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"Paige Is Proposing Violence Against the Monkey!" - Quotable Charmed

bettername2come

By bettername2come
in Charmed [V]

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4evaQuez

4evaQuez

So here is a line that I've always loved and use in my actual life. No one understands why I find this line so hilarious - honestly, even I don't.

 

It's from Season 4, "The Fifth Haliwheel." The sisters are in the bathroom getting ready together - this is one of my favorite scenes of Charmed for some reason - when Phoebe asks Paige would Paige like to come lingerie shopping with her and Piper. Paige responds:

 

Paige: "Oh, I can't, Sweety. I have to go to that evil place where they keep my paycheck." 

 

Honestly, just typing that out makes me smile. I truly love this quote for some unknown reason.

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magicdog

magicdog

The sisters are in the bathroom getting ready together - this is one of my favorite scenes of Charmed for some reason - when Phoebe asks Paige would Paige like to come lingerie shopping with her and Piper.

 

 

 

I always thought it was a good scene because it reminded us of the girls having a sister moment.  the first true sister like moment since Paige came in.  I know I could easily have seen the exact scene with Prue.  In fact, Prue could have easily said the same line - if she were still working at Bucklands!

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Kohola3

Kohola3

Piper to her father just after the new stepmother was blown up: "I'm sorry about your demon wife".  Not sure why that always tickled me but maybe because of the way she gasps it out while in labor.

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helenamonster

helenamonster

Pretty much anything out of Piper's mouth was solid gold. A random one that I'm remembering now (mostly because the line Kohola3 posted is from the same episode): "I may be stuck in bed, but I am not stuck on stupid!" Even typing it out doesn't do it justice. HMC's delivery was always spot-on.

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blueray

blueray

Paige: "the sun came up again" (especially when I have to be at work early)

Darryl: "that snake tong blond is looking better and better"

And for some reason I have always liked:

Phoebe: "why did you try to vanquish watermelon?

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bettername2come

bettername2come

  • Author
(edited)

Chris: Hey, I am not unreasonable. We can hunt demons after lunch.

 

Chris: I'm overreacting?! There's a demon in the playpen!

 

Criminal: How'd you do it,man? How'd those bullets bounce right off your chest like that?

Darryl: I'm a badass, that's why.

Edited by bettername2come
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helenamonster

helenamonster

After watching "Witches in Tights" fairly recently (I know, I know), there was one line that I cracked up laughing at that had completely gone over my head when I was younger, and I'm kinda surprised they managed to sneak it in. So Paige's subplot in the episode is how she's having some, uh, intimacy issues, which she discloses to Piper. Later, there's this exchange between Piper and Phoebe:

Phoebe: Is Paige coming?
Piper: Apparently not.

It might beat out "Paige is proposing violence against the monkey!" as my favorite line in the whole series.

Also, from "The Three Faces of Phoebe" ...

Paige: Aren't you worried about Little Phoebe going back to the past and talking about everything she saw here?
Piper: No. As soon as she starts going on about the future, Grams will cast some kind of spell on her to make her forget.
Paige: That's nice.
Piper: That's Grams.

There's something about Rose's delivery of "That's nice" that just kills me.

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Esmeralda

Esmeralda

You guys got most of my favorites.  Here's some more:

Piper: I have nothing to be afraid of. I have nothing to be afraid of. (She gets out of her car and walks over to the church door. She holds onto the handle and pulls it open. She pokes her foot inside to make sure nothing happens. She steps inside and smiles.) I'm good!

'I've Got You Under My Skin'

Piper: Can I keep my shoes on?

' Witch Trial'


Piper: All right, I'm only doing this for you guys and if I get killed, I'm gonna haunt the both of you forever.

'How to Make a Quilt out of an American'
 

Prue: Yeah, yeah. I'll just run up to the altar room, which by the way, is right next to the potions lab, and I'll be right back.

Prue: But then I won't have anything to wear.

'Blinded By The Whitelighter'


Phoebe: Hello, privacy.
Prue: Hello, axe murderer!

Piper: I'm being stalked by psycho killers and I hide in the shower.

'Chick Flick'
 

Phoebe: Play nice, you two.
Cole: Gotta hold my hand.
Prue: This already sucks.

"The Good, The Bad and the Cursed'


Piper: "Come on, Phoebe, trolls and fairies? You don't believe that stuff." 
Phoebe: Sure, why not? 
Piper: Well, maybe it's time we tell her about Santa. 

'Once Upon a Time'

(This one isn't really funny, but, oh, I love it so much!)

Piper: Although I have to admit some of the things Dan said were kind of true. I do think about Leo sometimes.
Prue: Jack wasn’t wrong when he said I was on the rebound.
Piper: Still it’s all so weird. One minute the four of us are laughing and having a great time…
Prue: And the next we’re acting like we hate each other. Uhh…
Piper: What?
Prue: I was just thinking about Drazi.
Piper: No way. He couldn’t have had anything to do with this. We vanquished him.
Prue: Jack’s scum.
Piper: So is Dan.
Prue: Are you scum?
Piper: No, I’m not scum.
Prue: I knew you weren’t.

'Heartbreak City' (I love Piper and Prue together!)

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Eva Marie

Eva Marie

(edited)

I love the exchange between Cole and Phoebe in Witches in Tights, but the comedy's all in the delivery, the fact that she's dangling a guy off a roof and Cole being not even remotely surprised at the situation. It ends with "That's why we wear masks!" in that note perfect way in which only Alyssa can deliver a punchline.

Edited by Eva Marie
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