Irritable

You guys. I loathe Ramona so intensely that I can’t even admit that Dorinda was being a hypocrite and deserved to be called out for it. When Ramona pretended to cry and was wailing about how terribly upset she was, I could only appreciate it when Dorinda condescendingly said, “You’ll be okay.” Ramona lost me even further when she told Leah, “Just agree with us!!! This is serious and you don’t GET it!” Go fuck yourself, Ramona, you’re the only one who wants to!

Shout out to the editors for cutting Pete out so thoroughly that it’s almost as if he doesn’t even exist on earth anymore.

It’s going to take more time for me to learn the new names. What a kick in the throat it must have been to be told the father of your 6 children who wouldn’t marry you over the course of over 22 years, is going to marry an ex-con he has never even met in person. His poor daughter. The kids are always so much smarter than their parents featured on this show. I forget now who said “patterins”, but it might be the same guy who has a lot of life aberrations. I enjoy the accidental new words that blossom on these episodes. Interesting that neither the girlfriend nor the mother of the man who lied to them both are actually mad at him about it. He thinks he can find some middle answer without having to choose which one to live with, but that’s not how geography works, my dude.

I feel like Amelia and Bennett’s wedding should have taken place outdoors - like at a Renaissance Festival, next to some horses and a juggler. That would help some of the human body smells disperse, at least, and if things got really bad there’s always the natural oils and soaps shoppe, where everyone could smear some patchouli oil under their noses. He mentioned he put on deodorant for a change, but I’m not sure he showered first. He can’t be bothered to brush his hair or wear clean socks. She may be cleaner, but doesn’t look it to me. I would not be shocked if her antiperspirant routine is that she rubs crystals on her pits. Her face didn’t look washed, but maybe it was just bad make-up. It’s one thing to look like you’ve just spent 3 days in bed binge-watching Netflix when you’re at home, but I thought everyone would try to look and smell their best at their own wedding. Feeling naive about that now! I’m pretty surprised that Bennett and Amelia already knew each other in some way that seems ... not ideal. On paper I really thought they seemed like an excellent match. If Karen isn’t nice to Miles, she’s going to really get a whooping on social media. He seems fantastic! I haven’t made up my mind about Woody, yet, but he seems too interested in being the center of attention. His type of energy would wear on me quickly. I wish Olivia had run away once she realized Brett’s friends and family couldn’t come up with anything good to say about him. Nothing but different forms of, “Brett’s a dick, try throwing food at him and get ready for a lot of frustrating conversations.” I’m feeling very good about this season so far, it seems a lot more interesting than last season.

Olivia sure drew the short straw. I think she might have been better paired with the quiet guy we haven’t seen much yet. He seems to be getting a weird one, too.

I am absolutely furious that this show isn’t on 3 days a week. There is clearly so much to cover with this fresh set of terrible decision makers. I am already morbidly fascinated with them all.

I thought Old Home Week would be more entertaining than this. The only part that interested me was seeing who spent thousands on the Coachella VIP Package, since we know it was cancelled, but I didn’t see who got it.

I have no problem with Yazan’s mother’s reaction because she is not stupid, she is seeing Brittany’s bullshit clearly, and she’s had it. Waiting a year, thinking she came to Jordan to finally marry their son only to find out no, just more excuses, and then to find out she has still done absolutely no research to learn about their culture, and see her bickering with Yazan in their home? Yeah, I get it. Yazan led his parents to believe she was converting, that she understood what her role would be, that she had agreed to give up her non-Muslim life, and as soon as his mom realized that was not the case, she said OH HAIL NO, and I’ll back her on that. Brittany could have said at any time over that year she refused to convert or comply with their rules and traditions. She thinks she is standing up for herself like a strong woman, but she’s actually just being a dick at this point, and that’s not even including the lie about her non-divorce. I can only imagine what his parents think of her twerking videos on social media - of course they want her to stop that nonsense if she’s going to be their daughter in law and bear their grandchildren. It shocks me more that they were ever willing to accept her based on what she has shown of herself. She’s not just non-conservative, she’s the polar opposite, and if she has a history of bedding old sugar daddies for cash and prizes, then the prostitution concern isn’t all that far off the mark. They aren’t going to make it, and I’m eager for them to just call it. I didn’t think Ari and her mother were being rude or elitist. They seemed to be trying to choose their words carefully to not hurt his feelings, but their points were all valid. Ari adores him, he’s trying so hard, and if it was just them and no baby, she could make it work. The baby changes everything and they really do have to be practical. I can’t wrap my mind around “we don’t refrigerate” as an accepted practice in 2020. If you have electricity, then why would you ever just choose to not have some form of refrigerator? Just a little one? Beyond my comprehension. Deavon handled that talk with Jihoon better than I would have. She was calm, concise, firm. Clearly she was very sad and hurt, and I wouldn’t have blamed her for cussing him out a little, but she seemed to finally understand that no matter how much Jihoon may want to be a better man, he just ... isn’t. Maybe he never will be. He can say all the right words a thousand times but he won’t even dip his toe into the water of actually doing anything that he promises. She’s got to cut him loose for real. I don’t know why Jenny is in a hurry to marry Sumit. He lives with her, they are hours away from his parents, they can be together all the time now, so I don’t see the big problem with waiting for the divorce process to complete as long as they have each other in every other way.

Maybe instead of over easy it’s more universal to say over light. I’ve heard it both ways, but for some reason over easy just sounds like it could have developed in American slang.

I guess my favorite part was when David insisted that he and Lana are definitely still engaged, but they are no longer together. Or maybe it was when David said the reason he used the pay site to talk to Lana and other women was to ensure he WASN’T being scammed. He is unbelievably dense, a total lost cause.

I’ll bet everyone who has ever had the misfortune of working with Lara in the past was watching this episode yelling, “SEE?!??? This is what I was telling you about, she’s IMPOSSIBLE!” Her parents must have taken encouraging her to stand up for herself way too far if she was already bucking up at her teachers in grade school. Basically, she admits she’s always been an asshole, but she’s trying to wrap it in paper that looks like “strong woman who takes no shit”. We all see through it, and I can’t imagine who, besides her parents, have ever found her obnoxious attitude to be endearing.

Lara is making my stomach hurt. I want her to get off the boat as soon it docks and keep walking. If I had to work with her I would have the hardest time not punching her in the throat. Sandy’s seething hatred for Hannah is going to make getting rid of Lara difficult, which is a shame. I am totally Team Hannah on this. Kiko seems like such a sweetheart. I’m glad Hannah was able to offer him the semi-save on forgetting the additional plate by implying it was due to the half-serving request. Malea seems to be doing a good job so far, and I like her clear communication.

That New Orleans officer does need a vacation, and I need a break from him, too. He’s SOOOOO sarcastic all the time, and has basically had it with everyone’s shit before he even speaks to them. I didn’t like the way he treated the people walking from the convenience store back to their motel. He actually said flat out that they don’t have the right to a courteous interaction with the police, but I disagree. They were never discourteous to him and he was a jerk from the second he stopped them from walking and minding their own damn business. I don’t know if he thinks he’s funny and clever, or if he’s acting out for the cameras like a kid would, but he needs to dial himself down several notches.

For me, the whole series was about people desperately wanting things they could either never have, or that they got and wish they hadn’t. So much unhappiness in every episode - it really drained me. I appreciated the unusual beauty and mystery, I was invested in many of the characters, but it left me with a sore heart. I wish the final episode had resolved the Enemies story. I need to know how George rowed back home with one arm, why the banished robot needed fire and to eat fish, and how the banished robot’s life was somehow supposed to be better with two arms. Nice sentiment, but it’s still completely alone forever.

That poor delivery guy that Adam was yelling at. Ugh, Adam is THE WORST. He did indicate on WWHL that he won’t be working on boats anymore after this, so that’s something. I’m still mystified as to why luxury yacht life is being combined with sailing when it causes the luxury items to be thrown around and broken. I think the two different types of experiences should be separated, and that it’s weird to put such an enormous yacht at such risk by making it a sailboat instead of just a motor vessel. Im tired of being subjected to Georgia’s affected style of singing. I don’t think this show is going to propel her into musical stardom.