obedience, new tricks, lots of exercise. The whole reason we even own campers is: dogs. I leash them both (one is a cutie pie smallish cocker - Ollie. Very obedient and eager to please. Happy guy. The other is a boxer pit mix built like a side of lean beef. She is 75 lbs of ooomph - Molly. Obviously if we ever grow our pack, we’ll have a Dolly and a Wally). I take them outside the park because it’s snowbird season in FL and there are 947 yappy little dogs in the park. I thought maybe I would find an open field for them To run a little. Free range pooping!!! (I always carry bags). about 50 feet out of the gate, we run across a very senior man who’s walking a crunchy little dog. To clarify, we have discovered Molly prefers crunchy angular dogs to the poofy cream filled ones. Molly would love Doodle’s little crunchy dog. (For lunch, I mean). On our family compound, molly runs and plays (hard!!) with a German shepherd, an American bulldog (Russell, who’s 95, deaf, blind and love-rub hungry - we love Old Russell), a bassett, a yellow lab, another cocker and a tiny little crunchy dog. Every. Day. (well, except for Russell. Russell is relatively inert. Although his bestie is my granddaughters goat). Molly is a rescue, so there is definitely history I dont have - but I’ve had her just shy of a year and have NEVER seen this dog show any type of temper. Ever. Just 🤷‍♀️ Never. I have my toddler grands around her all the time, allllll the compound dogs. So much stimulation all the time. Seriously, until this moment I would have labeled her the most docile dog I’ve ever met. Except for Russell, but Russell never knows what’s happening. im walking along, I see the man coming (and I have worked this dog, I absolutely believe I KNOW my dog...) and I stick my hand through the loop of her very strong leash and around my arm a couple times to shorten her lead. (We “believe” that was the step off the cliff, by the way - Molly read my precaution as me being worried about this crunchy little terrier coming up. And she thought “I’m not scared of THAT! I gotcher back, mom!!!”. I thought I was controlling Molly. Molly turned that into saving MY life. At least I think so). Little 15 lb terrier is all between her daddy’s feet - she wants NO part of my beast. I’m calm, I’m confident (I teach by Cesar Milan technique, honestly I do). I call out to senior “you’re fine. She’s a big baby -“ and about that time, molly lunged forward (VERY nearly pulled me off my feet) and drug me (fighting all the way) to jump on that poor little baby. OMG!!!!!!!!!! That poor old fellow was bopping her on the nose yelling “get away!!! Get away from My dog!!!” I now have my feet planted and im giving it all I’ve got, molly is ALL IN. She’s bitten the dog a couple times and now seems to have her teeth stuck in the little baby’s collar. I was HORRIFIED!!!! I have never EVER had something like that happen! I’m really really goood with dogs. I’ve had bigger dogs (bigger teeth!) than Molly. I’ve just never EVER had a dog I couldn’t trust. Never. Anyway, I know better - I absolutely KNOW better - but I reached in the fray and got ahold of Molly’s collar and jerked as hard as I could, screaming her name. She looks back with that uh-oh way dogs do that moment when they’re realizing they are clearly over the line. And lets go. The senior was shaking and SOOOO MAD (and I don’t blame him, I probably would have called the police myself!) He says he has to take his baby to the vet and I say of course, yes of course. Yes. I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I apologize, I NEVER saw that coming, I’m so sorry. I never ever saw it coming. I’ve never had ANY reason to suspect this docile, sweet and totally complacent agreeable dog had an inner monster lurking. He does the shaky, irritated old man stomp off with his dog, takes her to the vet, reports us to the park office, brings me the bill, (which we paid) and the office calls to let us know we are no longer welcome. This is day one of a month long stay. They Agree we can leave in the morning. I have, by now, been crying since Molly first sank her teeth into that crunchy little morsel. Hours of bawling, explaining and apologizing. And I swear upon all I know to be holy, I did NOT do anything without forethought, and nothing with malice. I had zero intent. I never meant to do anything AT ALL but give the dogs a workout. A performance I’ve done a million times (said Sigfried). Cried my EYES out. (Just had cataract surgery, just saying). That night, Mr HFC and I had the worst confrontation of our entire marriage. Where were you GOING? Why were you outside of the PARK?? What did you DO to her?? What did you say to HIM?? And my favorite: I WALKED THE ROUTE YOU SAID YOU TOOK. WHYYYYYYYY did you go that way???? ok...... what? What are you SAYING?? I mean, there’s a trial going on here that I don’t understand, right? Why WOULDNT I be walking the dogs? Why WOULDNT I be training my dogs??? I do it allll the time!!! All the training ANY of our dogs EVER got was from MEEE!!! What, exactly, are you accusing me of????? I think he honestly believed our dogs come (even the puppies) fully trained. It’s a miracle! and finally: (me) if we end up divorced over THIS after alllllllllllll the things we’ve been through together, a) it’s going to be the stupidest thing in the history of EVER and b) it’s going to one heck of a court date. and so yes, I cried all night and into the afternoon the next day (even through the securing of another camp and the move). We finally talked it out that afternoon and he admitted he’d been a dick. (His word). I’m not entirely sure I’m ok with that yet. I love this man 50 ways from Sunday but have never been put through anything quite like that. He measured the dang distance!!!!! I just can’t even. And then it rained for 3 straight days. nevertheless, we settled in and had some enjoyable moments. On day 3 we kayaked in the rain (but it cleared up halfway through that trip). We kayaked several other times (it was beeeeeeautiful weather most of the time). Went to Tampa. (There are chickens in the streets in Ybor - kind of the north Tampa area - like in the Keys. I had no idea. Blows my mind!!). Went back that way again to St Pete (GORGEOUS!!!). And then. Yesterday I woke up to a phone call from my precious DIL - same one who just lost the halfway baby - who’s choking, crying and screaming that her brother (2 years younger) has just died. Overdose. She thought he’d been clean for over a year. Nnnnnooooo - although mostly clean. He’s moved to Florida with his father and had gone home to get his girlfriend and spend some time with his mother. They get high together. I mean he and the mom. And the sister too, when she’s not in jail. (Team spirit and all that). He died. In the living room. With his mother. And his girlfriend. Sitting right there. Someone commented his “lips are blue” and that apparently got the ball rolling. The mom “thought” he was breathing funny as a joke to make her laugh. And then, at first when she thought maybe he OD’d, she didn’t want to call 911 because she knew he had drugs in his system and was afraid she might get him in trouble. Well, and not to mention: she had drugs there too... so... my DIL was angry with her mom because she feels (probably rightfully so) that if the mom had been straight, action could have been taken and he could have been saved. (I mean, ultimately the brother holding the needle is 100% responsible, I know). But she’s also saying that her heart is broken because she knows her mom has just lost her baby - that she was RIGHT THERE, sitting there when he DIED - and watched him being loaded up and taken away with a sheet over his face, and the actual words “we’ll take him to the morgue at the hospital and the coroner will see him there”. I have to digress (surprise!!). The angry part for ME, if I were DIL, would not be so much “she could have DONE something!!!” It would be (dear Lord, SOOOO much!!! I am so PERSONALLY angry with the mom - it’s all I can do not to tell her myself - but that’s not my fight) “my brother was comfortable enough doing drugs around my mother that he DIED doing exactly that”. I mean... I know I grew up sheltered and this is all incredible to me... but what the HELLLLL, man??? He’s there one minute and then... he’s not. How WEIRD IS THAT??????? she drove over to check on her mom 4 times yesterday, wanting to shake her until her head falls off - and yet afraid this is all going to ultimately going to cause another needless death. She doesn’t want to be the one not paying attention. Amazing. and so tooooooday, on day 12 of a full month off, I’m on my way home because I’m a mom and she needs me. She’s about to lose her mind, I know she is. I told her I was on my way - she says “I don’t want you to mess up your time, you were so looking forward to that time!!!” I said “it’s ok. I feel like you need to know I’m nearby, even if I can’t help at all”. Then she’s wailing “okaaaaaaay, please come hommmmmmme!!!” Poor kid. Just can’t catch a break, I swear. And her f-n FAMILY. HOLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE COW!!! The mom JUST got out of jail a month ago, and the sister is a current resident. And of course one of the druggie friends called to let her (the sister) know before a family member could get there. All KINDA of special going on. I love them all. My crazy whacked out zoo crew. Even the dog. (The terrier is FINE, no stitches, vet just cleaned her up and gave her an antibiotic shot). Thank GOD Molly didn’t break skin on the man punching her in the nose! I would have lost her for sure. At least I have a minute to try to get to the bottom of why that happened. I’m emailing Cesar; if I’m lying I’m dying!!! All in all a pretty busy not-2-weeks. If anyone needs some help planning a quiet getaway, PM me - obviously I’m your girl! believe it or not, I actually have a GOOD story to tell. I’m going to post this and then tell a fun story.

@JYNNAN TONNIX is good! I see her on FB sometimes; she’s fine. (Maybe yesterday or 2 days / but recently)