cmr2014

It's only the Duggar daughters who are shilling on SM. The DILs stuck their respective toes in the water a bit, and have pretty much disappeared from SM. I assume that the "jobs" that the sons have at Duggar Enterprises are making enought for them to provide for their families. Ben is an outlier, though, the only SIL still tied to the TTH. I've always assumed it was because Jessa and JB are controlling assholes and won't give him any space (and I'm sure that's true), but I wonder if that's the whole story. Michael Seawald is a pretty big asshole, and it's not unusual for teenage boys to have issues with their fathers -- especially giant assholes like MS. I've always assumed that Ben and Jessa's limited interactions with the Seawalds were because of Jessa, but maybe they're because Ben wants to limit contact. While he always appears genuinely miserable to me, he is getting what he wants out of this deal: he gets sex with the "hot" daughter; he went to school (when none of the Duggar sons got that opportunity); he's "working" as a pastor, etc.

It just doesn't even cross their minds. They're all terrible at being "influencers" because they don't really understand the concept -- and are totally unwilling to learn. I would bet a million dollars that Jessa doesn't follow anyone else to learn anything about how a successful influencer presents content. I would also bet that none of them will ever read a book or take a class to learn anything about what they do to put food on the table. I do believe that Jinger and Jeremy hired someone to help them with their presentation (or MacArthur did), but that's it. If this was part of Jessa's long running narrative about the joys as well as the trials and tribulations of raising kids while trying to remain "separate" from the mainstream, secular world she might have an audience. She (and her sisters) can't seem to nail down the narrative, and it's hard to follow because there's no plot and no point to her random posts.

I agree that Ben (and Jeremy) are definitely barking up the wrong tree with the goal of becoming a pastor. Religious affiliation in the US is dropping rapidly, and evangelical affiliation has dropped below that of mainline Christianity for the first time in a long time. That doesn't mean that there's no one in the pews, but the numbers aren't good, and neither of them has the skills (or the message) to turn that around. They live in a bubble, though, that allows them to believe that this is a valid career choice, and no one seems to have clued Ben in that his poor speaking skills and dour message make him unlikely to succeed.

I don't see how Ben can be getting any salary from that church. The congregation is tiny, and what little money they collect from the parishoners probably goes to keeping the lights on. I think it's likely that the house is his compensation. I wouldn't be surpised if Ben wasn't still "working" in some capacity for JB. I think Jessa sticks tight to the TTH because their dependence on JB gives her control in the relationship. I think that Ben has been trying to break out for a while now, but JB has the thumscrews pretty tight.

He can't even pretend to look happy when he looks at Jessa -- maybe he's just pissed about the haircut. Maybe he said something like he didn't like the haircut and wanted to go to a professional, and Jessa said "I'll post a picture on SM and see what my followers have to say." Then she'll get a bunch of "Likes" from humpers and tell him "see, it's a great haircut."

Aren't all of their assets in Anna's name? In order to move, Anna would need to cash out family assets. She'd need to cash out more to pay for food, utilities, etc. for the next 10 years since she can't work because of Jesus. I don't think JB will pony up for a house in TX while she has a place to live and food on the table since he's already provided her with a luxe spread at the warehouse and she's probably eating the same canned Aldi food that he feeds his own family. I think the issue is that Anna feels unwelcome at the TTH, and she probably is. I don't think J'chelle or the older daughters particularly like her; I doubt that JB and the older sons even notice her; I wouldn't be surprised if she was just lonely and uncomfortable there. I do think JB'd consider it if David Waller was going to pick up some of the slack in supporting her. She'd still be in the Gothard fold with an acceptable headship and it would probably remove a significant source of stress from his household.

I can't disagree with "they're just pathetic," but . . . People develop their tastes in food from what they eat in childhood (I still like American cheese singles; I have a friend whose father really enjoyed Spam with his breakfast; etc.). We know that J'chelle was no kind of cook, and they ate a lot of canned food growing up, and despite traveling the world, I think they all have very limited experience with food. Jinger (and all of the Duggars) are not terribly adventurous people (remember Jessa's RBF at the Indian restaurant?). I'm not surprised that "steak salt" is more than enough seasoning for her -- I bet it is for a lot of her followers, too. The thing is, she doesn't love to cook, or love food, or have any interest in learning. She doesn't have a warm and engaging, or entertaining personality that makes us want to join her and learn with her. She's just a lump of dumb who is going to presume to teach others something she doesn't know how to do herself, and the reason we should watch is --- Jesus? It's pointless to suggest it, but it would be really nice if at least one of these idiots would WATCH a video and LEARN a thing before they tried to teach it.

I think that Anna has some idea that they will strengthen their "spiritual bond" while Josh is in prison -- hence the relationship books. They will pray together and talk about the various devotional exercises in the books, etc. I also think that Anna's presence isn't comforting for Josh at all. If he had any hopes of loosening his parents' control over him, they've been completely thwarted. He has no hope of finding a job or a place to live outside the TTH orbit once he leaves prison. If she won't leave him now, she's never going anywhere, and the end of his sentence just means back to his "life" pre-prison.

I don't think Josh expects to win his appeal. I think he doesn't want Anna to move any closer and to visit more often. Relationship books only have value when both parties want to work on a relationship. I think Josh has zero interest, and I don't think that Anna thinks she has been anything less than an ideal partner.

I think that Jessa's emtions (like any of ours) are complicated. I think that all of the kidults (and probably all of the kids, really) have a desperate need for affection and attention both because they got none as children and also because I think it's a family trait (see JB and Amy). I think she desires intimacy and warm as much as anyone, but also pushes it away because she's deeply fearful -- a combination of the insecure tattling culture of her home, and her own emotional fragility. They have all been told a lot of magical stories about marriage within the cult, and I agree that Jessa and Jill in particular had their parents' marriage as a model and expected their husbands to model themselves after JB. I don't think it occurred to either of them that their husbands had their own fathers, and their own family history, and their own role models. Ben, also, was engaged in magical thinking and simply projected a lot of personaility traits onto Jessa that she simply didn't have. I don't think there's anyone out there who would have been a better match for Jessa (or Ben). Their problems are within themselves, and they both would benefit from individual, and couples, therapy.

I think she wanted someone like JB: someone who thought she hung the moon. She wants to be fawned over and admired for her looks and her ability to produce children, and to have all of her flaws glossed over and defended. I think that her original view of Ben (and his sappy poetry) was that he was that guy. But, over time (a relatively short time, at that), he's lost interest at groveling at her feet. He has interests of his own and I think he wants and expects some kudos of his own for his accomplishments -- and I doubt he get it from her.

They are seriously awful at this. I assume that Jeremy wrote this since it tracks 1:1 with his ridiculous sermon title. The picture is awful and out of focus. They couldn't take the time to take a second photo? If they want to be "Influencers" they need to put in the time and effort to create a compelling narrative that people want to follow. No one follows them because they're interested in their lifestyle. They follow them because they're Christian and because they want to know when the next baby is coming. I'm unable to believe that anyone is following them to learn about their Christian? candle/hat business, their children's books, or where they get their burgers. If they're being paid to show that hip, happening young people follow MacArthur, they need to create a cohesive narrative that they're hip, happening young people, not this incoherant mish-mash that they've been presenting for YEARS now.

I think we all would, but we're not Jana. She's been programmed her whole life to believe that her sole purpose is to become a help-meet and mother. I was raised in a progressive household, and received a good education, and always believed that I could be whatever I wanted to be, but I've always felt a huge amount of pressure from society at-large to tie my self-worth to being married and having a family. I don't know why Jana hasn't found a husband among the fundie creeps of her aquantence, but I bet that it weighs heavily on her.

It's not just toys. Amy is all about conspicuous consumption. She and her husband lived in a McMansion they couldn't afford, and then moved into another big, splashy place with much more room than they need. Her living room is cluttered with "decorative" items and a big screen tv.

All of the Duggars are, IMO, competative, and I do think that Jessa is jealous, to some extent of Jinger (and her other siblings, and other Gothard women, etc.). Not that Jinger has anything better, but in that it's too close for comfort. The houses are about the same square footage with a similar number of BRs and BAs, and open floor plans. Jessa is winning with 4 kids to 2, and Ben is a preacher, not a student. Since the Duggars place zero value on education, Jeremy's advanced degrees don't mean anything.

I found it on Zillow (thanks), and it looks fine to me. The neighborhood looks like a normal neighborhood for a young family, and they are only blocks from a public elementary school. It's not as nice as the house they were "renting," but that's hardly surprising. That place was a pretty amazing grift for those two. I think the owner of the "rental" made some agreement like "You can live there while you're a student" and then when Jeremy decided to go on to the "PhD program," the owner said "hey, wait, that's not what I meant" and they needed to find a new place. I think it's a big come-down for both of them. Santa Clarita is not LA. The other house was definitely nicer and, I think, a shorter commute for Jeremy. Jinger has a lot of experience, though, in pretending to be excited about things she's not excited about, so she was able to perform for the video. I noticed that in the listing, one of the downstairs bedrooms was staged as a workout room, and immediately thought of Jinger's insipid comment about "we're thinking of using this as a workout room." It really is just very sad that they all have no imagination or original thoughts -- ever.

I simply can't wrap my head around any of this math -- AT ALL. Even if they have a 200K downpayment (100K from the Laredo house deposit + 100K profit from the sale), they would need a mortgage of 630K at a payment of close to 3K per month. Who would give that kind of mortgage to a student with a part time job and a SAHM? Who would give them ANY kind of a mortgage? I don't even think most landlords would want to rent to them. MacArthur must have arranged some sort of financing for them. That's the only explanation that I can think of unless Jeremy's family is MUCH more wealthy than they appear to be. As far as the house goes -- perfect for them? Five bedrooms for a family of four? A workout room?

I'm going to call bs on this photo, too, unless Jessa literally walks around the house all day with her phone plastered to her face (possible). I think it's far more likely that she found the kids doing something like this and re-staged the event to show them trying to reach their school supplies -- that would explain Spurgeon's bored posture. If they were actually going for the school supplies, Spurgeon is tall enough to reach them. All of Jessa's parenting fails are attributed to "kids!!!! amiright!" while everyone else's are attributable to "secular parenting." As @andromeda331 pointed out, Jessa is a SAHM by choice and does nothing associated with that life choice: no cleaning, no cooking, and no child supervision. Her house is filthy, her kids are poorly put together (unless it's "photo-in-the-weeds day"), and they forage for food. She's got nothing to crow about, and she should look at her own photos and get a clue, and work on herself.

I'm going to call bs on "Biblical" child rearing. There is very little in the Bible relating to children and virtually nothing about child rearing -- and virtually nothing in the New Testament. There are a few mentions in the Old Testament regarding the importance of discipline and, of course, the various situations where parents are allowed to kill their children. Jessa needs to stop talking. It would be a good idea for her to actually parent the (too many) children that she already has and not presume to give "advice" to anyone.

I agree. She wouldn't take them to church like that, and she knew enough to dress up herself.

I checked the Duggar family blog (so you don't have to). The baby still hasn't arrived. There was a notation that Octobers birthdays are already up, and they expect the baby to be born in September, but will update October if necessary.

I think it's close, but I don't think the role suits her. I don't think she wants to be part of a group of right-thinking Christians, or even a leader of a group of right thinking Christians, she wants to be the only one with the "truth" and to talk down to everyone else. It's not just Jessa, either. The Duggars all seem to prefer to tell others what to do, rather than being students themselves. Remember Joe was "ministering" to other students at Clown College; Jill's earlier SM posts that were constantly providing "instruction" on various things that she knew nothing about. I think Jessa's too rigid, too judgemental, and too preachy to be a good preacher's wife. Ben is an insufferable bore who thinks he knows every imaginable thing about Jesus and wants to talk about it all the time. I think to be successful, she'd have to balance him and be the one who shows compassion and concern about the day-to-day earthly problems of the flock. I can see some people -- maybe new converts -- wanting to spend time with Ben talking about the exact bits of scripture that prove that they are better, and more in-the-know about Jesus than other people. I can't imagine, however, people wanting to spend time with know-it-all Ben, and rigid, unsmiling Jessa over time.

I think that's probably what's going on. She wants to give the impression that they have lots of "sweet friends" with lots of kids who are dropping by all the time and everyone is having a BLAST in the new house. I think it's probably the same nothing in a new space. She doesn't even seem to socialize with any of her siblings (or Ben's siblings), and neither of them has any outside hobbies or interests; their kids don't go to school or have any activities of their own, so it's not other parents -- so who would they know?

I'm not sure why this idea is getting so much traction. Jill just had a baby and two surgeries. She has a newborn at home, and historically has had a rough time with caring for a newborn. They just moved and Derick has a new job and is out of the house all day, every day. That's going to be an adjustment for her -- maybe not as big an adjustment as when he was at WalMart, but an adjustment. I just don't see this as the time that Jill decides to start homeschooling. If she had been homeschooling, then it would probably be easier for her to just sit Izzy and Sam in front of some DVDs and toss them some workbooks, but Izzy is used to school and it would be another big adjustment for him. Sam has probably been looking forward to going to school like his big brother, and is probably feeling some jealousy over the new baby, and it would be difficult to settle him into a homeschooling routine. If they were homeschooling, it would probably be something they had talked about and planned and Jill would have posted stuff about different curriculums, etc. She's posted tons of stuff about the move, the new house, etc. I don't think she'd suddenly go silent about this. I don't even think that Jill has finally gotten a clue that plastering her kids and their schedule all over social media is a bad idea, I think she's just overwhelmed and doesn't have time for all of the posts she's done in the past. Plus, Derick is getting a paycheck now, and they may not need that extra click-cash to get by.

While I'm really glad that they let the kids dance, this has to be the worst imaginable pre-bedtime ritual imaginable. Get the kids all wound up, and then off to bed!