[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

I just wanted to smack Valentin today, starting with that blatant lie that Charlotte loves Nina more than Lulu, and finishing with those crocodile tears of his faux innocence. And Nina fucking bought it wholesale like a giant idiot, despite the constant haze of shadiness surrounding everything involving Valentin. She's either an idiot, or she's willfully deluding herself because she's too attached to Valentin and Charlotte to admit he's a loser and walk away, and both of these possibilities are awful.

Finn: "What if Hayden never miscarried? What if she had the baby?" Hallelujah, a character with a functioning brain has been spotted in PC. God, I'd give anything for Alexis to help Finn find and fight for his daughter. They're the feel-good buddy pairing we need to see way more often.

Dear Show,

Oh, is Morgan still dead? Huh, you don't say.

With no love, 

Linny

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

I really hated that in the midst of her tears for Drew, Sam felt the need to apologize to Jason for breaking down in front of him. I know that's a minor point to criticize, but c'mon, her ex-husband and her daughter's father is dead, she should be able to feel sad without any flash of guilt that she's loved and lost a man other than Jason. And Jason, were he capable of approximating human emotions, should feel some sadness over Drew's death, too. Drew was his brother, after all, and even if his loss won't affect Jason personally, it will definitely affect Monica, Danny, Scout, and Jake, and that should matter to Jason. But instead, Drew's death is just another kink in Jason's investigation of Shiloh/Peter, and it's just another hiccup for poor downtrodden Sam to endure before getting arrested again.

And I'm really questioning whether Drew will even receive a proper memorial or if Sam crying and calling Drew "a good man"(unspoken end of that sentence: better than Jason) will suffice. I would not be surprised if the show just squeezes in Monica hanging a plaque in the crypt in between Jason's sleuthing and Carly cooing over Donna, before steamrolling into more Franco "Drew" drama like the real man never existed.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

Even though Cynthia Watros leaves a lot to be desired as an actress (that bug-eyed shit she pulls bothers me every time), I liked the way Nina was written today. She didn't hesitate in shutting down Valentin's lies, she defended herself without Jax's aid, and she removed herself from the situation pretty quickly and efficiently. That parting shot, that she knew Valentin didn't have much of anything going for him outside of her, was cold as ice and brutal in its accuracy.

I'm prepared to walk back my feelings for Nina if she chooses to believe Sasha's story of Valentin's innocence, however. I think Sasha's dumb to compound her existing lie with a brand new one, especially one in Valentin's favor, as he's not deserving of her protection, and it certainly doesn't help Nina to push her back to the source of the deceit. I'm hoping it's misdirection and Nina won't actually believe Sasha, since the show is teasing Nina and Jax and that can't get liftoff if Valentin is forgiven.

I was for sure not expecting Ava to show up at Nina's desk with a conciliatory bottle of booze, and I think that was a nicer gesture than Nina deserves, given their history, but I didn't exactly hate it. Ava rising above her past with Nina in solidarity as women burned by a lying man works for me. Nina could use a companion outside of the Crimson group, and God knows Ava needs one less person ready to sic the attack dogs on her, so I wouldn't mind if they buried the hatchet. 

And wow, who knew I had so many thoughts on Nina, lol. Happy Friday, guys!

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

I thought my eyes were going to roll out of my head when Kim pouted that she "didn't fault" Liz for loving her husband, but Franco was gone, and Kim shouldn't have to lose Drew, too, for the second time. As if she ever truly had Drew to begin with. A brief, whirlwind fling, while obviously emotionally significant to Kim, cannot be compared to Liz and Franco's multiple years together, their legal (and still valid) union, and the family they made with Liz's kids. If the show wants the audience to root for Kim, or at the very least find her argument compelling, then they REALLY need to ease up on Kim's attitude of entitled superiority.

Sonny, describing Peter, while in the company of Jason and Sam: "That's the way the guy works. He's always in the proximity to a crime but it's never his fault." This line is so perfect, I don't even need to elaborate on it. Let's just bask in the sweet, shameless sanctimony.

Of all the indignities befallen the Quartermaine family, seeing Monica cling to Franco in search of any wisps of her son inside of him is one of the worst. It's also very sad to me that no one is mourning or remembering the actual Drew, and instead all energies are rolling into this insane Franco battle, as if this memory transfer negates Drew's death. Drew was a good man who had close ties to so many people, and it's disrespectful to all but ignore his loss like it doesn't even matter.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

Today's GH that wasn't (but totally could've been):

Lulu: "I have something to say!"

Maxie's face: "Lulu, sit your ass down."

Liesl, internally: "What is this blonde gnat buzzing about now?"

Sasha, gulping: "Jeepers!"

Nina and Valentin: "You ruin this and we will GUT YOU like a fish, lady."

Lulu: "Donna Courtney Corinthos was born Monday, September 30th, 2019, at two in the afternoon...."

[S04.E02: A Girl from Arizona, Part 2]

Oh, man, Michael consoling and encouraging Eleanor during her meltdown was a thing of beauty. Vulnerability is such an important component of Michael and Eleanor's dynamic. We've seen it before when Eleanor and Michael met her mother, or when Michael shared with Eleanor the true extent of her relationship with Chidi, but the message here--that a girl from Arizona really is remarkable in her own right--defies Eleanor's biggest insecurity. She's always joked about being Arizona trash, always let that negatively define her, and now thanks to Michael, she can finally start to reframe that self-image. Michael, a demon, recognizes that the fallibility of human nature isn't a drawback. Sure, Eleanor's made plenty of mistakes, but every time she's kept on trucking, which is just the type of fortitude needed in an eternal afterlife. She's everything, exactly as she is.

And the backdrop of that scene--the crooked "That Was Your Life" sign, the applause indicator gently blinking--rounded the whole conversation out. Perfection.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

Laura and Kevin sleuthing their way around Wyndemere was equal parts unbelievable and fun, and they sure were adorably proud of themselves. I just want to know how Helena found the time to plant clues in a painting in between swapping Jason and Drew, engineering Charlotte's existence, etc. Is that kind of time management and foresight a skill I can learn or is it just a cool bonus of being evil?

Can't wait to see the next dumb evolution of "oh no, Finn, this finger painting is Aiden's" and "oh no, Finn, I'm cooing on the phone to my dog" in Hayden's repertoire of secret diverting. She's not coming across great, intentionally keeping a child and father separated just because she's scared to rock the boat. Also, just tell us the kid's name already so we can incorporate it into our discussion of badly named GH characters.

I would have nixxed every minute of sappy Jason/Carly/Michael talking about Donna (who is miraculously unscathed, as is her birthright as a Corinthos) in favor of more Jax and Liesl flirting in German. I don't know what I liked better, Jax charming the pants off Liesl or Nina's incredulous face in response, hee.

[S09.E22: Truth Hurts]

It irks me to no end that Kail is taking such obvious pleasure in shit-talking Javi and Lauren's relationship. We all watched Kail blubber and wail over Chris and his inability to commit and be faithful, and yet here Kail is, reveling in a someone else's similar pain. What goes down between Javi and Lauren isn't part of Kail's "story," there's no need for Kail's catty barbs and gossipy commentating.

The pride parade looked like a lot of fun and I was glad to see Chelsea and Cole involved the kids. Practicing advocacy and teaching that love comes in all forms is so important.

I got nothin' on Briana and her dull as fuck life except it was hilarious how she stared deadass at the camera and told Nova to tell Roxanne to stop smoking cigarettes. Looks like someone's aware of how many anti-smoking ads run on MTV during TM!

I've never cared for Victoria and I'm really not liking that this oopsy pregnancy will likely mean a greater presence for her on the show. I'd tolerate Leah and Jeremy times a thousand before I'd accept more of dopey Victoria's sloppy life.

Jade is someone who I think is fundamentally a decent person, but has spent her life surrounded by addicts and doesn't have any role models to steer her towards a stable adulthood. Her mom has clearly been winging it through life with little success, Sean is a toxic mess all the way around, and Jade is overwhelmed and directionless. She desperately needs to take a giant step back from both her mom and Sean and find a new path forward that doesn't revolve around reacting to their drama.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

It seems so stupid to make Hayden say that it's hard to watch the man you love plan a future with someone else when Anna dipped five minutes after she and Finn got engaged, has not breathed the same air as Hayden even once, and the only relationship Hayden's witnessed is Finn's with his phone. Anna's absence has gone on so long that I'm kinda at the point where I wouldn't mind if Hayden's fantasy became reality, for at least something would be happening other than these repetitive, stilted scenes.

Somebody nudge me when Jason via Spinelli proves that the damning audio of Sam is fake, Daisy is forced to apologize and renounce the name of evil Shiloh, Sam is relieved of the horrible indignity of a jail cell, and Diane does yet another victory lap. Until then, I'm gonna nap.

I really dislike how both Terry (good to see her, btw) and Julian are acting like Kim's behavior can be attributed to losing Oscar, when I'm not convinced that's the case. After Kim admitted to harboring feelings for Drew after all these years, even at the detriment of other potential relationships, it seems clear that her attachment to him and idolization of their relationship is obsessive and unhealthy. Kim's grief may make her more inclined to cling to the security Franco offers, but it's not a pass for her shitty treatment of Julian and Liz and her utter disregard for anyone's feelings but her own.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

Donna? It's a girl, and they went with DONNA? Look, if the show wants to pay tribute to one of their own, that's fine, but the name came out of nowhere and doesn't fit with the rest of the family. Nice sentiment, bad execution. Anyway, I've decided that to me, this name is just poking fun of Sonny being The Don (allegedly) and Carly being a prima donna (most definitely), mixed with the fact that the children on this show invariably have terrible* names (looking at Rocco and Wiley, here). 

Adorable, if giant, baby though. Can't believe how tame this delivery turned out. You'd almost think Carly and Sonny were normal everyday parents instead of hideous assholes, or something. I'm sure that impression will clear soon enough, especially with Nelle lurking around, looking to get sprung (and if this stint amounts to nothing, then they need to stop leaving the key under the mat for Chloe Lanier).

*Apologies to any Donna who may be reading this. You are undoubtedly a lovely person with wonderful qualities, chiefly that you are not related to Sonny and Carly.

[S04.E01: A Girl from Arizona]

This seemed slightly...aimless? Like we just treaded water and didn't really get anywhere. Way too much time spent talking about the obvious demon disguised as Linda (Bad Janet's right, Eleanor's slipping if she didn't clock that from the get-go) and way too much Derek/Jason rivalry (though I did get a kick from seeing Mindy, as always). I wanted a little more from Eleanor and Chidi than just her worry over him bonding with Simone, especially since that went nowhere in this episode. Maybe I should just be patient and have faith that things will pick up in the forthcoming episodes.

All that being said, there were some genuinely great things in this one. Brent annoying everyone by spewing knowledge from the privileged douche's playbook, Simone singing Semi-Charmed Life, and Tahani name dropping Robert Downey Jr. within the first three minutes of the episode were all highlights. Tahani just wouldn't be able to bear it if Michael got a goatee, too, hee!

This was a good episode for Eleanor, too, with her attempts at team-leading and her muttered complaints about Michael. Interesting that she was able to put aside her misgivings over introducing Chidi and Simone for the greater good but was so quick to assert her territory when the judge got a little too thirsty for Chidi. I love that no matter how much she's matured, there's still roots of her trashbag Arizona upbringing poking out from time to time. And how good did Eleanor look in her SVU pantsuit and her cocktail dress? I really like seeing Eleanor in this new position of authority, where instead of reacting to each new revelation, she now knows exactly what the score is and can craft a strategy accordingly.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

Sam's explanation that she shot Shiloh not just to save Jason, but to avenge all the women Shiloh harmed would have been SO much more impactful if she didn't conduct herself with all the energy of a deflated balloon. Seriously, this man terrorized her and her family for months, shooting him should create feelings of relief and triumph mixed in with an overall anger and tiredness from the whole ordeal. Instead of this being a moment of power for Sam, it's used as an opportunity for Jason once again to worry over her and to counsel her that "it's never easy to pull the trigger" (cram it, Stone Cold). I guess it's too much to ask for Sam to stand on her own two feet without Jason holding her hand and coaching her through it.

On the plus side, I did like how Willow approached identifying Shiloh's body: not with fear, but with resolution to see his end for herself. And Shiloh wailing and thrashing off the side of the boat was so spectacular I laughed until I almost choked on my gum, so props to the actor for giving that death scene some fun and dimension. It's nice that at least some of the cast care to turn in a performance worthy of their paycheck.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

Carly's baby needs to hurry up and be born already so it can go into sequester like all the others (though luckily this one won't be a tenant at Monica's Group Home for Invisible Kids) and I won't have to remember it exists until Carly and Sonny dance the divorce tango again. No one cares about this baby, least of all its father. Move. On. (And please get Carly out of that ugly dress, too.)

I wanted Julian to go WAY harder with his anger at Kim, though renouncing the name Charlie was a nice twist of the knife, given that was about the single most intimate detail Kim ever offered Julian. Didn't like how he cited Kim's grief and also talked down about himself, as if any amount of grief or anything he did in the past justifies his partner stomping all over their relationship and his feelings.

Round of applause for our super savvy P.I. who chose, after receiving what was obviously a distress call from a kid, NOT to call the cops or seek any assistance but to instead go bumbling into the situation blindly, hollering all the while. JESUS. That is a straight-up Lulu move, Sam, be ashamed.

[Downton Abbey (2019)]

I think I had a smile on my face for pretty much the entirety of this movie. Downton always impressed me with its ability to fully embody every inch of its landscape with authenticity; I could watch an episode and forget that these are modern actors existing in the same world as me. It felt really good to once again slip back in time.

It was great to get a more complete resolution for Tom, since the last season of the show shortchanged him quite a bit. Lucy was lovely, and I would have enjoyed seeing even more of them together. Entwining Tom's politics with his devotion to the Crawleys was a nice nod to his history.

I adored the staff overthrowing their usurpers, no matter how improbable it may be. After seasons of heartbreak between Anna and Bates, strife between kitchen maids, etc., I appreciated everyone uniting for the dignity of their service.

Violet and Mary's conversation was probably my favorite part, and was absolutely necessary. Much as I may wish Violet could be an eternal pillar of pithy wit, she cannot. Downton has never shied away from showing the inevitability of change, both good and bad, and for these characters in 1927, we know plenty more change awaits them. More than just passing the reins to Mary, Violet solidified her faith in Mary's ability to stand tall, make decisions with composure, and bear any challenges before her with grace.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

Sonny's awfulness was at its prime today, bargaining Joss' place in his home in exchange for Dev. His hemming and hawing about just "thinking out loud" was utter bullshit. I'd almost feel sorry for Carly that Sonny would cast out her daughter in order to keep a random kid in a situation that clearly makes Carly uncomfortable, but y'know, she's chosen this dick over and over again, and he's only proving himself to be everything she's always known him to be.

Sam was working my nerves today, too, from the indignant look on her face when Shiloh described her relationship with his father to her snooty tone regarding Robert. Yes, Sam, the audacity of Robert warning Jason not to do anything illegal mere seconds before Jason confirms he will do said illegal act sure is something. Everyone knows Jason is a thug with no concern for the law, cool it with the umbrage. God, she sucks. 

Those Pentonville vans really don't have a good track record, do they? Just once I'd like there to be a more creative way for the criminals to run amok. It's so lazy to have the cops be so woefully inept that the bad guy can outmaneuver them without breaking a sweat. But Bobbie's probably glad to be featured in a story with more prominence than the tribulations of Scott's love life or her own diabetes diagnosis, so good for her, I guess? Whatever, I can't get too upset with this stupidity (saving my energy for Kim/Franco, sigh) so I'm just gonna roll with it. (And how sad is it that I'm evaluating which shitty story stinks slightly less than the other and is less deserving of my outrage? This show, I swear.)

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

Liz's slap definitely should've been ten times harder today. Kim's character is completely obliterated now. She avoided any accountability for the damage to Liz's marriage (not just the sex, but encouraging Franco to relive Drew's memories and completely cut Liz out of the equation) and she ditched Julian via letter, thus avoiding any fallout for her actions with him. So she's selfish AND a coward AND totally callous, on top of being delusional enough to believe she and "Drew" will live happily ever after (of the myriad of obstacles facing them, chief among them is Franco's marriage to Liz, which is still valid no matter what he calls himself). What do they do with this character who's burning bridges left and right without a single backwards glance? None of this feels good.

The only thing I have to root for here is for Franco to come back (words I never thought I'd say, yet here we are) and for Kim to reap the destruction she's sewn, mainly with Julian. He's given her SO MANY chances, but no amount of grief or confused and conflicting emotions can excuse what Kim's done.

[S09.E20: Welcome to the Jungle]

Oh, Devoin. It doesn't suck that you "happened to be drunk" during your time with Nova. It sucks that you CHOSE to get drunk while your daughter was in your care. After hearing that bullshit explanation of what happened, I don't blame Briana one bit for wanting to distance Nova from him. If he can't take responsibility for himself, he can't be responsible for a kid.

Chelsea and Cole have decided that since Jenelle and David are no longer on the show, they're going to step up and provide the audience with a new Land experience, now with 100% less swamp. That area really was beautiful, I can see why Chelsea fell in love. It's nice that Chelsea's segments this episode were drama free, as I really do root for her and want the best for her family.

Bypassing Leah's hand-wringing over Jeremy and Addie to focus on what's really important: everyone on that Costa Rica trip laughing their asses off at Kail eating shit during white water rafting. That was fucking SPECTACULAR (and I've said this before, but I appreciate Kail's ability to laugh at herself).

Jade and Sean could not be any more unhappy together. They just have no idea what healthy communication looks like. She gives him grief over pretty much everything, it seems, and Sean snaps back immediately with his own insults, and the situation is blown entirely out of proportion. Jade implied to her cousin that she couldn't walk away from Sean because of Kloie, and that is understandable but sad reasoning. A baby is NOT a reliable foundation for a relationship. It's a huge bond, for sure, but it won't make two people suddenly compatible, and Jade and Sean will have to learn that the hard way.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

The juxtaposition of Franco and Kim in bed as Julian told Brad he would never do anything to betray Kim's faith in him was a real punch to the gut. For Kim to lie there and list all the ways Julian changed for her and yet still cuddle into Franco like none of it matters makes me so angry on Julian's behalf. Even if I bought what the show is selling, that Kim and FrankenDrew are a love that can't be stopped, that would still not be enough justification for Kim to backstab Julian AND Liz in one fell swoop. It actually makes it worse that Kim is admitting that what she's doing with FrankenDrew will hurt multiple people, because knowing it's wrong and continuing to do it is the height of entitlement. 

Kim spent years building up a relationship in her head as the be all, end all, only to find the real Drew and be confronted with his romantic indifference for her. Now he's gone, and she's settling for a bastardized version of Drew because it feels good, and it feels like validation for everything she romanticized for the last 16 years. What Kim's doing with Franco isn't healthy, and it isn't real, and it's a shame the show is presenting it as a continuation of true love when it's really an obsession she's clinging to at the expense of everything else.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

It delights me to see Liesl hanging around Sasha basically just to remind Valentin that not only does she know all his secrets, she's also judging the fuck out of his and Sasha's sloppy handling of things. I have to think Valentin didn't vet Sasha for anything other than her looks, as she seems really ill-equipped to run a long con. If Sasha can't endure Michael's gentle wheedling for info without spilling the beans, then she'd never manage being in the public eye as a model.

Lordy, how many more times are we going to see Julian shuffle his feet and insist that he and Kim are ready to move, any second now, sure thing, and no, Brad, Liesl's dead body will NOT be left behind as a keepsake? Regardless, Julian's conversation with Alexis was actually pretty nice. It's appropriate for each of them to regard their relationship  as a huge, defining aspect of their lives, while still knowing they're can't turn back time and reclaim what they once shared.

What kind of a Friday cliffhanger, y'all. Laura about to walk in on Lulu getting busy and Curtis receiving yet another uncomfortable memory associated with the Haunted Star. I really hope it was Nikolas skulking around the boat; spying on his sister before she gets laid doesn't seem great, but actually is quite mild on the Cassadine scale of familial weirdness, so.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

Jax pitching the Aurora offer to Sam today immediately raised my hackles, because NO. After Sam dropped Aurora (and Drew) like a hot potato and endlessly bemoaned how stifling she considered it, I have no desire to see her involved with the company in any way, even if it were for Scout's benefit. Scout's gonna be just fine anyway, Monica will no doubt see sure of that, so hopefully we won't have to see Sam sleepwalking her way around Aurora like she gives a damn.

I didn't like that Liz and Sam's discussion had little to do with worry or mourning over Drew and was much more about Franco. Even if Sam doesn't deem Franco worthy of Drew's mission to retrieve Andre, Drew clearly felt differently, and Sam really should not be undermining the last act of a (presumably) dead man. And telling Liz, who is effectively Franco's widow for the time being, that she's happy he's gone and Liz should accept it and move on is tacky as all hell. Sam isn't obligated to forgive Franco and she's entitled to any private thoughts about him, but trashing him to Liz's face under these circumstances is not cool. And I don't think Sam's attitude can be chalked up to misplaced anger over Drew's condition, I think the show just couldn't pass up the opportunity to pit Liz and Sam against each other for the nth time, and that took precedence over real grief for Drew.

[S09.E19: Hey Girl Hey]

I feel like Chelsea's anxiety stems from a mixture of the stresses of having two babies in quick succession, the insecurity created from the home burglary, and a general inability to take care of herself. She's always relied heavily on Randy and now Cole and never had to be self-sufficient. Now she's battling something no one but her can solve, and I'm sure that's disorienting for her. Therapy would be an excellent option for her, I hope she takes it.

I was glad to see that despite Jeremy and Leah's carefree, childless weekend in NYC, Leah is aware that they have to be responsible and not jerk Addie around. Nothing between them will ever be casual when their daughter is stuck in the middle.

Kail kept emphasizing that this vacation she was flying solo without help, and then we see her turning to production for assistance multiple times. And even with their aid, she still seemed totally overwhelmed, which kind of diminishes her "I'm a badass single mom" narrative.

I felt terrible watching Nova in the backseat as Briana drove a drunk Devoin home. It's hard to understand as a kid what's happening with an intoxicated parent; all you know is they're not themselves and that's scary. Briana needs to find a way of communicating to Nova because ignoring the issue will just be even more confusing to her.

Jade seems to have a lot of good things going for her, but her relationship with Sean ain't one of them. Even sober, his temper flares out of control easily, and Jade screaming back is accelerant to the blaze. She needs to make her baby her priority and avoid the toxicity that arises when she's with Sean.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

I came extremely close to muting Sonny and Carly's petty bickering today, though it would have meant missing Sonny's spectacular pot calling the kettle black "you're selfish" barb. Give me a break with the "we're fighting each other because we're terrified" nonsense. No, you're fighting because you're both absolute assholes, the end (and also reason number one why giving this couple another kid was a terrible, terrible idea).

Wyatt the PC Pioneer and that mention of Martina, Sonny's divorce lawyer belong alongside the llama from the Nurses' Ball as random things that didn't deserve a callback. I am all for history, but maybe we could reference things that are more significant and salient to the current stories instead of such trivial characters.

"So the only thing left of Drew are the memories implanted in Franco?" Actually, what's left of Drew is his daughter, not this proxy-Drew that has no relation to the real Drew and the man he's been since 2012. Whatever's in Franco's head is not representative of the man who was Monica's son, the man who loved Oscar and Scout with ferocity, the man who gave his friends and family his utmost loyalty. It is the memory of that man and his legacy that everyone who loved him should cling to, not the ghost of someone that none of them (minus Kim) ever knew.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

In today's installment of "Shut up, Sonny, you giant mush-mouth man-child," I honestly don't know how Jax attempts reasonable conversation with him instead of just clocking his ass to the floor and being done with it. No matter how petulant and pissy Sonny gets, Jax has EVERY RIGHT to question what goes on in his daughter's home. I'm shocked Carly actually went to bat for Jax and stood up to Sonny, though her Alexis/Kristina analogy should have used Ava/Avery instead, 'cause God knows if Ava pulled a fraction of the shit Sonny does he'd be calling for her public stoning.

Though slightly weird to see Alexis and Neil's date via flashbacks, it was still cute. I do wish Alexis had a friend other than Diane to share things with, as Diane is overall way too pushy and invasive for me. (Finn? Jax? Ned? Laura? Alexis needs a bigger social circle, is what I'm saying.)

Liesl on that elevator with Lucas, Michael, and Wiley with that shit-eating look on her face was priceless. It's about time that we got an actual good use of the show's incessant reminders that Michael is Wiley's dad. And now that we've reached this pinnacle, someone should just spill the beans already, because at the rate we're going, Wiley's gonna be old enough to run his own DNA test (and falsify the results so he can continue having some safe distance from the Corinthos) before the truth is out.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

"The man who did give [Oscar] his DNA, he doesn't remember anything...I'm way more Drew Cain than that guy ever was." Okay, this storyline is infuriating in a lot of ways, but this line right here is extra special. First of all, it's so insulting to imply that Drew doesn't have a true claim to his own identity or his SON just because he lost his memories. Second of all, it's not consistent with the show's own logic surrounding memory transfers that was established with Jason and Drew. Drew walking around with a head full of Jason's memories didn't actually make him Jason Morgan, and Franco spewing out glimpses of Drew's past doesn't make him Drew. It's so distasteful to see Franco's "Drew" speaking like he has any authority as Oscar's father or any claim to the name Drew Cain when really, he's nothing more than a time capsule of a man who no longer exists.

Thank God Trina was on hand to give Cam a hug after witnessing all that grossness between Kim and Franco. Kid is in desperate need of lots of hugs, and also a reprieve from navigating all the very adult drama that's surrounding him.

[Episode Discussion: TFGH]

Welp, my opinion of Kim just massively nosedived. It is BEYOND self-indulgent of her to have such an intimate conversation with a man she knows she has no claim to, and to share such personal details about Oscar to a man she knows isn't his father. Even if Franco is talking the right talk as "Drew" I don't understand how Kim looks at him and sees anything other than Liz's husband. And if she can't make that differentiation, then she should have walked away from Franco out of loyalty to her friend, who she knows wants nothing more than her husband back. Guess nothing matters more than the "passion," "tingling," and "butterflies" born from a three-month long relationship that ended more than a DECADE ago.

And poor Julian is, as always in this relationship, getting the short end of the stick. Kim blows hot and cold and does whatever she wants regardless of his feelings and he just takes it. I don't know when I became a fan of Julian but MAN could he do better than Kim.