grammaester

Oh now I get why Paige wanted her to come again. She's going to chase her away with petty BS. God these women are just a mess. It seems that the only type of woman who can live polygamy absolutely has to be passive aggressive to a fault.

Yes, it's call the religion of the erect penis and afflicts most men especially men 50 and over who decide they need "strange" before they die.

I felt last year that Ashley's main motivator is ultimate control over Dmitri why she builds a "tribal" polygamy brand Lifestyle. She thrives on calling the shots and watching him squirm and capitulate. She is absolutely not going to stand for any independent action on either Dmitri's or Vanessa's part. This is becoming a kind of sick psychological experiment that's uncomfortable to watch. I feel the opposite with Paige and Bernie. She seems to be subverting her own feelings in order to keep him around. She's so passive aggressive and not self aware. It also is uncomforatable to watch.

Oh boy, what a shitshow. I said it last season and will say it again. The whole Snowden thing is twofold, the are trying to push a new primarily African American way of life "tribal polygamy" infused with new wave BS on healthy living. They're hoping this will catch on so they can be the official consultants, write books, website etc. Second, there is a strong psychological issue going on here. Instead of the polygamy being a patriarchy as it always has been, Ashley is trying to turn it into a matriarchy. The first wife controls everything, the final choice in new wives, their diet, beliefs, etc and also when, where andhow the man can have sex with the new wife. She literally controls everything they do. Dmitri is so happy he found a woman who will allow him strange, he is willing to do anything. I believe Vanessa is in this for TV promotion. Word has it she is an actress. No woman who looks like her is going to go through all this to get to sleep with Dmitri and watch someone elses's kids.

I think Ashley loves the control of the situation for both Dimitri and the new prospect. She is only ok if she has final say on everything, not just how things play out but also everyone's reactions to it. She gets to tell Dimitri if, when and how he gets intimate with Vanessa, then she tells him how he's supposed to react to it"not too excited or anxious", etc. She did the same thing with Vanessa's love of red meat. She allowed that not only was eating the meat unacceptable but subtly shamed her for even liking it. Dimitri is so excited he found a woman who supposedly will allow him access to multiple women, he's willing for now to allow her to dictate every aspect of the process. I have always believed they are trying to start a new "tribal" trend and be the global consultants for how to make this work. All her baloney season one about African polygamy being their heritage. She's turning it around though from a patriarchal process to a matriarchal process. Traditional polygamy in most cultures gives the man full power in determining who is chosen and how he deals with each wife, despite protests by those involved who try to say the current wife/s have say so in this process, ultimately if the man isn't attracted or into the woman, it isn't happening just because a current sister wife wants her n the family. Ashley wants to control the choosing and how it plays out. The McGee wife is trying to do the same thing, although without the ulterior motive of Ashley. What both women don't acknowledge is that you are not going to control the man's sexual urges. Eventually, they are going to have sex when, how and why they want. That's why ultimately these relationships often fail unless the women are totally subservient to the men. Hence the process working in 3rd world countries where women have no say or power.

Good points all and I agree that polygamy needs to be decriminalized but I also think there needs to be some sort of limit on how many "wives" can claim welfare and other benefits from the state. Let's say Utah decided to decriminalize it totally. The majority of polygamists would move back there, after all it's there home state. Assuming an average of 4 wives per family(there are families in mountains that have 7-8 wives), that's alot of food stamps and public assistance. Utah would be broke in a few years. Probably overstating my point but I'm sure this is why this law has never been overthrown, all about the money. Kody bought 4 lots for 820K and plans to build houses. Unfortunately, none of their homes in Vegas have sold and 2 of them have dropped the price significantly, around 40K. I imagine people would be concerned lookie-loos would be driving around the cul-de-sac not realizing they moved.

I read a recent Kody interview. He said they moved to Flagstaff(could be wrong on the city) because it is very inclusive, has new laws to protect the LBQTG community and overall is a "hippie" live or let live place. He felt they would be freer there.

I said it last year and I still maintain the Snowdens see themselves as the vanguard of a new cultural movement. She spouts off about how polygamy is the norm in many parts of Africa, "building a tribe" with sister wives to help each other. I think they see themselves as the consultants, authors to guidebooks, motivational speakers, etc for this new black polygamy. The only problem with their little plan is that they've been looking for a sister wives for years and by their own admission have gone through many women, lived with only one for a few years, the rest flashes in pans. So they've already proven polygamy doesn't work well for a large number of devotees in an educated society. It often involves very young, inexperienced women and older men. Many women leave the lifestyle as they get older and wiser. Polygamy works in poor societies where survival is key, children often don't live long and much help is needed just to source food and shelter. It's a patriarchal society which generally only works well when the women are uneducated OR there is a strong religious belief. I think the Snowden's are at the vanguard of a losing proposition unless they're going to sell their system in 3rd world countries.

SMARMY!! That's the word I was looking for! I know exactly what you mean! And his wife....! He's a sleezeball and I think she likes being in front of a TV camera. Ditto for the new girlfriend. That is the ONLY explanation for why she's Schmoozing up to these two dildos. You can bet money she will be gone as soon as the season ends. Probably she will fail some secret test the wife will come up with - like last Yes her and her quasi intellectual BS on polygamy, she holds all the power between them. It's like she's his mother, "you can't have that cookie before dinner honey" "but mom, I'm hungry, I really want it" "You know it will spoil your appetite(for me) if you eat it now" "Ok mommy, you know best"

This show is totally fascinating to me. I've watched the Sister Wives since the beginning but it's become old hat because there is so much passive aggressive behavior, the women will never open up any more about their true feelings on things. So it becomes 2 hours of just talking about stupid things like Meri's bed and breakfast. On this show with 4 families, it's till possible to delve into why they do what they do. Snowdens: The most fascinating couple, although I truly can't stand them. She holds 100% of the power in the relationship. Even when he temporarily grabs power (like hooking up with the 23 year old last season) she brow beats him into submission with quasi intellectual BS about plural marriage rules and he is right back under her thumb. I swear sometimes the look on his face is like a little kid who got his hand caught in the cookie jar by mommy. This new "relationship" won't last 6 months after she moves in. He is far too sexually attracted to her. Ashley won't have that. She will nix every woman who he's hot over until he finally capitulates and they end up with someone he can shtup in a dark room but who caters to Ashley. That's why they've been trying to find someone for over 10 years. OLder couple in trailer: Can you say old man mid life crisis. I mean seriously, he just wants strange and has talked her into it. She's insecure, doesn't think she can make it on her own or attract another man. This is just a slow moving train wreck. Colton and harem: This is Cody and his group in the making. Give it 10 years and it will be full of passive aggressive behavior ,20 kids, everyone on the fast track to celestial paradise. The first wife already exhibits Meri's jealousy over the 2nd wife even though she was supposedly "onboard" with the whole thing. Aldredges: He thinks he's hit the jackpot and I don't think for one minute this bimbo was the idea of the wives. Again another middle age man looking for strange couching it in religious terms. It won't happen but I hope he marries this woman. She will destroy that "we're so happy" demeanor they all walk around with in about a week. Love it all

Truer words were never spoken. I think what bothers me most about Dimitri (so many options) is how he sits around with a perpetual sheepish "who me?" grin on his face, like he thinks he is just so damn adorable that everybody must cater to him, and no one could EVER be mad at him. What was with that "glad we had a challenge" bullshit he was spouting? He was glad all right -- glad to get some easy sex while his pregnant "wife" waited at home. That whole speech about needing to respect Ashley's feelings on Joselyn was one bullshit mountain. You have to respect her NOW, Dimitri? How respectful did you feel towards her when you were sneaking away to have sex with a virtual stranger you'd known all of two weeks? And that godawful "showdown" with Joselyn, with Dimitri and Ashley magnanimously giving Joselyn the chance to fess up. We have no indication that she had any damn idea about their rules, and even if she did, Dimitri was the one responsible for keeping them, and all he got from Ashley was a "tsk" and a slap on the wrist while he blathered new-agey bullshit about moving forward as people. Hey, Ashley, you're so evolved; how 'bout you use your big girl words and just ASK Joselyn about the "intimacy" like a grown-up? Baiting some trap and then smiling smugly as she falls into it is some passive-aggressive bullshit right there. I know there were two other couples on this episode, but damn, Dimitri and Ashley are one toxic shitshow. Yeah, Dimitri, you need to keep moving on in your search for more sex...er, another "wife." THAT'S OBVIOUSLY WHAT YOU NEED. Great comments! While the other families are moderately interesting this couple just takes the cake. Many say they are total actors and not really into plig, just want to be famous. I don't think that's it. I think they want to bring AFrican cultural polygamy to the US culture, and (based on someone elses comments, which I think were on the money) they want to be seen as the consultants for this lifestyle with books, personal appearances etc. They can make their money, Dmitri gets his strange, Ashley gets to pretend she's queen of the Amazons with a battalion of Amazons underneath her helping her with the tribe and childrearing. For those who may think I'm being racist, I truly am not as anyone who has seen my comments before knows. I'm basing this on them saying they studied up on African tribal polygamy. Although if I was being historicaly or at least true to the legend I believe the Amazons captured men for mating purposes only but someone correct me if I'm wrong plz. Now that's a plig lifestyle I might pay a consultant for. LOL

The Snowdens seem like a very smart and united couple looking for income, book deals, and business opportunities. “Progressive Tribal” is their shtick. So, I don’t think the SnowDen of Inequity is as off-balance as people think. I believe it’s exactly what Ashley said it was: entertainment. But we want to believe it’s real, so we do. And in my opinion, THAT is the real snow job. And it’s brilliant! Scarlett, the Snowdens may be brilliant con-people but you are a brilliant writer and very possibly right. Of course the other option is that Ms AShley is just that deluded. Just because you're smart and educated doesn't make you any less likely to be taken by a charming, snake-oil salesman. The fact they already had one live in sister wife with children, verified independently on various websites, tells me they really are trying to make this lifestyle work. I personally think they are quasi intellectuals who studied tribal polygamy and felt they'd be on the vanguard of this movement for the african american culture in this country. They probably saw the TLC ad, decided as you said, this was a great way to make money and start up their own little tribal consulting service. I do think she believes Dmitri is as into this concept for the "right" reasons as she is. The look in her eyes both when they discussed him sleeping with Jocelyn and at the restaurant when they were sadistically baiting her, showed me either Ashley is a great actress or she was truly angry and jealous. Dmitri at the restaurant was totally cowed and afraid to speak up. His face is pretty easy to read, unless of course, he is also a great actor. He was definitely embarrassed IMO. Either way it was all totally fascinating.

They met up with Jakira.Attractive woman maybe around 38-40, weight around 210,mostly around the bootie and thighs. She walks in, they cut to Dmitri saying "she's a larger woman but I'm ok with that" but his eyes and face said, not on your effin life". They try to talk, she's not super friendly, a little quiet. He doesn't make much of an effort, no flirting and big smiles like with 100 lb 22 yr old Jocelyn. Cut to AShley and Dmitri back home. Ashley is singing her praises.Dmitri is sitting there looking like someone stuck a 10 foot hot pole up his ass. He then says "I don't know, she's kind of shy and reserved (which is code for (in his mind) fat), I don't know if I can get past that". Then at the end they say the Snowdens "passed" on Jakira and are still looking. HA HA HA, that's a shocker.

Dimitri telling Ashley let's sleep on it was code for "I'll tell you once the cameras are off that it's not going to happen with your friend because she's not a 22 year old toothpick". I laughed my ass off during the entire scene. From the moment She walked in the door and Dmitri said "she's a larger woman I don't mind that ", all the while you could see in his face, no effin way. Then his convo with AShley afterwards how she was so reserved and shy he didn't think he could get past that. I never realized till that moment that reserved and shy was code for way larger than I would ever tap. The bigger joke is that Ashley, as deluded as any woman I've ever seen in real life or even on 90 day fiance(can anyone say Danielle), actually buys his BS hook, line and sinker while it is 100% obvious to all of America (and yes Ashley if you're reading this many of us are just as educated and intelligent as you are) that he is nothing but a horny, prideful man who wants to tap as many young attractive booties as he can with the ok of his wife and breed a lot of little Dmitri's.

I have always found the saying ridiculous because if you're saying it about someone who's done you wrong, it means you did something wrong to them or someone else and are getting your karma. I don't know as much as you do I'm sure and don't mean to simplify it, just bothers me because the reality in life is really bad things happen to good people and vice versa. Whether there were past lives and debts or not, that is the bottom line and sometimes that sucks. LOL

AGree. That they were so interested In Jocelyn and now just a few days or weeks later, jumping into a woman with 5 kids. Horseshit.

April is the aggressive in passive agressive, Auralee is the passive. They are both great at their part which is why it's gone on so long. They're in it now, doubt they'll be able to stop the behaviors. I still think April is better at the behavior or worse depending on how you look at it. Auralee really does want it to stop, April doesn't give a shit. She is 1000% committed to being top dog in that house and it doesn't matter what the others, including Drew say or do, April is doing April and eff to everyone else. She has no compassion at all for anyone. Anyone who complains that the mother of a new infant is spending too much time nursing is a piece of work beyond compare.

Yes, I was thinking of it from her POV. If she takes 2 hours to nurse her child(per April), which means she literally is nursing all day, she's doing that because she wants to. She is not someone who is going to pump to go to work.

I just read on another site a long post from the first sister wife. She said, both Ashley and Dmitri wanted to be famous on TV. She basically intimated she had a decent relationship with Dmitri but AShley wanted to have sex with her too and she is strictly monogamous. I'm not sure I believe that as you would think that would have been disclosed up front as there are plenty of bisexual people in polyamory relationships. I do believe they both wanted to be famous. They are so arrogant and cocky about their "intellectual" lifestyle choice they would want the whole world to admire them.

Exactly to everything you said! I found what happened at that table really troubling, it bothered me almost as much as when I saw the movie Hostel for the first time, LOL, but seriously! Something about the enjoyment Ashley got both from her digs like " we believe in honesty, yadayada" and the fact that Dmitri said nothing. Ashley, in her mind, reigned supreme over miss beautiful, tall, skinny girl. I almost waited for her to say as Jocelyn was walking out" see you weren't that good, he stuck with me", but of course Ashley has such arrogance in her intellectualism and maturity she wouldn't do something that honest or up front, she'll just nail that poor girl with her snide, backhanded comments. You also are absolutely right drawing the parallel between Ashley and April as I see that same malice and sadism in April as she backhands Auralee and Angela. I just saw an interview on Newsweek.com with the Snowdens and basically Ashley was trashing the general public for judging her relationship as only her and Dmitri matter. If that's the case AShley, take your sadistic, quasi-intellectual self and Mr. Can't keep it in his pants partner off of reality TV. As smart as you are I'm surprised you didn't realize if you opt to go on reality TV, you leave everything about yourself open to judgment and comment.

She is one of the best practitioners(I've raised her to this level because she doesn't have a genuine conversation, ever!) of passive aggressive behavior I've ever seen. I suspect she has perfected this behavior because she is naturally beautiful and was one of those "Oh daddy, can't I have the new doll" little girls who was taught young if you put a fake smile on your face, a tad of a whine in your voice you can get anything you want. I can't figure out if Auralee was passive aggressive before she had to live with April or if this is a learned behavior. The difference with Auralee is she caves. A person truly great at this type of behavior never caves in. They just keep it up until it works much as April has been doing. I don't believe Angela will last year. AS soon as baby is off the breast and she can goto work FT, she's gone.

This is really an excellent post. If you're not in the psychology field, you should be!

That is an interesting take. Yes they are being gaslit in a way although Ashley is in a different category in my opinion. I think she is actively participating in gaslighting these girls they hook up with. She is definitely in need of serious counseling. What they did to that young girl was cruel in my eyes. I'm sure she assumed Dmitri would know if it was ok if they slept together. She kept looking at him during the luncheon, bewildered as to why he wasn't bringing up their night together. She just didn't know what to say or do. Ashley just sat there sadistically watching her squirm. Yikes.

Excellent thoughts Jocelyn! I'm addicted as I just can't believe that intelligent people can delude themselves to this degree especially Dmitri and Ashley. It makes me understand how the Jim jones and other cult tragedies happened and I'm absolutely fascinated. This show makes the people on Sister Wives look like they're emotionally mature and on the right path. LOL Fabulous advice! If you're not in some sort of psychology/counseling profession, you should be.

Oh wait, Dmitri, is glad there was a "challenge" to show that Jocelyn wasn't a good candidate and "they're going to keep trying" to find their forever person. RFLMAO. He is going to get strange every 6 months, so Ashley can nix his immature behavior and decide the woman isn't their soulmate. I don't think I've ever seen anything so FU in my life in a relationship. These two need to stop reading about tribal polygamy in Africa and seek individual psychotherapy.