RetailTherapy

Wait. What? Jason Derullo isn't just one of those guest judge folks? He's going to be slouched over there, mumbling all season? No. Just, no. Paula is actually a dancer, so she gets a pass. While I like the show, I'm also very over contemporary and that weird style where they seem to pop out their joints.

I actually liked Noah and Rumer's freestyles. Rumer's the best. Riker's was just weird. The music, the costumes, the entire troop of dancers. Everything. And with all dances by Allison this season, it was frantic and sloppy. Again, Sharna has proven herself to be the choreographer of the show. She managed to create coherent routines for a man with one arm and one leg. He's still not a dancer, but she made him look like one. Derek and his hand jive should take lessons from the master.

While yes, Noah is an inspiration, he's just not a dancer. This show is not called "Inspired by the Stars", it's called "Dancing with the Stars". Critical difference. JR had the chops and personality to warrant his win. Easily. Amy, while not a war hero, also had enough dancing skill to master all of the dances and to do well. Noah, through no fault of his own, cannot physically master the dances. Quickstep? No. Jive? No. The rise and fall of the V Waltz? No. The intricate footwork of the A. Tango? No. He's great at posing and lifting Sharna. With what she's managed to do with him and even with the obnoxious Andy Dick, she's more than yanked away the crown of most creative choreographer during her time on the show. And quite honestly, if Noah's abs had their own spinoff show, I'd totally watch. I think we can expect a frantic, frenetic freestyle from Allison. She only has one speed - turbo. Maybe Twitch will help her out a bit. The wild card is whether Val will create something memorable for Rumer or if he'll fall flat. I almost wish they'd saved the Black Swan thing for this week.

Ummm, WTF? While I'm thrilled that Rumer made it, I'm just baffled by what I just witnessed. And I type this as someone who loathes Derek with the passion of a thousand suns, but there is no way that Noah should have been in the finals over Nastia. Hell, he shouldn't have been there over Willow, Robert or even that dull bachelor. Shark? Jumped. Thoroughly.

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this season. On one hand, Rumer, Riker and Nastia are very good dancers. That's something we've really not ever seen - three that could win in any season. Usually it's one good dancer and a few ok ones at the end. Or, like in the season of Brooke Burke, no good dancers at all. On the other hand, I feel like any personality the show had this season left when Redfoo, Patti, Willow and Robert were booted off. I also miss pros like Karina, Louis, Cheryl and Maks. Not a fan of Allison and her frantic dances. But there are a few good adds - Artem (yum), Emma, Sharna and even Witney. I totally want Rumer to win and if not her, Riker. And I'm sure I'll get struck by lightening, but I'm very tired of Noah. Yes, he's done great things. And yes, there should be a weekly show that features his abs. But he isn't really dancing. There are things that he simply cannot do through no fault of his own. He should have been gracefully gone weeks ago.

Yeah, not terribly impressed with the trio dance concept. In all honesty, I liked the ones that actually, you know, DANCED together instead of the one that did all they could to showcase the supastah (said in the Mary Katherine Gallagher voice) and not the actual celebrity. Paso is hard to do, so props for those. Even that of Nastia, who continues to look like a 55 year old woman. Go away forever, contemporary dancing. Take the bachelor with you.

That was so sad. She was so heartbroken and it made me cry. Poor thing held it together until she got out there for a final dance. What I wouldn't give to have seen Nastia and gimpy get the boot tonight. Tom, as typical, was awesome. And even Erin managed to show some tact and compassion. The real choreographer on this show is Mark. He has been able to pull amazingly creative routines out, week after week, season after season, for such a huge variety of ability, age, style and religious belief. He managed to provide fun, age appropriate routines for a young teen that showcased HER ability. Derek is the one who unfairly gets that credit as being so great, which induces much eye rolling. Let's face it, we've seen his entire bag of tricks many times over. Hand jive. Dancing inside/behind/under some object. Smoke. Dim lights. And those tricks and gimmicks won't work with someone that doesn't already have some dance ability, so we'll never see him with a Cloris, Valerie or LoLo type partner. A non-dance partner would cause the annoyance of requiring him to actually teach them how to dance and that's just not how he seems to roll. Joining up with the present group on the knoll. There was something mighty fishy with the show last night. Giving Nastia immunity for absolutely no reason. Riker's scores were frighteningly inflated for that flat footed quickstep-ish dance that wasn't dinged for all of the hold breaks. Rumer was frighteningly underscored for what was a near perfect jive. Noah...I just don't know what to say. I think that Sharna's talent lies in jazz, as she even managed to make Andy Dick look good, which is damned near impossible. And this, to me, was Noah's best dance. But not 10 worthy. Said to me that he needed a bit of propping. The scores for Robert and bachelor Chris seem to be somewhat in line with what they've done, so that says to me they didn't need propping at this point and are being saved for the double elimination. You sucked last night, show.

I'm sorry - what??? This was stadium anthem night? Woulda never known, as none of them actually selected a stadium anthem to sing. Hated to see Quentin go. He was the only one who was even in the least bit interesting. Photos of the rest can be found in the dictionary as examples of what "meh" means.

Maybe I've just been watching too long. It all looks the same. 1. Riker and Allison dancing at top speed, regardless of the dance style 2. Robert and Kym, bravely making a go of it, with Robert always two beats behind 3. Nastia and Derek, with Derek figuratively and now literally phoning it in 4. Bachelor Chris lunking around the dance floor 5. Rumer and Val doing basically the same cha-cha/samba/salsa 6. Willow and Mark, trying to do theme night every night 7. Noah and Sharna, with Sharna frantically dancing around him while he wobbles back and forth Bring back real, authentic ballroom. Lose the jazz, modern, Bollywood and all other non-traditional ballroom style dances.

I don't really see Riker as a ringer, simply because he's just not that good. And if they really wanted him to win, he certainly wouldn't have been paired with Allison. There have been a few ringers on the show. Aside the randomness of Maks being tossed a bone in the form of Meryl and Witney getting Alfonso likely by reason of being as small as he is, there really is only one that seems to get the regular ringer-type celebs. No need holding one's breath to eventually see him saddled with a Patti, a Cloris, a Valerie, a Nancy Grace or a Kate Gosslin. That's when the rubber will meet the road. Or we'll see dances in a smoke filled, pitch black dark studio, standing in a refrigerator box.

Wow. That was just painful last night. While Kelly has never really been my favorite, it was glaringly, sadly obvious how far this show has fallen since the early days. It reminds me of Lola, the fomer showgirl, sitting at the bar in her ratty old yellow feather costume. Purple hair was probably the best of the night and her voice grates like fingernails on a chalkboard. The rest ranged from forgettable to just plain bad. And what were they all wearing? Did they fire the stylists in an effort to save money? Purple hair's red dress looked like something she made in Home-Ec and those white culottes - oy. Here's my take on why they took every single upbeat KC song and dumbed it down to a draggy ballad. None of them have the vocal ability to even come close to hitting any of the notes that KC does. The ones that tried sounded thin, weak, tinny and off key. I think that the term "Making it their own" is code for "Making it a song that is singable by a marginally talented singer". Speaking of code, is laryingitis the new term for the voice changing that occurs during puberty?

Well, they managed to make it all the way to week 3 before starting the tongue bathing of Derek. Boo-hoo. Poor pitiful baby. He travels allllll the time, ya'll. He's so darned busy that he can't possibly devote more than a day or so, but he comes jitterbugging in as some sort of conquering hero. Please. Sure, Nastia knows the dance. She's well versed on choreography and she's had plenty of practice during the week. I heard the strands of a million tiny vioilins, playing just for him. Rumer - underscored. Riker - overscored. The rest were passable, even bachelor dude. Michael is getting lost in the shuffle and I hate that. Bruno was absolutely out of line with what he said to Charlotte. Yeah, we all know she's not the brightest bulb in the light fixture, but no need for that pot to be calling the kettle black on national tv.

This season confuses me. I'll admit that it's also so boring that I often forget it's on. Last night, I watched and came away shaking my head. Is there really no talent left in Ameriker? Are the talented kids just not auditioning for AI? Or are the judges so completely tone deaf that they eliminate actual talent in favor of what's currently on stage? I caught a few of the auditions and there were a few kids with decent talent. Yet, along the way, those kids got cut. We are left with a kid that looks and sounds like he's eight years old, a couple of girls who do something up there that cannot be considered singing, forgettable boys and one or two that still think powerhouse vocals are relevant today. Last night was just plain awful and this was an improvement over a week where one boy sang "Danger Zone" like a Vegas lounge act. The kid singing the Phil Collins song was about the best of the pack and even he wasn't all that good. It went downhill on a 90 degree trajectory after that. Let's face it. We have a season of kids who make us wish for a Taylor Hicks or Lee Dewyze.

While Nastia was technically near perfect, she's just not really "there" in terms of feeling the dance. They were definitely going through the motions and to me, didn't connect at all. And, she looks older than Suzanne. Too bad Henry is the one doing all of the work and getting no real credit. Very sweet moment with Noah and his girl. He was genuinely surprised. Forget dance. Just stand there and allow us to admire what has to be the world's most perfect set of abs. Yum. Bachelor was just a non entity. I would have been perfectly happy to see him go instead of Redfoo, who greatly entertained me. It was nice that Keo didn't get the first boot twice in a row. While I'm of the opinion that we as a society us the term "bully" a little too loosely sometimes, I have defintely seen some really ugly stuff written about Charlotte. The 'net gives a lot of false courage and people can say some mighty cruel things. No one wants to read things like that about themselves. I love Michael and his sweet smile. He's not quite a dancer yet, but maybe Peta can work a miracle or two. Willow is adorable and did a great job on her tango. Mark has done well with her. The very definition of awesome is Patti LaBelle dancing to 50 Cent and In da club. Too bad every second word had to be bleeped out! Could she do that every single week to close the show? Riker wasn't bad. He's a good dancer and seems to also be a good sport. That foxtrot was too frantic though.

I'm sure I'm in the minority, but I wasn't all that impressed with Nastia. As typical of the past few seasons, her partner has been cruising along with the same old tired tricks of "hope you don't see" lifts and props to hide bad footwork. She would have been better served by getting a pro who had even a fleeting interest in seeing her do well and not so much about him getting to the finals. One could hope that there are others like me who are tired of seeing the same pro get the season's anticipated "ringer" each time and will cast their votes accordingly.

share the protective headgear. I liked Redfoo also! I liked the fact that Charlotte messed up, but just kept on trucking along. Didn't seem to get in her head and just freeze her up. Admirable, and something that a lot of other better dancers weren't able to do. Don't get me wrong - she was pretty bad as compared to the rest. But certainly not even in the top 25 for worst over the past seasons. Derek cannot get off of my television screen fast enough. It would be like a birthday, lottery win, Christmas and a big Easter basket all rolled into one if he was a "surprise" first week boot.

Well, no one was really painfully awful. I'll say it. Noah has great courage, but I wasn't wild about that dance. But he's smoking hot. Maybe Artem is now taking over as pusher of the elderly lady. Patti did a lovely job, but I'm not sure what's going to happen to her when the dances get slightly active. Oh Tony. No. Just...no. Nastia didn't blow me away with her mad dance skillz. Once again, her partner is phoning it in from the next county over. And why does she look like a 50 year old woman? I love Michael Sam, the shark guy and Redfoo. Charisma for miles. And Willow was very cute. Good job Mark - age appropriate.

The pro choices confuse me. It *is* the big anniversary show and would have been a great chance to bring back some long absent popular pros like Kym for a "one season only" kind of gig. All-starish. Pros like Anna, Tristan, Chelsie, Edyta, Louis. Yeah, I know that it was a bad ending for Edyta and the show, but wouldn't this have been a good excuse to kiss and make up for a few weeks? Couldn't they have ($$) convinced Cheryl, Karina and Maks to stay one more season? Instead, we have Allison. Maybe I'm old school and am growing very weary of the gimmicks and theme weeks. Bring back ballroom dancing!

I'm confused. Aren't these people the ones who are simply obsessed with things like good manners, class, dignity and breeding? If that's the case, then what was up with the quite public display of tasteless class by Larry? Aren't insults best served behind the back of the target or carefully cloaked in a way that the insultee would be too dense to comprehend? It just seemed so out of character for the hoity toity of society to be so nasty to one's face. So tired of Anna and Bates, who used to be favorites. Also tired of Baxter, who wanders around with the oddest expression on her face. They seem to so want her to be a mischief maker but it's failing miserably. And I'll just go ahead and say it. Daisy is a bitch. At first, one hoped that it was because she was young and would grow out of that surly attitude. Nope. She's nastier than ever. Educate yourself Daisy, and get the hell out of Downton. Molesley is wasting his time being nice to her. She's incapable of appreciating it. Not sure what I think about Cora's hairbrained plot to bring Marigold back from London. The whole thing was just off. The magazine went without an editor for the years that Gregson was gone. Then, Edith got there and in less than 24 hours was the long respected (and staff protected) owner. She worries about it failing if she goes to America, yet it managed to plod along for all but about six hours without her or Gregson for the years he's been gone. Mabel Lane Fox is cute. Not sure why she worked so hard to get Tony back. One would think she'd have more boyfriends than she knew what to do with. He's not that big of a prize. Yeah, that was a complete DUH moment when Atticus offered up the most inspired suggestion that perhaps Edith, who fled to London, might possibly be at the magazine she inherited. He's cute. Rose is cute. No reason to make it much more complicated than that and I'd be perfectly fine with them riding off into the sunset. She is a total Cousin Oliver and I've still not figured out what she actually adds, other than *insert younger girl into scene to replace the Sybil character* mention on the script.

Riding sidesaddle looks to be the world's most uncomfortable and unnatural horseriding position ever. Not sure I'm a fan of Mary's new 'do. Especially that little pointy thing in the back. Regardless, it's an improvement over the marcel waves sported by Edith and Cora and the mop of Shirly Temple curls ala Mable Lane Fox. Poor Tom. Those were some mighty ill fitting pants. In the quest to have them up around his armpits, wardrobe clearly forgot that something had to give when they were hitched up that high. I feel badly for Edith - she's finally gotten confirmation that her man isn't coming back. But aside from a visit or two to Downton a long time ago, the family really didn't know him well at all. That she would expect the household to go into mourning would be a bit much. And she herself did get all dolled up for dinner. Was she expecting that no one else would also? Yes, she's Marigold's mother. But I'm kind of putting the blame for this in the lap of farmer Drewe. Did he not trust his wife to know the truth? Or did he think so much of his lordship's family that he chose to keep their confidence over leveling with his wife? In any event, I'd be pissed beyond belief if I found out that my husband had known this all along and never felt me worthy of knowing. Too bad she couldn't call the police and report Marigold kidnapped.

I'm not a Rose fan. I mean, she's harmless and all, but I've just never seen the need for her presence. If they were so concerned about the loss of Sybil (aka - a young person), just recast the role. Don't bring in cousin Oliver. I was also not that big of a fan of the Matthew/Mary drama. Maybe it's because I find Michelle Dockery to be literally lifeless in that role. She conveys no emotion, so I never managed to get into the falling in love storyline. Fast forward - same with Tony G. Aside from telling Anna that he sucked in the sack, she conveyed no signal that she was excited/bored/sad/interested/disinterested/having fun/any other emotion. She was just reciting lines. And then Matthew pretty much goes to London for a few weeks and boom! Engaged to Lavinia, who pretty much decided to die on cue. It just wasn't the hopelessly romantic story that it should have been. Bring back the interesting guest stars. Cora surely has more interesting relatives in her closet than her mother and brother. Oh, and speaking of Cora, she totally led Bricker on. Had he not looked like a complete goober, I may or may not have been rooting for them to view some etchings.

While I agree with the general premise of the show - lose weight, get active, be healthy - they need to make it a realistic show. Yeah, it's amazing to see someone lose big numbers every week, normal healthy weight loss is about 2 pounds a week. Much less exciting. How many have gained their weight back? How few have kept it off? The other is that no one needs to excercise to the point of vomiting. Yeah, they need exercise. No arguments there. But the levels in which these people exercise are unsustainable. A work acquaintance was on the show serveral years ago. He readily admitted that once he left, he knew there was no way on earth he'd be able to keep up that pace and still actually manage to do things like hold a job. He still remained active, which was something he wasn't before going on the show, but not excercising hours and hours a day. While much less compelling, I'd like to see the show actually teach the people healthy habits to lose weight and still be active participants in their day to day lives.

At one point, it was pretty clear when talent sang and when it didn't. Like in the early days of Randy, Paula and Simon. And after the Adam Lambert season, the whole shebang started to die a painful death. Now, it's devolved into a veritable parade of coffee house singers (aka WGWG) with weirdly affected voices, girls who believe that screaming a song is totes the same as singing a song and the random folk who don cowboy boots and fancy themselves as "country". I didn't see anyone at all last night who should have been sent through, including Jerry Lee Lewis Jr. He was downright awful when he attempted a normal song. I know that the mission of Harry, Keith and JLo is to keep this sinking tugboat afloat, but sending through random people simply because they managed to not induce ear bleeding isn't the way to go.

Yay! Downton is back! Ms. Bunting can go away at any point. Tom just looks uncomfortable around her and she doesn't really bring anything of interest to the storyline. Rose can go away next. She's annoying. The kids age bit bothers me a little also. Sybbie is the oldest, yet she and George appear to be the same age, with Marigold not far behind. I think Marigold lived in Switzerland for a while, so I can see how she'd come to live with the Drewes a little older than an infant. But that should mean Sybbie and George would be older than what they appear to be on the show. Poor Edith. Does the girl ever get a minute of happiness? She's been sad-sacking around for over a decade now. Even her brief dalliance with Gregson was tainted with the notion that there was something sneaky and creepy about him. Did we ever find out why he was in Germany? If it was pre-1924, then it was a bit too early for there to be some Nazi-esqe plot, so what was he up to? Count me into the group who thinks Tony Gillingham is hot. Count me also into the group that is confused as to what he sees in Mary. While she's an attractive girl in real life, she's not the raving beauty that the show is desperately trying to imply. Is it because she's assumed to be "rich" by some of these suitors? The reality is that they are hanging onto the estate by little more than a thread, so it's not like they're a family using stacks of hundreds to light the fireplaces. And even if money were no object, it's not like new husband would inherit the house. That already is going to George.

I always thought Peta and James seemed slightly uncomfortable with the whole "showmance" angle, especially after what sounded suspiciously like a one night stand. By the end, they seemed to genuinely like each other, but not in a romantic way. Like someone else said, her win came with a married father of two that had the brother/sister/BFF dynamic going. And of course, one can't discount how far she got with Tommy this season. They were funny and cute together - not even the hint of anything romantic at all. Saying this as one who wishes fervently that Derek's last season was many seasons ago, I have to say that he never seems overly upset with the elimination. Maybe he's stayed in it long enough to make bank for the year and it's just not that big of a deal. He uses his pout-face and wealth of excuses if the judgery gives him a rare critique, but not so much with the viewing audience. Yes, he's well versed in playing the game. Did Mark ever go back and watch an episode of this show? Clearly he didn't, because it was glaringly obvious to anyone with the gift of sight that Sadie wasn't that talented. Yeah, cute young girl who loves herself some Jesus, but no where near the caliber of dancer that Alfonso or Janel is. Even Betheny was smoother. And if Mark somehow does think she was "robbed" of a win, then he had to have been counting on it being solely a popularity contest with no regard to actual dance skill. She should count herself as very fortunate that her winning personality got her that far.