NinjaPenguins

Poppy and Finn is extremely gross and raises any number of questions. How? Why? Li is unpleasant enough thinking Jack is the father. Imagine her current level of anger and resentment cranked up to 11 if it’s Finn. Yikes. Look at Steffy talking the same old shit and lording it over Hope. Her parents shared a meaningful dry hump immediately after Ridge decided he was betrayed by Brooke. (Zende, buddy, don’t you have something you’d like to share with the group?) She’s the queen of the idiots to think it means anything at all, not to mention a really awful daughter to want so little for her mother. I wish Brooke had dropped by Taylor’s to leave Ridge’s bindle and wish her luck. I don’t understand why show has Brooke rightfully tear into Ridge for his malicious comments about her daughter and then pine so pathetically for him. She needs to stop calling him and just let him soak in the beige hell he’s made for himself.

Am I taking PCP? I’m not entertained by our plucky heroines plotting premeditated murder. I guess it’s no big whoop for the Newman gang, but watching them declare themselves judge, jury and executioner was distasteful. I mean, Nick was the least objectionable Newman by a mile - like how the fuck does that happen? Great, Claire, you can feel the evil emanating from your aunt; I’m not sure Michael Baldwin can make that defense work in court. Your plan sucks worse than Billy’s, and Billy has no plan other than sealing farts in mittens and planting them in Chancellor’s ductwork. Adam is such a putz anymore. Behaving like a lickspittle and performing stupid pet tricks for his father while Victor sits there soaking up the praise and pledges of loyalty… yuck. I’m sure the old raunch will be safe. Never mind that Victor has only ever been shown to have exactly one competent security person. If only Nick had combed his hair, it would have been one of his better days on the show.

Maybe Hope should manage the LLC. Is she qualified? Hell no! But she does have the advantage of seeing Steffy for what she is and understanding that Lady Smuggles should be shown the door. I’m not sure about the medical ethics of using a dead person’s liver as part of a show and tell to dress down your sister? Thinking maybe it’s not cool? Bill hiding Luna in his mansion is more tiresome Three’s Company farce than soapy drama. If he spends much more time holed up there, Katie is going to come nosing around and nobody wants that.

Daniel’s bullshit detector is finely honed when it comes to people other than his mother. I wonder what kind of new venture he and Phyllis could launch? Word to the wise, Daniel: you can’t move past video games because video games left you in the dust the minute your lame ass princess game dropped. Billy may be skilled at baking pans full of backside biscuits, but he couldn’t scheme his way out of a wet paper bag. The doofus has no plan. He has nothing but his pancake ass, giant nostrils and excessive self regard. I feel like “rock bottom” can be defined as Phyllis giving you side eye while listening to the words coming out of your mouth. NICK HAS BIG MAD! And a bad case of the meat sweats apparently. If murder is the answer, Claire, you might be asking the wrong question.

Dumbasses. Carter thinking that Steffy will actually ruminate on the toxic work environment she created is hilarious. Brooke reinstating her daughter’s tormentor to impress the hateful hobo is just pathetic and sad. The way Steffy was radiating smug like a supernova should have been a huge red flag. Note to Steffy: acting like your namesake is nothing to be proud of. Ridge really took home the gold star for biggest schmuck of the episode when he wondered that he raised the magnificent Steffy in hushed, awestruck tones. Taking credit for designing Zende’s shirts would be less embarrassing. Not really sure we need to see Will in another obsessive psycho story this soon. Bill’s efforts to conceal Luna seem shoddy at best. His home must have entire unused wings she could be safely ensconced in.

Oh, the two victims of Adam’s and Chelsea’s gross behavior are singing the praises of their potential romance? Well, I’m convinced! The outdated notion that people should stay together for their kids was a nice touch. Maybe JG could join the rest of us in the 21st century at some point. While I know Claire is only trash talking the Newmans to fool Jordan, her dialogue was the uplifting content I didn’t realize I needed.

Having other characters deliver awkward exposition about why two people should be romantically paired is not a substitute for chemistry or plot development. It is utterly depressing that the head writer thinks two people falling back in love over their son’s OCD is any kind of a story. Especially since one person is doing all the pressuring with the backing of his father and sister. Chelsea and Adam are giving Connor way too much power over how they arrange their lives. If he has the tools to cope, why does Chelsea need to move into the raunch when she doesn’t want to? You know Adam is going to be all up in her grill, pulling his usual bullshit. Ian is lucky he didnt get his Americano laced with something. He and Jordan crack my shit up with their unintentional comedy gold. They’re slightly more funny than Detective Dingleberry schooling Chance with his gut instincts. Btw, how many times per episode do we need to have Chance tell Nick that there’s no news? Claire is much more interesting and likable away from the schmoopy bouffant, at least to me. Wonder if she’s about to become Sharon’s sewer mate?

What a smug, self-satisfied bunch of losers sitting around the Forrester mansion, jobless, joyless and high on the redolent vapors emitted from Steffy’s backside. Ridge and Taylor and Zende acting like Steffy is some bad ass master of the game cleverly infiltrating a high stakes operation was too much. Steffy is just a garden variety bully whose family name protected her from consequences. Hey, Zende, you ever going to open your mouth about what Brooke confided to you? Please tell Steffy to go pound sand, Brooke and Carter. I guess we’re pretending that Luna never tried to make out with Bill? Not that I mind, but I’m not exactly excited with how she’s gazing dreamily at Will and his chompers. Those hospital scenes were weird AF. Just do a damn DNA test without all the odd dialogue and organ coolers hanging around. We can follow along.

I think it would be an excellent idea to turn Harrison’s precociousness level down several notches. Write him like a real kid, not the cloying, perfectly behaved child that reacts to everything in just the right way. Please stop making me watch Kyle and his pompous pompadour get all schmoopy with the nanny. They are positively repellent. Whatever the opposite of chemistry is, they have it. Oh, hey, it’s Adam being a manipulative dickwad again, decked out in his best emo Miami Vice duds and shitty haircut. Chelsea obviously wants nothing to do with moving into Raunch II. Adam makes her feel guilty about thinking he’s manipulating her even as he blatantly uses their son and his OCD to get her under the same roof. This is amazing writing to make me pity Chelsea and loathe Adam. The black sex bra is back, baby!

Stop killing me dead, please. Wow, Ridge sure looked happy after that vigorous dry hump. Not at all like a hostage. Dumbass. Good luck extricating yourself from a woman who might die if you leave her. 🤭 What kind of fucking weirdo talks about her parents’ love life before and after sex? I figure Steffy talked about mom and dad during intercourse, but I hate to assume. Finn could be replaced with an animated dildo and no one would notice. I know I’ve been all over Brooke for being pathetic, but I dare say Taylor might be redefining the word. It’s so obvious she’s the rebound and a punishment for Brooke but she’s willing to delude herself into thinking Ridge means any of his bullshit. Now if only Brooke would stop pining for the hateful loser. Shut the fuck up about Brooke and Hope, Steffy. Your family is trash. Straight trash. Enjoy being up each other’s ass 24/7. It’s going to be profoundly hilarious when Ridge goes scampering after his destiny again.

Guys, come on. Business is so easy a hot cop can do it. Family and friends can be handed an executive position and can hit the ground running with zero experience. Board members work regular hours at the office. Damian will be just fine.

Did Victor finally hire a competent security person? Do all Genoa City supervillains use the sewer system to stash their poor, unfortunate victims? These are the questions that keep me up at night. Victoria stating that she’s expected to be an extension of her father without sprinting towards the nearest therapist was certainly a choice. You keep telling yourself that Victor gives a single mummified fuck whenever you push back on him, Vic. Ian could always prove he’s a genuine man of the cloth by performing the rite of exorcism on the show’s scripts.

I just really enjoyed that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go fantasize about my parents flirting with a dumb, creepy expression on my face. Perfectly normal behavior.

Are we back on Nick?

If I were any more dead, I’d be Taylor’s personality. It’s kind of gross how much Steffy thinks about her parents’ relationship and reads things into it that simply aren’t there. She and her mother desperately need a new topic of conversation. The Logans are their life. But nobody holds a candle to Brooke when it comes to being pathetic. Great, she desperately wants to give the company back to a man who unloaded misogynistic poison on her daughter and the smug, hateful bully who lives to shit on the Logan family. She’s even willing to overlook Ridge’s charity dry hump of the beige dishrag. I don’t know who this content is for, but I find it appalling.