SwordQueen

But, but...she can't blame me! It's not fair because... My father is dyi....wait, no. ...I'm a single mothe...no, not that either... I have to pay my bil....yeah, already taken care of. ...I have to rejuvenate my va ...eww, nevermind... You can see my tampon stri...no, I wear clothes. ...Hmm...I guess I don't have any excuses, 'cause if I slapped her, I'd gladly own it. lol eta: Mamba. Didn't see your post before I replied, but dude. DUDE. I think so, too.

I was just about to reply to Beaker's post, saying much of the same. She's so full of shit with that. Man what is it with these BH women? Brandi, Kim and Yolanda have all cried "single mother" as if their circumstances deserve mountains of pity and admiration. Just as with Kim, these other Ho'wives need some perspective. I want to slap all of their faces, a la Moonstruck and tell them to "SNAP OUT OF IT!". ...and then maybe slap Brandi again, just for funsies.

That's awesome of you, mbaywife. I do the same to the local women's/children's center, here. You have to stop and get some perspective sometimes, you know? I have to, for myself, at times when I'm sulking and feeling sorry for myself because something hasn't gone the way that I wanted it to. Hugs, Missy Jo. I'm sorry for the loss of your loved one, especially in such a horrible manner.

First; love that man. Secondly, thank you for saying that. It is very sad. Illness is sad, dysfunction is sad. But losing all perspective is even sadder. lol There are thousands and thousands of ill addicts out there, many jobless, homeless, penniless, without families and all alone. Many who will die and no one will even notice. Kim is a spoiled rich women, with connections and people who love her so much that they are willing to take her abuse if it means that they might be able to save her RumRaisin ass. And both are True Facts, too!

One, big post of replies. I agree with your post, in it's entirety, EVS. They are both users and it seems like they agreed to "have each others backs". Except with those two, the only reason they'd ever claim to have someone's back is to be in prime position to stick the knife in. I kind of chuckle when I think that they ended up mirroring their own terrible behaviors back to themselves, because they're so similar. Brandi got a taste of what it's like to have someone be so entitled and needy that all they care about is what you can do for them. Kim learned that Brandi is a lying backstabber, who will blab personal info when it benefits her. They deserve each other. So many of us have admitted that we like the psycho-social aspects of these shows, so of course we're going to bring that to the boards. Especially with this season, where we have the doubly whammy of both life imitating art and art imitating life. Also, if we shouldn't discuss Kim, then we probably shouldn't discuss any of these women, since it's really all the same kind of spectator speculation going on. I'm not a "celebrity person" normally. I don't care about (modern) Hollywood. But for some reason, these shows have me hooked. Maybe I should just go on YT and watch old episodes of Jerry Springer to get the same fix. lol Thank you, Film Noire. ; - ) I agree that Kim should be proud. Kyle too. Their successes then cannot be taken from them. But, we know Kim doesn't want to let it lie -- the image of herself as the "star" and it's really hurting her. And she's not unique in that, either. To act like Kim Richards is somehow the victimiest victim to ever fall victim to victimhood is silly, imo. Hollywood is filled with tales of actors and actresses who couldn't handle having the curtain go down on their careers. Sad tales, too. She seems to feel so entitled to being special that she fails to see the irony in that behaving that way makes her just like so many others before her (as well as after, I'm sure).

Yes, it really bothers me, too. There are already so many stereotypes and prejudices against those with mental illnesses that, making it seem like we're all a bunch of entitled yet helpless assholes who can't and won't do shit for ourselves, doesn't help matters, imo. That's often what our illnesses tell us -- that we're hopeless, helpless victims, and we'll never be able to change. We don't need other people reaffirming those thoughts for us, imo again. He's a great example. And for every Kim Richards, there's a RDJ, who takes charge of his life. It isn't an easy process, but it is a process, which means that it should be in continuous motion, not stagnant.

And it seems, that up until this season with Lisa R, no one had ever really told Kim Richards that it wasn't OK.

It can be expensive. I think it depends on who you are and who you know. If you're lucky, you get a lot of shit for free because people want to be seen with you, etc. But good drugs cost money, and a good (reliable) dealer costs more. Some of the old rockers have said they've spent millions. But they were probably much more hardcore users out on the road, on tours and everything, than Kim was, with four kids at home and rotating husbands. We know from previous seasons that Kim was a shopaholic, too, so drugs weren't her only addiction/entitlement to indulge.

Very true. I think maybe that's why Kim is so stuck on stardom and her contribution to her family's lifestyle (as perceived by her). That was her identity growing up and who knows, maybe that was really the only identity she developed. Then she became a mother and that eclipsed her old identity for awhile. Now that her kids are grown and beginning their own adult lives and her career has long been over, she's lost and trying to reclaim/hold onto whatever she can but she's so bitter and hateful that she can't allow herself to let go of the past. The drug use, though, has been in effect long before this, even before she had all of her children. I really hope Kim starts to put in even a fraction of the effort that we have put into her, into figuring herself out. lol

You do have a very healthy outlook on your life, Jenny. This is something that I have and still do struggle with. What's my identity without my illnesses and abuse history? It started so young with me, at age 3, that I used to get stuck feeling cheated out of life, because I'll never know who I would have been, if not for the abuse changing me in my developing years. And since I continued to be abused, that felt like my identity that I sort of just accepted -- SwordQueen: Perpetual Rape Victim. I have had to learn that it's not who I could have been that should be my focus; but on who I will become. I'm lucky though that I also have many other things in my life, hobbies, passions, beliefs, goals, so I know that I'm not just defined by one thing. I agree, that Kim only seems to have her addictions and her memories of the past. That's a sad way to live, and it's not really living. Been there, too. The show has really struggled with showcasing Kim doing anything else that doesn't involve her recovery, her family issues or her past as a child actor. I remember she did some racecar thing maybe last season? I'm guessing that was a one time thing for the show? Not everyone has big dreams and big hobbies, so I know for some, staying at home and being with family is how they live their life. But Kim's home life doesn't seem to fulfill her, so she really should branch out and start developing herself as her own woman and not just what she was to others -- mom, child star, sister, wife, daughter, etc. She seems like an empty husk and I don't know if that's just part of a personality disorder or if it's something she can change with effort and desire.

Exactly. Tracing it back to its source, if possible, is helpful to recovery (not just from addiction, but all kinds of recovery). The awareness of what we do, why we do what we do, and how we do it. Taking responsibility for how we act and how we re-act to other people's actions is the only way, imo, we can change our future behaviors. If we blame others and believe that they are the ones pulling our strings, then how are we to change ourselves? Recovery is then left in the hands of other people and we do become helpless victims. That's not a healthy way of looking at life, imo. Victimhood transcends into survival and survival is transcends into sovereignty. Kim is still wallowing in victimhood by blaming others. She has a long ways to go.

Method acting rehearsals?

ZOMG, nc socialworker. So cute! Those costumes are adorable. I wish mine would like wearing clothes. : - ( I have to put them in sweaters and coats when it's cold because they are tiny things, but they just don't have a flair for fashion.

Thank you for sharing, Toukie. I'm sorry your sister has to deal with that disorder -- it's a bitch. Glad, though, that you can look back on tough times and find kernels of humor in them. That's the best medicine, sometimes. I'm not working right now because of my mental illnesses and it's hard. Very hard. My ex-FI, who has Bipolar I, is a mess with home life, money, and relationships (I had to do all of the heavy lifting there), but can get up and go to work every day and do well with that. It's what keeps him going. There's no one way, when it comes to these disorders, and no real way of knowing what's going on in someone's mind, from the outside. In all of my years of therapy and from working on myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, I've learned that taking full responsibility for oneself is the truest form of freedom -- The exact opposite of what those like Kim trick themselves into believing. That cycle of blame locks us into patterns and keeps us tied to unhealthy people and environments and we're unable to grow and thrive. Something I will share that always makes me laugh at the absurdity of life and illness, is one time many years ago when I had been placed in a psych ward. It was a terrible time for me, one of the worst in my life. I was waiting in the lobby area of the hospital unit, for my boyfriend and family to come visit, sitting in a chair and journaling. There was this old radio that was on one of the side tables and it was tuned to some local rock radio station. All of the sudden I hear this familiar radio hit come on. It was Matchbox 20 singing "I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell". The meta joke that that was, was just too funny not to giggle at and now when something reminds me of that horrible time in my life, or when I'm convinced that I am just crazy, I think about that time and that song, and I laugh and think to myself, "Nope, I'm just a little unwell!".

I don't think many people will argue that Bravo needs to not re-hire her, or that addiction wasn't a response to prior trauma. However, my point still stands that addiction doesn't automatically make someone helpless and without responsibility for themselves. Even if she has other mental illnesses, it doesn't mean that, necessarily. Plenty of us live every day with mental illness with varying degrees of success without being malignant assholes, users and abusers or criminals. How does one recover from addiction without being fully accountable for themselves and recognizing the harm they have caused, themselves and others?

Not all addicts have the complete inability to make decisions for themselves and take responsibility for those decisions. I just don't understand this insistence that somehow addiction = total helplessness, mental incompetence, and victimhood 4lyfe or that addiction = worse than anything else.

Agree. I think some of us, instead of gleefully withholding our empathy and hoping she dies, are looking perhaps for a way to empathize with her, even if we don't like her or won't give her a pass for it. It's also a self-comforting thing. People like to know why others do horrible things, either in an effort to be understanding or to be able to distance ourselves from them. The unknown is almost always scarier than the known, so if we know why people act like monsters we can either say "Oh, I can see how they'd be driven to do something like that. That might have been me (at some point/if not for...)", or "I could never be like that. That'll never happen to me".

Man, PreposterousISTA, spoiler tag that shit! I scared myself scrolling past those pics. ; - ) LOL4EVA to the idea that any man would look at her and want her to raise his child. Maybe she was able to stay off the hooch during her first two pregnancies but I doubt she could do it a third time. How 'boring', she'd say. Okay, she really burns my ass with that "Woe is me, I'm a single mother" crap. There are a ton of single mothers who do a hell of a lot more than she does with a hell of a lot less than what she has, and they don't "turn into" shitty people in order to pay the bills. Fuck the fuck off, Brandi.

Agree with your assessment. Kim just doesn't have much going for her. And actually, I think that's part of why she and BFF Brandi bonded so well after they realized that they only had each other left -- both have seemingly no hobbies, talents, or genuine passions in life. Except booze and benzos, that is, which is how they bonded, I'm guessing. Oh, and all of their kids, who I am sure struggle in coping with their sick, twisted mothers. They seem to have also come to the same conclusion about how they are victims by virtue of being single mothers, so I'm guessing they've had more than one bitch session about that. Kyle, on the other hand, seems to both internally and externally be so much more well-rounded as a person and multi-dimensional. Yeah, she can be annoying, childish, and a mean girl, but that's not all there is to her. She seems to really want a more "normal" family life and she fills her time with her kids, her boutique (which takes time and effort to grow), her parties, her husband and his business, and her friends and social life. We've seen her, in 5 seasons, doing more than just sitting around and bitching about life, because she's out living it. I don't think Kim does click with many people because she can't relate to them on that emotional level. She's surface because all of her attention is on herself and her own inner world. That and she's also busy with her drugs and booze and it's hard to try to act happy and sober when you're not. Takes a lot of energy and focus and she seems to become anxious at the idea of that. Brandi is a hard one to "call out". She's a professional victim so she'll turn it around and use it as an example of being bullied or being treated unfairly. Any answer she'd give would be total bullshit anyway and she'd just start screaming obscenities and threats, and then there's that voice ... Really, I'd love to just see everyone ignore her, in a calm, detached manner, like LVP did for much of this season. "Uhuh, Brandi, that's nice. Anyway ladies, as I was saying..."

Balls, they really were, weren't they?! That's brilliant. Never thought of them like that before. I'm still holding a grudge with CBS for cancelling MSCL, when they never promoted it as a teen show to begin with. BURN IT DOWN! I was an odd kid, because all of my teen idols were the freaks and weirdos, and not the cool girls or the hot guys in those stupid magazines. Mamba <3

You must wear your Goddamn Seatbelt at all times, while on this bandwagon. It's gonna be a bumpy ride and we don't want you to fall off 100% (but, like 20-30% is cool, as long as you have reasons. Just no raisins, please; they're hateful). ; - ) LOLOL So, your dislike of real life human beings reminded me of a favorite quote from an awesome TV show. "Computers are a great way to meet people you would find revolting in person." (Daria)

You're saying that you like hateful raisins? All of this raisin love has made me so on-ery, I had to go eat a piece of bread to calm down. But this Muffin seems to be disagreeing with me, so I don't think I can be held responsible for my actions.

I really hope nothing like that happened to them. It's awful to speculate about but also an awful reality. Just as recovered addicts and those who've dealt first hand with addiction can often see the addict others, when it comes to sensing the survivor in others, it takes one to know one, sometimes. It's that same "knowing" that many abusers are able to use to sniff out and exploit in order to re-victimize. I think we all, when we're trying to hide/suppress things, have tells which is why so many of us knew that Kim wasn't clean and sober, even when she was trying her best to appear that way.

Bunches of hugs, Lura. I am so sorry for what you and your brother have gone through at the hands of your mother. Thank you for sharing this with me and the board. Abuse, especially I think, the kind from one's own family, is a cut that never does quite heal. There are plenty of things that can act as a salve though and I've found that being able to give and receive support from other survivors is a bittersweet comfort, because while I hate so much that anyone else went through abuse, it's good to feel like someone "gets it", you know? The abuse by my brother also began at age 3 and then it just snowballed from there with different people and I never told anyone directly but one bf, until I was 21 and I was forced to because I had been hospitalized for trying to kill myself and I really had no choice but to tell by that point. So it's been about 10 years from that time and some days I'm unsure of how much I've actually progressed. I understand your feelings towards Kim. It's like on one hand, I get her and understand the kind of pain and rage she exhibits along with the self-destructive/self-preserving cycles that are hard to give up because they become your identity, in a way. I really feel for the child she was. But, as an adult, she also chose to have four children and chose to bring her sister and the rest of her family members into those cycles, so now it's not just her, who is suffering. Honestly, my own destructive cycles are why I haven't and won't have my own children. It's been so hard to watch Kim, along with Kyle, play out such a familiar script. I'm sorry that you, and everyone else here who has experienced similar situations, have had to relive it through this show. This is not entertainment. Moar hugs! LOL Uhoh, forget wondering if someone on this board is Brandi, what if someone were my sister. Not sure which would be more awkward. ; - )

What is this "getting along" thing you speak of?