Mary: Does She Want to be Amish Anymore?

[OnceSane]

Your Mary topic!

[Willowsmom]

What is the Thrive Mary says she sells?

[Thumper82003]

Just my opinion, but I think if she could keep her husband and family and turn English she would. As others said she wants her cake & eat it too.

[Lady Edith]

I don't think Mary has been Amish for a very long time.  She hangs on there for Chester.  But what she doesn't see is her actions hurt him.  Or she doesn't care.  More like she doesn't care.

I know someone around Mary's age who acts similarly.  It's extremely frustrating to live with their selfish whims.  I can't imagine what poor Chester goes through.  If they are even together anymore.

[Complexity]

36 minutes ago, Lady Edith said:

I don't think Mary has been Amish for a very long time.  She hangs on there for Chester.  But what she doesn't see is her actions hurt him.  Or she doesn't care.  More like she doesn't care.

I know someone around Mary's age who acts similarly.  It's extremely frustrating to live with their selfish whims.  I can't imagine what poor Chester goes through.  If they are even together anymore.

I agree; however, I don't feel sorry for Chester. He had an idea what she was like when he married her. She was wild when she was English when younger and even had a child (out of wedlock, right?). Surely, Chester could not have expected her to be a perfect Amish angel with what he saw. But even if he did, then that's his fault.

Mary is not Amish in my opinion. She simply hangs onto the things she likes from the Amish community. I think it's disrespectful to them, but I suspect she's more than happy to give them the middle finger that way. I think Mary's behavior while wearing Amish clothing in public is her saying "FU" to all the Amish who shunned her and prevented her from being at her father's funeral (which is truly horrible that anyone would do that to another human being). She is being passive-aggressive. It may be childish, but it may be the only way she has found to retaliate against what she believes was unfair treatment.

[Evil Queen]

As I said elsewhere, I think she wears it for the attention it brings here and nothing more. I question if she wears it all the time as she claims as well. I can imagine one day someone will snap some pics of her in a casino in regular "English" clothes. If not she is wearing it for the damn attention it would bring her as she sits doing things she shouldn't. 

I agree that Chester should have had some idea about her because she did get pregnant out of wedlock and with an "English" guy's child. Yet maybe he didn't assume it would have been this bad as time went on. Who knows. We have no clue if he is living Amish either or if they are separated or what. Those are the things one wonders when watching this mess since we all know Mary is not Amish at this point and hasn't been for a long time. 

[orangeiguana]

On 5/18/2017 at 4:45 PM, Evil Queen said:

As I said elsewhere, I think she wears it for the attention it brings here and nothing more. I question if she wears it all the time as she claims as well. I can imagine one day someone will snap some pics of her in a casino in regular "English" clothes. If not she is wearing it for the damn attention it would bring her as she sits doing things she shouldn't. 

I agree that Chester should have had some idea about her because she did get pregnant out of wedlock and with an "English" guy's child. Yet maybe he didn't assume it would have been this bad as time went on. Who knows. We have no clue if he is living Amish either or if they are separated or what. Those are the things one wonders when watching this mess since we all know Mary is not Amish at this point and hasn't been for a long time. 

Honestly, she's so large it would be very frustrating to find "English" clothes that fit, not to mention figure out how to style her hair, etc. So I'd bet she's sticking with the Amish garb out of ease and comfort.

Her behavior does put Chester in a bad position, since the Amish cannot divorce. I can't tell how old she is...early 50s maybe? But she is clearly at high risk medically, and Amish don't seem to see doctors much. As horrible as this sounds, she may leave Chester widowed soon at the rate she's going. I wonder why he agreed to participate in the show at all.

[Evil Queen]

5 hours ago, orangeiguana said:

Honestly, she's so large it would be very frustrating to find "English" clothes that fit, not to mention figure out how to style her hair, etc. So I'd bet she's sticking with the Amish garb out of ease and comfort.

Her behavior does put Chester in a bad position, since the Amish cannot divorce. I can't tell how old she is...early 50s maybe? But she is clearly at high risk medically, and Amish don't seem to see doctors much. As horrible as this sounds, she may leave Chester widowed soon at the rate she's going. I wonder why he agreed to participate in the show at all.

I've seen bigger women than her in theme parks with regular clothes so its not impossible really. Yet I agree that she is a high risk medically. Its been proven with her winding up in the hospital at one point. She does nothing the doctors told her it seems like so she stays as she is. No diet change or exercise at all. I agree, I wonder why he agreed to show up on this mess from time to time. Was it they needed the money? Or more than likely he really isn't very Amish anymore either, maybe? Either she obviously shows she doesn't think of him in anything she does. Which is sad for him. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

I thought Mary got pregnant out of wedlock during Rumspringa and joined the church when she returned back home and then married Chester.  I remember her telling the story, but the details are lost to me.

i think after she was banned from attending her father's funeral, that was the last straw for her.  We can't imagine treating anyone like that,but that seems to be part of shunning and other sanctions the Amish use to punish members who won't fall in line. Can't imagine how heartbreaking this was for her.

Her behavior affected Chester to the point that he's now banished. I don't know if that means they are through now.  The Amish aren't letting Mary have it both ways, but I think she maintained the dress and things she liked about being Amish to please Chester more than anything else. Chester seemed content to stay Amish, but maybe  he's left the church or found a more tolerant sect.

[Evil Queen]

Here is my feelings on things with Mary. We know she got pregnant by an "English" guy and he wanted nothing to do with the baby according to what she says. So she has no place to turn but go back home to her Amish family. If I remember right she was out in the "English" world though for 2 yrs so its not like it was some short time out and this all happened. I take it her parents probably set it up for her to marry right away and Chester was the unfortunate one. Adopts her son as his own and they go on to have their own. Meanwhile she has already had the taste of being out of the Amish life for 2 yrs at the very least in the past. I don't think she was every going to go back to being Amish if she hadn't got pregnant like she did. So she probably the whole time went out and played "English" any chance she got. This show though gave her a chance to do more than she might have before because it was fitting the bill for it all and paying her. 

Honestly I will admit that if something happened to me before others, there are certain family I would want banned from my own funeral/service. I know its different from shunning like Amish but in a way I have done it to certain family myself and for damn good reasons. I wouldn't be surprised though if she was shunned long before this all happened and her father passed. Which as sad as it is, this is the way things happen and she knows it. It happens outside the Amish as well where some are not welcome. Some of those same I would ban, probably would have been banned from my grandma's as well if my uncle could have been able to do so. 

At the end of the day though Mary has proved she is a VERY selfish person and nothing more. She didn't care how her actions would affect her real family and especially her husband. She didn't take into account how these things will affect their way of life for the rest of their lives. All she cares about is she can do what she wants and when she wants no matter what happens to anyone. 

I would love to know if she wears the Amish outfit outside the show or not still. I am thinking that IF she does its all for the attention it would bring her. I agree with those saying its disrespectful at this point how she still wears it. Comfort or not, she isn't Amish at all so she needs to quit and learn to have some respect for others.