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Willow: (excited) I think I'm a groupie!

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Xander: Amy. Good to see you. You're a witch.

Amy: No, I'm not. That, that was my mom, remember?

Xander: Yeah, I'm thinking it runs in the family. I saw you working that mojo on Ms. Beakman. Maybe I should go tell somebody about...

Amy: That's not even... That is so mean!

Xander: Blackmail is such an ugly word.

Amy: I didn't say blackmail.

Xander: Yeah, but I'm about to blackmail you, so I thought I'd bring it up.

Amy: What do you want?

Xander: What do I want? I want some respect around here. I want, for *once*, to come out ahead. I want the Hellmouth to be working for me. You and me, Amy... we're gonna cast a little spell.

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Xander: Right. I intend revenge. Pure as the driven snow. Now, are you gonna play, or do we need to have another chat about invisible homework?

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Xander: Come on, I'm not gonna add to the Cordelia Chase castoff collection.

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Xander: Hello! Excuse me, but have you ever heard of knocking?

Jonathon: We're supposed to get some books. On Stalin.

Xander: Does this look like a Barnes & Noble?

Giles: This is a school library, Xander.

Xander: Since when?

Giles: Uh, y-yes, yes, uh, third row. Historical biographies.

Jonathon: Thanks.

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Giles: Yes. Uh, uh, look, it's-it's classic battle strategy to throw one's opponent off his game. He-he-he's just trying to provoke you. Uh, to taunt you, to, to goad you into, uh, some mishap of some sort.
Xander:  The nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah approach to battle?

Giles: Yes, Xander, once more you've managed to boil a complex thought down to its simplest possible form.

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Buffy: You know, I just . . . I woke up, and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, "hey, what's with all the sin? I need to change. I'm . . . I'm dirty. I'm, I'm bad with the . . . sex and the envy and that, that loud music us kids listen to nowadays. W--" Oh, I just suck at undercover. Where's Ken?

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BUFFY: Harmony, when you tried to be head cheerleader, you were bad. When you tried to chair the homecoming committee, you were really bad. But when you try to be bad ... you *suck*.

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WILLOW: You don't know how to drive? Why didn't you say you don't know how to drive?
ANYA: Well, I couldn't know if I could until I tried, could I?

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XANDER: Where's Dawn?
TARA: She, she's in the bedroom, she fell asleep.
XANDER: Good.
WILLOW: What's goin' on?
XANDER: Buffy's gone insane.
WILLOW: What? What'd she do?
XANDER: Brace yourself. You're not gonna believe it.
TARA: Everyone, before we jump all over her, people do strange things when someone they love dies. When I lost my mother, I-I did some pretty dumb stuff, like lying to my family and staying out all night.
ANYA: Buffy's boinking Spike.

WILLOW: Oh ... well, Ta-Tara's right. Grief can be powerful, and we shouldn't judge-
TARA: What are you, kidding? She's nuts!

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WILLOW: I'll say this for the Y chromosome ... looks good in a tux.
XANDER: Well, your double X's don't look too bad there, either.
WILLOW: You're getting married. My little Xander.
XANDER: All growed up.
WILLOW: It's a good thing I realized I was gay, otherwise, hey, you, me and formal wear...

WILLOW: Do you know how much I love you?
XANDER: Mmm ... 'bout half as much as I love you.

WILLOW: You ready for the long walk?
XANDER: Um ... yeah, just give me a sec, I wanna work on my vows.
WILLOW: Take your time. It's not like we can start the wedding without you.

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DAWN: Buffy ... look at me. I'm right here. You're my sister. I need you and love you. Somewhere inside you must know that's real.
BUFFY: Sure it is. 'Cause what's more real? A sick girl in an institution...
DAWN: Don't. Please. Listen to me.
BUFFY: Or some kind of supergirl ... chosen to ... fight demons and... save the world. That's ridiculous. A girl who sleeps with the vampire she hates?! Yeah, that makes sense.

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WILLOW: You can't stop this.
XANDER: Yeah, I get that. It's just, where else am I gonna go? You've been my best friend my whole life. World gonna end ... where else would I want to be?
WILLOW: Is this the master plan? You're going to stop me by telling me you love me?
XANDER: Well, I was going to walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but ... it seemed kinda cartoony.
WILLOW: Still making jokes.
XANDER: I'm not joking. I know you're in pain. I can't imagine the pain you're in. And I know you're about to do something apocalyptically (glancing back at the statue) evil and stupid, and hey. I still want to hang. You're Willow.
WILLOW: Don't call me that.
XANDER: First day of kindergarten. You cried because you broke the yellow crayon, and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, ending the world, not a terrific notion. But the thing is? Yeah. I love you. I loved crayon-breaky Willow and I love ... scary veiny Willow. So if I'm going out, it's here. If you wanna kill the world? Well, then start with me. I've earned that.
WILLOW: You think I won't?
XANDER: It doesn't matter. I'll still love you.

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From After Life:

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ANYA: Remember that bookstore? Well they became one of those books-and-coffee places, and now they're just coffee. It's like evolution, only without the getting-better part.

Note:  I pretty much loathe and despise every second of this episode (it was the ep that convinced me that the show was irrevocably broken and doomed), except for this one line.  Which, now that I look at the line juxtaposed with my emotions, makes it meta-commentary, of a sort.

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Buffy: You know what, Cam? Thanks. I'd forgotten how nice it is to just talk, or, in my case, listen, without any romantic pressure.

Cameron: Hey... I'm not about pressure. I just want you to be comfortable.

Buffy: I'm comfy! I'm so comfy, I'm nodding off actually, which is why...

Cameron: Are you wearing a bra?

Buffy: What?

Cameron: Come on. I mean, tell me you haven't been thinking about this ever since last night.

Buffy: What I'm thinking about is that I should probably get out of this car...

Cameron: Relax. I'm not gonna hurt you.

Buffy: Oh, it's not me I'm worried about.

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Cameron: Hey! Watch it.

Xander: Oh, forgive me, your Swim Teamliness.

Cameron: Loser.

Xander: Likin' the nose, Cam. Good look for you.

Cameron: Meaning what?

Xander: Meaning Buffy must not be on your list of privileges after all. Man, I love it when you guys mess with her.

Cameron: You're lucky I'm hungry.

Xander: Oh, the cafeteria's closed.

Cameron: Not to me.

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Can you believe that it has taken me nineteen years to realize that B/X/G's delight at finding out that Willow is alive here is meant to mirror Vamp Willow's disgust at finding Xander alive in the earlier Bronze scene?  All a matter of perspective, I suppose.

Edited by Halting Hex
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5 hours ago, lembergwatcher said:

Jike or Spoyce? That'd be too gross even for Joss.

Things Xander never said in season 6 (but should have).

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I quite like the idea, I always felt Spike was so keen on Dawn because she was the closest thing he could get to Buffy, Joyce was the same AND legal. 

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I mean, I'm not big on Faith's refusal to take any responsibility for her own actions, but she does have a point:  a giant knife deep in the gut does tend to discourage reconciliation.

(Okay, so Buffy ran Angel through with a sword.  But he had centuries to get over it.  She can't expect to always be that lucky.)

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3 minutes ago, Halting Hex said:

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I mean, I'm not big on Faith's refusal to take any responsibility for her own actions, but she does have a point:  a giant knife deep in the gut does tend to discourage reconciliation.

(Okay, so Buffy ran Angel through with a sword.  But he had centuries to get over it.  She can't expect to always be that lucky.)

What a shame they never did go for tea?

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13 hours ago, Halting Hex said:

I can totally see R.J. being the loser his brother describes him as, pre-jacket.  Even with the jacket, he's not exactly a compelling personality.

He's a good looking football star with a hidden sensitive side, He doesn't need the jacket. 

12 hours ago, lembergwatcher said:

Well, yeah. If asked about him the only thing I can recall is the jacket. The Jacketman he was. And he helped Buffy to re-enact some of the "good old days" of little naughtiness with Spike in that classroom (for few minutes at least).

Yeah, it was nice to see the Buffster and Dawn get a little raunchy 

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I HATED that one.  Kissing up to the musical act by giving her lines, breaking the "people don't know" trope for no appreciable reason and "vampire towns"?  Sunnydale is on a freaking Hellmouth, it's supposed to be unique.

In short, shut it, Aimee Mann.

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6 hours ago, Halting Hex said:

Sunnydale is on a freaking Hellmouth, it's supposed to be unique.

There was another one in Cleveland (if I remember everything correctly) and who knows where else. Sunnydale supposed to be the only one, but Joss & Co probably changed their minds.

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I figured that the Hellmouth, "a center of mystical convergence", had become active relatively recently, and thus was drawing the more adventurous vampires to it.  Thus Buffy is needed, and she gets steady work, but it's not as if this is the only Hellmouth on Earth…others are running at low energy and might just have smattering of the undead hanging around.  After all, the Gorches were in Abilene, and Angel was all over the place (New York, LA, Montana).  And the Slayer would be where she's most needed:  China, wherever Sid and the Korean girl were, etc.

But the idea that certain towns are notorious for having vampires, to the extent. that traveling bands know about it, just annoys me.

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12 hours ago, Halting Hex said:

I figured that the Hellmouth, "a center of mystical convergence", had become active relatively recently, and thus was drawing the more adventurous vampires to it.  Thus Buffy is needed, and she gets steady work, but it's not as if this is the only Hellmouth on Earth…others are running at low energy and might just have smattering of the undead hanging around.  After all, the Gorches were in Abilene, and Angel was all over the place (New York, LA, Montana).  And the Slayer would be where she's most needed:  China, wherever Sid and the Korean girl were, etc.

But the idea that certain towns are notorious for having vampires, to the extent. that traveling bands know about it, just annoys me.

I always figured that the Hellmouth started to grow more powerful in the run up to the Ascension, perhaps a side effect was allowing the Master to rise?

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21 hours ago, Halting Hex said:

So Tara wants a Giles of her own, huh?  I see you, "lesbian".  Watch out, Willow, you've got another cheater on your hands…

(I think there actually is "Tiles" fanfic out there, somewhere.)

His voice is pleasant....

18 hours ago, lembergwatcher said:

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Of course in everyone's memories it's actually Dawn Angelus takes hostage. 

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1 hour ago, Joe Hellandback said:

Of course in everyone's memories it's actually Dawn Angelus takes hostage. 

Oh, God, I hope not. (Why would Dawn be at the school at night, anyway?). Aside from everything else (diminishing Willow's place in their memories), Angel has enough problems reintegrating if the gang remembers his calling 11-year-old Dawn "a turn-on".  

I mean, falling in "love at first sight" with 14-year-old Buffy was bad enough, honestly,

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I love that Willow has to clarify that.  But "this being Sunnydale and all…" you never can be too sure, indeed.

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So, so perfect.  Possibly my favorite scene in Season 4.  Definitely up there with "NOTHING CAN DEFEAT THE PENIS!!" in Beer Bad and the elevator-shaft hug in Primeval.

nosleepforme asked how Dawn damaged the Scooby dynamics in another thread.  THIS, right here.  Nothing like this in the freaking Dawnverse, and IMO the show is far, far poorer for it.

(Tara may also be part of the problem.  Can't have Buffy comforting Willow if Willow has a girlfriend, I suppose.  Perhaps it's not a coincidence that Amber has the episode off.)

Edited by Halting Hex
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