You, Me, Her - General Discussion

[Meredith Quill]

Here is where you can discuss You, Me, Her.

[possibilities]

Okay, I like the show. I don't love it, but it's OK.

I've been in serious relationships that were not monogamous (openly and with consent of all parties), but never a throuple. I don't know if I believe anything they say about throupledom, though. It's weird to me that the sex is really the only thing these people do together or find interesting about each other. They have nothing else in common and haven't even tried to do anything else or figure anything else out until now. And they are suddenly having a baby together? After knowing each other just a few weeks?

It's beyond absurd, even for TV.

But I still watch it. I like that they also show the monogamous couple oriented people having just as much drama and BS in their relationships, so it's not just a show about "that crazy threesome" but it's more about how crazy everyone is and how crazy people have crazy relationships, and also how relationships make people crazy.

I enjoy the evolution of Laurie and her daughter and the Boring Neighbors as much as I enjoy the throuple. And I find Izzy's friendship with her ex-roommate interesting in that neither of them wants to let the other go, even when they're in a new romance. So often tv shows friendships as totally disappearing when luv is happening. But I see just as much intensity between Izzy and her friend whose name for some reason I can't remember, as I see between any of the other characters.

[Cassandre]

Her name is Nina. And I like their friendship too. It's precious.

On 09/04/2017 at 10:12 AM, possibilities said:

They have nothing else in common and haven't even tried to do anything else or figure anything else out until now. And they are suddenly having a baby together?

The worst thing is I don't even know if the 3 of them want that baby. It seems to me that Jack is the only one to want it. Izzy only agrees to keep the relationship and Emma wants a baby because Jack wants a family. 

[dinkysquid]

I have watched this show a number of times and, try as I may, I don't like it. In face, I despise it. It's lame, it tries to hard in a - ooh...look how naughty we are! A THREESOME no less way!!!

Big roadblock is the characters. They're about as shallow as a birdbath and the worst one for me is Jack. He irritates the hell out of me and I don't know whether it's because he comes across as a spineless jerk or because I abhor his appearance. He always looks like someone snuck up behind him and shoved a finger up his butt. This perpetual expression of shock.  Or stupidity.

Now they want to bring a kid into it? Brilliant. Just what it needs.

[Misty79]

I finally finished season 2 on the weekend. I enjoyed season 1 but found this harder going for some reason. 

I felt really good about Emma standing the other two up at the end, though I suspect I'm not supposed to. I hope she takes the job and spends most of the next season working out her sexuality properly (with other people!). Jack comes across as so smug. I'm not sure I find it believable that Izzy would be into him, which is a big problem for me. Into Emma maybe, but not Jack. He's just so beige and annoying. 

As for having a baby. Whoa. Way too soon. They celebrate the idea by getting drunk, high and having wild sex. Yeah they sound like they're in the right mental space to raise kids! 

Nina and Izzy's friendship is the best thing about the show. The actors have great chemistry. 

Edited November 13, 2017 by Misty79

[whiporee]

There's always been a tough suspension of disbelief when it comes to Izzy's motivation for the throuple, or in being with Jack at all. I've always had a tough time with the quickness she dove into the relationship, and the season 3 premier only reinforced that. Her level of domesticity we've seen before, but it felt like she's working too hard with the wallpaper and redecorating the loft and her overalls. Especially since both the hillside conversation and the not-hangover one seemed to show she's not really ready to be settled down. So I don't know whether she's trying to give Jack another version of Emma or just keep him because she's scared of losing him or what. 

And Jack was right; he is too old for this shit. Not for Izzy, per se, but for having his life driven by his dick. You really are past most of that stuff at 40.  Jerry Seinfeld was right about being the orgy guy.

This show has never had much more going for it than the log line, but the previews make me think there's at least a chance there will be some actual development this year. Not counting on it, but you never know. The actors are good, and the premise is quirky and there's not a lot on, but I'd really like to see them write some stuff beyond the basic wackiness of being in a perpetual threesome. 

[possibilities]

Are there any people in real life throuples writing for this show? Sure doesn't look like it

I agree they are wasting a lot of potential on "refusal to communicate" and other transparent devices.

I like that they show the couples in more common style relationships have basically the same problems, though.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Greg Poehler, Rachel Blanchard & Priscilla Faia discuss You Me Her

[Tvtimebomb]

I can't stand this show, but I still watch. WTH?

 

Of course Emma is preggo ,ugh.  Has this show already jumped the shark?

 

As as others have mentioned, Jack is as exciting as a beige wall. What does Izzy see in him, or for that matter, Emma?  I'd be fine if he wasn't in any scene again.   The bar tender has more personality than Jack.

 

Please, why does Izzy want a baby with a 40 year old?  She's getting her PhD, I can't see a baby fitting into that life for a good while.  

 

Interesting relationships for me:

Izzy and her friend, they play off one another really well. 

Emma and Izzy, although Emma seems pretty vanilla too. The first season they had great chemistry. I found myself wishing Jack would disappear in the third episode so these two could interact without his drama. 

Emma's friend and her boss.  Those two can be a hoot if written correctly  I like Emma's friend's husband too.  He has good comedic timing.   

 

I miss the the salty neighbor and her snarky teenage daughter from previous seasons.

Edited April 4, 2018 by Tvtimebomb

[possibilities]

So the bartender is in love with Izzy's friend? I guess the entire premise of the show is that relationships make no sense and attraction is random?

[whiporee]

Didn't Izzy leave them at the end of S1? I don't get why she's so upset with Emma. 

If they're making a case she's got abandonment issues then they really need to flush her out more instead of making her so gosh-darn wonderful. She's practically an elf with all her wisdom and goodness -- I'd really like to see her fuck up in a way that requires some degree of penance from her. Jack and Emma have done their share of groveling to her -- if you're going to have a show about relationships, then it shouldn't be caught up in wonder-hooker mode with one of its three main characters. 

Jack and Emma have their problems as characters, too, but Izzy stands out because everything she does is just so fantastically awesome. Regardless of the way she portrays herself, there are usually issues behind someone both young and "liberated," and it would be nice to see some development of that.

[possibilities]

I actually think all three of them are coming across incredibly annoying this season. It hasn't occurred to me that Izzy was supposed to be seen as sympathetic or wonderful right now.

I think they're making the bartender into a magical masculine dream boy, which annoys me, but I think he's the one the show thinks is wonderful.

I still really like Emma's friend whose name I can't remember (the neighbor who's trying to get her husband not to be a dick). But everyone else this season to me is just incredibly juvenile and deathly irritating.

[whiporee]

I might be closing in on done. if they would just move either The Americans or The Expanse to Tuesdays, I could go to be earlier on Wednesdays and life would be good. 

Not even the sex scenes work for me any more. They aren't hot and they aren't creative, and in reality, threesomes are cumbersome and very much sensation based. All this wierd finding ways to kiss two people at once is just boring. Beyond that and cussing a lot, there's nothing going on here we haven't seen.

Thought Izzy's friend and the bartenders ode-to-romcoms was sort of sweet, if as cliched as cliched could be, and no one really wants to walk THAT far during a date. Especially after a movie because, you know, popcorn. 

I dunno. Everyone's complaints are valid. Izzy's perfect and bratty, Jack and Emma are flat out boring. Just bad characters at this point. 

I can't even really come up with plot points to argue. It's just meh, something to watch because I can't get into Genius, and the only really good part of Maddow is to watch the first 10 minutes. 

[possibilities]

I think this show's main virtue is that it's really trying to provide representation that normalizes polyamory. It's one of the few shows that has done that, and media representation does matter. But it's not really doing much else. It's like the early days of LGBTQ rights, when having ANY character who wasn't 100% hetero was groundbreaking and amazing and a very big deal.

I go back and forth between really appreciating the effort and being very happy to see any representation at all, and being irritated and impatient because... all the reasons.

[Tvtimebomb]

I used to follow the show's account on IG and was always shocked how much positive feedback it received.  I started to wonder if I was missing something, then I come here and feel validated.  This show is awful.  It's so bad that I like most of the side characters more and more while hating the main characters more with each new episode. 

I concur with the previous poster, the sex scenes are down right boring and awkward.  Come to think of it, I'm not sure they've had one all season that wasn't just finagling each other for a kiss.

Edited May 22, 2018 by Tvtimebomb

[whiporee]

I really thought they were working to a reasonable conclusion -- they had fun, but in the end it was just one of those things. Episode Nione was the best one they've done -- everything felt authentic for the first time in a while. 

And then they did whatever that was. 

Yay, nonsensical relationship. Yay dynamics that have the maturity of twelve year olds. Yay secondary characters needing to find out who they are, or that just stop making any kind of sense at all. 

And still no good sex scenes. Not even any hot girl-on-girl action. Nothing. 

I guess it's done. Nowhere to go from here. 

[viajero]

For all its obvious faults, I did end up enjoying this series.  It helped that I found Season 3 to be a bit of an improvement over Season 2.  I guess I'm okay with ending, even if entirely predictable.  

My biggest problem is that it never seemed all that believable that Izzy would fall so hard for the other two.  At least there was a some visible sexual attraction at times between her and Emma, but there was nothing with Jack.  In fact, the person with whom Izzy had the most obvious chemistry was her friend Nina.  For a moment in Episode 9 they seemed to be hinting that the two of them might finally recognize this and end up together.  I guess at least that would have been a less predictable ending.

Finally, I would think it would be pretty hard to find that many people living in Portland who would be so shocked by a poly relationship.  It would have been more believable if they had set the story in almost any other city.

[possibilities]

I wish they had spent more time actually showing them relating, instead of just fighting about whether or how to commit. It was really all about "will they or won't they?" and not about them actually living it.

So that made the show only about the question of polyamory itself, and not really about the characters. It was also just weird to me that they never bothered to try to find other poly people or to get advice or find friends who would understand.

The ease with which they found someone to officiate the commitment ceremony kind of makes it even more ridiculous that they never bothered to seek community like that before. I mean, like has been said: it's Portland! But even if it wasn't, there's the internet-- it's not hard to find out that you're not the first or only people involved in something like this, and to find out how others have managed it, and that it's not totally untraveled territory.

[whiporee]

So for some reason it appears to be back. 

More awkward three-way kissing, I guess? Maybe there's a big demand for it that I haven't seen. 

[possibilities]

The entire show so far has been them deciding to not be ashamed of or ambivalent about being in the relationship. Maybe they will finally show us something more of them actually living the relationship itself. They'll either be getting ready for a newborn or will actually have a kid, so that's a whole other dimension of relating. Parenting adds complexity but also forces focus.

[whiporee]

It would actually be pretty cool if they showed it being a real struggle -- Izzy and Emma competing/arguing about the best way to mother the baby. Jack having all of this stuff to deal with -- it would be good if they really got into the interpersonal stuff that would be going on. 

I'll remain hopeful. 

[possibilities]

The show is back. I had thought it was canceled, but apparently not.

The first episode of the season was kind of mild and low key.

They're together, Emma is pregnant, they are deciding where to live. Izzy's dad is around, and seems to get along with Izzy and support the throuple. They find out they're having twin girls when they'd previously thought there was only one.

Izzy's friend whose name I've forgotten is with the bartender. Not sure what happened to the other dude. Neighbor friend of Emma is stressed because her husband published a book and went on a book tour and she's alone and frustrated about her own career.

Not much to say yet. It was mostly set up.

[whiporee]

Too slow for me. I think this show gets lost in its premise more often than not, because I can't think of a compelling storyline they've had yet. 

It's like they got greenlighted on a show about a threesome, and then thought they were done, and the rest has just been filling in gaps. There are good storylines in this -- like how the abandonment of the idea of monogamy changes your overall thoughts about fidelity, for example. What does Izzy do for insurance? What is the mortgage on this new house going to look like? Why does Jack get two women but neither of the women get two men? What if they ran into a more exploitive throuple? 

It's not a comedy, so they aren't limited by trying to be funny. But it would be good to see them try to be something other than a zoo exhibit. 

[possibilities]

I think they are trying to start exploring a little of that, with Emma starting to research other polyamorous people, mentioning how voting is bad for the relationship, or how it's "a poly foul" that they always have sex all three together (though when they did it two at a time in the past, it seemed to disrupt the situation, not strengthen it) . I agree they could do it more. I hope they will.

I don't think the women want another guy. They want each other as much as they want the male of the group.

I definitely felt frustrated by how the show used to be focused almost entirely on them feeling like freaks and being treated like freaks. They live in a time and place where there are definitely other poly people around, and they never even thought to look for any before, for support?? But I do kind of like that now that they've over that, they are being treated as any other marriage, where there are joys and there are conflicts and there are crises and there are all the other mundane things in any marriage, including dealing with the pregnancy issues and impending parenting, mortgages, jobs, etc. In a way, it makes them LESS in the "zoo animal" syndrome.

[whiporee]

I didn't get the white guy in the couple having the kind of power he did. And I didn't get why he was upset, and why he wouldn't want them there. 

I think it is absolutely shitty and unrealistic for Emma to just decide because she's having twins that Izzy can't. Izzy could -- and should -- leave, but Jack and Emma seemed to make this decision without their partner, and that's flat out unacceptable. Izzy's tirade about them all coming full circle was great, and the perfect way for them all to end this silly experiment. And then she backtracked for a reason I don't understand at all. 

But in the end, this is what I realized -- there is no chemistry in the throuple. Izzy says she gets sick whens he thinks about not being with Jack and Emma, but she doesn't show it at all. for her to willingly stay in this kind of relationship, the passion and emotions would almost need to be obsessive but she's totally clinical both in her conversations and her actions. Unless I'm missing something, there doesn't seem to be passion or desire shown by any of them and maybe that's why the show only barely works for me.  

[possibilities]

I was really, horribly disappointed that they went this way, because I agree that Jack and Emma were not only wrong to just make that decision, but also they were incredibly rude and insulting to her when they announced it.

And I don't know why in the world Izzy backed down and acted like it was just a moment of normal compromise.

To me, that was a serious breach of trust and respect, which should not be just allowed to stand. I was horrified.

I admit I think the whole HOA is in itself bullshit. But I was okay with compromising on the color of a door, and definitely with cleaning up the eggs you never should have thrown. But the rest of it? No way.

I also agree about the other couple, and how utterly obnoxious the one guy is, and what the hell is his motivation.

I wonder if the people writing this show have any actual experience with poly relationships or with Seattle. That's where they live, isn't it? Or is it Portland? Either way, it really seems like the show doesn't get the culture on any level.

I also don't know why the very decent bar owner is at all into Izzy's friend who is unpleasant all the time.

The premise of this show seems to be: no accounting for taste!

[whiporee]

I finally got around to watching he season finale. 

Boy, did that suck. 

I was hoping the whole time that there would be real conversations, real discussions. But nope. just the guy crushing on Izzy bringing up shit that they all should have been talking about for a LONG time. 

I'd point out all the things that didn't make sense, but that would be all of the show. So I guess there's one more. My guess it's more of the same, only this time it's IZZY who leaves. If they went one more maybe Jack would. 

Yikes.