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Small Talk: Ughngnggh! Ugghhnnn!


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Just to make it official, a couple weeks ago my catfish lady returned yay! The lady with a stand she does catfish and chicken livers and potatoes and macncheese and was serving a long line at 6 in the morning! (construction guys).

 

So we found out she and a special man friend (awwww!) are open till 10 at night now because the sports bar on the corner by them brings great business.

So tonight we are having fried catfish tacos, mango salsa and cold beer with limes. Nothing fancy but so good, fresh fish not frozen supermarket catfish. You get 3 fillets for $3.33  for $3. 89 you get 3 fish with potatoes and rolls or cornbread. Not bad.

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I want to go to there.

Mmmmm can you hear me? nom nom nom1

She also does fried chicken with the best crunchy batter it is heaven and good size not little fried sparrow like at Colonel Suckass.

Oh you get a breast thigh and drumstick for 3.95.

This lady rocks.

No overhead cos it's just a little shed with parking on the grass/sand and brown paper bags for packaging. That's good with me.

Edited by kikismom
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I has a heartburn and heartbreak. I will say good bye to my AMC til October. sigh. Use that $10 a month for but (<-- "BUTT" repellant I mean BUG, sheesh) . WAIT! I'll just roll around in wild leeks, sure nobody will wanna get near me. But I just saved 10 bucks on my apocalypse insurance! 

 

I don't know what I'm gonna do next Sunday. Perhaps we will all sit around and do some monkey grooming* and talk about "hey remember that time Eugene did a faceplant? yeah that was cool." or "remember when Carl was a douche?"

 

*that's where we pick lice out of each other's hair. GET USED TO IT, DON'T THINK WE WON'T IN THE APOCALYPSE.

Edited by nachomama
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I'm jealous of you live viewers of anything. Too many small children here to watch anything until after they are in bed. I never have to watch commercials, though.

 

I thought that's why Benadryl was invented.  :-) 

 

Back in the day, all it took was a parental figure saying "Go to bed", or "Go to your room".  Why doesn't that work anymore?

 

Meanwhile, I refuse to acknowledge it's Monday and I have toilet/plumbing issues to resolve, so I am rewatching last night's episode so I can have something semi-cohesive to say in the forums.  I can resist anything but temptation, and delay anything but gratification.  Like Scarlett O'Hara always says - Tomorrow Is another day.   :-D

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My daddy didn't play! If he said go to your room, you did. We used to push my mother to her breaking point, when she said "I'm gonna tell your dad when he gets home" boom! we stopped. 

 

And because of my strict upbringing I used to cluck my head at kids in stores misbehaving. Then I remembered a few fits I had. :s Usually on my mother's watch but I was kind of a nutball kid. Freaked out at school after a hearing test at the nurse's office. Went back to my room the whole class had been abducted! They was missin! Only reasonable solution, fling yourself on the ground and have a tantrum. (they were in the lunchroom...next door!) I was not very bright. Threw a fit for the babysitter, I knew the girl, my mom's bff's daughter, not a stranger. She was trying to vaccuum and I went bananas in the hallway and she was trying to bribe me with a snickers bar. No go. I have no idea what possessed me now, I woulda slapped the ever living shit out of myself. 

 

One time we ran from my mom and my sister went under the bed. She would roll to the other side and my mom would go around, then she hulked out and threw the bed and I remember my sister's eyes popping out of her head. Can you imagine what we must have done to drive her that frakkin nuts? I have no clue what we did.

 

I nominate Nashville for the grand poobah of posters! His one post quoted eleventy seven posts and solved the riddle of the trap, he's aweshum!

Edited by nachomama
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When I was growing up my friend who lived next door (with her 8 brothers and sisters) had a terrifying formidable granny from Scotland who used to hurt threats at us kids if we were annoying.

 

One threat was, "I'll split ye doon the middle." That frightened us but not nearly as much as her other one, "I'll break yer back!" That one scared the shit out of us because she certainly had the wherewithal to do it.

 

One time she chased both my sister and me all the way down the street (and my sister was 17! I was only 7) waving her "Board of Education" in one hand. Luckily we could run faster and didn't stop til we couldn't hear her anymore.  It was scary.

 

So, like am I going to have to dredge up more ridiculous stories (that don't come near to the awesomeness that are nachomama's epic tales) until TWD comes back to us?

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When I was growing up my friend who lived next door (with her 8 brothers and sisters) had a terrifying formidable granny from Scotland who used to hurt threats at us kids if we were annoying.

 

One threat was, "I'll split ye doon the middle." That frightened us but not nearly as much as her other one, "I'll break yer back!" That one scared the shit out of us because she certainly had the wherewithal to do it.

 

I love this! We had a latino neighbor lady that whenever she had a little too much to drink she would start speaking spanish really really fast and swearing up a storm. Her name was Lorraine but she'd start talking about herself in third person and it sounded like Durraine. "Durraine eees no stupit"

 

Pimiento cheese is evil and who ate Roo? and was it good?

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I am over my adult tantrum after the debacle of watching the finale with a bunch of asshats.  Well one was the worst, but the others fed off him.  I mean seriously during the Pete/Carol scene he was all "Who's Tara?"  really?  Well then the others had to explain who Tara was for like 10 minutes until his drunk ass remembered her.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

My 'rents had two favorite sayings.  One was "This is not a democracy, you do not get a vote," and "This house is like the army, we break you down and raise you up to be the people we want you to be."  It's funny because I always see people blaming little kids being assholes now on how they can't hit them.  My parents didn't have to raise a finger to get us to behave.

 

They were big believers in consequences for your actions though, and if you were grounded and it was your friend's birthday party, or PROM, or whatever you missed it.  Period.  Yep, I missed PROM because I got caught smoking by firemen during sweep (what I thought was a fire drill but was a kid who pulled the alarm) to find a fire at school.  Because you know the normal thing for kids to do when the fire alarm goes off is to go in the bathroom and light up....hahaha

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Schools today pretty much can't touch your kid, too many parents threatened legal action etc. My dad was the guy that went up to the school and gave them permission to beat the snot out of us. He would get us when we got home too. I never actually had to get smacked at school.

 

The most trouble I ever got in was following my friend Marcy into a classroom during lunch. The entire class was on detention, I was unaware of this. I didn't even know her friend who she was visiting. Teacher man comes back and 3-4 kids ducked out the back door and didn't get caught, only me, Marcy and Orlando. So he orders us to park it and we are not to get up under any circumstances. The bell rings, we don't move, our class was across the hall. Our teacher comes looking for us. She tells us come to our classroom. Teacher man returns and he's now pissed that we disobeyed so he orders us back to his room. I'm already panicking. Marcy's fine, her mom is a beloved kindergarden teacher, she calls the principal grandpa. Orlando appears to be bored, he's got his face resting on his hand. I'm fighting back tears. So he launches into a lecture about how we shouldn't have been there, then we shouldn't have disobeyed his orders. He barks at Orlando "get that smirk off your face" and there goes a tear down my face. Orlando didn't know what "smirk" meant so he didn't change anything, kept resting his chin on his hand. He is ordered up to the front of the class. Teacher man goes on and on and wasn't getting the proper response so next thing I know he picks Orlando up by the hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  and shakes him. I am now a complete blubbering, bawling mess. George is gonna kill me. We are eventually released back to our classroom and by some miracle (the miracle being teacher man nearly got fired for grabbing a kid by the hair) it was never reported to my parents. But Marcy still makes fun of me for crying. :s 

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Ha!  Last semester of my senior year I moved from a large city school to a little cow-town dump.  First day I was smoking in the bathroom when a teacher walked in (?!!?!) and everyone but me scattered.  She actually took me to see the principal who reprimanded me with a "this isn't the big city" speech.  I just asked him where I COULD smoke, and when he said "off the school grounds"  I told him they wouldn't be seeing much of me anymore.   By then I was living alone in a barn on our "farm" and only saw my parents on weekends, so I was not easily intimidated by any adults.  :-)

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Walnutqueen is scary! 

 

I'm from a little cow-town (sheep town maybe more like it) and on our break (we didn't smoke) but we headed to the girls' room to spray more hair spray in our very tall bangs (not really me so much but my friend Michelle liked to joke that it would take a monsoon to flatten her hair) so we left our books outside the classroom. We're like "no one is gonna touch our chemistry books". Lo and behold we get back and our books are gone! =O I exclaim "FUCK A DUCK!"  and 2 seconds later the teacher is at the door with our books, he says "I dunno bout that duck but here are your books" So do I get points for saying a bad swear??????? :D

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Her name was Lorraine but she'd start talking about herself in third person and it sounded like Durraine. "Durraine eees no stupit"

 

Hahaha! That's great! Had to grab a sheet of TP to wipe the tea drops from my keyboard and that's the truth.

 

 Is it just me, or does it seems that all these wonderful, wacky and colourful characters of our youth are no more? Or is it just that everyone is so terrified of saying something that might offend someone, somewhere or somehow that they're all afraid to open their mouths?

 

We had this little handy store with one of those glass cases and all the different candies in rows - 2 for a penny etc. The man who owned it had a heavy accent, a gold tooth and he dearly loved little girls. I had friends who were brother and sister. We'd use the sister for bait, and while old John was hugging her and petting her curls, her brother and I would be behind the counter swiping candy. John never caught on.

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 Is it just me, or does it seems that all these wonderful, wacky and colourful characters of our youth are no more? Or is it just that everyone is so terrified of saying something that might offend someone, somewhere or somehow that they're all afraid to open their mouths?

 

It has occurred to me that we are the wacky colorful characters.

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I've decided that I've turned into my parents.  I never had to walk to school, barefoot, in the snow, uphill both ways, but you would think that's exactly what I did when I talk about not having color TV and getting my butt tore up for daring to interrupt adults talking.  Those youngsters can't wrap their heads around how my mother used to stand on the back porch and yell "NurseGigi, time for supper!" and my butt would come running. No, they just want to know why she didn't call on the cellphone.

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I've decided that I've turned into my parents.  

It's inevitable, when you grow up, your heart just dies. breakfast club, basket case

 

My nice gramma would stand on the porch and clap and shout for the dog, "printheth" (princess with a lisp) and years after she was dead, and after my dad had died I found the 8mm home movies which have no sound. But there's Dorothy clapping and I can hear her. We had to come home when it got dark, we just took off in the morning and came home when the street lights came on. And every other parent was allowed to smack us if necessary. 

Edited by nachomama
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It's inevitable, when you grow up, your heart just dies. breakfast club, basket case

 

My nice gramma would stand on the porch and clap and shout for the dog, "printheth" (princess with a lisp) and years after she was dead, and after my dad had died I found the 8mm home movies which have no sound. But there's Dorothy clapping and I can hear her. We had to come home when it got dark, we just took off in the morning and came home when the street lights came on. And every other parent was allowed to smack us if necessary. 

My Mom used to whistle for us.  She was one of those people who could put two fingers in her mouth and whistle so loud you could hear it for miles.

 

My brother and I got the genius idea to shoot out the street lamps with our BB Guns (yes, at like 7 and 11 we had BB Guns!) so that we could stay out later.  When it started getting dark out and we didn't come home, our Mom whistled and we came home.  Didn't take her long to figure out what we did, with all the glass laying on the ground, and she CALLED THE COPS ON US.  We had to pay for every last one of them.  We had to mow yards all summer to pay for them.

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We are all hoodlums! 

 

My dad caught a kid egging our house and car. (cuz my sister was evil, this dude hated her) Anyway my dad caught the kid, instead of calling the cops my dad made him come wash the car and clean up the house. Made him wash the car like 5 times til he got it right. Kid showed up at my dad's funeral and spent 3 days loading up crap and helping us with yard sale etc. Said he caught up with my dad years later and they were buddies and he credited my dad with making him do that. Not like he saved him from a life of crime but I was still shocked that he helped us out like he did. 

 

I say "kid" but the dude would be like 5 years older than me. hahahhaha but he's forever this 15 year old kid who egged our house. 

Edited by nachomama
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 Is it just me, or does it seems that all these wonderful, wacky and colourful characters of our youth are no more? Or is it just that everyone is so terrified of saying something that might offend someone, somewhere or somehow that they're all afraid to open their mouths?

 

It's not just you. Society in general and people in particular have gotten boring as hell.

Life in the United States of the Offended offers very little latitude for anything resembling fun.

Don't believe me?

Then imagine what the general reaction would be if Mel Brooks tried releasing Blazing Saddles in today's social climate. He'd end up in jail.

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We are all hoodlums! 

 

My dad caught a kid egging our house and car. (cuz my sister was evil, this dude hated her) Anyway my dad caught the kid, instead of calling the cops my dad made him come wash the car and clean up the house. Made him wash the car like 5 times til he got it right. Kid showed up at my dad's funeral and spent 3 days loading up crap and helping us with yard sale etc. Said he caught up with my dad years later and they were buddies and he credited my dad with making him do that. Not like he saved him from a life of crime but I was still shocked that he helped us out like he did. 

 

I say "kid" but the dude would be like 5 years older than me. hahahhaha but he's forever this 15 year old kid who egged our house. 

A kid egged our house one winter and broke our front window.  My Mom did a mild version of Carol with the neighborhood kids until they gave the kid up.  She then proceeded to buy 5 dozen eggs and send us to his house the next night.

 

My Mom would have rocked the ZA.

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My mom might have rocked the ZA if she lived through the first 5 minutes. She was nuts! Couldn't drive for shit. Her entire life never could get the hang of a clutch and my father insisted on driving standard transmission. Her first husband taught her on a double clutch (holy crap!) but his only instruction was "head for the middle, they'll get out of your way". I have endless stories of my mother's bad driving. We couldn't shop at Sears because she once drove through it. (She thought she was in reverse and gunned it, tapped the front of the building, ooops) We wanted to go to Taco Bell once and she hit a fire hydrant. Our 30 mile drive home from town started with a huge climb up this bluff, one of those 7-8% grade things that has runaway lanes for big trucks that lose control of their brakes. She always hit the bottom of the climb behind these dump trucks that went only about 35 miles an hour and she refused to shift out of 5th gear. So we chugged up the hill only to have the car overheat and we wait an hour to cool down. We snuck off for a picnic after church and went to get my older sister who we were forbidden to see, only to lock the keys in the trunk and we had to hike 5 miles to find a friend of my sister's who knew how to break into a car. She once wanted to see the nekkid pictures of Madonna in the magazine so took us all to go buy it, let us look then gave it to a homeless guy so she wouldn't be seen with the evidence. 

 

By all accounts my mom was pretty cool. Too bad I was an asshole teenager and spent the last 5 years being a shit to her. 

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Then imagine what the general reaction would be if Mel Brooks tried releasing Blazing Saddles in today's social climate

 

Or Airplane? Two of the funniest movies of all time would now have an army of The Butthurt & Offended picketing theaters.

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I need to watch a bunch of stuff as an adult. I don't even remember half of blazing saddles. Not sure I've even seen the whole thing. I only remember Mrs. Cleaver talking "jive" from Airplane.

 

Here's how dumb I was as a kid. someone told me this joke. "whats he dirtiest thing ever said on television?" June Cleaver to Ward: Don't you think you were a little hard on the beaver last night?

 

So I knew it was supposed to be dirty but I didn't know how. So I thought it meant he was schtupping his son cuz his name was Beaver. Oh it's funny to think there was a time I was naive and didn't know a beaver from, well, a beaver. :D

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Quote

So I thought it meant he was schtupping his son

 

If you knew about incestuous schtupping, you weren't nearly as naive as I was!

 

Too bad I was an asshole teenager and spent the last 5 years being a shit to her.

 

You were a teenager. Being a shit is part of the job description.

Edited by AngelaHunter
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No street lights, I was just told not pester bears. Winter was fun. We could sled next to our house or go out of sight and push snow off a small cliff until there was enough to jump into. And the bears were asleep. Bears are assholes.

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It's not just you. Society in general and people in particular have gotten boring as hell.

Life in the United States of the Offended offers very little latitude for anything resembling fun.

Don't believe me?

Then imagine what the general reaction would be if Mel Brooks tried releasing Blazing Saddles in today's social climate. He'd end up in jail.

OMG Mel Brooks is a genius. I now feel the need to pull out History of the World Part I and watch it.

Edited by kj4ever
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It's not just you. Society in general and people in particular have gotten boring as hell.

Life in the United States of the Offended offers very little latitude for anything resembling fun.

Don't believe me?

Then imagine what the general reaction would be if Mel Brooks tried releasing Blazing Saddles in today's social climate. He'd end up in jail.

 I like to watch Blazing Saddles when it comes on AMC because the scene where Sheriff Bart comes to town doesn't make a damn bit of sense with all the bleeping-you never get the payoff of the joke with the bell. I laugh and wonder why they are even trying. Might as well show a censored Glengarry Glennross while you're at it.

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 I like to watch Blazing Saddles when it comes on AMC because the scene where Sheriff Bart comes to town doesn't make a damn bit of sense with all the bleeping-you never get the payoff of the joke with the bell. I laugh and wonder why they are even trying. Might as well show a censored Glengarry Glennross while you're at it.

 

Wish to god they'd try running something like Reservoir Dogs on Lifetime. 

It'd be like watching a silent movie.

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Snakes on a plane? I've seen it edited for cable..."I'm tired of these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane"

 

I used to love Reservoir Dogs just for the argument at the beginning over tipping. And I was super proud of myself that I knew who Verbal Kint was from the beginning of Usual Suspects because I recognized his voice and I caught the "I see dead people" stuff from the get go. 

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Impossible to hear "Stuck in the Middle With You" without thinking of that scene. Still. After all this time.

 

Here's a youtube video with some of the "best" censorship. (The original versions are also included, be careful if at work!) Die Hard has been a favorite around here-"Yippe-Ki-Yay, Mr. Falcon!"

Edited by morgankobi
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MAD TV did a edited for TV version of The Sopranos once. Too funny.

In connection to MAD TV, I did, and still do, laugh way too hard at the scene in Pulp Fiction when the car hits a bump and poor Phil LaMar pays for it.

 

Censorship to MAD TV

MAD TV to Pulp Fiction with Phil LaMar

Phil LaMar to Headly Lamarr in Blazing Saddles played by Harvey Korman

Harvey Korman was in Dracula: Dead and Loving It with Steven Weber

Who was is My One and Only with Kevin Bacon!

Edited by morgankobi
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Snakes on a plane? I've seen it edited for cable..."I'm tired of these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane"

 

I used to love Reservoir Dogs just for the argument at the beginning over tipping. And I was super proud of myself that I knew who Verbal Kint was from the beginning of Usual Suspects because I recognized his voice and I caught the "I see dead people" stuff from the get go. 

Ugh we were watching The Six Sense in the movie theater and about 15 minutes in my Mom leaned over and said "I bet he's dead."

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I didn't say it out loud to ruin it for anyone. My mom couldn't hsve spoiled anyone for anything. I don't think she ever got a plot to anything. We used to sit down to watch a movie she would pass out after 15 minutes. Miss half the movie then if we moved on to something else she was all "how did Bruce Willis get out of the building and into a submarine? And where is the dog?" She never finished anything.

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(edited)
QuoteQuote

make a damn bit of sense with all the bleeping-

 

What about stand up comics whose every punchline is bleeped? Why the FUCK do they bother airing those shows when you can't get a single joke.

 

It reminds me of this hilarious sketch of what The Sopranos might look like on PAX TV.

 

"I hate that fitch!"

 

[yt]

[/yt]

 

morgankobi, I just saw your post after I added this video. Great minds and all that!

Edited by AngelaHunter
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I have a little game I play with myself where I try not to ever call people the same thing twice. Both good and bad. Cuz if it's your babe, hunny bunny, Sweety, muffin, sugar plum etc etc it gets boring. Also asshole, moron, loopy fucking cunt...these things need shaking up sometimes. This was fun with my old boss. Called him chief, sarge, mon capital, my liege etc. at a certain point you start to run out of things. I called him schmuckie the whale once and never made him laugh harder. He was an exceptionally hard laugh to get. I think only twice in 10 years. He had such a dry wit. But schmuckie the whale just hit him so absurdly it's my greatest achievent.

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