[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

I only managed to see the last 20 minutes of today's episode but I feel confident it's justified to say: shut UP, Sam. Go mind your children or mope about Jason or hatch a new plan to extort your parole officer and leave Molly and Brando the hell alone. Molly can decide for herself how she wants to manage things and Brando has done literally nothing wrong here, which makes Sam throwing her weight around with him beyond tedious. And she'd eviscerate anyone who dared meddle in her and Jason's relationship in such a way, so again: zip it, lady. (Is it an UO to say Sam might bug me worse than Carly right now? She's dull and lame and the writing for her is simply dreadful, with no real redeeming qualities at all, IMO.)

[S07.E13: Lights Out]

This was SO good, and really epitomized what I love about Brooklyn Nine-Nine. They nail the humor of a chaotic, outlandish situation (Hitchcock and Scully racing to save the refrigerated goods from spoiling during a blackout is genius, and Charles' continued disdain for the police horse kills me), but that absurdity is always, always grounded by the genuine affection between the characters. Each of them contributing in their own unique way (that DANCE) to ease Amy's birthing experience was so lovely. These guys are a family, and it's so fitting that they greeted their newest member smack in the middle of their office. Welcome to the Nine-Nine, Mac, in all its crazy and heartfelt glory.

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

I haaaate Sasha and Chase's "sacrificing ourselves for the sake of the greater good" charade. Hate. It. There's absolutely no sensible reason for this to be happening. The issues they're pretending drove their relationships apart could have so easily been legit. Willow's preoccupation with Wiley, Sasha feeling pressured to take on a maternal role--those should have been REAL splinters for these couples. Seeing each of them having to balance their love for Wiley with their own self-interest and expectations for their future would have been so much more compelling to me than this forced martyrdom. Sasha and Chase falling on the sword to MAYBE help Wiley's cause is needless cruelty dressed up as kindness, and it sucks for all parties involved.

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

A lecture on fatherhood from the man who shot one son in the chest, murdered the biological father of his other son, and had sex and impregnated the woman his youngest son was in love with. Yes, Sonny, you're definitely qualified to teach Nikolas the ramifications of betraying the father-son connection. (Also, Spencer and Sonny talk or text EVERY night? Get a life, both of you.)

It was cute how pleased Ava was to be at a party hosted by Anna. I liked the set up of the party with characters flowing in and out of the scenes; it felt natural and it prevented any conversation (or Robert's didgeridoo playing) from lasting too long.

Charlotte putting a snake in the piñata is fucking ridiculous (how did Lulu, who transported Charlotte to the party, not question what was in that sack she was clutching? Where would Charlotte even GET the snake to begin with??) but I'm willing to overlook it if the snake bites someone worthy. (None of the kids, obviously, but Peter could stand to feel some pain and Willow certainly could use a legitimate reason to be overly upset, just sayin'.)

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

I hate that this "Willow has to marry Michael to save Wiley from Nelle!" stuff is making me take back all the shit I talked about the baby swap. 'Cause like, I'd gladly watch Brad pop antacids and have guilty furtive conversations with Julian instead of seeing Sasha, Michael, Willow and Chase twist themselves into knots to see who can be the most noble and self-sacrificing in the name of Wiley. It's dumb, it's not at all realistic, and in Willow's case, it's not healthy for her to be so emotionally invested in another woman's kid. Everyone's trying too hard to be pious in comparison to Nelle, and while she's awful in lots of ways, that doesn't negate her rights as Wiley's mom. And the surgery machinations by Team Michael only strengthened Nelle's case while hurting his, so really, they can pipe down about how monstrous she is when they aren't much better.

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

I absolutely loathe that Peter has successfully pinned his crimes on Liesl to the point that everyone who should have some degree of loyalty to her has essentially said "tough luck that you can't spell Liesl without 'lies,' the Hague is waiting for you." And obviously Liesl's reputation doesn't work in her favor here, but it KILLS me that those closest to her have so easily turned their backs on her and embraced Peter. Especially since in Maxie's case she directly witnessed Peter acting shady and carrying around large sums of cash, and those moments should be clicking for her now, if only the show would allow her to actually THINK instead of pout and cry.

There's no good reason for Dustin, a seemingly solid dude with his life in order, to repeatedly witness Lulu and Brook Lynn's vicious messiness and not wash his hands of them both. High school kids have more maturity and aplomb than these two smug twits.

Only on a soap could you have a character like Nina dramatically opine about her twisted past, including the crime of ripping a child from the womb, before cheesily dancing up a storm with Jax. I would like this pairing more if less time was devoted to Jax building up Nina with praise (Stop Making Jax a Prop for Complicated Women 2020).

[S07.E11: Valloweaster]

There's no victory so sweet I would willingly handle items that passed through the butts of Cheddar AND Scully. Reason #964 why I'll never be as badass as Rosa Diaz. Honestly, though, while I loved everyone's rabid (and rabbit!) fervor to win, there were some odd moments that didn't land for me at all (Amy hired a fake therapist to spy on Jake?). Still, the heist is a tradition I'm so glad the show has found a way to maintain.

And I know the show intended Bill's appearance here to just be a funny gag, but him progressing from normal in October to 100% haggard, life in pieces come April is so prescient it hurts.

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

Okay, was today's episode 75% padded with flashbacks in an attempt by the show to stretch out their remaining filmed original content? That's the only reason I can see for such an odd, nonlinear compilation of old clips involving Nelle. Whatever the thought process behind today's show, it was excruciating. It's also the first day in weeks GH has aired in its entirety during its live broadcast in my area, and I feel cheated that the episode was so bloated with boring shit I've already seen. They could have at least thrown in the scene of Carly freaking out at Nelle's baby shower to make things a little bit fun (Morgan LOVED penguins! Never forget). 

[S07.E09: Dillman]

I'm in awe of this episode for providing such snappy dialogue ("How do I look today?" "Bloated." "Thank you." / "Nobody likes a know-it-all." "You're married to one." / "Son of a bitch stole my bullhorn."), and for giving us some wonderful Jake/Charles friendship material (ultimately so supportive of each other!), all while Scully stood in the background with his face perfectly covered in red glitter. AMAZING. Talk about commitment to a gag, damn. 

And after all that, Jake is still no closer to being Holt's best detective (Leslie Hunt-Minkoff, WHO???).

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

Without seeing all of today's episode (due to the local news providing their daily briefing that Everything is Still Fucking Awful, Yo), all I can say is: what in the name of hell was Sam wearing? Is a sheer top, titties out what passes as appropriate wear for early morning P.I. business? The dressier clothes and more artful hairstyles she's been sporting lately have been a big miss for me, and are the newest in the list of petty grievances I hold against the character. Put on a sweater and stop giving Curtis an eyefull, please.

In total contrast, little Violet's unicorn top with the hair braided down the sleeve was adorable. She's easily the best part of this whole awkward Anna/Peter/Finn mess. Give this girl her mom back, show.

[S07.E08: The Takedown]

I can't state strongly enough how much I needed, at this precise moment in time, to watch Jake and Doug Judy put on colorful clothes (inspired by Cam Newton, hee!), hop a private plane to Miami, and sing karaoke. This duo is radiance personified, despite often coming down on opposite sides of the law. I really liked how Jake carried out the reverse heist and used it to his advantage to report the robbery, as there's no way it would be believable for Jake to let slide. And the fact that Doug KNEW that and anticipated it, and actually designed the whole situation for the exact purpose of weeding out his criminal friends and asking Jake to be his best man is just brilliant. Doug Judy and Jake Peralta forever, please and thank you.

And Trudy Judy is not only out of jail, but got her requisite fourteen butts. What a life she's living, man. She has to show back up for Doug's wedding. (Assuming we get to see the wedding, that is. It would honestly be cruel to deprive us of that experience, because as awesome as this episode was, now I'm gonna need to hear Jake's best man speech in full, show. Make it happen!)

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

WTF is up with Carly painting Ava as some sort of predator moving in on Trina? That's a rhetorical question; I know Carly will go to her grave shamelessly maligning her enemies. But calling Ava's relationship with Morgan (who was an ADULT and free to make his own choices) "inappropriate" and equating that relationship to Ava and Trina is all kinds of messed up. The lecherous implication of that whole conversation was needlessly slanderous and a total distortion of reality. Portia sucks for eating it up and not even attempting to give Ava a fair shot.

Cam and Trina, woo hoo! I liked the awkward kiss; they're teenagers with middling experience, in the middle of an emotional upheaval, so awkward fits the bill. They'll have plenty of time to refine things, I'm sure.

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

Hell of a time to be hearing Joss reluctantly accept homeschooling as her only option for now, pointing out the unfortunate lack of human contact. Trust us kid, we feel you. As for Carly, she is, as usual, so full of shit her eyes should turn brown. She shouldn't have to wait for Joss to "check in" when things get to be too much. Carly's whole job as a parent is to protect Joss from danger in the first place, not groom her to become accustomed to it.

Hopefully the one-two punch of Ava and Liz telling Nikolas his "I'm sorry" tour won't undo the damage he's caused will finally sink in with him. I'm pretty bored with his attitude and his moping and need something to change, otherwise what is the point of him being back?

I will never not be mad at the hypocrisy of Sonny slinking around town intimidating Julian or Brad for depriving him of a member of his family. You get what you give, dude, and there's no high ground for you here.

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

Damn, does Kelly Thiebaud have some friends in high places or what? Britt rolls back into town and five minutes later has her way with Julian, complete with extended sexy choreography. Talk about making the most of your time in PC, girl. Somebody in this town ought to be having some good old-fashioned fun for once.

Seems awfully uncharitable of Franco to not give Liesl's story of being framed any weight, given his own history and his own experience being framed by Ryan, but: okay!

I wish Jordan was played by a stronger actress and that TJ had been given much more prominence before setting up this Cyrus story. Harmony (and the implied threat to precious Willow) isn't a big draw here, here. Making Jordan a dirty cop likely means she's going to lower herself even further and turn to our friendly neighborhood mobsters to fix things for her, and we're stuck biding our time until then. 

[S06.E07: Under Pressure]

When I see Jazz sobbing into the camera about the pressure she feels to be perfect, I just want to give her a hug and tell her things don't have to be so hard. Everyone deals with insecurities, moments of feeling self-conscious, and the worry that our best effort won't be enough. Those struggles are natural and expected, especially for young adults Jazz's age on the cusp of the real world. But those struggles don't have to be debilitating like they are for Jazz, which I don't know if she fully rehers yet.

It is encouraging that she does seem to understand that her emotional responses are disproportionate to the situation. I assume that's what she meant by telling Deb that crying over the speech wasn't just "a moment," it was one in a string of such moments. I give Jazz credit for being honest with her family about how overwhelmed she is, though I don't think she intended to alarm them as much she did. The time crunch of revising her speech, fixing her cap, and dressing for graduation pretty much left her no choice but to ask for help. My fear is that acknowledgement of the issue doesn't correlate to resolving the issue, and that Jazz will continue to work herself into a tangle of stress and tears and accept that as normal for her, when it really shouldn't be.

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

Jason dismantling Anna's "Liesl did it" theory in one impassioned speech is the most enjoyment I've gotten out of him in ages (and that goes for SB, too, for going full-throttle there). Anna's unwillingness to think critically about Peter is very close to killing any esteem I've had for her. This goes beyond having faith and blind loyalty to Peter; it's a total disregard and twisting of logic to match her preferred reality of keeping Peter, Finn, and Violet happy and by her side.

Sam can still choke, though, for getting pouty that Diane interrupted her rendezvous with Jason and then making that judgy face while overhearing Sasha. Girl, worry about your own business and let Sasha mind hers. 

Neil and Alexis, yeeeesss! Yeah, I'm overlooking the host of complications between them for the time being, because as a fan of theirs since the beginning, this moment was a long time coming. And it was romantic and mature and sexy, so consider me pleased.

[S07.E06: Trying]

This one was a home run for me in every aspect. It cleverly advanced the timeline of the show to roughly align with its real time airing; it threaded multiple stories together into a seamless composite; and it demonstrated how there are both bad and good lessons to be learned from monotony. Sometimes you do the same thing over and over again because you're not sure how to stop (breeding 600 guinea pigs when all you really wanted was to care for the initial two). Sometimes having monotony imposed on us leads to noticing and appreciating nuance (learning Russian from the lady you see on the street every day). And sometimes monotony leads to frustration, when you get the same disappointing results each time.

It's important that Jake and Amy's struggle to conceive lead to an honest reassessment of how they should proceed. I really liked how Jake stressed that he and Amy are a family already, and that even if they don't get pregnant he'll be happy. By taking some of the pressure off themselves to perform, they can focus on the romance and connection that keeps them together. There's safety in the day to day monotony of life by knowing no matter what, you'll be okay with this person by your side.

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

And yet again, Ava can't win for losing. She did inadvertently offend Trina's mom by implying she's too busy for her kid, but that's not worthy of receiving such a cruel clapback. The way Ava described the wonder of seeing Kiki's lost potential thriving in Trina was actually very poignant. I hate that right out of the gate, this new character (does she have a first name? In my head she's still Whitney from Passions) is causing friction with Ava, who truly only had good intentions here.

Also, Nik's an ass for not even bothering to check on Ava. I admire how Liz doesn't even hesitate in reminding him of just how much he sucks right now. He's definitely hoping Franco and Ava spark and he'll best her in their postnupt agreement, which is a shitty thing to do to his best friend. 

Smug, conniving Peter combined with smug, woefully ignorant Anna. The coronavirus would be kinder. (Wash your hands and stay safe, guys.)

[S06.E06: Dragilicious]

This episode really cut to the heart of the issue of Jazz being ill-prepared to take on Harvard. If she can't handle a low-pressure situation like songwriting with her friend without fleeing the room to cry, then there's no way she's ready for a Harvard classroom. She's obviously overwhelmed and frustrated by her anxieties to such an extent that even Greg and Jeanette have to admit there's a problem, and I wish they'd push her to seek help. I know Jazz has previously been reluctant to see a therapist, but I really feel it would do wonders in teaching her coping strategies so her anxiety is at a manageable level. Closing herself off and pretending the issue isn't there is not sustainable.

I also tend to believe that Jazz's anxiety is compounded right now not just because of the expectation of greatness at Harvard that's been forced on her, but because of her fame in general. Having such a highly visible profile allowing the world to scrutinize her every action has to contribute to Jazz getting trapped in her head, wondering if she's saying or doing the right thing. I honestly feel like it's probably past time for her to step back from the show. Getting out of the mindset that sharing her story is pivotal and compulsory would likely be beneficial to her overall mental health.

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

So Taggert is dead but we're keeping Brando? The guy who took a bullet for Carly gets to stick around indefinitely on Sonny's dime and the man who took a bullet for his daughter doesn't survive to make it to her track meet next week? Sure feels like there's a deliberate parallel between the characters given the timeframe of them entering the show, their connections to two members of the teen scene, and their involvement in similar shoot outs. And surprise, surprise, it's Sonny's longtime enemy who bites the dust while Brando gets cozy on the couch with Carly, barf.

At least there was Laura's Boss Bitch act to appreciate today. She was strong, competent, and fearless in the face of Cyrus, and the show ought to give GF more opportunities to flex this side of Laura.

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

Oh, shit, Taggert. Somehow even though we've just established him as Trina's dad, him jumping into the line of fire to save her felt both momentous and devastating. It's certainly a more noble and sacrificial move than anything I've ever seen Sonny do, and he most definitely won't expect high praise for it either (assuming he lives, which, please?).

Real glad we got a five minute check-in on Lucas before cruising right back to Willow and Michael, whose thoughts and feelings just don't get enough airtime. Seriously, Willow and Michael's perspectives are important, but Lucas is getting outrageously shortchanged here. His marriage is ending! He's losing his son! Make him a priority!

I easily care more about Trina and Cam's relationship (friendship with the potential for more, hopefully) than I do 2/3 of the couples on this show. GH struck gold with these actors, who are confident without being pretentious and vulnerable enough to make the audience feel their pain and fears along with them.

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

Seems pretty rich to see Carly Corinthos, champion of the "Sonny will keep the kids safe" mantra, losing it over the bullet and the fact that the kids were threatened at school. If things are so dire that two teenagers are scared to let their backpacks out of their sight at school, then you're not doing your job as parents, period. Beef up security all you want, but normalizing them to fear and to always be looking over their shoulder is no way to live. Where's Jax during all this?

Two bright, ambitious adults such as Molly and TJ who have been together forever would absolutely have discussed marriage by now and know where they stand. It sucks to see TJ so clearly hurt and rejected, but at least they gave Molly a valid (albeit aggressively stated) reason for her saying no. Now we wait to see if marriage is a deal breaker for the relationship.

"KIDNAPPED. HELP." Hee, Cam, points for brevity, there. Liz immediately dialing up Jason was GH standard operating procedure, i.e. ridiculous nonsense. Law enforcement handling a single goddamned case without having their hands held by Jason and/or Sonny is an unimaginable feat, apparently.

[S06.E05: Communication Breakdown]

Jazz attempting to guilt trip her dad and brother into joining the drag show on the basis that they don't want to "let down Noelle" made me so frustrated with her. Sorry, but no, no one is letting down Noelle if the drag show doesn't happen. Noelle had no expectation of Jazz's family fundraising on her behalf. She didn't ask Jazz to take on such a project. She definitely was not comfortable with the concept of a drag show, something Jazz knew from the onset, and basically only consented out of politeness. If the show fails, the only one who's going to be disappointed is Jazz, for being incapable of snapping her fingers and making an entire event fall into place. I trust Jazz had the best of intentions here, but she should not have volunteered herself for such an undertaking if she wasn't prepared to expend the energy to see it through to completion.

My heart does go out to Jazz when it comes to her binge eating, however. My recovery from anorexia involved rebounding into binge eating, and Jazz's description of it as monster consuming her aligns exactly with my experience. It's really scary to feel so out control, powerless to stop yourself from doing something you know you shouldn't. I hope Jazz gets the help needed to curb her disordered eating patterns and to be the healthiest version of herself possible.

[Episode Discussion II: The TFGH]

I know I shouldn't dwell on the Carly stuff for my own sanity, but like, is her full time job stomping around her house in an ugly dress, bitching about anything and everything? Today was one of those rare occasions where I feel sorry for Sonny, trying and failing to put a check on Carly's controlling nature because she's incapable of leaving well enough alone. Even when she's "won," we STILL have to see her attempt to micromanage Lucas, Michael, and Nelle to bend to her will. Take a day off, lady, ffs. Maybe check in on baby Donna, who actually needs the attention you're giving everyone else?

Ava and Nik should just fast forward through the game they're playing on each other and Do It already. They're hot and they should be hot together, if only we make it through the "I hate you" foreplay.

Even though I love Chase, I'm glad it was Liz who found Willow at her baby's grave. As a mother, Liz can understand the depths of Willow's grief more fully than Chase, and her holding Willow through her tears was a quietly beautiful moment.

[S07.E04: The Jimmy Jab Games II]

They lured us in to Debbie's timid simpleton persona, with a murdered sister and an addiction to counting her steps and a severe food allergy, only to give us THAT ending? Well played, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, well played. Looking forward to learning her motivations and endgame.

This show is the absolute best at pulling on the strengths of the friendships of its characters, and Rosa and Holt stole the show here. I loved that Holt was immediately willing to put aside the competition to be there for Rosa, and that she allowed him to join her in her moment of vulnerability.

Jake's crisis of identity felt really relatable; it can be hard to mature and take on more responsibilities and not feel like the person you always were is eroding into the past. He wants fatherhood and stability without sacrificing all of the impetuous nature that defines him, and that's a totally valid viewpoint. Amy's a good partner for showing Jake that change doesn't have to be absolute, and that he doesn't have to face his worries without her at his side.