Sleepy Hollow Quotes: "Farewell, Yolanda"

[Miss Dee]

I need to find the heartfelt quotes to put in here from the last two episodes. There were a few.

And I've decided I liked the B plot of this story based on the above dialogue alone.

[Sparkling Beth]

The line about Scrabble was funny, but couldn't be true unless Crane had a tile from another game up his sleeve.  There are only two y tiles in Scrabble, not enough to spell "syzygy."

[CalamityBoPeep]

The line about Scrabble was funny, but couldn't be true unless Crane had a tile from another game up his sleeve.  There are only two y tiles in Scrabble, not enough to spell "syzygy."

 

He could have used a blank tile, though... ;-)

[Sparkling Beth]

He could have used a blank tile, though... ;-)

Slapping my forehead in self-disgust.  You're absolutely right!  I forgot about the blank tiles.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Abbie: I didn't eat or sleep for a year. Time was a flat circle.

 

Abbie: Are you sitting down?

Crane: Oh, no. I am standing the length of two men, lieutenant, for I am bringing the desert climate to our mid-Atlantic abode. It is nonsensical, it is quite unnatural, and yet because I want it, it is so. The beauty of America.

 

Sophie: So you raised the monster with the help of a witch coven and Benjamin Franklin to defeat the headless horseman.

Abbie: Correct.

Sophie: Because the kindred has the horseman of death's head and is therefore just as powerful.

Crane: Precisely.

Sophie: And you thought this was a good idea because...

 

Crane: When did you learn to read Franklin?

Abbie: You were abroad for a year and I got bored.

 

Abbie: Walking and texting? You have officially assimilated.

 

Crane: One of Franklin's more obnoxious hobbies was rewriting lyrics of beloved songs to show how they hindered the melody.

 

Abbie: Is this new Tex Mex decor really our new normal?

Crane: Yes, we're a succulent family now!

[cynic]

It is nonsensical, it is quite unnatural, and yet because I want it, it is so. The beauty of America.

 

I'm going to start using this all the time.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

The Hidden One: You want to be my equal. Then as I suffer, so shall you.

 

Sophie: Are [the demons] all this ugly?

Crane: Actually usually they're worse. This one's not too bad.

 

Jenny: We're the best.

 

Mr. Mills: I'd ask how you found me, but you are a federal agent.

 

Abbie: Jenny wasn't going to tell me that she'd seen you, but with her and I it's hard to hide things for long.

[only including this quote because of the egregious incorrect grammar]

 

Jack: I can't tell you how much this means to us.

Atticus: Well I don't really care.

 

Abbie: Bologna on whole wheat? That is the Charlie Brown of sandwiches.

Crane: The bald boy with awful luck? Good grief.

 

Crane: Just as you were by my side when I returned to Sleepy Hollow, so I shall be by yours.

 

Abbie: I want hot wings.

Crane: No poultry is safe in Sleepy Hollow this dark night.

Edited February 27, 2016 by ElectricBoogaloo

[bethy]

Crane: E.T., which apparently concerns a diminutive being stranded far from home. [ pause] Perhaps a different suggestion.

Edited February 27, 2016 by bethy

[Miss Dee]

Do you know what's cute about that? His acknowledgement that "diminutive" is descriptive of Abbie's size. He really does tower over her.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

The Hidden One: Rise, my servant. I cannot understand a word you speak.

 

Crane: These eggs are named after a traitor to this nation. These delicious baked goods are for a member of the Hapsburg monarchy which is an affront to anyone who ever fought the Hessian.

 

Joe: This is insane. Immigration can't reject you as a citizen. You helped create the country.

Crane; Yes, the irony is not lost.

 

Crane: That was Franklin's party trick. And not always on his nose.

 

Jenny: So what do we do? Spy on [Abbie]?

Crane: Oh, no. We must remain cognizant of her needs whilst vigilant to any subterfuge, intended or otherwise.

Jenny: Yeah, I'm not sure if Washington explained it but that is called spying.

 

Crane: These symbols represent composition, reduction, steam, and fire.

Abbie: Well, it is a stove.

Crane: IS IT?

 

Abbie: I went in first last time.

 

Abbie: Lots of details but no devil.

 

Abbie: You're insane.

Leeds: No, I'm the devil.

 

Leeds: Well, this has been a treat. Glad we got the chance to meet again, Crane. Now which would you prefer? Bleeding out quickly from a severed artery or expiring from a paralytic toxin?

 

Crane: Now who's a subpar alchemist?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Pandora: Soon you will be restored to your full glory. And then you can restore my box.

The Hidden One: Do not mar this moment with your selfish needs.

 

Crane: Careful with this one! It caused the Great Fire of Chicago. And Krakatoa.

 

Crane: I knew Colonel Rochester. Peevish sort. I was surprised they'd name a city after him. He hardly deserves that honor.

Abbie: You haven't seen Rochester.

 

Jenny: Ten thousand dollar minimum reserve [for the auction]. Though I guess that's not a problem for you anymore - unless you spent it all buying another trailer for someone.

 

Abbie: This seems familiar.

Daniel: We're in the woods. Everything looks familiar.

Abbie: Familiar like the same. Like we have walked in a circle, haven't we?

Daniel: We may have gone in a circle-like direction. You think you can do better, Davy Crockett?

 

Lab guy: Never underestimate the power of a natural bond.

 

Crane: The answer to this might be self evident, but how was your survival exercise?

[DkNNy79]

Crane: I knew Colonel Rochester. Peevish sort. I was surprised they'd name a city after him. He hardly deserves that honor.
Abbie: You haven't seen Rochester.

I grew up in Rochester and wanted to take offense, but the city has really deteriorated.

[Hannalee]

 

Crane: I knew Colonel Rochester. Peevish sort. I was surprised they'd name a city after him. He hardly deserves that honor.

And there was I thinking it was called after the English city of the same name.

 

[Julia]

And there was I thinking it was called after the English city of the same name.

The southernmost bridge in NYC is called the Outerbridge Crossing. It was named after a guy named Outerbridge who worked for the Port Authority. It could happen.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Crane: I did ask for a bear claw and an almond beignet. I was quite specific.

Abbie: You don't know what's in the bag. You know what's in the bag! You promised me that you would not use that thing to spy on me, Crane!

Crane: Lieutenant, I have yet to master how this artifact works. Now in attempting to do so, I may have inadvertently watched you purchase me a summertime squash muffin.

Abbie: Is that all that you saw?

Crane: Yes. Lieutenant, you have my most solemn vow. This is a crime against pastries, nothing more.

Abbie: Do not get weird on me, Crane. Even a tiny lie of the donut variety can erode the trust between two people. Multigrain croissant. Truce?

Crane: More like a tactical interdiction.

 

Sophie: I pulled this before ERT could.

Abbie: You are getting good at this.

Sophie: Yeah, I'm really digging obstructing evidence.

 

Abbie: We have ourselves an entity. Kind of an all encompassing word for "we do not know what the hell we're dealing with yet."

 

Pandora: Please lower that ineffectual weapon, witness. I am not in the mood.

 

THO: You believe you'll find solutions in these texts.

Crane: These tomes have not let me down yet. I take it you're not a reader?

THO: Omnipotent.

Crane: Then you deny yourself the glorious gift of discovery.
 

Crane: Duke Ellington, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Miles Davis, the artist formerly known as Prince, the political passion of Bob Dylan and Nina Simone, the poetry of Emily Dickinson, Shakespeare's sonnets, odes by Yeats, the works of Austen, Dostoyevsky, Morrison, Ta-Nehisi Coates, Leonardo da Vinci, Van Gogh, Frida Kahlo, Picasso, the fearless lens of Diane Arbus, and the sublime squiggle of Charles M. Schulz. What you call pablum is in fact inspiration and it is forged in the enduring soul of humanity. You may know everything, but you understand nothing.

THO: Do not lecture me on art.

 

Crane: What is a god without worshippers?

THO: And what is a man without belief in higher power?

Crane: Both are lost.

 

THO: You hunger at a time like this?
Crane: I'm eating my feelings.

 

Pandora: I may be devious at a scale that rivals the gods, but I assure you at this moment, I have no secret motive.

Jenny: Is that supposed to be self-deprecating?

 

THO: Omnipotence isn't always equal to-

Crane: Wisdom.

 

Abbie: Donut Man is open 24 hours. I think you've earned it.

Crane: You are a very good person.

 

Joe: You said the words. All three of them.

Jenny: Did I? I don't really recall.

Joe: I think you also offered me a key.

Jenny: There's no easy way to say this, but I offered that key to the wendago.

Edited March 19, 2016 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Crane: Here endeth the reign of the house of burger! Long live the new fast food king, a poultry farming Kentuckian colonel!

 

Crane: A musical about Alexander Hamilton? Unbelievable. The man had a voice like a stuck goat. Seriously, that's why he wrote so many pamphlets. Nobody could bear to listen to him speak.

 

Crane: "O say can you see by the dawn's early light?" Anapests. I cannot abide anapests.

 

Pandora: I will no longer be providing for you. No longer will I feed your vanity, your hunger, and your pride.

 

Pandora: If there is one thing that I learned from those witnesses, it is that the power of a true bond can conquer any might. They are stronger because they have each other. They are stronger because they love each other.

 

Danny: Crane - he's not normal, is he?

Edited March 26, 2016 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Abbie: You ever think of how many times you and I have technically died? You were buried underground for centuries, choked out by a sin eater, buried again by a tree.

Ichabod: Trapped in purgatory, your jaunt to 1781, abandoned in ancient catacombs.

 

Abbie: You never waver in your faith, in what we do, in me, and you know how rare that is, don't you?

Ichabod: When it concerns you and me, lieutenant, there is no greater certainty.

 

Ichabod: Victory often comes at a terrible loss.

 

Abbie: Zombies again!

 

THO: It almost impresses me, the insatiable mortal desire to fight what you cannot possibly conquer.

Jenny: I don't know what I hate about your most - the way you talk or the way you treat women.

 

Papa Mills: Your boyfriend is a wendigo!

 

Betsy: Ichabod, you're a sight for sore eyes, although you're different. Your hair is-

Ichabod: Shorter.

Betsy: Cleaner.

 

Ichabod: Betsy, how are you still alive?

Betsy: Bad luck.

[netlyon2]

^^^ LOL at that last one! She just said what most of us were thinking.

[TaurusRose]

I grew up in Rochester and wanted to take offense, but the city has really deteriorated.

I did as well and though I haven't been there in a while, there are still some lovely things about Rochester, NY, so I did take offense (especially coming from these writing hacks). Check out rochesterny on instagram.

 

And there was I thinking it was called after the English city of the same name.

Nope. It was actually christened Rochesterville after Colonel Nathaniel Rochester. They dropped the "ville" sometime after 1830, I believe.

Edited April 4, 2016 by taurusrose

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Crane: We cannot let on that we are from the future.

Abbie: Or we risk damaging the time stream. I get it. I saw Star Wars.

Crane: Trek, not Wars, but yes. As Captain James Tiberius Kirk learned the hard way in the most memorable episode "City on the Edge of Forever."

 

THO: Impossible!

Crane: No, just highly improbable, which, as luck would have it, is our stock in trade.

 

Pandora: I'm through being ordered around.

 

August: Ice cream's getting warm. Pie's getting cold. Not a good combo.

 

Crane: What is there for me in a world without you?

 

Crane: Well, the final season of American Idol has begun. It's not a return to form.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Crane: Abbie became my partner. We joined together to fight evil - demons, the horsemen of the apocalypse, the ongoing success of shows about real housewives. You know, evil.

Crane: The human capacity for self-denial never ceases to amaze.

Diana: You sure know a lot about decapitation.

Guy in colonial costume: Look at this dude. What you got there? Frock coat with standing collar, leather buttons, Revere boots. Little out of style, don't you think?
Crane: I beg your pardon.
Guy: That look is so 2000. Everything's about Hamilton these days.
Crane: There were other people involved in the American Revolution, you know!
[Diana gives him a look]
Crane: Uh, not a fan of musicals.

Diana: Crane's on his way to you. And he's singing.

Crane: Allow me to introduce Miss Jenny Mills - soldier, scholar, gentlewoman, and all around badass.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jenny: A mundane object powered up with [the witches'] magic. It can keep a spell alive for a long time.
Diana: So we disable it, we disable them?
Crane: It could weaken them. Or it could whip them into a killing frenzy.
Diana: Fifty fifty. Not bad odds.
 

Edited January 15, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Crane: I was assured a walk in closet.
Man: Well, you could walk in there if you want.
Jenny: Didn't the ad also specify this place had great light?
Man: Sunlight gives you cancer.
Crane: And what of these so-called "stunning views"?
Man: There's a neighbor that showers with the shades up.
Jake: It's a little rundown, sure, but this is an edge neighborhood. In two years, this whole block will be cupcake joints and record stores. That's right up your OG hipster vibe alley, Mr. Crane.
Jenny: How have I not seen that before? The facial hair and the boots and a proclivity towards obscure donut toppings.
Crane: If valuing progressive politics, countercultural initiatives, and maple glazed bacon mark me as a hirsute hepcat then so be it.

Alex: Okay, I have practical questions [about Headless]. No head right? So how does he breathe? How does he communicate?

Jenny: Do you know anything about glyphs and wards?
Jake: Only that wards can be glyphs but glyphs aren't necessarily wards.

Crane: I, sir, could not in good conscience stand idly by while a nation was oppressed by tyranny.

Banneker: In a vote between the lesser of two evils, I choose not to vote at all.

Crane: Revolution can only begin on the page. The final act must be played on the streets.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jake: Maybe [Crane] went to the mall and got lost - again.

Henry: I am as real as the guilt in your head.

Henry: Am I not the baby you abandoned? Am I not the child you left to be persecuted? Am I not the man you snuffed out like a simpering dog?

Jake: We gotta help [Jenny].
Alex: How? See if they'll trade her for some free archiving work?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Crane; The third century Celts were the most fearsome and bloodthirsty warriors in all of Brittania. Savage to their barbarian hearts, they laid waste to all who challenged them, including one Danish prince foolish enough to cross Hadrian's Wall. He was defeated, of course, and decapitated. The Celtic chieftans allowed their men to lustily kick his head around for enjoyment, and from these gruesome origins grew the sporting endeavour you modern day warriors refer to as soccer.
Molly: Cool!
Girl #1: What did they do with the head after?
Girl #2: Did they empty out the brains before they played?
Girl #3: And what about the eyes? Did they pop out when they kicked it?
Crane: Most likely.

Crane: Being a witness does not grant one special powers or skills. A witness is no different from any other person.
Diana: Except that they're a monster magnet.

Crane: Master Wells, you say you saw his man procuring an item from the Smithsonian.
Jake: "Procuring" is the nicest way of saying he incinerated a security guard while demonically trashing a storage room.

Crane: We will not stand idly by while innocent men suffer for your sins.

Diana: Listen, if I don't make it, tell Molly if she keeps hanging out with that snotty girl Erica, she'll end up with a lower back tattoo and a life full of regret.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Crane: And what else is new with the world? A Hogwarts theme park has opened. I have ordered a metric ton of Ravenclaw attire from the internet.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Crane: I marvel at these wondrous items - those that speak, robots that transform, putty that is silly. In my day, all we had to entertain ourselves was a wooden hoop and a stick. And woe the day the stick broke.

Crane: If I may inquire, who are Scooby and Shaggy?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Dreyfuss: Do you know what I've come to learn over the years, Mr. Crane? People, by and large, people are herd animals. When it comes right down to it, most people, they really don't want to bear the burden of governing themselves. Deep down, most people are violently opposed to the effort it takes to think for themselves. Do you know what all the willingly helpless bleeding sheep really want more than anything else? A shepherd.
Crane: You mean tyrant.
Dreyfuss: Actually, I prefer emperor. Czar perhaps. Monarch maybe. Whatever rolls off the tongue.

Molly: I posted [a picture].
Crane: Jolly good.
Molly: Though it's kind of pointless since you don't have any followers.
Crane: Well, there is more to life than amassing followers, Miss Molly. Social media is rife with cat videos. But just imagine what could be achieved, what grand heights could be scaled were a true leader like Jefferson or Lincoln alive today. What if they had access to Facebook and Picagram and snapchat.

Jake: I'm not saying that guy had zika, but I know a thing or two about diseases and that guy looked like he had a scary ass case of zika.

Crane: Which room might I find your paramour?
Alex: Tindr date.
Crane: [noises]

Jake: I'll take salmonella over a supernatural disease any day.
Alex: Just because Crane's here doesn't mean it's supernatural. There are dozens of biological explanations for these sort of symptoms.
Jake: Trust me - it's monster flu.
[body goes up in flames]
Alex: I really hate it when you're right.

Crane: Say, "Prunes!"

Edited February 26, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Alex: Is there a competition for getting humiliated by 12 year old girls? Because if so, you're kicking butt.

Molly: Pizza?
Crane: Something a little more delectable than Neapolitan flatbread.

Molly: What are you doing?
Crane: Trying to find an escape route. One must never sit around and wait for help. Rescue yourself. If there's one lesson from today, let it be that one. Another lesson is book cabinets are lighter without books.

Crane: Molly, have you heard of the legend of Pygmalion?
Molly: Uh, yeah. Wasn't that an animated movie about farm animals?

Crane: Was Claudia Russell a Lilliputian?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Missy: She's even funnier than you said she was.
Alex: You said I was funny?
Jake: Uh huh. You are. In a very specific way.

Jenny: Last I heard, you had a fleet of G4s to rent and you were raking it in.
Donny: Nah, I got out of jets. The upkeep is murder. And this place has been killing it! Chinese herbs are super in - royal jelly, kombucha, ginseng tea. People want to live forever, dude!

Alex: Not too close, Romeo. Just because you score with girls at bars doesn't mean that puppy dog charm of yours is going to serve you here.
Jake: Puppy dog charm?
Alex: That's what I said.
Jake: It wasn't much of one, but I believe you just complimented me.
Alex: No, I described you using canines as a comparison.
Jake: The word that jumped out was "charming."

Jenny: Breaking into a government building after hours? She can stay.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Diana: Not historically accurate enough for you?
Crane: The choreography is so stiff and stolid, it's practically a minuet. These are enlisted men. It should be a rowdy spree.

Parent: SHHHHHH!
Crane: This is a theater, not a morgue!

Molly: So did you guys like it?
Crane: You, Miss Molly, are a natural born actor. But your dancing, though enthusiastic, lacked a little precision.

Diana: You ever get that feeling like someone just walked over your grave?
Crane: In my case, that might have actually happened - twice.

Diana: We've died and gone to Brooklyn.

Diana: So this is a restaurant?
Bryce: It's a communal table.

Jenny: Okay, what's our next move?
[Alex and Jake look at her blankly]
Jenny: I'm not always going to be around to call the shots. What would you do in this situation without me?
Alex: Jenny, we wouldn't be in this situation without you.

Malcolm: Excuse me. So sorry to interrupt, but I have to ask. The World Series - do the Cubs ever get there again or was that just a one off?

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Dreyfuss: [Diana is] expendable. [Molly], on the other hand, I could really use someone like you. Actually, it sounds like I already have. Or I will one day come to use you. Boy, time travel sure complicates a verb tense, doesn't it?
Lara: I'll make it simple. Screw you.
Dreyfuss: I knew there was a reason I liked you.

Jobe: Nothing stays hidden forever, not from me.
Dreyfuss: I love it when you get all ominous like that. Gives me the best kind of chills.

Henry: I had my share of demons, both literally and figuratively.
Diana: This is Crane's son? He's kind of old.
Jenny: Tell that to your grown daughter over there.

Henry: Ichabod has become the horseman of war, hasn't he? Like father, like son. Or is it the other way around?

Jenny: Crane kept all of Katrina's possessions back at their old place in Sleepy Hollow.
Diana: How did I know we were going to get dragged back there one way or another?

Lara: You're going to believe the man who was a jar of goo five minutes ago?

Henry: Perhaps I could be of more assistance?
Jenny: I think we've got it under control.
Henry: It's just that I would like to do more for my father.
Jenny: Your track record as the good son is a bit spotty.

Diana: What does a spell book look like?
Lara: A book with spells in it.
Diana: Very helpful.

Diana: Let me guess. [The spell]'s insanely difficult and requires some impossible to find ingredient like unicorn tears or dragon spleen.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Jake: It says here that the Four Horsemen may be more powerful together than separately.
Alex: Like the Beatles. Their solo work never had that magic.
Jake: Are we good?
Alex: I brought you a cruller yesterday. If you don't understand what a fish kick emoticon means-

Jenny: It's been a while since I hacked a satellite - for free anyway.

Alex: Camp David is only ten miles from here. Do we call Secret Service and warn the President?
Jake: And tell them what? It's the end of times and #revelationsistrue?
Diana: He's right. If I call and say Malcolm Dreyfuss has opened the Book of Revelations, they're going to put me in the nuthouse.

Crane: I have found my way back from purgatory, the catacombs, and New Jersey. We will return.

Cable guy: You'll be able to play video games, watch your porn, and videochat your grandma without any lag.
Crane: We're a bit preoccupied now so can we reschedule?
Cable guy: Are you available between the hours of 8am to 9pm three weeks from today?
Crane: If the world hasn't ended in fiery apocalypse, then yes.

Jake: I've fought magical creatures, demons, and monster but I've never defaced government property.

Jake: Do we have a plan B? Besides dying?