S18.E09: Auditions 8

[Mr. Sparkle]

Eighth round of auditions airs Tuesday, August 1st, 8:00 PM EDT. 

[Tango64]

The acrobats’  little girl was so blasé. “Yeah, I see them do this 10 times a day at home. Don’t all parents do this?”

So the producer told Simon that the animators would make the singing dog appear live on stage “when the show airs” or something to that effect. There was nothing live on stage except maybe a stand-in dog and drum that did nothing. That means they were just reacting to the lame rendition of a popular song and pretending to be amazed by the “live” animation. That’s a new low for AGT. 

[ams1001]

• Husband & Wife pole act: The act didn't really hold my attention but their little girl was cute. I found myself noticing her earring and wondering if it was real or a little temporary tattoo (it seemed to be completely flat against her earlobe).
• Pizza Hut employee/singer: no one cares about your ex.
• Border Collie dunk record: Audience member called him a "tiny doggie"...my last dog was five pounds and less than eight inches tall. That was a tiny doggie. Also, what's with all the world record attempts? 
• Drum line: I actually give the guy a point for having "no clue" what they'd do with the money. 
• Some dumb stuff:  was dumb.
• Guy from Brazil: Translator says he's excited to sing for them, and then Heidi asks what he's going to do for them. Several seconds of silence. Heidi and Sofia comment that he's nervous. Commercial. He'll probably be good after all that but I don't even care anymore. (For whatever amount I cared to begin with...) Come back from commercial and hear repeat of Heidi and Sofia's comments. Finally sings. Channels Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey. Audience cheers. Sofia builds "suspense" before hitting the GB. I was shocked when she hit it. This is my shocked face. 🙄
• A dog named Bun: I thought he was a guinea pig. "What is the dream?" "Bacon." With a cat guitarist and horse drummer. Sure, why not. Lol, his mic stand is a bone.
• Zion Clark: I bet it's a lot easier to climb a rope without the weight of legs...He has Caudal Regression Syndrome: he's the first on the list of people at the bottom of the article. 
• Rock band with mom Joan in the audience: Not really my cup of tea. Especially once he started screaming. I didn't even realize until the very end what the song was (literally the only Billie Eilish song I can name or recognize).
• The Twinjas (did I hear that right?): I was getting ice cream so I missed most of it but they were cute.
• DJ something or other: No.
• Israeli trio: "Are you famous in Israel?" "I want to say yes because you don't know.." 😄 What possesses someone to say to their brother, "let's do a naked juggling act"? 
• Country singer with no shoes: She has a nice voice. Still not a country fan. (Actually, I'm with Howie. Honestly, I didn't even catch most of the lyrics so I can't tell you if it moved me or not.) Why does she have no shoes? 
• Sunny Chatum from Paris, TX: That was dumb. No, Howie, this was not funny. I'm with Heidi. Annoying. She announces at the end that she's really a comedian and suddenly it was hilarious? No. (ETA: Krista Komondor)

Edited August 2, 2023 by ams1001

[Mr. Sparkle]

Well, a bit better than the last one, but still boring. I don't know why we need 9 weeks of auditions, any momentum from the first week is gone. I looked up the ratings and they are way down, but the show is still probably making money, so we continue. 

• Pole act: buff naked people twisting around take 723. The last trick was impressive.
• Pizza Hut singer: likeable, good-looking kid with a decent voice. She'll be in the semi-finals.
• Dog dunk record: I wasn't really paying attention. 
• Drum line: it was ok. I've seen better. 
• Brazilian singer: a Golden Buzzer given to a talented act without a sob story? Shocking! Of course the guy is an established act already. 
• A dog named Bun: dumb. I'm glad I was able to fast-forward. 
• Zion Clark: I wish him the best. 
• Rock band: not bad. I am a sucker for a pop cover done in a different style. 
• The Twinjas: fun to watch.
• DJ Mixed Media: ok.
• Naked guys from Israel: we've seen this before, but they were pretty good at it. 
• Country singer: I agreed with Howie. It was passable but not great.  
• Last act fake-out: I'm slow on the uptake, but even I figured out it was a bit after a while. Kind of funny, but where's it going next?  

[Tango64]

The indoor drumline was pretty good but they used a cheat. The judges and audience weren't excited and dancing because they appreciated the drum work. They were excited by the familiar and popular music behind them. 

I could walk around that stage looking at my phone for four minutes and if "Turn down for what!" blared over and over, I'd have the audience on their feet too.

[Lonesome Rhodes]

Karate kids.  Where's Miyagi when you need him?  

Dev was too horny and into it.

Bun was a nothing burger.

GB was whatevs.

Orange you glad the Israelis had a plate-onic relationship?

What, exactly, is rope artist gonna do for an encore?  Good on him for his resilience.  Impressive as it gets.  By all means, send him to Luxor...and off my tv. 

Same goes for the pole people with the cute kid.  So played out.

Two shows in a row we get a puffed-up female Country artist who underwhelms.  I really don't get it.  Surely, there are any number of folks scratching out an existence in Nashville who can actually bring it.

Doggie did a nice version of 18.  Alice, of course, retired that trophy decades ago and we liked it.  

OK.  I love, love, love when a good Rock act appears.  They typically bring genuine energy to everything and I can recognize the song.  I like when SYCO uses Kiss and Queen typically as music beds for post-performance reactions.  I did not like these fellas.  They are a tight group, for sure.  But, of all the songs they could have brought, they chose this one?  Very bland.  The one part I liked a lot was the extended instrumental portion.  That was the energy I look for.

Which brings me to genuine anger as to two things:  First, Simon instantly expressing excitement and anticipation that a Rock band was taking the stage.  Then, he repeated the name of each performer as they were introduced like he and they were all on some type of professional session crammed with veteran and wise hands.  Rarely, have I seen Simon give that kind/type of respect in the interview for any act.  They were NOBODIES.  

Second...the 180-degree turn Simon made on that last mess.  To be fair, that was a superior Gong Show act.  For what it was, very well done.  However, it was the embodiment of annoying.  Maybe the best (as in worst) in AGT histoire, and that is saying something.   Then comes the reveal.

In what universe does Cowell reverse himself into a near-rapture for being tricked in that manner?  In this plane of existence, he would have lost his s*** for having been played and made to sit through that torture.  Some producer(s) would pay dearly for this.  Instead, it were as if his son had auditioned.

AGT can pull however many "gotcha" stunts as it wishes.  What it can't do is fundamentally reverse a bedrock narrative decades (See Idol) in the making.  If nothing is real, the show falls.  I forgive much of the shenanigans on AGT.  This, however, was a betrayal.

  

 

[ams1001]

12 hours ago, Superclam said:

• Last act fake-out: I'm slow on the uptake, but even I figured out it was a bit after a while. Kind of funny, but where's it going next?  

She's got several characters she does, so I'm guessing we'll see a different one next time. (I just looked at her website, but didn't click on anything, so I don't know if the others are any better.)

[Gabs66]

I knew Sunny Chatum was a performance artist almost from the very start and unlike most here, I thought it was brilliant. as Howie mentioned, it reminded me of the first time I saw Andy Kaufman do his Mighty Mouse routine. 
I can't wait to see what's next.

[gaPeach]

Egad, we must hate this show.  Only 7 responses, almost a week after the episode aired!  

On 8/2/2023 at 2:40 PM, Lonesome Rhodes said:

Which brings me to genuine anger as to two things:  First, Simon instantly expressing excitement and anticipation that a Rock band was taking the stage.  Then, he repeated the name of each performer as they were introduced like he and they were all on some type of professional session crammed with veteran and wise hands.  Rarely, have I seen Simon give that kind/type of respect in the interview for any act.  They were NOBODIES.  

Second...the 180-degree turn Simon made on that last mess.  To be fair, that was a superior Gong Show act.  For what it was, very well done.  However, it was the embodiment of annoying.  Maybe the best (as in worst) in AGT histoire, and that is saying something.   Then comes the reveal.

In what universe does Cowell reverse himself into a near-rapture for being tricked in that manner?  In this plane of existence, he would have lost his s*** for having been played and made to sit through that torture.

I miss the old Simon that rarely smiled, did not encourage talentless acts, and called people on their BS, but what we have is a AI clone of the real Simon, who is chilling in a large tube of water being kept alive, only to be awaken when they celebrate Episode 2000.

This show is really sucking.