27bored

I missed you guys too! I got burned out on JJ and the dog cases , but after a break I think I’m ready to join the party...just in time for The Ponytail. So I’m gonna say I believe he did tell her she could work it off, and I’ll tell you why. His girlfriend seemed like the type who kinda doesn’t like giving head. She does it because she loves him but not, like, because she loves it, you know? So he probably saw Hillary Skank farting around, several of her Fronts missing, and decided to see What That Gap Do in exchange for not filing a lawsuit. But Tom Skanks wanted to get paid on top of that, and given he’s already giving his girlfriend his BAH, he couldn’t afford it. So he sued that ass. At least, that’s how it went in my brain.

Like I said a few weeks ago, I don't mind Meghan being bitchy because, well, she's going to get called one anyway. So go ahead and read bitches for filth. There's no love lost. I also said, and today's episode was a good example of it, that the other hosts force Meghan to defend shit she really shouldn't have to defend. Again: have your biases and points of view all you want, but at least bake some objectivity into the cake. Or, don't complain when your "opponents" fail to do so. Sunny is supposed to be this great prosecutor. If so, why didn't she check Whoopi about Page and Strzok? She "knows" that a prosecutor's case not only has to be strong in an evidentiary sense, but as a matter of integrity. So two FBI agents being removed from an investigation for bias, one of whom was fired altogether, is fair game for any trial. And so are text messages talking about "insurance policies" in case they win. Sunny also knows that Barr, just like any other AG, past, present, and future, serves at the pleasure of the President. So whining that he's not spilling the tea in these congressional hearings just sounds like a baby needs her bottle. No he's not going to tee Trump up for impeachment. He released a lengthy, lightly redacted report that didn't reach conclusions Whoopi and Sunny agreed with, so they "still have questions". That's why Meghan bottom-lined it and said impeachment is the only thing good enough for "some people". Because, well, yeah. The back-and-forth with Dershowitz and Sunny was slightly more interesting, but Sunny was once again acting like a legal bimbo instead of an experienced prosecutor. Sunny said that Mueller didn't reach a conclusion on obstruction because of DOJ policy (a conclusion he explicitly denies in the report and Barr testified was also not the case). Alan countered that, but there's also the point that Congress can't use the DOJ or Special Counsel to investigate a President they really want to impeach. Congress needs to conduct its own investigation if it wanted to do that. And if Mueller was going to punt based on DOJ policy, WHY WAIT 22 FREAKING MONTHS TO SAY IT? I'm sorry. I'll take bitchy Meghan who is at least intellectually honest even when I think she's being silly and/or wrong than Sunny who is smart but plays the role of a literal-minded idiot just so she can stay in people's good graces any day.

Uh, I have a question: Who at CBS approved of JJ’s haircut? Because, um, girl? I’m not sure if I’m feeling the Ruth Bader Sheindlin realness that she’s serving us. My stomach started hurting for no reason today and I was wondering why. Now I see. Somebody stole her Aquanet and bitch and it unsettled me.

Nobody's reducing her success down to her being with "a man", but let's not kid ourselves. Being married to someone who has a lot of wealth and fame does give you a certain leg up -- again, in obvious and not-so-obvious ways. Beyonce would probably even admit that. Even though, when you marry someone, it's not really your money/their money anymore, if Beyonce just used her own money to finance certain projects, she has the security in knowing the rest of her lifestyle isn't going to suffer. That's not the case if it's just a successful woman with a regular guy. All facts. So, you named songs from Katy Perry's period of peak popularity, two of those were from the same album. Those songs came out when pop music was still A Thing and she was able to use rappers as an accent. And yes, those songs are better than Bon Appetit. The point is, hip-hop is more dominant than it was in 2011-2014 when those songs came out. I agree Bon Appetit kinda sucked, but [small voice]so does Apeshit[/small voice]. Another example is Taylor Swift. She came out rapping and collaborated with Future and I wouldn't say her last era was unsuccessful, but there was definitely a fall off. Again: hip-hop was not the dominant pop sound back then. Timbaland and Pharrell are credible pop music producers; they have produced pop hits for several artists and it wasn't just hip-hop. They were able to alter their sound. And, as far as Stripped is concerned, if I'm not mistaken, Christina got flack from her label, Scott Storch, and Rockwilder (who produced "Dirrty" and is another hip-hop producer who produced pop hits) for the "urban/hip-hop" direction she went in on Stripped. It was trashed critically when it first came out, and there was even talk that her label rushed out "Beautiful" after Dirrty didn't do that well and the video got banned in a few countries.

Samantha was my favorite too but I felt like the show used her as an unrealistic celebration of women who don’t submit to traditional gender roles. Like, okay you have no interest in having kids...fine. I’ve heard many women who chose not to parent that even if they’re secure in that decision, your biological clock kind of kicks your ass a little bit for it. We never saw that type of internal struggle with Samantha, but fine. Ok, you’re not really into marriage. Eh, some women prefer to be alone, but Samantha wasn’t exactly a loner. She was an extrovert, had many acquaintances, personal and professional, and we know she loved sex. Fine, but I felt Samantha never gave commitment a real chance up until Smith, because she didn’t have to. She was an attractive woman who could find any number of single men to bang, so actually having to stick with one was completely preferential. In reality, ending a relationship so you can run the streets with your aging gal pals — all of whom have settled down — isn’t so much commendable as much as it is kind of tired. There’s a season for the partying and bed hopping, but after awhile, it’s time to grow up. And I’m holding Sam to the same standard I would a man in her position. Hooking up with a dude at a wedding is fun and sexy in your 20s. At, like 47? You’re kind of eating Thot Pockets for lunch. No shade.

Oh, absolutely. I’ve alwayd felt that without Beyonce Jay Z would be just a cool rapper from NYC. Most people only care about him because of the visibility he got from being with Beyonce. And you’re right Beyonce has amassed a lot of wealth on her own. But when you marry, it all goes into a pot, so to speak. And with Jay Z having a lot of wealth, certain things she wants to do are more attainable because of their combined wealth. So she can off-set the regular budget an artist would get for a series of music videos or a tour. If someone like Ariana Grande wanted to put together a performance like Beyoncé did at Coachella, she’d have to hope to get some major backing from sponsors and/or the label. Having access to capital is the key to most artists’ success; it’s even better if it’s your own money.

Re: Berger. He’s an example of what I meant by male characters doing things guys wouldn’t do. Berger had an attitude because Carrie said a NYC woman wouldn’t be caught out on the town wearing a scrunchie. Obviously Carrie was just giving him a hard time in a loving way. Any guy who has ever dealt with a woman for ten minutes knows that’s what they do sometimes. You know when she’s being good natured and when she’s just being a bitch. Carrie was OBVIOUSLY being the former. If anything, HE was being a bitch when he went after her hat because he was mad about the scrunchie. Same with Carrie asking if he was going to write when he went with her to jury duty and he asked if she thought he was going to just sit on his ass all day. Or when he scared her half to death because apparently he had a problem with her book doing better than his. They say never date a writer, but damn. Obviously they had a jokey relationship and he seemed to have a sense of humor, so these random moody teenager on Sunday night in high school outbursts just seemed weird. Where I thought Carrie was being a bit bitchy was during their date where Charlotte left her bad date to join them. I kinda felt like Berger should’ve told Carrie off. First of all, if I’m Berger, I’m already looking at Charlotte, a grown ass woman, a little funny because she can’t diplomatically end a bad date, if she had to “end it” prematurely at all. Most first dates don’t lead straight to the altar. It was going to end eventually. But fine, you have your silly ass “call and say something bad happened” system down. Whatever. The second way Carrie tried it is inviting her on their date after her date is over. Without even asking Berger if it was okay. You got me fucked up, Bradshaw. Really that’s not even something you should ask while on a date. Charlotte, I bailed you out, but I’m with my man right now; take your ass home and we’ll talk about it over breakfast tomorrow (because neither of you worked a full time job). And really, Charlotte shouldn’t have allowed herself to be invited to their date. Have some couth and wait until later to chit-chat with Carrie. The THIRD reason Carrie should’ve gotten cursed out is, after their date is interrupted by your co-dependent, petty ass friend with limited social etiquette, and then allowing herself to be invited on their date, now Berger has to sit and listen to you hoes talk about the bad date she just ended and what type of guy she hopes to find?! And then when he tries to be a good sport about his date being hijacked and makes a little joke about Harry and filler flowers, Carrie tries to check him?! She really said, “don’t say that to her” and he said, “oh sorry, I was just making a joke” and then Carrie goes “well it wasn’t funny”. Berger should’ve told both of them that their coochies stink, gave them the finger, and left. Who in the actual fuck are you talking to??? I see why Berger broke up with her ass on a Post-It. I was on her side back then but thinking about it now, oh hell no. Berger should’ve gone ghost on her with the quickness. As a matter of fact, had that been me, that Post-It would’ve been way more disrespectful. I would’ve said, “YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE WACK. I’M SORRY. DON’T HATE ME. BECAUSE IT’S NOT MY FAULT. BYE BITCH.”

I completely agree. I think that comes down to, well, Beyonce married a rich and famous dude, but besides that, Christina is like the Haley’s comet of pop music. Counting her proper albums, she released one album when I was in middle school, one album when I was in high school, one album when I was in college, and three this decade (four including the Burlesque soundtrack). Only a handful of features, didn’t tour for a decade, and barely knows to work the Internet.

By basic I’m usually referring to the lack of uniqueness and ordinariness I see in Beyonce that’s typically masked by the spectacle around her. I think Beyonce enjoys doing the pop/R&B thing punctuated by a certain amount of ratchetness to make it seem edgy. Like you mentioned, she’s supposed to be this feminist, empowering women, and then in the next breath calling women bitches and telling them to bow down. I think a right-wing radio host, maybe even Rush Limbaugh if you can believe it, made the same point. I think some of that is Jay-Z’s stank getting on her, but there’s always a little self-worship in her music. I agree with a lot of this, but I think some context is important. Unlike a lot of her contemporaries, Beyonce has never really taken a break. That’s a good and bad thing depending on how you look at it, but she’s never had to worry about a new crop of talent taking her spot, so to speak. Because she has yet to just go sit down somewhere. Also, and I know she struggled with this so I’m not trying to be insensitive at all, but Beyonce had kids later than most of her contemporaries. To give it some context, Beyoncé’s oldest just turned 7. Britney’s oldest will be 14 this year. Another thing, unlike many of her contemporaries, Beyonce married a rich and famous dude. That...matters in some obvious and not so obvious ways, but one way is that she can afford to bankroll many of her own projects on a large scale in a way most people in the industry couldn’t even if they wanted to. And, as weird as it may sound, Beyonce being black is kind of an asset to her in a way it isn’t to most of her white contemporaries. With hip-hop being so dominant in pop music these days, it’s easier for her to include those elements in her music than it would be for a white artist. Ex: Migos wrote Apeshit for her sand Jay-Z and people loved it. Imagine a Britney Spears song written by Migos. Heh, now I wanna hear that! But even they couldn’t help Katy Perry when they collaborated with her on “Bon Appetit”. So staying relevant is a tad bit easier for her in that regard. You mentioned Ariana Grande. She does one trap-ish song “7 Rings” and people have been eating her up over it for months. Had Beyonce done that same song, there would be no Twitter maelstrom to weather. People would just turn up.

Alright! Beyonce's Homecoming documentary. Let's talk about it. First, the good. Now for the critiques: All in all, it was a good doc. Didn't move the needle for me. I still think Beyonce is very ambitious, very talented, and works very hard, but can be kind of ridiculous and basic sometimes and inspires a lot of ridiculousness and basic-ness in her fans, but c'est la vie.

I'll always have a sizable soft spot in my heart for Aaliyah, but from an artistic standpoint she didn't bring a ton to the table regarding her music. She had a thin, girlish voice -- somewhere between Mya and Ashanti -- but her talent was her tone cut through Timbaland's busy, intricate hip-hop beats. She had a very conversational singing style that worked for her material, but I can see why a lot of people wouldn't be impressed. I will say, her last album is a classic, and I think We Need A Resolution deserves more recognition in the pantheon of pop hits from the aughts. Mya came out with a song called "Ready for Whatever" last year that I LOVED. It should be a hit, and it would be if she was backed by a major label. Ugh, guess who co-wrote it. Yup. R. Kelly. And I'm sorry, but I've always thought the cover to Moodring was funny. Mya looks like she's about to take a sexy shit. No, seriously: They're trying to make it a thing. BTS is a legit phenomenon -- not entirely sure why, but you can hear the good songcraft even without understanding the lyrics -- but they're trying and trying to make Blackpink happen, and I think there's a lot of money being passed around to do that. So I don't think K-Pop and a genre is as big as the media suggests. I think it's one act who caught on, so now they're hoping they can start a parade not unlike the Latin pop/trap thing.

Yeeeah, I hear you, but I'm still not rolling with the hot nanny and Harry boinking. In those examples there's a ton of money and also fame, so there's that "this guy could have a million women but he chose me" thing. Harry was a well-to-do, middle-aged attorney, with an attractive wife and two kids. And, on his face, not particularly charming. He obviously won Charlotte over while she was on the rebound, but I just couldn't see that happening. Obviously it could in a literal sense, but it wasn't such a possibility that Charlotte had to ruin her free luxury trip to Dubai by worrying about it because she was away. Kudos to both of you. I said something similar on the old TWoP boards and I've definitely said it about Girls: these female-centric shows love to make male characters do things either a guy wouldn't do (...I know, but I'm just saying) or that guy wouldn't do based on his character thus far, just to make a point about the female character. I don't see Aiden just breaking up with Carrie because she wouldn't marry him on the spur of the moment, even after he's bought her apartment and the one next door to make a home for them. I don't see Aleks inviting Carrie to Paris and then ignoring her for her two weeks while they install his stupid ass light installation. I don't see Big jilting Carrie, telling her, and then changing his mind thirty seconds later. It was just a lot of "let's make these characters do dumb shit just because".

I see. Even Charlotte being overwhelmed and needing a break — while living in a huge Park Avenue apartment she didn’t have to pay for, not working, and having a nanny — struck me as pat. I don’t know. It just seems like Rose was whooping her ass and not the other way around and that bothered me. They weren’t that stressed out. They had time to go to Connecticut for Stanford and Anthony’s wedding, so I mean...I don’t know. Yeah, possibly. But even that’s assuming a lot in Harry’s case. There are plenty of well to do lawyers in NYC. The hot nanny had options if that’s what she was going after. And it’s not even just the attraction level; Harry seemed old enough to be her dad. It just wasn’t happening.

But that’s not in the least bit coincidental. I’m not saying from one conversation to another, they need to make it easier for Meghan, I’m saying when they have political discussions on the show, Joy, Whoopi, and Sunny are going to agree, because they’re liberal women. Abby isn’t confrontational like Meghan, even though I get why, so that leaves Meghan to make the whole case for MAGA Nation every day, because her cohosts are liberal hacks. To be clear, I don’t find Meghan particularly smart or interesting. Even a lot of her points that she makes are kind of basic, but at the very least she’s not just spouting the GOP party line. I could put together a montage of her having differing opinions that aren’t lockstep with Republicans. I doubt I could put together five minutes of Joy agreeing with Republicans or praising a Republican President and she’s been on this show for 20 years.

Not to go tit-for-tat, but this what I meant by my analogy. If you say Nickleback sucks, we can generally agree. If you say every song Nickleback ever put out was garbage, I then have to “defend” them by naming some of their songs that were good. Or go along with your absolute statement. Meghan has to “defend” Trump because the rest of the panel is one note. I saw a clip from a week or so ago where Joy said there were no scandals under Obama. I literally stared at phone and went “woooooow...”. Even when the Mueller report came out and no charges were filed against after him insisting he didn’t collude with Russia, the panel couldn’t just admit that Trump was investigated and they got nothing on him, they had to sit and come up with every dumb reason to “withhold” judgment until the entire report comes out (which it never will). Joy said she felt Trump asking Comey to take it easy on Flynn was obstruction — then again she’s openly admitted she just wants him out of office — even though he wasn’t charged with that, either. Meghan was the one who had to say maybe a Trump supporter should be sitting here because I don’t like him, but he said he was innocent and he wasn’t charged after two years. It is what it is. Those are some examples of how she’s “forced” to defend Trump.

Exactly. Joy has barely had an opinion beyond Fuck Trump in damn near three years. She’s entitled to it, but that does make her one note. I wouldn’t be surprised if Meghan partially resented Joy for always making her be the Trump defender on the panel, even notionally, and that’s why she snapped at her. To use an example to illustrate my point: it would be like if you were having a conversation about music with a friend, and they said, “that band sucks” and you generally agree, or maybe even kind of agree but you take their point. Then they say, “every song, every album they put out was complete garbage”. Now you might agree that the band is bad in broad strokes, but you wouldn’t be that absolute. So then you offer a slight demurral: “well, I do like some of their songs/one of their albums” and then your friend says something “oooooh, so you DO like them. After all, you’re defending them.” See what I mean? It’s not about just giving her a turn to speak; Whoopi, Joy, Sunny, and Ana (when she’s there) sometimes do too much. Meghan doesn’t like Trump, and she has critiques of the Republican Party like they do. My point about respect is to say don’t always make her the milk in your espresso. Don’t always put her in the position to be the “well, actually...” chick. It makes her look contrary and argumentative and, well, bitchy. Some of that does come down to Meghan’s personality, but a lot of it is the dynamic of the show.

I don’t find Meghan to be any more pugilistic than her co-hosts, at least not naturally. I think she tries to be cordial because she knows her opinions are typically in the minority. And if you figure she’d probably be called a bitch anyway, it’s a hard case to say she’s being one from one from moment to the next. They're not doing her a favor by giving her a chance to speak. She’s a cohost on the show. My point is a little bit more than that. If they understand the dynamic of the show, when it comes to political topics, they need to show her more respect by allowing for the fact that she can’t duke it out with them when they start spouting talking points. Just letting Meghan make her point is fair in a conversational sense, but the show doesn’t encourage respect of her POV because they treat her like she’s just there to fill a quota. On an individual basis I don’t think any of these women should temper their point just for Meghan’s sake, but when it’s three of you basically making the same point, maybe you should just to give the show some equilibrium. And again, allow some room for her POV to percolate, not just give her 20 seconds to speak. I saw that more in order to have a balanced conversation, not just people taking their turn. The way the show dynamic is set up, it appears as though they barely tolerate Meghan’s POV, so in turn many in the audience barely respect it. I don’t agree with that at all. People give leeway to people they agree with. I don’t think Meghan earned the vitriol she gets at more than the other hosts.

Meghan’s not a victim or anything; I’m not saying all that. I’m saying I think the show needs to have more respect for the role she was hired to play. First of all, Meghan gets called a bitch at least a dozen times a week regardless what she says. So the fact that she made a bitchy comment yesterday, to me, is neither here nor there. She’s never going to win over their audience regardless what she says so she might as well have some nerve. I didn’t even like her comment — the idea that some people realized Kristjen Nielsen wasn’t the right person for the job means he’s taking orders from FOX News hosts is as hacky and petty as anything the rest of the panel said — but that’s why they need to show more respect for her opinions. Meghan’s not some one note Republican who has to defend her party at all costs — she never has been. I’m saying the rest of the panel should respect that about her and temper some of their Fuck Trump energy. That way she isn’t always in the position to play the spoiler. Being a Republican should not be seen as “contrary”, especially if the point of the show is to have women with different points of view.

I saw the entire segment. In my opinion the panel was pre-emptively shitting on her point, including Joy. It’s not this simple thing of everybody playing nice and waiting their turn to speak. I think Meghan was frustrated having to once again be the buzzkill to the Fuck Trump party. When she started speaking, I didn’t hear her put down anybody’s point, she just read her notes and said it was a big issue to people she knows, and then Joy had to offer a retort. To me, they know Meghan is the token Republican on the panel, like Elisabeth Hasselbeck was. I don’t begrudge anyone their opinion on either side, but the dynamic is manifestly going to be 3-4 against 1. At the very least show some respect for Meghan’s opinion given she’s always going to be outnumbered. JMO.

I’ll be in the minority and say I liked Meghan’s smack down. Joy is condescending and one note and doesn’t even try to have an opinion beyond “Trump sucks”. Not to get meta, but a lot of people are going to call Meghan a bitch regardless if she’s a sweet pea or not, so I’m glad she stuck up for herself.

Yeah, Miranda had way more good vibes for her friends than Steve. He might’ve grown to resent her a little bit. I just saw the second movie yesterday and I have a question. Well, several. For one, Charlotte said her youngest daughter Rose cried all the time. Rose was two, almost three. I don’t know much about babies but is that, uh, normal? Like, babies can be fussy and cry a lot for various reasons. But I thought by two they’re kind of coming out of that. Like, if a two year old is crying all the time doesn’t that mean something might be wrong. I don’t mean emotionally, but physically? And also, can someone explain why it was such a big deal that Big suggested two nights off? I get why it wouldn’t work for every couple, but it seemed to me Bug was just being pragmatic. Carrie was annoyed by Big wanting to lounge around watching TV, and Carrie needed time to write, so why not give each other two days to do your own thing? Either that, or Carrie stop being so butthurt about the man wanting to chill. And third, the whole “Harry might cheat with the nanny” storyline was beyond ridiculous. I’ve already said I’m in the minority who didn’t like Harry — smarmy, bare-assing white furniture, leaving tea bags all over the place, he can eat pork and sleep with Gentiles but when it comes time to marry he had to marry a Jewish woman, wanting to watch the game while having Shabbas dinner that Charlotte labored over — but to top all that off, I know beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but Charlotte ain’t nobody trying to fuck Harry but you. In fact part of the only reason you got with him is because he doted on you while you were on the rebound. I know the movie made the hot Irish nanny a lesbian, but even if she wasn’t, she wasn’t throwing it at Harry.

The only song by R. Kelly that I really like is "Cookie". In fairness to me, I liked it before I realized it was R. Kelly. I think it was on one of the Magic Mike soundtracks and it got some airplay. It's a really freaky song that leaves, like, zero to the imagination, but it's well-produced. It sounds like an accomplished musician who is trying to do something for the kids, which it was. Plus, there are some pretty good YouTube videos of people dancing to it.

Yeah I’ve never been crazy about R. Kelly, either. I think he’s one of those acts that was better than average in his prime and that’s all people remember.

Yeah, it’s a great song. And it’s one of those early songs that used snaps without sounding like a douche-y crossover attempt. It just worked as a light percussion accent. I ask because the production of the song was soft rock (for those days...now it would be considered Country). Lyrically, it’s very Country. Kid Rock is a rapper who turned out to be a serviceable roots rock singer, Sheryl Crow is a pop singer, and even though Allison Moorer is mainly a Country singer, she’s pretty malleable. All that said, Kid Rick has mainly had Country girls sing that part with him (Jessie James Decker, Kellie Pickler, Gretchen Wilson, LeAnn Rimes, etc). And speaking to the radio format, when that song was out, they used to play it on Top 40 radio (where you’ll hear stuff like Chainsmokers, Halsey, Ariana Grande, etc). Its funny that it’s so hard to peg that song, but that’s a testament to how good it is. I almost feel like Country music is full of mid-tempo numbers trying to recreate the magic of that song.

I’m curious: do you guys consider “Picture” by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow (or Allison Moorer, depending on which version you’re familiar with) a pop song, a soft rock song, or a country-pop song?