dubstepford wife

Hallmark's wigs always look like they come from Spirit Halloween. I'm working my way through the books that this series is based upon. I like them, they're actually pretty good. They're nice easy reads. I'll never understand why Hallmark feels the need to take books that include even the tiniest bit of actual adult storylines and completely blandify them. I will say this: I really like how they handled Abby and Trace's breakup. It felt like a very mature way to go about it, to actually acknowledge that you're different people as grownups than you were as teenagers and that sometimes people are in love with the idea of love. And I think I agree that Trace seems very goal-oriented, once he gets something (be it her, or success in music) he just moves on to the next goal. They've left the door open for him to come back in the future but I'd be very content to see this be the end of Trace. Team Jay.

I *loved* the hot teacher last season. Sweet, funny, and super cute. More of him, Hallmark, please and thank you. Yeah seriously, what is this, the third? fourth? series on this channel that has lost its male lead? Men must hate it there. That being said I think that Chesapeake didn't need Trace, I also didn't hate him but his character was kind of selfish and therefore fairly easy to root against. I just wish that for once Hallmark wasn't immediately like, "Oh no! A woman is single! Must find her a man NOW!"

I'm actually looking forward to the new season. Taking Trace out of the equation opens up a lot of possibilities. It's still Hallmark so I'm sure I'll be disappointed, but if nothing else, we'll finally get to move on from the endless Trabby drama of "will they or won't they." (I guess they won't!) And shallow note: I like Megan Ory's new hair. The choppy-lob-plus-bangs looks much better on her than it does on some other Hallmark leading ladies (cough cough...ErinKrakow...cough cough).

Possibly unpopular opinion but, I like Abigail single. She seems like she'd eventually get bored with her partners. If ever there were a sassy, sexy heroine on Hallmark who didn't need to be in a relationship to be fulfilled, it would be her. Though I'm sure the writers didn't anticipate being cancelled, this was just setting up drama for next season, which we now know isn't happening. I'm fairly sure though that we'll see another movie at some point, probably next year. There are too many loose threads. Maybe Grace or Nick would come back as well. Farewell, Good Witch. I probably won't watch reruns of the show but the movies are classics. And this way I can pretend Jake never died.

There's a constant revolving door of formerly famous actors who find themselves desperate for work so Hallmark probably could easily find some new blood. I don't know why they insist on using the same people over and over again. I know Hallmark/Lifetime movies are seen as a step down career-wise and are a definite sign that you're not A-list or even B-list anymore, but hey, a paycheck is a paycheck. But then again, when are these Christmas movies filmed? I know fake snow is a thing and all but are they really filmed in July? I think Alicia has at least a couple of months before she should panic about not appearing on the channel this winter.

I thought this too. This happens a lot on small town shows though -- whenever there's a crisis, everyone in town appears to help, regardless of what they were doing before. Is this weekend the last episode? I'm guessing we won't see Grace or Nick make a guest appearance for the series finale. That being said I wouldn't be surprised at all if next Halloween they do a movie and get the gang back together. It's too late for this year but I can't see them totally abandoning this universe. It's probably not profitable to do the show anymore but an occasional movie is relatively cheap to put together, especially on this network.

Some harsh reviews! You definitely have to turn your brain off with the timeline, because it makes no sense at all. Charmaine should definitely be showing a little bit, even if we are generous and say that she's maybe only two months along, when you'd still be fairly small. Jack recovers from flat-lining in the hospital to being fine in three weeks -- that's awfully quick. And my aforementioned comment about Brady suddenly having his own lumber company. I gathered as I watched the season that he inherited it from Calvin, who was just using it as a cover operation, and Brady is trying to make it legit, so I guess mayyyybe I can buy that. Maybe. My biggest timeline related gripe was Mel's insemination. I've never gone through IVF and I know they said in the course of the show that she already had two frozen embryos, but, don't you have to like, take hormones to prepare for insemination? Isn't there more than one appointment? And the whole source of conflict between Mel and Mark was that IVF wasn't working, which I guess implies that the baby is Jack's, but she also made it pretty clear that she thought she was infertile. So either Jack has magic sperm or IVF is apparently so simple you can do it on your lunch break. But that aside, I like it. I can't help it. It's all the scenic beauty and coziness of a Hallmark show mixed with actual adult plotlines. The Lumberjack Games were adorable, and I refuse to believe this fan theory that Bert is Calvin's secret spy employee. He's way too adorable. It's totally Jack's crazy cop friend. If anything they're making it too obvious.

It's been a long time coming. Hallmark really doesn't know how to write stories about anything other than couples falling in love. The show has been really, really boring and bad for quite some time. I'll miss Martha. She was the only reason I was watching. She was so over-the-top and absurd, but she was fun. Good Witch at one point was their highest rated show I believe. It's probably WCtH now but that one can't go on forever (though they might try!). We'll see what happens with Chesapeake Shores after Jesse Metcalfe leaves. I wonder if there are any more scripted series in the works, it seems like Hallmark is just becoming all Reba/Golden Girls.

I mean, it aired in Canada over six months ago, and it's airing on Up now in the States. At some point, the secret was going to get out. It's funny how we were discussing Amber Marshall aging poorly -- Kerry James is the new Tim, where his hair turned white practically overnight. He's still something of a silver fox and I know you can't help your genes, but still, dude is only 34.

I'm on episode three. So far it's much, much better than Season 2. They have the spark of Season 1 back. And whoever does the cinematography for this show deserves a raise, because every shot is just more beautiful than the last. So. much. pretty. scenery. I kind of like Brady's redemption arc, though it's a little weird how he suddenly has his own lumber company. Unless it's a witness protection thing, you don't go from a drug dealer to having your own lumber company in three weeks. One thing though: can someone please teach the older ladies on this show how to knit? This is the second time they feature a knitting circle where it's obvious no one has any idea what they're doing. Either teach them to knit, or drop the whole stereotypical "they're older so they must like knitting!" Signed, a knitter.

If you haven't already seen it, I highly recommend checking out Jen Lilley's IG, specifically this post. She's doing a fundraiser to help children in foster care, and she gets some help from many of the so-called "Hallmark Hunks." They're great sports about it. I think it's the wink at the end that gets me.

True, I exaggerated a bit. Though that's still comparatively cheap when measured against surf n' turf restaurants that charge you $50 and up ("market price") for fancier platters and fine dining-esque presentation.

I've never had Dungeness crab, only blue crabs from the Chesapeake, but I know with blue crabs they can be both upscale and blue collar, depending on how you serve them. Jumbo lump crab cakes at a fine dining restaurant can cost the same as a prime cut of steak, but you can also get a bushel of crabs steamed, covered in Old Bay, and served alongside hushpuppies, corn on the cob, and giant pitchers of cheap beer. So watching all the judges covered in crab juice, crunching away, licking their fingers and joking with each other about it, was something straight out of a little hole-in-the-wall crab shack along the bay and I loved it. I can see how it would gross some people out -- my brother in law is from upstate NY and he was horrified the first time we took him for crabs -- but I probably would have loved Dawn's dish if I had been there. I think lobster is the same way too. A fancy lobster tail is mega expensive, but you can also get lobster rolls in tiny fishing towns in Massachusetts or Maine for just a few bucks. I guess the point I'm making is, ingredients don't have to be fancy or not fancy, it's all in how you prepare them, and both ways are equally valid and delicious.

As a native Marylander who grew up crabbing by the Chesapeake Bay, I was laughing hysterically as they were catching the crabs. Dungeness crabs must be smarter and/or tougher than Chesapeake crabs. To catch a Chesapeake crab you drop a three-walled metal cage in, then sit back with a beer and wait for them to walk into it. That's it. Edit: I should specify I'm saying this as a hobby crabber, not a professional. I'm sure the pros have to work a little harder than that.

Interesting! I was unaware of this. This actually explains his very sudden departure from Chesapeake Shores -- scheduling conflicts.

Time will tell, but I feel like Hallmark is phasing out Jesse Metcalfe (due to age? contract disputes? him being a diva? who knows), he used to be their go-to lead for anything even remotely Western or country themed. Maybe Tyler is going to take over the reins (no pun intended) as the reigning cowboy, with Kevin McGarry thrown in here and there because he looks great on a horse, and they're searching for various leading ladies for them. I don't listen to country so I know nothing about her, but I feel like casting singers in acting roles frequently does not work out well. Female country singers though, man do they all look the same. Country makes Hallmark look diverse by comparison.

I actually think getting blood on Nicole made some sense. The story is ambivalent about June at this point, she's become someone we're not exactly supposed to support, because she's using her pain for the purposes of revenge. Revenge doesn't always equal justice. In Fred's case it might have, but there's no way June's Revenge Tour is stopping with him. And getting blood on Nicole could be representative of how hatred can be passed down through generations and how it's our children who wind up suffering because of our wars. The thing I hated the most was the music. Yes, I know that song has been played in the show before, but holy crap was that heavy-handed. Feminist revenge fantasy set to the backdrop of "You Don't Own Me." We get it show. Men don't own women's bodies and rapists don't own their victims. And Fred dying should have been accompanied I think by either a sweeping score, or no music at all. It would have made it more dramatic and been more consistent with the anti-hero nature of June's deeds, where we're supposed to have mixed feelings about it. This, plus Emily's cheerful little "I wanna play too!" smile just cheapened it and made it seem like we're meant to laugh maniacally. Serena is the real villain at this point, and I think she always has been. It's a woman focused story and Serena, Aunt Lydia, and Janine all have lots of story left to tell. We didn't need Fred anymore.

All true. I think it had more to do with the styling of it, similar to how the women are styled. Like, the women are wearing ankle length skirts so that's accurate to the 1910s, just as Jack's jeans were technically accurate. But the jeans combined with the obviously modern button down, gelled hair, and the fact that they put mascara on him makes it look so modern, just as Elizabeth's mermaid waves and lack of corset make her look very modern. I realize though that pointing out historical inaccuracies in this show is beating your head against a cement wall. I just thought it was nice that Andrew Walker actually was sporting facial hair that isn't attractive by 21st century standards but was the height of manliness back then.

Nah, I just looked it up and it was Love, Fall, and Order that I was thinking of, from 2019. I had some details mixed up, it wasn't the farm itself that was in danger but her family's fall festival (taking place on her family's pumpkin patch, I think the pumpkins were also in danger?), and her name was Claire, not Autumn. I swear there was a fall harvest movie featuring a character named Autumn but I can't find it.

They definitely used to do "Autumn Harvest" or something like that which featured a movie or two, usually about a young-ish woman (named Autumn of course) from the city who comes back to the quaint small town where she grew up -- which looks like Balsam Hill's fall line threw up all over it -- to save her family's pumpkin patch from developers, one of whom happens to be a handsome guy with whom she has a meetcute and a series of misunderstandings, then falls in love with. Sound familiar? (yes this was an actual movie btw, it's not just me playing Hallmark Madlibs) At least they usually had cute cozy clothes and pretty foliage. I'm a sucker for all things fall so I'd always watch it, trite plot be damned.

People in the South, and especially Texas, do, but it doesn't sound right without the Southern accent (Darlin'). It's like when Americans address Queen Elizabeth as "Your Majesty," it just sounds weird when you don't have a British accent. My last "good" Hallmark movie (good being a relative term) was As Luck Would Have It.

I wonder how much of this has to do with syndication rights. Perhaps Golden Girls is the only thing they can afford and/or get exclusive rights to? Going the oldies route isn't a bad idea. Nick at Night when I was a kid would air stuff like The Munsters, I Love Lucy, The Rifleman, etc., 50s sitcoms and family shows. They don't do that anymore and to my knowledge, no one does. I bet that would make their over-60 demographic happy, and they're the majority of people watching during the day anyway.

I'm going to watch S5 but I have a feeling it'll be the last one I watch. I don't even like Trace all that much, he seemed very self-involved, but he, Abby, and Mick were indeed the only somewhat tolerable characters (minus his terrible hair). I guess I don't mind Bree at times, though it got really tedious to watch rehearsals of her play last season. Rehearsals just aren't all that interesting. Jess drives me bonkers. At this point I feel like I'm watching solely for the elaborate sunlit 7 AM breakfast buffets where everyone looks perfect. It's a nice escape from my house where we gulp down coffee and yell at each other and there's lots of scrambling to find socks.

Oh man, Andrew Walker! I totally forgot he was Billy! I like how he fully committed to actually looking period appropriate with his moustache. I look at pictures from the early 1900s and it seems like every man had a moustache. For all the criticism of the ladies mermaid waves the men don't look very period accurate either. I remember an episode where Jack was wearing jeans and a flannel shirt which, combined with his clean cut side parted hair meant he looked straight out of the L.L. Bean catalog. At least he wasn't wearing sneakers? The early days were so good. It's not on Netflix anymore but I feel like I'd enjoy watching season one and then would just stop.

So far there haven't been a ton of tangible changes that I've seen on the actual network. The movies are all pretty much the same as they were before, cliché plots and mostly dominated by white 30-somethings with middling acting skills. This past year's Christmas movies did show some hints of diversity, with the gay adoption plot, so I'll give them that, but they still have a long way to go. The scripted series are all pretty tired and played out but there's no indication of replacements for them. Is When Hope Calls getting a second season? Did it already have one? I haven't been following it. I don't know, for all the hints of major shakeups, it seems like it's still business as usual. And I completely agree, "Bubbly Sesh" plus a cartoon champagne flute sounds like something you'd see on a pillow at Home Goods that was on sale for $2.99.