WicketyWack

Possibly my favorite moment of the show: when they opened the scene at the diner (and Hector's first appearance on BCS) with the cook dinging the call bell.

It seems to me the dialogue in this series was based partly on truth, partly on speculation, and partly on Ryan Murphy’s love of dropping irony bombs into the storyline that play on collective hindsight. (See: Robert Kardashian teaching his younglings that Kardashians aren’t interested in pursuing fame, but in building character.) In this epi, it was Lance Ito saying "This trial needs to be pure truth school. Let them see all the available facts so they make the right decision.” And revealing he was chosen for his “strong backbone.” We now know, of course, the amount of evidence that Ito allowed to be withheld from the jury ... and that he was anything but demonstrative of a “strong backbone,” reversing even his own decisions under pressure. I was meh about Travolta’s performance as Shapiro until now … he sold it in this episode. I loved the almost imperceptible facial twitches in the elevator when hearing he should not be the one to speak to the press, and then in his outbursts in the judges’ chambers, to his wife, and when watching F. Lee Bailey backhandedly slam him on Larry King Live. At the time of the case, I was in my early 20s and as caught up in the trial as anyone, but never read Faye Resnick’s tell-all. I knew she was a shitty friend who threw Nicole under the bus for a big book advance, but back then there was no social media to deliver all the dirty details whether I wanted to know them or not. Now that I know them, damn, with friends like that who needs enemies? It’s baffling to me that Faye Resnick apparently still has close friends who would tell her anything. Nicole was young, gorgeous, and living in celebrity circles in L.A. … coke use, Brentwood hellos and tons of sex aren’t exactly shocking revelations. But it’s nothing her kids ever wanted or needed to know about their murdered mother, and there’s no way they haven’t read all that by now. I still agree that if they couldn’t make Cuba physically taller or bigger, at least cast bit players who are smaller and shorter than he is, and use camera angles and other tricks to make him appear taller. I mean, they’ve been doing that to Tom Cruise and other short actors for years — standing them on risers, putting them in shoes with lifts or platforms, or the other actors in trenches alongside him. Cuba should have worked with a voice coach to learn how to make his voice deeper. His “absolutely, 100 percent not guilty” sounded like a teenager squeaking out the words in contrast to OJ’s baritone. I’m still not buying him as OJ, other people apparently feel the same way, and it’s silly they didn’t take these relatively easy steps to make him more OJ-esque.

Ashley's first model walked like someone put stilettos on a 50-year-old trucker. Her collection was just as horrid as I feared. Speaking as a big girl, I'd much rather they had waited to anoint a plus-size designer who actually knows how to design for plus-sized women. That whole outcome was so condescending and insulting to bigger women. Here you go, ladies, here is a designer "for you," never mind that she doesn't address any of the issues that big girls face when choosing clothing. And never mind that the clothes are unfinished, amateurish and fucking glued together.

This episode has taught me something: that the area between the eyes is known as the "root" of the nose. I know this because of the horrid nose piercing of the 3D printing company director who introduced the challenge. It looked screamingly painful. I wasn't really sure if Merline was being serious or not when she said "I love living in a 3D world. I see things in 3D when I walk." Merline, honey? Reality is in 3D.

Was anyone else seriously distracted by Aube's big black panties ruining the look of those sheer side panels? Ashley joked about telling her not to wear underwear but a skin-toned thong would have been a million times better and less visible than black boyshorts.

I'm going to have to watch Road to the Runway (I usually skip it) so I can see the looks Ashley created pre-Runway that got her in this competition. Because after that "dress the crew" challenge I will never, ever believe that she actually knows how to design for an (*insert all the judges' clunky euphemisms for fat*) woman beyond being willing to sew garments in larger sizes. I am astonished at what Ashley created for the crew challenge. It seems that she doesn't have any sense of proportion or understanding that design trains the eye how to take in a look. Dressing A Large Woman 101: nothing too tight or too baggy, nothing that breaks the look up into sections, downplay the trouble spots while playing up the places where you want the eye to go. She did exactly the opposite: baggy bodice, tight skirt, hideous double-ruffled peplum that bulked up the client around the middle. The only type of figure that benefits from a peplum is a stick-straight, thin woman who wants a curvier appearance so you add extra fabric there to give the illusion of hips. I automatically assumed Ashley had certain types of garment down pat that she knows work for a full-figured woman (wrap dress, A-line dress, structured skirts with flared hems that balance out the hips) ... and that she would modify any of those go-to designs she's worked with in the past to fit the client's personality. I couldn't believe what she came up with. Hideous fabric or no, (and yeah it was hiiiiideous), the most unforgivable crimes she committed with that dress were the silhouette and the fit. Somebody said in the episode thread that Ashley blew the chance to launch her brand in a big way. I don't think she blew it. She didn't choke. I don't think she ever knew how to successfully design for plus-sized women and was never really going to turn out that "wow, finally someone aced the Real Woman (ugh) Challenge" moment. Sorry for the rant. I'm sure Ashley is a lovely person and I think she still has plenty of time to learn and grow as a designer. But FFS, the one time they have a "designer for plus sizes" on the show and she has no effing idea how to design properly for a plus size. It's shameful.

Yeahhh I know what you're saying about the "dress to disappear" and sadly a lot of that is true. What I consider a bangin' plus-sized outfit is "dress to minimize." It's got to be structured and tailored so that the eye goes up and down and not side-to-side (which many of plus gurl's designs, with their high gathered waists, tended to do). It's got to skim over the tricky parts and not accentuate them (helllooo elastic waist and pleats on a plus-sized girl: just no). Great inspo for plus-sized designs is Catherine Malandrino and Carmen Marc Valvo, both of whom make HOT and sexy clothes that are comfortable and flattering for Ladies of Size. I also really wonder why more designers don't jump on this train. We're in Murica. We have women who are big. Design clothes for them, FFS!

Also strongly suspect that the one guy kept saying "we" because his colleagues contributed majorly to the designs in the portfolios he showed them and the designs he brought. I wonder how much of what we saw was 100% his.

I want to love plus-size girl's designs but they're not flattering on a big girl's body. Cute colors, patterns, vibe but the designs themselves often do a plus-sized woman no favors. Hated Jellyfish Boy but loved his jellyfish collection. Indian guy had some beautiful dresses. Dominatrix Bettie Page obvs comes from big $. A 27-year-old single mother, relatively unknown designer doesn't pay for a bangin' San Francisco crib like that on her own. Maybe the dominatrix thing is ... not just her aesthetic, but her source of income?

Here is the Murphy Bed reference on the MNIE forum. And here is the post that Josh read out loud on the show as he typed it. Loved this particular reference. Thanks for the TWoP archive link, Kel Varnsen!

I'm guessing it's because he has to win the battle despite the coming winter, starvation, and lack of men, and now — short on supplies, food, and horses. Here's the conversation about this between Stannis and Melisandre: Melisandre: "Sometimes sacrifices must be made to ensure victory. I have shown you the power of king's blood. The usurper Robb Stark, the usurper Joffrey Baratheon." Stannis: "We don't have Robert's bastard here." Melisandre: "No. We have someone better. And your blood runs through her veins." Stannis: "Have you lost your mind?" Melisandre: "Do you doubt me, still? After all that you've seen?" Stannis: "There must be another way. Leeches or something." Melisandre: "There is only one way. You must become king before the long night begins. Only you can lead the living against the dead. All your life has led us to this moment, to this decision." Stannis: "She is my daughter. Get out." I guess the Lord of Light needs ALL the king's blood. And we know he's into fire, so that bit was probably insurance. I mean if they're going to sacrifice her, might as well serve her up the way the Lord likes 'em: burned alive.

Maybe to prove that Stannis actually did agonize over the decision to sacrifice her? When she was a baby and first came down with the disease, he could have done the "easy" thing by killing her then, or sending her off to live with the Stone Men. Instead he summoned every maester, every healer, every apothecary from the far corners of the world to try and save her. They stopped the disease and led her horribly disfigured, which in Westeros (and especially in noble circles) was a shameful burden on a family. He made those decisions because he loved her. We have to believe that he still does, and did, and that he genuinely feels like he's doing the right thing not just for his own ambitions for the crown, but for the greater good. And now I can't believe I just defended a guy who burned his child at the stake. What have you turned me into, Show?

To cheer myself up, I've rewatched Drogon's entrance about 10 times so far, and I'm not done. LOVE me some dragon rage.

Shireen repeating Stannis' exact Father of the Year quote back to him: "I am the Princess Shireen of the House Baratheon, and I am your daughter." So proudly. That ruins me. And then when you could tell the flames hit her by the way her screams changed. God that was disturbing. Give that kid an Emmy.

Right. I mean I'm no lawyer but can you build a proprietary case on one test during the process of building a complex website? These premises are really starting to grasp at straws and I'm bored with Pied Piper always being shit on. I did laugh out loud at zoo dude falling to his death, which probably says more about me than about the show, but whatever. On the other hand, what's really stopping Richard from making sure the Hooli phone makes its way to TechCrunch or Mashable?

Actually it was WHOOOZAGOODBOY! And my dog's tail started thumping on the floor.

Cards on the "Let Blaine Die" SWOT board: Strengths Blaine is no longer alive Blaine is dead Web traffic goes viral Ugly can car blood-soaked and totaled A dead Blaine is a Blaine that can’t reproduce Blaine’s last moment is realizing face is gone One less guy named Blaine Sense of accomplishment Death captured in high resolution slow motion. Holds up on repeated viewings Blaine severs jugular, bleeds to death— last moment is realizing math is wrong After hitting building, flat bill of cap might actually bend Blaine shits pants in fear. Pant discovered upon death Impress hot Satanist chicks by boasting about Blaine’s death. <— Guilfoyle Fulfilling “What would Satan do?” Saves assholes from making mistakes in math Weaknesses Gina kills self out of grief Gina marries Blaine in hospital out of grief No sex due to “bummer vibe” of funeral Blaine’s blood has AIDS and gets on kids Building is structurally damaged Blaine dies super fast Unfortunate window washer must clean blood off building Blaine dies slow but we can’t see because only family allowed in hospital Blaine’s funeral televised, pre-empts Star Trek: TNG marathon People wear t-shirts with Blaine’s face on them Opportunities Dishonor Blaine’s remains by putting dumb hat on body, dragging it behind car Digging up Blaine’s grave, dishonoring remains again Urinating on Blaine's grave Defecating on Blaine’s grave Masturbating on Blaine's grave Grief threesome with Gina and Blaine’s hot mom? Birds get to eat piece of Blaine Exsanguination Fuck Gina Gina needs counseling Blaine’s organs harvested for hot girls with cancer who then gratitude fuck us Threats Philz Coffee closes to honor Blaine’s memory People find out and on YouTube video, we get flamed in comments Vengeful Blaine supporters accuse us of criminal negligence We can only watch him die once Guilt (Dinesh only) Over time, Gina becomes more clingy and less hot Investigation and trial sets back Pied Piper build

I now have a new Happy Place Visualization: Cersei sucking the water off that dungeon floor. Thanks, Show!

Watching Cersei's chickens come home to roost was possibly the most satisfying 5 minutes in the history of television. Or chickens. Or satisfaction.

Seriously Tommen, what the hell. Have you not watched Joffrey long enough (Or your *ahem* father) to know that as king, you can stand up and scream for someone's head to be brought to you, no matter who it is, and it'll happen? Or scream for their tongue to be ripped out or their fingers cut off or at the very least, for them to stop dragging your wife away? I don't care how holy these Sparrows are, they can't override the king. WTFM.

Arya could not have given such a convincing speech to the sick girl without drawing from the well that is Arya Stark's past. That, and Jaquen H'agar whipping her whenever she lied about her past, makes me think she has to delve deep into Arya in order to become Faceless... not deny that Arya existed. No way does Jaquen not know that Needle's still around, though.

Cersei Lannister, you are absolutely fucking with the wrong Queen of Thorns and I for one cannot wait for the justice that will be so richly rained down upon your head.* * I hope, I hope, I hope. Show, you CANNOT deny me this after wtf just went down in Winterfell.

When Sansa was undoing her sleeves I just kept waiting for her to pull the dagger out of one and shank Ramsey to death. And then when that didn't happen I just kept waiting for Theon/Reek to jump in and save her. I have never held my breath so long in my life as I did on Sansa's walk to the weirwood and then ... what happened after. Goddamn you, Show. ETA: Great minds, Katalina.

Jared: "Now you can imagine that wedding however you want." I die. Also gold: Ehrlich. "Neighborly? First of all, that's not a word" and then Richard's split-second reaction. Also, why does it have to be killer, glass-and-brick-under-a-modeling-agency office or none at all? Can't they find some depressing basement office somewhere for a fraction of the rent, and still get out of Ehrlich's house and have more room for the new staff? I have to admit I found Kiko hilarious and called the masturbation/poop flinging as soon as they attached the robot arm to him. Many years ago I had a dickish / hypocritical "do as I say, not as I do" neighbor like the guy next door, and while I would normally sympathize with his frustrations of having an illegal company operating next door, I have to say it was nice to see him brought to heel. (As was my ex-neighbor, actually.)

It's scary to think how many parents out there would install The Lady in a heartbeat. Loved Carla f*cking with D&G, dropping one more "Cunty" into the scene with Jared, and his reference to The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.