TheRealT

ITA because Jenelle is loathsome, but I also see her as someone who is mentally ill and has limited ability to just choose to do better. IMO, her mental illness is probably on par with her brother Colin's (just to choose a random person who acknowledges his mental illness). Colin lives in an assisted living facility, is in therapy, takes meds, etc., etc. Jenelle pretty much does none of those things. I guess she takes whatever pharmaceuticals she can get a prescription for/enjoys, but I think it would be a big stretch to say she's doing so under the supervision of a medical professional. I can't see Jenelle or UBT following the court's directives. UBT, who is undoubtedly in control, is hellbent on not following anyone's orders, no matter what. He is adamant and belligerent about 1) having done nothing wrong, and 2) being the unquestioned master of his life/Land/kids/wife/etc. I think if the court ordered him to bring a dozen donuts to his next supervised visitation he would fight it, just on principle, so asking any more than that is a HUGE AFFRONT to him which he WILL NOT ABIDE. Say what you want about him, but UBT is unquestionably principled (when it comes to his absolute authority over his family/Land). ITA that UBT's gut reaction to the court taking his kids away would be to impregnate his woman at least a couple of times back-to-back so that he would have 2 or more new kids within a couple of years. In his crazy mind, that would "vindicate" him and provide him with fodder to post on SM going, "I will do whatever it takes to protect my family. #fuckcps #noapologiesnoregrets" [posing with him brandishing a gun over the bassinet of his infant] I question whether Jenelle really got her tubes tied, but, if she didn't, I would 100% assume that UBT is trying to knock her up. If she really did get her tubes tied, I would think that he's planning how to dump her while keeping as much of their property/money as possible and scheming to hook up with some dumb, fertile new soulmate who could spawn him some new kids to be in control of.

Since it wasn't mentioned why/whether UBT opted not to visit with the kids either, can we assume that he wasn't allowed visitation? That would explain why Jenelle opted out as well. I could totally see him insisting that if he's not allowed to see the kids, she shouldn't either and maybe their lawyer told them it would look extra bad for her to admit that that was the reason and convinced her to go with the "not feeling well" story instead. Though that's disgusting and pathetic, it's slightly better than, "My psycho husband, who killed our dog and caused all of this upheaval for our kids, doesn't want me to visit the kids if he can't visit too (due to his bad behavior on multiple supervised visits)."

Personally, I question whether Jenelle really had a tubal ligation. Whether she did or not, I think that her appeal for UBT will be significantly diminished now that she's lost her job/ability to get him a job with MTV. Without MTV, UBT will most likely have to support Jenelle since she has pretty much no earning power (outside of maybe exotic dancing/porn). With no kids for him to exercise his ownership/dominance over and no money to provide him with Land, toys, and a work-free life, I'm not sure what Jenelle's appeal would be for him. If he has to work to support himself/his family, I don't see why he wouldn't opt for someone fertile, without the taint of multiple CPS investigations/child removals, and able/willing to be a good housewife (vs. him being a househusband). Who wants to work full-time to support his spouse (and her dubious health issues) only to come home to perform all the domestic tasks as well?

Jenelle doesn't do the work of rationalizing anything. She's sociopathic. She doesn't give a fuck about anything but satisfying her own immediate needs. "Growth" for her is developing some awareness of how she can serve her medium- or long-term needs as well. So, in her mind, she's "doing good" to choose a "soulmate" like UBT because he doesn't cheat on her and (after countless disastrous relationships with guys who did cheat on her) she's learned that being with a cheater is problematic for her. She doesn't give a fuck about her kids, so her thinking around her kids in finding a "soulmate" only extends to getting someone who will do the basic care and feeding so she doesn't have to. She'd probably be pretty relieved if she could find a "soulmate" who would commit to her without wanting any kids in their lives.

Yet ANOTHER example of how they can't even fake being "normal." ANYONE who thought of her/himself as a decent parent (whether others agreed or not) would be ABSOLUTELY FRANTIC with worry over how their young children's removal from their home was affecting the kids. They would be up all night worrying about whether the kids were being cared for properly, what the kids understood about what was happening, how traumatic being ripped from their home was for the kids, etc., etc. OBVIOUSLY, parents in that situation would crawl over broken glass, miss chemotherapy sessions, etc., etc. to visit their kids. But Jenelle "isn't feeling well," so she's fine with not seeing her kids for 4+ days. Days during which, according to their narrative, their 2-year-old, who has lived in their loving home since birth, is being kept from her wonderful parents. But you can't even look at the situation in the light of what decent parents would do if their kids were "unfairly" taken away, because the first thing any even semi-decent parent would do is NOT CHOOSE THEIR DOG-KILLING SPOUSE OVER THEIR KIDS in the first place.

And the thing with Kail is that we have seen plenty of scenes of the boys playing sports, goofing around with each other, cutely interacting with others, etc. But, quite often, Kail is a dark cloud in or around those scenes because she's not speaking to someone(s), she's agonizing over Chris, she's sobbing hysterically, she's yelling at someone, etc. It's her. My impression of Isaac and Lincoln is that they're nice, good-looking kids. I know that they play sports and I'm not surprised at all that Isaac does well in school. So what is she complaining about? No one thinks her kids are fucked up; people think she's fucked up. So we don't need (additional) scenes at sporting events (with Kail hulking on the sidelines refusing to acknowledge Lauren/Javi/Jo/Vee/Vivi) or scenes of the kids playing with the crew. And we view any scene of Kail talking to a realtor on an empty lot (didn't realize what an accomplishment that is) within the context of "Kail's Khaos," which includes all of the aforementioned fuckery.

So she's on the outs with Javi again? Why? I can only imagine how tired her kids will be of her endless feuds with their dads by the time they're teens/old enough to understand how stupid and petty it all is. And how hard their eyes will roll when she explains that she wanted them to get to know her family, but they all somehow pissed her off or disappointed her, so she had to cut them out of her kids' lives. Kail truly, deeply doesn't get it and she probably never will.

I'm confused. 1) MTV did film a segment about her "house building" (really just a scene of her going to talk to some guy on a vacant lot, so, not hard to understand why they didn't find that a riveting storyline). Actually, two scenes because there was another scene of her talking about going to the vacant lot. 2) What, in her mind, was there to film about her talking to people about building a house on an empty lot, then having the deal fall through before a spade of earth is turned? Kail is so completely full of shit and her attitude about how MTV should be filming all the highlights of her amazing life is laughable. Is she claiming that the scenes of her being a vindictive, immature, dramatic, dickmatized hosebeast are somehow faked? No, she's asserting that, though all of that stuff is real, MTV should film Isaac getting an A on an assignment instead of her making a fool of herself crying and screaming over Baby Daddy #3 or behaving like a 14-year-old over Baby Daddy #2's new Baby Mama. Because, as the holder of a bachelor's degree in communications, she knows that that kind of thing would make a better, more successful and socially relevant show. It's absolutely hilarious how she seems to really believe that she's some kind of sophisticated, successful... I don't even know what? Intellectual? Socialite? Aspirational figure? Maybe she should write an op-ed for the New York Times about her opinions on accurate, feminist-positive representations of young mothers on reality TV. I mean, she is a best-selling NYT author and all, so it makes sense... Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!

I was thinking that maybe they went to Lowes to get supplies to build some kind of hidden bomb shelter/panic room to which they can retreat to hide from authorities if anyone comes to The Land to try to take the kids again.

Seriously, is there any scenario in which a "decent" mom (or dad) would allow their children to be removed from their home rather than having a parent leave voluntarily (because they were being investigated for killing the family dog, which they admitted to)? I'm asking seriously. I just can't imagine any situation in which that would make sense. Let's say the accused parent didn't really kill the dog or they did so because they honestly thought the animal was a danger to their kids. If the authorities "overreacted" by insisting that the kids couldn't live with the (wrongly) accused, how would it make sense to make the kids leave their home AND both parents? I guess maybe if the kids were older and able to stay with family members whom they knew very well and the "falsely accused" parent had some type of mental or physical illness which made him/her especially vulnerable? I could see it being arguable under those circumstances, but Jenelle's kids are very young and I don't think they're copping to UBT being mentally ill. So what is the rationale, in their minds, for allowing their children to be taken out of their "safe, loving, stable" home when it could be prevented by UBT leaving instead? Do they even feel obligated to justify it? Do they understand that most "normal" parents would never do that?

From what I understand from the court papers, they were collectively making at least $500K- $400K from Jenelle's MTV salary, $60K from UBT's MTV salary, and (I estimate) at least $40K from Jenelle's SM and other side work. Yet they were both so stupid that they blew that for these principles: 1) UBT should be allowed to do whatever he wants, no matter how uncomfortable it makes anyone, how offensive it is to anyone, or how much it violates basic standards of "normal" behavior and 2) If anyone wrongly violates UBT's rights as outlined above, Jenelle is entitled to support him by resisting that violation in whatever way he, I mean she, deems appropriate. Hahahahahahahahahaaha! Both of them getting fired is the most delicious thing ever. It couldn't have happened to two more deserving morons!

I agree that (sadly) all or most of the kids will end up back in Jenelle and UBT's full- or part-time custody pretty soon. I'm heartened by the fact that the cop investigating Nugget's murder raised red flags with regard to any minors living at The Swamp, but I feel like that was almost some kind of "rogue" action with that person taking drastic action out of a sense of decency and concern for the kids, but going against the standard way of dealing with cases like this. I think/fear that, at the end of the day, authorities will find that UBT was within his rights to murder Nugget (especially with Jenelle declining to make any kind of complaint and confirming UBT's version of events in which Nugget "injured" Ensley) and that the kids will be returned to residence/visitation on The Land, perhaps with some kind of education about how murdering family pets in front of your kids could be problematic. There's a 0% chance that this incident has been a wake up call to Jenelle in any way and there's a -38% chance that this incident has influenced UBT's thinking in any positive way. If anything, he's probably more dug-in on asserting his "rights" over his land, his animals, and his family than ever before.

Example #9,856 of how these people can't even fake being "normal," not even a little bit. If ANY decent (much less "wonderful" and "perfect") father were falsely accused of being a danger to his kids and the parents were told that the kids, particularly a 2-year-old, would have to be removed from the home as long as the dad was there, it would IMMEDIATELY be COMPLETELY OBVIOUS that the most reasonable course of action would be for the DAD to leave. What mother of very young children would allow her kids to be taken away and/or move out with the kids so as not to inconvenience her husband (who just killed her dog)? She's probably lying about leaving with Ensley (if that report is true) and she will probably either dump Ensley off with whomever or try to sneakily keep Ensley on The Land with her and UBT. All while acting as if it's totally understandable that UBT would put his entire family through such turmoil because he was standing on the principle that it would be totally unfair to make him leave his home when he "did nothing wrong." I can hear her tearful IG post now, "How do you think my husband feels to be told that our kids can't be in our home with him? He's done nothing wrong, so why should he have to leave his home or be kept away from his kids? This is all so unfair! Me and the kids want to go home, but CPS is saying that they can't be there. I feel like I'm caught in the middle- I don't want my kids taken away, but I want to be with my husband!"

Is Kail bothered by Chris smoking pot all the time however many years later (undoubtedly more than Vee/Jo ever did)? NO, not at all! Is Kail bothered by having a haircare line called Pothead? NO, not at all! Thanks for never mentioning marijuana/pot/cannabis use as a negative ever again, Kail!

These are Kail's stated reasons for refusing to even speak to Lauren, Javi's partner, with whom Lincoln spends 50% of his time and the mother to Lincoln's brother: No, Kail isn't a high schooler. She's a mother of three (by 3 different dads) who's pushing 30. For someone so "sophisticated" with a bachelor's degree (supposedly), she's awfully petty and ridiculous. The nonsense with her reading Lauren's texts calling her a twat happened, what, 2 years ago? Even setting aside how Kail is The Messiest Bitch Ever and Lauren obviously only called her a twat because of what Javi had told Lauren about her, really? I thought Kail was so sophisticated and mature? She has seriously refused to even speak to her son's stepmother for over a year over that bullshit? Really?!?! So Lincoln has to endure every hand off, every soccer game, every school event being awkward and uncomfortable because Lauren insulted Kail in private communications 2 years ago? And Kail isn't even embarrassed by this; she's actually proud of it? Really?!?! Is she really so immature that she thinks it's reasonable for her to keep this up forever? Like, when she goes to Linc's high school graduation and Lauren and Eli are there, she'll ignore them and explain to whomever, "I have never acknowledged Lauren's existence because she called me a twat in texts to Javi 14 years ago. I know Lincoln and Eli are close, but I can't acknowledge Eli because then I'd have to acknowledge his mom. It sucks that it has to be this way, but Lauren should have thought about that before she defamed me in private messages to Javi before she ever met me (more than a decade ago). Yes, Javi and his entire family have been great about embracing Isaac and even Lux, but I have to stand up for my principles." And the thing is, no one would know about the absolute horror of Lauren calling her a twat in texts if Kail hadn't publicized it and blown it up into The Biggest Deal Ever. And, OBVIOUSLY, Kail has said all kinds of shit about her baby daddies (up to and including falsely accusing Jo of assaulting her) and their partners, but we all know that Kail can do whatever the fuck she wants while everyone else has to walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting her in any way. She's just so awful.

My mind is blown at the idea of Jenelle giving marital advice. A week before her "perfect" husband killed her dog and a week and a half before she got over that and returned to living with him and trying to pass their marriage/life off as healthy and "normal." The delusion is staggering. I seriously wonder what goes through her mind. Does she think, "Well, yeah, UBT beats me, my son, and my dogs and he viciously murdered Nugget, but really he's a good guy who's just misunderstood. I need to lie to protect him and someday he'll stop beating us (or at least me)."? Does she think that she and UBT's other victims deserve his abuse because they did something to set him off and they need to learn to do better? Does she ever think seriously about her life, her marriage, how she's raising her kids, etc? I honestly don't get it. And I'm fairly familiar with the dynamics of domestic violence, so I get that DV victims' actions don't necessarily "make sense." But I still don't get what Jenelle's thought process is. She's not financially dependent on UBT; it's actually the other way around. He's not her first love or first serious relationship or someone she's been with for a long time. He's not someone who comes off to the outside world as a great husband and father, making her feel ashamed to admit that he's not as perfect as everyone thinks. When she hooked up with UBT, Jenelle was willing and able to provide her next soul mate/baby daddy with 6 to 7 figures in property, cash, earning ability, trips, etc. Ideally, she wanted someone who would do most of the childcare and other adulting so she could focus on staying medicated and avoiding the stresses of real life. UBT jumped all over that, but ran the opportunity into the ground in record time. Even a semi-"normal" guy could have faked it for the cameras for a few weeks a few times a year- playing with the kids, tending to the chickens, doing talking heads about how concerned he was about Nathan's parenting (without being violent, offensive, and antagonistic at MTV events and online). Jenelle and her partner had the ability to make a mid-6-figures income just doing that, but they blew it. UBT is older and more experienced with "real life" (i.e., not making 6 figures for "working" on a reality show), so he should have realized how good he/they had it, but he's so stupid/crazy that he didn't. I think he honestly can't stop himself from behaving like a lunatic, even when he should realize that it's going to cost him dearly. The level of "good behavior" required by MTV was almost certainly lower than any other job he ever had, but he couldn't manage to do something as simple a go on a free trip to LA and not act violent and threatening at a party thrown by his and his wife's employer. Let him try that shit at the holiday party for employees at Costco or a diving company or wherever else he might be able to get a job. It's just crazy to me. The most fucked up people I know would mind ALL of their P's and Q's if they had the opportunity to make that kind of money essentially doing nothing.

Even if UBT has never physically harmed Maryssa, he has certainly emotionally and psychologically abused her for years. At minimum, she has had to witness his frequent freak outs and meltdowns in which he runs around ranting, shooting and brandishing guns, beating Kaiser and the animals (I'm sure the Nugget incident wasn't the first time he abused the animals), fighting with Jenelle, railing against everyone (including Maryssa's relatives on her mom's and UBT's sides), etc., etc., etc. UBT is an angry, violent, unstable person. It's not possible for him to be a good, non-abusive parent. I think it's very possible that he killed Nugget to punish Jenelle and the story about the dog snapping at Ensley is a lie, but even if you take his account of the incident at face value, think how twisted that is. His way of loving and protecting his baby daughter is to beat and kill a family pet in front of her and other kids. Even if he took the dog outside where the kids couldn't directly witness the murder, it would have been obvious to the kids what was happening and definitely traumatic. They would have seen UBT freak out and violently drag the dog outside, heard UBT and the dog screaming outside, heard the gunshot, then seen UBT come back still hyped up and angry and covered in Nugget's blood. That would be terrifying for them, but it's unlikely that either "parent" focused on comforting them. Instead, Jenelle and UBT were screaming at each other with Jenelle sobbing about how upsetting it all was for her. That's child abuse.

Yes. Barb can't terminate Jenelle's parental rights and their legal relationship with regard to Jace is basically like Jenelle is Jace's (deadbeat) mom and Barb is his dad (or other mom), who has been his primary/sole caretaker since he was an infant. So, just as Chelsea can't just decide to terminate Adam's parental rights (and Jenelle's legal track record/status as a legal parent is much better than his), Barb can't decide to terminate Jenelle's. Jenelle has court ordered visitation, so Barb is required to send Jace on those visits except in extreme/emergency cases where there is some reason to think Jace wouldn't be safe on a visit. The incident with Nugget's murder may qualify and I would guess that Barb wouldn't "get in trouble" if she didn't let Jace visit in the immediate aftermath and waited for a court ruling on whether Jace should be going for visits on The Land without supervision. But if the court decides that it is safe for Jace to visit Jenelle with UBT being present and without supervision, Barb will have no choice but to comply. She could run away with Jace (which would put her in legal jeopardy and most likely result in Jace being given to Jenelle if they were caught) or she could fight legally to the greatest extent possible (which, if it didn't work, would put her in the same position as above). I would assume that UBT would make Jenelle rescind permission for Jace and Kaiser to film. On one level, I would enjoy thinking about UBT and Jenelle being pissed that Barb and Nathan are on the show when they're not, but it's better for the kids to not be on the show, so I'm fine with it.

It's worse than that. No network would want to work with UBT because of the backlash it will cause with advertisers. That's the true kiss of death for a wannabe famewhore. Also, despite his delusions of famewhoring grandeur, UBT is not and never was "reality TV gold." He's certainly a train wreck, but in a disturbing, infuriating, off-putting way. He was never a "break out star," even on the level of someone like Gary Shirley or Randy Houska. Or Barb. I think Kieffer probably was/is more popular/entertaining. Even Jenelle has only ever been a "star" because of what a fuck up/lunatic she is. Amber is more endearing than Jenelle. So it was a totally bad choice for Jenelle's "brand" for her storyline to be her faking being a "normal" wife and mom. She's no Chelsea. At all. But UBT totally doesn't get that. At all. His small taste of reality TV fame went directly to his head and he overplayed his hand to the point where both he and Jenelle are reality TV pariahs within, what, 3 years of him hooking up with her? I guess maybe Jenelle could get back on TM if she left him, but I don't see why any other show/network would be remotely interested in her. UBT isn't particularly interesting as "character" and any production that hired him would have problems with the crew, other cast members, potential viewers, and advertisers. He's done as a "reality star" for sure and she's probably done too unless she wakes up and smells the coffee very soon. I love it!

Yeah, if you think about it, Jenelle's kids are used to living with "parents" who are mostly/often high, holed up in their bedroom, behaving erratically, fighting, etc., etc. "High" is probably the preferable state to the kids since Jenelle and UBT are more likely to be pleasant in that state (and to happily provide copious yummy snacks). Then, when the cameras are there, Jenelle and UBT suddenly behave weirdly (to the kids), refraining from major freak outs, beating the kids, being holed up in their bedroom for hours, etc., etc. They even stage weird scenes trying to act "normal" when they're like, "Hey, Buddy! Do you want some pancakes? I'll make you some breakfast and put on fresh strawberries like you like!" while the kids are like, "Wait, you were just screaming, beating our dog, and threatening to kill me. What's going on?" At those times, they also have the crew/producers in their home being nice to them and behaving like "normal" adults. So the kids love all of that and value those times, but they also feel the violation of their privacy and general weirdness of it all on some level. As they get older and process the whole situation more, their confusion deepens. Imagine if you came to realize that the happiest/safest/most "normal" moments of your childhood were all staged for a TV show and ALL of the adults were being paid to treat you like a human being? Especially when that is counterbalanced with a life of chaos, violence, and never feeling safe or stable.

I just listened to the 911 call. From what I could understand, MTV producers called Nathan and told him that Jenelle had told them that UBT killed Nugget and she was leaving to go to a friend's house. Nathan was understandably distressed and concerned that Kaiser had witnessed the murder and/or he was still at the house with UBT. Apparently, he hasn't had any contact with Jenelle in almost a year and he doesn't have her current phone number, so he was unable to reach out to her to find out what was going on. Though I understand that Nathan has psychological/other problems, I admit that I judge him for not getting his shit sufficiently together to get Kaiser away from Jenelle for at least 50% of the time. Jenelle is a MOTHERFUCKING TRAIN WRECK TO THE NTH POWER, so it's hardly like he'd have to be a church deacon and Rhodes Scholar to compete with her for 50/50 custody. UBT's ex has managed to almost completely exclude him from her son's life and she's not super rich or influential; I read reports (don't know how true) that she struggled to get the money for the legal fees to fight UBT at times. I believe that Nathan loves Kaiser and understands how dangerous it is for him to be in the environment Jenelle provides. In the 911 call he alludes to his own fucked up childhood a couple of times and says that he's very concerned about how Kaiser might be affected by witnessing the murder of his family pet. I believe that he (unlike Jenelle) actually gets how fucked up UBT and Life on The Land are. Yet, he's failed to take the fairly basic steps he would need to take to establish himself as a viable half-time parent (if not to get full custody). It's not even like he has to be truly, deeply "together." If he could establish a stable place to live (even with his mom), stay out of legal trouble for 6 months to a year, and hold down a job (Even easier with the MTV income; it's not like Jenelle has any kind of "legit" job. He probably wouldn't have to get a real job anywhere, but he could probably get even some kind of part-time job, even at a convenience store or something, and sell that as evidence of his stability and ability to support his son.), that would probably be more than enough for him to qualify for shared custody (at least). Yet he has failed to do that for more than a year. As I understand it, he doesn't even live in NC; he lives in FL with his gf and goes to NC for biweekly weekend visits with Kaiser. Doesn't he have a daughter as well? Where does she live? He should be prioritizing living near his kid(s) and getting custody of his son who is LIVING WITH A SOCIOPATH over his personal happiness/being with his gf/whatever keeps him in FL and he should be working hard to change whatever circumstances in his life are preventing him from getting custody of Kaiser.

Yeah. And I'll go further to say that I question whether Kail's "My girl" posts mean that she hooked up with Leah in some way. I think that Kail would think nothing of enhancing her vacation by getting some and she wouldn't give a fuck about the repercussions on any level (especially if she got Leah to agree to keep it a secret). Leah seems very-- malleable and I could totally see her acting on "bicuriousness" if the opportunity presented itself on a free vacation.

ITA. Jenelle's segments have literally been reduced to mostly clips and screenshots from SM, sometimes interspersed with her telling absurdly obvious lies in an attempt to normalize and excuse UBT's behavior. Her life is clearly a train wreck, but it doesn't have the usual "entertainment value" because all the drama is off-screen. I would think they'd still be able to show stuff from her SM and news reports about her without her permission, so why involve her at all? Especially since the MTV money is just enabling, exacerbating, and prolonging the whole twisted situation. I caught that too. It seems that UBT is still framing his banishment from MTV as a temporary problem that can be solved if Jenelle is steadfast enough in her insistence that he be rehired and/or he is clever enough doing... whatever it is he's trying to do.

Yes. And the thing is, I appreciate a big ass. I have one (natural) and I live in Harlem. Very large asses can be awesome. But Kailyn's fake big ass is ridiculous. Just, no.

UBT is too mentally ill/stupid to have a rational "end game." He found himself in the position of being a "star" in terms of his role on a big MTV show and his control over an even bigger "star" on the show. That gave him the confidence to act out, behaving however he wanted. Since he is crazy and violent/antisocial, that behavior was highly objectionable and problematic. Despite numerous warnings, he continued to do whatever the fuck he wanted (which was all crazy stuff that the average moron would know MTV would have a problem with). Then MTV finally stopped fucking around and fired him. Rather than taking this drastic action as a wake-up call, UBT became infuriated that they dared to try to contain him and dedicated himself to forcing them to rehire him through his control over Jenelle. That also failed and put Jenelle in a position where her continued employment by MTV is in question. Since UBT is mentally ill and very dumb, he still doesn't get it and thinks that maybe if he just asserts himself a little bit more, with a new offensively-named IG account, MTV will finally get that he's in control, not them, and they will capitulate and announce the launch of a new show, Honkies in the Swamp, starring him and Jenelle as the new It couple for the next MAGA-certified decade.