Hootis

I went into this season unspoilt, like a newborn lamb, bleating.....mraaa....mrrRAAAAAAAA Uh...okay! So I didn't even recognize Ezra in the hospital. That was some scary good golem makeup. Glad he's dead though; it's time to move forward. Ian McSwearengen! Hoo. Fuckin. Ray! FINALLY we can get Trixie back on the floor. Katie Holmes! She looks really good, and brings the cold bitch....again...but still. She looks better than I've seen her in years. I'm so sad that Terry's in the slam, but after watching Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, I can appreciate the sacrifice. Punchy....I just have no use for that guy. Go take a nap.

It's already off the rails. Usually it takes several seasons for characters to become parodies of themselves; I feel like I'm watching a show in it's 6th season. Like the writers have skipped all the good stuff in seasons 1-5 and went right to waxing the waterskis. These characters are so dumb, redeeming them now would seem like a cheat.

Watching the Bait show....it's goofy. Watching these guys recreate The View is just cringe-worthy. "Look who's in the green room, wowzers! Back to you, Sig!" "Thanks Jake! Now, everybody look under their chairs...it's a CRAB! YOU get a crab! YOU get a crab! Wheeee!"

Huh. It is kind of an inverse Entourage, with Richard as not-Vincent, Gilfoyle as not-Drama...and Erlich as not-Ari. But instead of parties and celebrity cameos and cars, it's more suffering and neuroses and ferrets.

This has turned into a high tech National Lampoon's Vacation. I can only watch inept, stupid and awkward for so long, when I just KNOW the redemption won't be until the last episode. I'll just wait for that one.

I'm only on episode 4, and already I'm rooting for the jungle to eat these people. I understand that these people are "ordinary." They're not even as prepared as Survivor contestants. But....how can you get lost like that on a small island? How can you not have water when it's falling out of the sky? How can you not start a fire when you have lenses on your face? Do the English have the equivalent of the Boy Scouts?

So, yeah. I'm voting for the female eye candy. Because I'm a pig. I'm hoping Kelly from season 1 makes it. She was such a monster. For the men....don't care, really. I tend to vote younger and more recent seasons.

I'm trying to like these people. I don't know, man.

Okay, this is getting silly. I'm only half way through this episode, but the shortcuts these writers are taking are just too much. The guy's cell phone rings, he has a conversation, he hangs up, and poof! No more cell service. Silver is more effective than a gun? Okay. How about silver bullets? Now the subway scene. Satrakian doesn't act like someone who survived the Nazis, nor a plague of vampires. His ambush was amateur hour. And now we've got the Vampire Squad?

I'm still watching the episode, but that cornering of the Cordelia Marie was probably the coolest thing I've ever seen on the show. You can't manufacture drama and tension like that.

I am assuming that at some point perhaps possibly Mike Judge intends for me to like Richard, the main character. I haven't seen any evidence of this yet, but I hope...I keep hoping. Right now, I watch for Dinesh, Gilfoyle and Erlich. I want more.

They should have titled this episode "You Don't Know Who You're Fucking With." I'm going to say something silly, but I'll stand by it: this is the best acting I've ever seen. I don't doubt each clone for a second. They are completely different characters. No other single actor playing even twins has ever made me believe it. I'm certain the direction, makeup and sfx contribute, but man...she is amazing. That last scene, the fear - I bet a lot of pretty people wouldn't show a real "fear face" like that. She looked fucking terrified. So would I if Helena walked in.

Harrumph. I could set aside the canon up to a point - this story is much more interesting than the original relationship between Graham and Lecter - but killing Chilton? This parallel universe is going to collapse if they knock down too many load-bearing pillars.

I'm not what Hannibal would call rude. There are plenty of "free range rude" aside from our gang to sate him. Besides, the man can take roadkill and turn it into an epicurean feast! He could also be our diplomat.

I'm gonna make this harder and go for 5 different GENRES too. Because I just can't do it the easy way. My Dream Team James West (Wild Wild West, the TV show - for whooping 6 guys at a time and shooting from the hip) Leonardo Da Vinci (Da Vinci's Demons - I might need a submarine or a war machine) Rod Serling (Twilight Zone, what an imagination!) Walter White (Breaking Bad - CHEMISTRY and...moral flexibility) Hannibal Lecter (Hannibal - our cook) Governor, shmovenor.