Toaster Strudel

Barbra: she was insufferable and needlessly rude to Maryum. Maryum took responsibility and apologized profusely for a non-event, and Barbra, with her demented wingman and enforcer Tami, was trying to engage Maryum in a power play and shouting match, which Maryum skillfully avoided. They were acting like it had happened 5 minutes ago and humiliating Maryum was the goal of the program. All in all, I think Barbra and Maryum clashed because were competing for the same social position in the group though Barbra wanted to be "pod boss" though she clearly wasn't. Zac: He delivered. He did everything he was supposed to do in a honorable way. I appreciated his direct and truthful approach, especially not wasting his breath on Robert. Isaiah: Nice kid but as dumb as a bag of hair. His scared straight story arc didn't do it for me. Jeff: Jeff is a pussy. A really big pussy. He talks like a pussy. He walks like a pussy. He sits like a pussy. He moves his hands like a pussy. He runs away from Rick like a pussy. Tami: A complete loon. Her statement that she retired because of the show and she didn't want to put people in jail may not be true, I thought she hasn't been an actual police officer in several years. She seems to be constantly on the lookout for people that wrong her so that she can beat them up and show them she "doesn't take crap." Maryum: She was the most intelligent and diplomatic of the bunch. Robert: Robert embarked on his spaceship and returned to his planet.

I looked up congenital syphilis... Google Images. it's an absolute nightmare. What a heartbreak.

"up on the food chain" or whatever William Moss said in the alterview... is that code for "gang payroll?"

There is often a theme for a given day, I think today was "drama queens & asshats." That French woman was so obnoxious I wanted... rule against her so bad! The race car driver was so arrogant and full of himself... and his bleached blond ex-girlfriend... I think she was forced to bleach by the Commission For Truth In Advertising. And forcing his 5-yr old into a life of car detailing! That's probably not what he meant but I choose to take the dork at his word. Then three people fighting over some stupid pit bull of all dogs... JJ just awarded the dog to his future dinner. That horse must have had some special talents, maybe even witchcraft, he had some hold on these women!

http://www.people.com/article/whitney-thore-health-update-collapse

I was thinking "cupcake with a generous heaping of frosting" - it looked good on her!

Some spectacular hair in the lesbian room mate switcharoo case. Five hairy gavels!

More Tami

Baby Boss and Ninja Warrior were the only bright spots in a lackluster installment.

Enjoy!

I never watched this show before outside of promos because, I get the idea, she's fat and happy, I don't need to watch the details. Are they switching it up, that you can be fat and happy, but you can't also be all that healthy?

Oh yeah... Patricia not Frances... but a Bean is a Bean!

The house was owned by a doctor. It was rented by a family from Saudi Arabia in the summer, and a family from Cape Cod over the winter. This sounds like a pretty high falutin' bunch to me! When the daughter admitted finding the wine glasses in her possession after complaining about how they were missing to the landlady, I laughed so hard I fell off the couch. They must be hoarders back home in Cape Cod and rent out in California to escape their hoard. The plaintiff AND his daughter both seemed to think this lawsuit was a great idea and JJ would bring them Justice with a capital "J" for this great cause of a used shopping bag of tinsel and lights. They were true believers. The daughter was nodding along with great import. They invested time, money and travel to recover cheap trivial stuff that our beloved JJ deemed ripe for the trashcan. Ten bucks of coasters? I loved when JJ pointed out that he had priced each trivial item and asked him why he did that. He was so befuddled. "ah bah-buh-bah, bah-buh-bah, beh-cuz?" Twenty dollars at Dollarama would have made him whole again. The landlady seemed rational and put together, I doubt that she was trolling them and they were seeking revenge. They really did want their used tinsel back. These people looked tame but they were crazier than Frances Bean!

Who wants TWO trays of jail food? It reminds me of a Woody Allen joke, two people talking at a restaurant: "the food here is really terrible!" "I know! And the portions are so small!"

Is it my imagination, or does Babar always takes offense for other people, even when they don't?

Robert said at the beginning that he wanted to teach something to his students with this experience. He taught them to mock authority, to lie to their faces, malingering, indulgence, arrogance, condescension, to waste hospital time, to disobey important rules, binge on junk food and let people down with responsibilities that are willingly taken like help the captain & sheriff improve their jail.

http://yourslownewsday.com/60-days-in-roberts-poop-diagnosis/

I believe Maryum actually said "small yellow bus" avoiding "short" on purpose.

Another fantastic recap by the witty PTV folks! I loved the details of how much of an idiot Barbra is. She's also really homely... can you indulge me and dwell on this next week? Great screenshots of captain/sheriff reaction faces.

Babar is so righteous... she's always the most upset mascot! Tami is so happy Babar is giving her an opportunity to come to blows! "Maybe-pregnant" sounded deranged and potentially aggressive, I would have kept my distance and out of any drama she creates. She may in fact be lying. I agreed with Maryum's poorly disguised short-bus comment. Blind people can see right away that there is something terribly wrong with this new girl. Don't get caught up! Isaiah looks really dumb... deer-in-headlights follower... desperate for approval... no independent ideas in his head. But his teen mom is magnificent! Robert is completely bonkers and I doubt he actually teaches, probably can't even be a lunch lady. I loved the montage where they show him stating his intentions entering the program to teach his "pupils" to stay out of jail, and after all this medical fakery, make it as if 30 in the pokey was as relaxing as 10 days in Waikiki. How is that supposed to teach kids not to go to jail? Moron. Even his handshakes were mentally unhinged. Maybe jails should be financed by people like Robert that would pay to get in.

They are Messianic Jews, I am not sure that tenets that comprises. Every elaborate dinner tables for the holidays?

That chihuahua was really stupid slurping sideways chicken bones... dogs are too stupid to eat! He should get a Darwin Award! His mother had three puppies? That's enough puppies! Even guppies can have babies! Find another hobby, 25 lbs chihuahua!

Those parents... OMG! And this case probably only scratched the surface! That young woman sounded done with her parents and on her way to a lifetime of "no contact" along with her similarly traumatized siblings. Did I get that right? None of the kids were allowed on their property? The mother sounded like a lunatic, borderline personality disorder, maybe? While the father was like some bovine religious control freak. What a pair! I hope the kids cut ties and set themselves free.

http://yourslownewsday.com/60-days-in-scandal-rocks-the-art-world/

Did anyone count the number of times the editing monkeys made sure to plug in (haha) the word "constipation?" Wasn't it around a dozen times? If we count "prune juice" as euphemism for "constipation" I bet it was. Don't they have Metamucil?