Nedsdag

So next week, we'll see the country cornpone hopefuls fill up Blake's team, right? As great as Billy sounded, it feels like he'll be the male Alisan this season. I have nothing against singers getting a second chance, but Billy was nominated for a Grammy. It kind of seems unfair, but that's how the show goes. I'm on the Wé train unless her voice goes. Sa'Rayah was terrific in a Jennifer Hudson kind of way. I hope she doesn't leave the show early a la JHud on AI.

Delete.

If there was any doubt that Josh is a BSer, here's his proposal to Andi: http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x22c8ce_josh-andi-engaged-the-bachelorette-season-10_people

Wasn't he a sweaty mess when he proposed to Andi? No wait, that was Rahberdo when he proposed to Ali.

Well, if he was the "Jordan Smith" who won The Voice last year...

All that was missing for him was the brewski and the van.

No need to comment when you can insert Tweets instead. Here are a few insults, I mean, replies: One wrote on stationery, while the other wrote on notebook paper from study hall? She chose Not Aaron Rodgers over Not Michael Phelps? Note to future suitors (whoops! Wrong show) or bachelors: wear tight suits and pointy toed shoes. See your ex-boyfriend and his fiancée in the audience while you dis him on the air. Aaron Rodgers (drink!) Aaron Rodgers (drink!) Don't ask your future wife's parents for her hand in person. Call them on your cell phone instead. And make sure they are both by the phone. People have done worse for Green Bay Packers tickets. "I am ready to be engaged I'm so ready I'm so ready I'm still crying over another man I'm so ready." How can you promise to keep her safe when you don't put the shoulder strap on properly [In the limousine]? I can go on all day, but I wish these two lovebirds as much luck and many years together as Andi and Josh. Oh, wait!

Tonight's show was a complete and total mess with KhloJo crying at the drop of a hat. She sent home the one guy with an actual JOB while keeping blonde Snooki/Michael Phelps wannabe and Aaron Rodgers's loser knock kneed brother. Whomever she chooses, she won't make it to the altar with either of them. As for Luke, sign him up to be the next Bachelor. Immediately!

Me, I wish him into oncoming traffic. Day is all hat and no cattle (Texans Corey and Frank know what this means). Can this woman ever win a competition? Stop talking and get into action, heifer!

I'm just watching this show for comedic purposes and I must say it is living up to it. A few things: Is Chad wearing a toupee? That hair looks too Hair Club for Men to me, especially the way he patted it down. Also, instead of working on your upper core, you should be working on those skinny calves of yours. Talking about sexual experiences and orgasms on stage. How California! Evan, you have three kids and you're going on a show "looking for love?" GTF out of this house, you Freddie Krueger if he was attractive looking punk! I would have found Chase more attractive except for that tiger tattoo down his side. He looks like a F1 to me. James Taylor (fill in the last name) looks like a combination of the following: Dennis Quaid, Peter Krause, and FOX Sports soccer analyst Alexi Lalas. I'm also surprised JT X didn't audition for The Voice (or maybe he did). He'd be a shoo in on Blake Shelton's team and would have gone quite far on that show. Joelle should've kept the 40s look. It makes her look less Khloé Kardashian. Jordan looks like a hot Novak Djokovic. Forgive me. I've been watching too much tennis this past week. "Security guard, will you accept this rose?"

I wasn't looking forward to this season's Bachelorette because of the way Fleiss and Co. treated the girl who originally was chosen and replaced with Khloe Kardashian 2.0. But this is the first season I can remember watching the show only for the contestants. Chad has to stay on for two more episodes. I like Wells, but he won't go very far either, Jordan is a skeevy, knock kneed version of his more talented older brother with the Arie storyline from Emily's season, That JoJo song was cringeworthy (thank you, Chad), and Luke is your next Bachelor. And Chase is Joelle's final one (I can't call a grown woman by her family name. I have a cousin nicknamed Bunny. I wouldn't call her that in public). Christian stripping and getting into the tub at the end of the show? There are simply no words.

On one hand, I should be ecstatic that a female coach won. On the other hand, I felt that the manipulation to get there was over the top. "We want a female coach to win" is just as embarrassing as Hillary Clinton pleading with voters that America needs a female president to win (note: I am not a supporter of Clinton or Donald Trump). Alisan has a Voice, but I don't know where that voice will take her in the future. I hope she's prepared for the disappointment that many of these winners will go through after the show ends. It's nice that celebrity succubus Kim K. was able to get her minions to vote for Alisan; now do her a bigger favor and get your crazy producer/rapper husband to help Alisan further in her career by producing her debut album or sample her voice on a future song of his. Or perhaps Alisan can sing Jesus songs so Mrs. Mark Burnett put together a quickie album of "inspirational" songs. Get it done Mrs. West or Mrs. Burnett. Loved Hannah's and Laith's group performance. Could have done without Adam's group one. See everyone in the fall with Destiny Hope Cyrus and Mrs. Swizz Beatz as coaches. Hopefully, the producers will tease it to the second or third blind audition shows before we can actually guess who will be the chosen one for next season.

In all the years I have watched this show, I was never inclined to buy a contestant's song on iTunes. But after hearing Hannah's original song, I coughed up the $1.29 to buy it. That was amazing. It had a Grace Potter feel that I always thought Hannah had. Sadly, she won't win the battle, but if any of the final four deserves mainstream pop success, it should be her. Even her version of "Every Breath You Take" was both stunning and haunting. She truly came on, unfortunately it was too little, too late for the win. F you, Pharrell for waiting so long for this to happen. Alisan was Alisan tonight. I didn't even bother to watch her performance of "Somewhere" because I could've predicted her performance and the orgasmic reaction of the judges. Laith had a terrific night, but I see him finishing fourth. Regardless, I could pay to watch him perform live. As for the winner, I thought Adam phoned it in tonight until the last song. Since Blake's Hee Haw constituency will vote their tails off for him, I see him winning it all. If I were a conspiracy theorist, I would think the reason Adam coasted was he may have a secret recording deal even if he loses. Christina went overboard with the spray tan. She was the color of my bedroom door which is cedar.

Had to tape the show due to a concert I attended (actual talent). I am ecstatic that Hannah made it to the finals. Now can Pharrell come up with a song that fits her talent? This is The Voice, not the talent competition of the Miss America pageant. Regardless, I hope she can finish third. So, it'll be between the poor man's Chris Stapleton vs. Linda Screechstadt for the final? I gotta go with Chris 2.0 on this one.

Damn! Mary Sarah (Gross) is going to be the third save by America? This girl could sing B-I-N-G-O and she'll still be voted through. Damn her Twitter following! She'll be back to singing in bars in Nashville after the show. Mama Screech NEARLY had me with her duet with Adam and her version of Desperado, but of course she had to add a glory note towards the end. Let it be, Alisan, let it be! Say what you want about Adam, but he's been consistent throughout and his part of the duet enhanced Alisan's style. I still say he's the favorite to win it all. Could someone please get into Pharrell's ear to suggest that Hannah sing anything by Florence Welch (Florence + the Machine) or Grace Potter if and only if she sings next week? The tone of these ladies's voices fit perfectly with Hannah's style. Heck, even a Juice Newton song would work with Hannah. The good Christina: Her power suit fit perfectly. The girls were covered tonight. The bad Christina: Suggesting Bryan sing her song. He didn't have the range to hit the notes and he knew it. Laith's guitar licks were exquisite, but his singing was lacking. Shalyah and Paxton's duet was good, but their solo stuff was both forgettable and thrown under the bus obvious when they sang early. Bye, guys!

Dear Mrss. Bruckheimer, Van Munster, Vertullo, Littman, and Ms. Doganieri: A few suggestions for future shows: Stop casting racers who have a fear of heights. It's getting out of hand. No more stunt casting. Tyler Oakley is a known commodity. I rooted against him for this reason alone. It's time for a revamping of your casting. Perhaps you should hire a psychologist to analyze potential contestants. You have far too many uberfans and near sociopaths coming on your show. Cast racers who have a slight idea regarding pronunciation of locations. Otherwise, I fine with the bickering breakdancers winning. As long as Tyler and whatshisname didn't win. See you in September. Sincerely, Nedsdag

I guess she didn't receive the text from the year 1971 asking for their hot pants back. I forgot to mention Adam tonight. To be honest, he's probably been the most consistent singer all season. I don't know where he'll fit in today's music world, but to me he's the favorite to win it all in two weeks. Yep, another WGWG winner. Or should I say another Blake winner instead? ETA: By the way, what's with Adam and the hat every week? I'm making the assumption that he's receding, but that hasn't stopped Laith from being balding and bearded. Let what's left of your follicles breathe, dude!

If there was a singing competition god, after tonight's performances Hannah and Bryan would survive the red wedding blood bath next week and Mary Sarah (Gross) and yes I'm saying it, Alisan would go home (we all know Shalyah, Nick, and Paxton are DOA either this week or next week). Both delivered on their songs. I changed the channel just when Mama Screech (Alisan) was about to sing. When there was a commercial on what I wanted to watch, I turned back to TV. Sweet Yeezus was she shrilly and screechy! WTF? I did change the channel again right before the circle jerk began. For some reason Blake looks extremely attractive when he dresses up. But his song with his boo, Gwen, was forgettable to say the least. Ditto Florida Georgia Line's "performance". The Swon Brothers sounded better during their time on The Voice and they're an opening act now. Christina's shady look during the performance was classic Aguilera. Plus, she's giving her plastic surgeon even more clients with her bought and paid for cleavage.

Aw! I'll miss Burnie & Ashley, just as they were calling out the other teams for being haughty. Now we have the Battling Breakdancers, the Red State Edumacated ones, and Mr. YouTube and whatshisname. I didn't think I'd miss the Frisbee boys as much as I did tonight. *Desperately Seeking Spoilers.*

Well, if there was a show called The Poser, Daniel would've been the odds on favorite to win. He sure did more posing than singing. His version of Uptown Funk made me want to delete the original off of my iPod Classic (yes, I still have one). What a putrid, puerile version of that song. It was nice to see Sawyer back. It made me want to download his single and I wasn't a huge fan of his during his season. Christina, jade eye shadow is not your friend. You looked like the lady on Drew Carey's show from the 1990s.

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A part of me wanted to reach through my television, take Adam by his Prince tribute, suburban gated community dad tie and strangle him after he declared Alisan the "winner" after her screechy, melodramatic performance. He did all this BEFORE LAITH SANG!!!!!! And when Laith did sing, he dropped the mike, the hammer, the sickle, the guitar, and every overused cliché regarding dropping things tonight after his performance. Yes, this song has been sung in three consecutive seasons, but Laith truly gave it the soul both recorded versions have done. Best of the night. Period. As for Mama Screech, Christina still hasn't learned her lesson from Jacquie Lee. The song has soul, but Alisan screamed all of the soul out of it and Christina failed to coach her out of this. Biggest surprise of the night: Paxton, who sees himself as BeBe Winans instead of Michael Jackson and did a decent job with his gospel song. Kudos to Pharrell and Blake for collaborating. Also, did they also collaborate with Hannah, whose version of I Can't Make You Love Me was stunning and less pageantry than her usual performances? I wish they would pimp her more than Alisan. Also, another surprise was, wait for it, Nick who trimmed down his falsetto and gave a semi-sexy version of the John Mayer song. But please grow your hair back ASAP! Biggest disappointment of the night: Shalyah and the over played and overwrought Miley Cyrus song. I don't think she's going home yet. Starland Vocal Spawn Owen may beat her to the door along with Mr. Preening Daniel.

I watched the SNL Prince tribute and I failed to put 2 + 2 together when they showed him singing with a woman named Tamar. I thought it was another singer with big hair with the same name. I'm surprised she never mentioned this during her blind audition. It was all about her leaving Destiny's Child pre-puberty. My guess is the tribute will be Purple Rain with all the contestants and coaches on stage at the beginning of the show with Laith shredding some of Prince's solo at the end of the song.