Joe Hellandback

Apologies, I'll go back and correct.

Has anyone ever counted up how many times Benson has been taken hostage? It reminds me of Robot Chicken's gag where Dick Tracy eventually dies of lead poisoning from being shot in the shoulder so many times.

A Fistful of Dinars The Good; An okay ep, largely memorable for the implied love triangle and the revelation that Xena actually had a fiancée, she sure gets around. Like Gabby figuring out the riddle The Bad; Seems a bit cheap. The Mythbusters proved you couldn't climb up a collapsed bridge although I always thought it depended on the size of the gaps between the planks. Bit much that they just trash the poor monks temple. Recurring Characters; no Ephiny; 1 Hades; 1 Ares; 1 Marcus; 1 Falafel; 2 Cyrene-1 Lila-1 Gabby's dad-1 Perdicas-1 Draco-1 Sisyphis-1 Xena cliches; here's the pinch again and another dead Gabby suitor plus her taken hostage once more. “I have many skills’; 1 10 years ago; 1 Dead Gabby suitors; 2 Dr Xena-5 Xena in bondage-2 Loyal advisor who is actually the villain-1 Gabby captured-3 Village in peril-2 Duel to settle things-2 The Pinch; 3 Xena animal skills; 2 Xena fire-breathing; 2 Kills; another for Xena Xena; 9 Best quote; - Petracles “When I had her I realised I didn't want her anymore” Greek myths; nope but reminiscent of The Maltese Falcon and The Treasure of the Sierra Madre as well as Indiana Jones. Subtext; a very jealous Xena over Petracles putting the moves on Gabby Other; Pretty unremarkable, the series is still in the quest of the week situation, we need more arc. Rating; 5/10

I'm in the UK so we only got ep 23, I'm only up to the point where Benson order them both arrested on the balcony.

Don't worry, it's such a mess everyone gets confused. The Firefly crew rather break the rules of the Jossverse, a lot more happy to use guns and kill in cold blood than the Scoobies. The good; We see a more moral side to the Serenity crew and love the face-off between Jayne and the others without Mal around. The bad; The sick bay design is rather stupid, wouldn't you want some privacy rather than all those windows for people to see in? No one notices Serenity flying alongside the train? Notches on the Serenity bedpost; Inarra;1-a paying customer who wishes to make her his kept woman Wash; 1-the missus Zoe; 1-the hubby Capt subtext; Mal talks of 'being on the edge' then 'moving towards the middle', possibly alluding to the frontier and the central planets. Innara and Kaylee have a big girly hair-stroking session (how the Summer's girls on Buffy used to express physical affection for one another). Inarra remarks to Kaylee "We could experiment". Mal seems keen on the idea and refers to Inarra 'servicing the crew' but she dismisses that as his 'lonely pathetic dreams'. Summer points out that Mal=Bad in Latin/French. Mal tells Zoe he loves her but it's all part of their cover(?) Happy high-class hookers in Space (the title the porn industry wished they'd thought of!); Kaylee seems fascinated by the details of Inarra's profession. Inarra claims a companion gets to pick and choose her clients which I think is about as realistic and truthful as the Dollhouse staff pretending to themselves that they don't hire the Actives out as sexual submissives. Mal still needles Inarra about her hooking but does so more subtly and less nastily than he did in 'Serenity'. The nature of the companions work is left very vague here, if you hadn't seen Serenity you wouldn't know exactly what her job is, she could be a beautician. Inarra enjoys turning the tables on Mal, pretending he's her indentured man (some form of community service in the future?). Questions and observations; We now know the war ended 6 years ago. Inarra has been on the ship 8 months. Here we have a much more upbeat, likable Mal, perhaps the events of Serenity mellowed him? He even says 'It's the right thing to do'. Book refers to the 'Fuzzy wuzzies' referring to Kiplings poems concerning the Sudan campaign Britain fought against Islamic fundamentalists in C19th (and we're still doing it today!). What is the chain of command on Serenity? It seems to go Mal, Zoe, Jayne, Wash, after that anyone's guess. Note Mal doesn't kill the Fed on the train, just knocks him out. Joss refers to Inarra and Mal as Beatrice and Benedict from 'Much ado about nothing', check out the Kenneth Branagh version for the Beatrice and the Duke (Denzel Washington) proposal scene alone. Joss refers to Firefly as Star Trek; TNG dark underbelly, much as what was explored in DS;9. Marks out of 10; 5 out of ten, nowhere near as good as Serenity, not a bad ep in itself but feels cheap in comparison to it's predecessor, like Charmed to Buffy.

All the more ironic as Alan Tudyk hadn't been cast yet. The good; Lots of it, exciting story and some great background. This may be the pivotal ep of Dollhouse as it's the first to suggest Echo is really moving beyond her programming and Alpha is set up as this big bad bogeyman. The bad; ? Best line; Boyd (handing Echo a gun)" Know how to use that?" Echo (handling it confidently) "4 brothers, none democrats" Very cheeky for trendy lefty Joss Packing heat; Echo with a S&W 9mm. Boyd has exchanged his automatic for a .357 revolver perhaps in keeping with his backstory as an ex-cop. Kinky dinky; Echo and her client/trick play 'The naughty Girl Scout' together. Notches on the Dollhouse bedpost; Echo; 2 How'd they get away with that? Echo being hunted is horrible but nothing compared to Alpha slaughtering everyone in the pool! Amazing how much blood they got away with. This weeks fantasy; Echo is a fun loving outdoor girl and a sweet girl who loves fat guys (a 'chubby chaser'?) in flashback Total number personalities; 2 for Echo making a total of; 8 Sierra; 2 Victor; 1 Total dolls;3 Echo, Sierra and Victor Topher is a bit geeky; He asks for a gun but no one trusts him with one Subverting the Hollywood cliché Hello Mellie, proving that women of a fuller figure can be attractive on US TV (like Tara). Her real first name is Miracle? Were her parents hippies? Speaking of which in the flashback Echo is hired to be the girlfriend for an obese man as you would expect dolls to be but we never see him. Kills; Boyd's driver and the Ranger killed. Sierra; 2 kills Echo kills the psycho; 1 Dolls injured; Echo and Boyd badly injured Capt subtext Topher expresses 'Big, big man love' for Boyd and describes his eyes as 'dreamy'. Boyd is protective of the actives from the start and Topher tells him it's all about trust. Know the face? 4th Whedon alumni-Mark Shepherd was Badger in Firefly (and the 2nd BSG star for Jane Espenson to bring with her) Guantanamo; Boyd tortures the fake Forest Ranger to save Echo (Jack Bauer/Dick Cheney would be proud) Reminds me off; Joss basically reuses this storyline from the 3rd season Buffy ep Homecoming, it's derived from the famous short story 'The Most Dangerous Game' which in turn inspired real life serial killer Robert Hansen who hunted and murdered over twenty people after kidnapping them, releasing them into the Alaskan wilderness and giving them a head start. Also reminiscent of ED's horror movie Wrong Turn. Addy uses the term Tabula Rusa which was the name of a 6th season ep of Buffy. Questions and observations; Got to admit when Dominic walks away from Echo at the end I thought she just gave him a 'screw you' gesture. It wasn't until I rewatched that I realised she gives him the psycho's 'shoulder to the wheel' action. Is the drug in the canteen the catalyst for Echo's specialness or was there something before? I think if they'd have kept stories at this level Dollhouse would have been much more successful than it was. 8/10 MUCH BETTER

Ah yes Harmony, here CC's unnamed blonde friend, who would realise that she will eventually become a regular on Angel with her own clip in the titles. You're right that Darla seems submissive here but I figure that's her attitude around The Master, she is 'sire-whipped', even Angelus comments on her running off and leaving him for old fruit punch mouth. Good call! I always figured that The Maestro doesn't turn up for the Seinfeld 4's trial because Mark Metcalf was busy in Sunnydale. The Harvest The Good; Never suspected they'd turn Jesse and was shocked when they killed him (Xander bags his first vamp, it'll take Willow and Cordelia 2 whole seasons to kill their first). The fight at the end is terrific especially Buffy's trick and 'give me the Spielberg (such a shame that there are no more commentaries on season 1, roll on Buffy Special Edition DVDs). Love Willow's trick on Cordy and we have Harmony for the first time (here unnamed). Willow hacks for the first time. Great scenes with the hand trying to pull Buffy back into tunnels (Xander saves her for the first time?) whilst the sun going down has never seemed quite so menacing not to mention Darla skipping along to the Bronze. The bad; The vamps seem affected by the all too common slow moving monster syndrome. Also all the bodies disappear from the Bronze at the end whilst considering they're supposed to be lifelong friends Willow and Xander seem to forget about Jesse awfully quickly. Also considering we later establish what a formidable vamp Darla is Willow seems to overcome her awfully easily with just a jar of holy water Best line; Willow; "I need to sit down" Buffy; "You are sitting down" Willow; "Oh, good" Questions and observations; the vamps look slightly different to what we later see, their skin more mottled and talons more pronounced. We later see in The Wish that whilst the Harvest would have been bad it wouldn't have been the end of the world. Is it Cordy who bumps into Jesse and forces him onto Xander's stake? I must say I'd never seen the supposed gay subtext between the Master and Luke until it was pointed out by Joss but now it seems impossible to miss. 8/10 solid Buffy

1. Hostage taker; "Put your gun down and join me over here" Benson (keying her radio mike so everyone can hear their conversation) "No, I'm not giving you an additional hostage, I'm backing away and we're going to talk about this, it's all going to be okay, we'll work it out" 2. Carisi; "So we checked out the accuser and it turns out she has long history of mental illness" Rollins; "And?" Carisi; "And what?" Rollins; "Haven't we found some greater crime the accused is guilty off? Remember he is a flashy, rich, womaniser?" Carisi; "No" 3. Stone; "Do you want to tell me why you arrested the kidnapped and tortured hostage?" Benson; "Well there was a rape allegation against him" Stone; "By a crazy woman with a gun took 4 people hostage, maimed one and may have killed another? Do you think every time there's a sex crime allegation we should automatically assume it's true?" Benson; "Yes, I mean he is a man" 4. Benson; "How can you represent rapist scum like your client? Don't you know the horrific crimes he's accused off?" Defence solicitor; "Yes, accused off, you don't know if he's guilty. When a victim walks through the door do you automatically assume they're lying?" Benson; "Huh?"

The Good; actually I thought the whole hostage thing was quite terrifying, they didn't shy away from the reality of her torturing him, the cigarette burn especially nasty (as was clubbing the poor guy who owned the apartment) and Benson talking her down was actually pretty tense, you genuinely wondered if she'd kill him or not. Also liked the Carisi/Finn scenes, I know the show centres on a pretty grim subject matter but we should have more comedy. The Bad; the whole thing with the phone and the live feed seems rather contrived. Benson should never have given up her pistol but radioed for back-up the moment she realised she'd hit the right apartment and then backed off rather than ditch her pistol. My fears are more for the next ep, I want the guy who has been taken hostage and the apartment owner to be entirely innocent and for her to be a nutball driven crazy by her experience of being raped by a Coyote. But the whole hidden camera through the dark web schtick makes me think that this will be one more SVU stumbling across a massive conspiracy cliché.

But he doesn't show up until season 3!

Yes, Carlos is great and one of Joss' Triples (Buffy/Angel/Firefly) I always thought the difference was Han is a pure mercenary whilst Mal is the disillusioned idealist. Remember he did kill off his original 'Adorable Nerd Girl' Cassandra in the Buffy movie To think this was the 11th ep aired! What a mess! The good; The 'treasure' mislead is very clever indeed as is the mole, we think it's Simon then Book. Love Kaylee's parasol. The Mal/Jayne face off at dinner is powerful as is Mal telling Jayne to shut up on Persephone but then agreeing he's actually right. It's a small gesture but love it when Simon is about to give River an injection and she sticks her tongue out. The bad; The opening battle scenes are too dark, I can barely work out what's going on. They appear to operate on Kaylee yet keep her clothes on (like Buffy at the end of season 6). Passing the Reaver ship is a tense moment but stupid when you think about the physics as Joss admits on the commentary. Shouldn't Jayne bring his own rifle to the gunfight, what if there were no snipers? What if their rifles were inaccurate/faulty and how does he use a weapon not zeroed for him? The Reavers just letting the Serenity go then arbitrarily coming back for it later with no adequate expectation is just stupid and lazy writing or am I trying to find logic in the actions of madmen? (The Reavers, not the writers). Can't they just take the markings off the food? Why does Mal peg the guy in the hat for the best shot when he's got an ancient Colt repeater rifle? How come Mal shoots Dobson in the head yet he doesn't bleed as he and Jayane chuck him out the door? Kinky dinky; Naked Summer Glau, a cause for joy as anyone who ever watched The Sarah Connor Chronicles knows ("Put'em back in the holster"). Mal tells Kaylee he's considering tying her up, gagging her and throwing her into the hold. She then kisses him and says she loves him. Much like Willow maybe there's a lot of kink beneath that sweet and innocent exterior? "Force is OK" Wash likes to watch Zoe bathe, Inarra also does it unabashedly in front of Book, causing him to gawp. Kaylee certainly knows how to eat a strawberry, maybe Inarra taught her how? Zoe says the Reavers will "Rape us to death" if they are boarded. Reminds me off; the Dortmunder reminds me off the Chig ships from 'Space; Above and Beyond' which Joss is a self-confessed fan off. As indeed does the strawberry eating. Questions and observations; Note Mal kisses his cross before taking on the skiff. Is that why he shows hostility to Book later over grace, he's lost his faith? Note even Jayne does say grace. Mal seems to resent Simon as a 'rich kid', he's a very working class hero. Simon tells Mal to dope Kaylee which you shouldn't do with a stomach wound but maybe their drugs are more advanced? Who are the underground movement Simon claims helped him free River? Did Jayne free the Fed? The Serenity reminds me not so much of a bug as off a goose. I always thought at the end Wash was giving some sort of weird futuristic thumbs up, hilarious to think he's actually faking steering the ship and in the widescreen we see there's no control there. Mal tries to put his past behind him but still can't give up his resentment against the Alliance, won't beg to work for them. He also resents Inarra, Book and pretty much everyone. In the future they still use platinum for money. Marks out of 10; 7/10, interesting but not brilliant from the beginning by any means

I agree, Echo was much better than Ghost, especially the Ballard stuff; ECHO The good; A solid introduction to the workings of the Dollhouse and the various characters we will encounter over the course of the series. Love Echo at the wedding reception and Victor being a doll is sure a shock. Interesting debate between Topher and Boyd, they seem closer here than in Ghost. The bad; You can see why the network demanded a re-shoot, very little action and kinda hard to like the characters, especially when Echo shoots Agent Ballard. Also stretches credibility that there's no sex involved, reminiscent of the holosuites in ST;TNG Best line; Victor's "People are mostly crap!" just beating Topher's "Morality is programming" (or do they mean the same thing?) Packing heat; Echo shoots Ballard with his own gun. Kinky dinky; Astonishingly in this first ep there's no sex whatsoever except for a little kissy kissy at the wedding reception. Addy remarks to the client about hiring girls to dress as cheerleaders for him. Topher justifies him being in the Dollhouse because it is "Cutting edge science in a house full of hot chicks". Personally all the naked showering scenes do little or nothing for me, when the actives don't have their personalities implanted they act like stoned children and I just find it extremely creepy (nudity in itself is seldom erotic, the context is everything). Capt subtext; Addy's client is a little too eager to turn down the offer of a male doll. Victor says that he wants to be Doris Day (cut to Sierra looking just like her or actually a little more Jackie O perhaps?) How'd they get away with that? The sociopath assassin Echo is programmed with is hard to take, she's loathsome but your heart bleeds for a girl who's been running from the police since she was 5. Still hard to watch Ballard threaten her though but this being a Joss show she turns the tables. Boyd seems pretty callous just abandoning a wounded Ballard but in fairness the police are on their way. This weeks fantasy; Echo is a vengeful streetwalker, besotted fiancé, damaged goods assassin and rehab girl. Sierra is Jackie O, Victor is a Russian gangster Total number personalitites; Echo; 4 Sierra; 1 Victor; 1 Total dolls; 3 We meet Victor, Echo and Sierra Addy is a bit British; Likes her tea Topher is a bit geeky; His lab is an ubergeeks playground complete with gum-ball machine and whack-a-mole arcade machine Dolls injured; Sierra with an unexplained cut on her face Happy hookers; Essentially the Dollhouse is the ultimate fantasy brothel, amazing that Joss was able to get that onto the screen but I guess The Sopranos, The Shield etc led the way. Here we actually have Echo beating up a pimp and packing his latest working girl off home, rather hypocritical given the nature of the Dollhouse, is what Addy and co do that different to what he does? Know the face? 2 Joss Whedon regulars, Amy Acker and Eliza Dushku. Guantanamo; The conspiracy starts here, the power and reach of the Dollhouse is truly terrifying Fanfic; Plenty where Echo and the girls get to dress up as cheerleaders and 'Bring it on'. Missing scenes; Interesting missing scenes with Echo saving the girl in a spiral of self-destruction but the Dollhouse seems a bit TOO altruistic Reminds me off; The dolls sleeping pods are very Alien whilst the Dollhouse itself is reminiscent of the Wolfram and Hart set in Angel. Questions and observations; Gotta say I prefer Echo to Ghost although I can see why the network didn't. Do we ever meet Ballards ex? Addy seems to imply they're all dammed. 7 out of 10, good enough, intriguing but not brilliant Ghost The good; More involving plot, more drama and excitement and more realistic depiction of the reality of the Dollhouse. The bad; The bike ride is stupid, such a Hollywood cliché that they turn out to be racing. Boyd is the worst sniper ever, demonstrating why you should always use a semi-auto rifle. Her client is also way too handsome as Joss and ED comment but if she'd turned up with an ordinary looking guy would we not know something was up? Plenty of pandering to the studio frankly. How does Sierra fire 3 rounds from her pump action shotgun without working the action? Best line; Addy "Nothing is what it appears to be" (how true that will turn out to be!) also like Tophers "Everybody who's running to something is also running away" Packing heat; Sierra with a shotgun and pistol (although she has a carbine in the chopper?), Boyd with a pistol and sniper rifle. Kinky dinky; ED dancing is always a treat. especially in her 'decent by half an inch' dress. She also does a twirl around the stripper pole move when she gets into the van (check out her film The New Guy for more in that vein). We also get to glimpse her having bondage sex with her client. On the other hand her sexy librarian look is also quite something. Joss says he has a thing about libraries/librarians, wonder if Tony Head knows? How'd they get away with that? All the stuff with the kidnapped girl and what happened to Echo's personality as a kid is horrific. Sierra's first treatment is hard to watch. This weeks fantasy; Sierra is a SWAT team commander, Echo is a bike-riding party girl and hostage negotiator. Total number personalities; 2 for Echo making a total of; 6 1 for Sierra making; 2 1 for Victor Total dolls;3 Echo, Sierra and Victor Addy is a bit British; It's the tea again Bondage; Echo ties up her client during sex Kills; Sierra kills 2 of the kidnappers Dolls injured; Echo slapped around by the kidnapper Capt subtext: Dr Saunders offers Echo a massage. One wonders how she danced so wonderfully after dropping a motorbike on her leg? Happy hookers: This time Echo explicitly does have sex with her paying client Know the face? Recurring Joss Whedon stars 3 ;Amy Acker, Eliza Dushku and Ballards sparring partner was the 'walking action figure' Spike had to fight in season 6 of Buffy to get his soul back. Also look out for Tim Kellehen who was also in Dark Skies, another conspiracy-fest series where he played a similar character (his Dark Skies co-star Conor Farrell also turns up in Buffy as the soldier who takes over The Initiative) Fanfic: Plenty of bondage sex in fanfic Reminds me off; Adele is very Lilah with a touch of Joyce Summers whilst Dominic is very Marcus. The relationship between Active and Handler very reminiscent of Watcher and Slayer. Ballards FBI contact is called Loomis which may be a Halloween reference. The boat sequence was so Miami Vice I had to check that Boyd was wearing socks. The kidnapped girl stuff is reminiscent of the Angel ep 'Damage'. Questions and observations; Caroline remarks 'Like she always said', is this Mrs Dundee whom she refers to in her video? Obviously it's not ED doing all the bike work but can she ride at all? You wonder what the Faith on a motorcycle spin off would have been like especially with ghost-Spike as sidekick? The first time I ever actually heard Lady Gaga was watching this ep. Caroline says 'Hello mom' in her video, is her family still out there? The kidnap victim's dad refers to 'That reality crap', Joss putting the boot in? ED refers to her first movie with period cars which was presumably 'This Boys Life' with Robert De Niro and Leonardo Dicaprio. Joss is a fan of BSG AND Millers Crossing, he sure has taste! Obviously the budget is pretty tight to judge by their comments. What does Echo mean when she babbles 'Is it bigger than your thumb?' 6/10

Sexiest woman in the Buffyverse and that's saying something! She was the hook that brought viewers into the show. I disagree, I really liked her here and thought it was a wonderful way to show her range, not just Faith clones, seeing her on Bull it really shows how much she has matured as an actress. I loved Summer on TSCC but it was easier for her character to evolve as it was constant, we spent most of every ep watching Cameron. Echo by contrast never spent a full ep as herself, she was always implanted.

Athens Academy of the Performing Bards The Good; A fun ep, very light, gives Gabby an early chance to shine, the producers obviously beginning to realise how important she is to the show. The stab scene is a real shock, you genuinely wonder if this will be Gabby solving a murder mystery for a moment. The Bad; not much to dislike about this one, just quite lightweight Recurring Characters; no but here we have young Hercules, Xena/Herc always keen to reuse NZ’s rather limited acting pool. Ephiny; 1 Hades; 1 Ares; 1 Marcus; 1 Falafel; 2 Cyrene-1 Lila-1 Gabby's dad-1 Perdicas-1 Draco-1 Sisyphis-1 Xena cliches; “I have many skills’; 1 10 years ago; 1 Dead Gabby suitors; 1 Dr Xena-5 Xena in bondage-2 Loyal advisor who is actually the villain-1 Gabby captured-2 Village in peril-2 Duel to settle things-2 The Pinch; 2 Xena animal skills; 2 Xena fire-breathing; 2 Kills; Xena; 8 Best quote; - Xena “You’re my family Gabrielle, you’re like a sister to me” Greek myths; every major literary figure in Greek history here, of course in reality they all lived hundreds of years apart. Subtext; nope, instead we have bad old Xena seducing Iolaus. Other; How DID they get permission to use clips from Spartacus? No wonder they had to give big thanks in the credits. Most shows will do clip shows at some stage to save money and as an emergency fill in for the eventuality they can’t produce any fresh eps. Most are utterly terrible, characters sitting around saying ‘Hey remember when?’ Xena and Hercules do them BRILLIANTLY, you actually look forwards to them instead of dreading them, they’re arguably the most enjoyable Hercules eps of all. This is early days of course so not that great Rating; 6/10

Yeah, such a shame we didn't get to see Jesse in CWDP, I especially liked Balfour in Six Feet Under, one of many Buffy alumni we see there over the years. The clothes are pretty scandalous but in the first few years as the show established itself it pretty shamelessly exploited the beauty of its' female stars, there wasn't copy of Maxim or FHM without one of them on the cover in their skimpies. https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=buffy+girls+magazine+covers&FORM=HDRSC2 If you look at the 20 year reunion it's amazing how gorgeous everyone still looks, even KS who is still MILFY as hell. https://www.cbr.com/buffy-the-vampire-slayer-cast-reunion/ Yeah, SMG looks a lot fuller in figure in the first season and it suits her, by season 5 she's painfully thin, especially in 'Family'. Don't worry, I did that in my reviews Yeah, that's such a TV cliché, CC is even worse, losing multiple boyfriends but ignoring the fact next ep. WTTH The Good; Great opening scene, straight from every slasher flick ever but with a Joss twist. Brian Thompson is an excellent villain with a real sense of menace about him as anyone who saw him on the X-files can tell you. He plays a very similar role in the excellent Fright Night pt2. The Master is pretty OTT but like Darth Vaders first appearance in Star Wars you really get the sense this is the baddest guy in the universe and no mistake. The bad; not much although it's early days yet. The one thing they could have improved upon is putting Eric Balfour in the opening titles, when you don't see him it's a big clue that Jesse isn't going to make it Best lines; Instantly fell in love with Giles when he states that "You didn't hone". Also a good one from Xander when he recovers Buffy's stake "All I can think of is that you're building a really small fence" Observations and questions; And here we have the REAL Willow although we'll never again see her so nerdy, from now on she dresses more like Cassandra from the movie. We also never see Buffy wear either her Jehovah Witness dress or her PVC number which is a shame on both counts. Nonetheless both Buffy and Cordy dress scandalously in these early eps, obviously going for the ratings. Darla is also lovely although she really does look too old for her outfit outside of Playboy's College Girls ('College' being Playboy speak for 'schoolgirls who turned 18 yesterday' or 'strippers who once took a night class'). But everyone looks SO young. SMG is a little more voluptuous and DB is a lot thinner and it suits both of them. We see Buffy's vamp sense again but it now seems more based on her fashion taste than cramps, perhaps it's more intense just after a Slayer inherits her powers? Presumably Aura who has the dead guy in her locker is the same girl who calls Cordy in the Angel ep 'Rm w/a vu'? (Do the Cordettes stay constant or do they change over time?) Cordy has a mobile phone! We won't see one of those again until season 1 of Angel and the Sunnydale Scoobies won't have them until season 7. Another point against Normal Again, Buffy doesn't want to be the Slayer and is trying to leave her past behind her. Presumably either the council or PTB arranged Joyce's job in Sunnydale? Buffy/Cordy fancy James Spader presumably for Pretty in Pink (although that's an 80s film when Cordy and Buffy would both have been toddlers). You wonder what they thought of him in S&M fest 'Secretary' although considering what both get up to in later seasons maybe that would be OK with them (or they'd like him MORE?). Still I guess Buffy is over her Christian Slater phase? Who's John Tesch? 7/10

Yeah, Buffy/Angel is a kinky show but a lot of it is largely implied, Spike and Buffy getting to fifth base on the balcony of the Bronze probably the best example. Yeah, it's even mentioned in Dracula, one of the reasons we plant roses in graveyards, to ward off evil spirits. Interesting, I never actually saw Goyce before Band Candy. I think folks were more into Willow/Cordy for which there is some evidence on the show. Also amazed they didn't make more of the Buffy/Will/Anya sandwich in Xander's basement. Well we're told Joyce goes to Illinois to spend Thanksgiving with Arlene and her 'family' so Buffy/Dawn must have at least one more cousin?

My personal theory was that Buffy had a blood test when she joined the Initiative and that's what was used (got the idea from a rather clever fanfic where Buffy has died but her Initiative created clone turns up in Sunnydale to the surprise and joy of Joyce and her adopted daughters Faith and her sister Dawn). Another theory is that the Council took her blood when Giles was drugging her for the Cruciantenam or when she was sick in hospital a couple of times. As for the whole closing the portal idea, well, if we can accept that Buffy can't read Angel's thoughts because he doesn't reflect in the mirror (yet appears on video?). Leave the flobotinum alone. The whole thing was supposed to be a surprise and worked quite well, everyone was genuinely baffled as to who or what Dawnie was.

Beware Greeks Bearing Gifts The Good; Xena tries to tell an epic story with a miniscule budget but succeeds admirably. Plus some really gruesome skeletons which are pretty chilling and clever of Xena to use the wooden horse to get out of the city. The Bad; again, would be better if the bad guy wasn’t so obvious. Recurring Characters; Perdicas, who has got a lot more handsome from his previous appearance. Ephiny; 1 Hades; 1 Ares; 1 Marcus; 1 Falafel; 2 Cyrene-1 Lila-1 Gabby's dad-1 Perdicas-2 Draco-1 Sisyphis-1 Xena cliches; Another disloyal advisor, this one killing his own brother over a woman, an age old tale. “I have many skills’; 1 10 years ago; 1 Dead Gabby suitors; 1 Dr Xena-5 Xena in bondage-2 Loyal advisor who is actually the villain-2 Gabby captured-2 Village in peril-2 Duel to settle things-2 The Pinch; 2 Xena animal skills; 2 Xena fire-breathing; 2 Kills; at least 5 more for Xena Xena; 13 Best quote; Gabby “So how do we get in?” Xena; “Are your boots laced?” Greek myths; the fate of the real Helen of Troy is uncertain, she is reported to either have returned and lived out her life happily with Menelaeus, been sent by the Gods to join Achilles in the Elysian fields or been hung from a tree by The Furies. In Greek myth the Gods play a major role in the siege but not here. Subtext; no, Gabby getting kissy, kissy with her now hunky ex. 7/10

This is the kinkiest show in history but I think even it would baulk from necrophilia (okay I know vamps are technically dead but still). Passion The Good; Angelus's lyrical narration. Buffy and Joyce having 'The Talk' (you imagine one day Buffy will do the same with Dawn?). Jenny and Angelus' confrontation at the school. Buffy saving Giles at the factory. The twist in the tail. The Bad; It seems rather stupid that Buffy simply warns Joyce to keep away from Angelus, because that's going to keep her safe? In the past we're told that Angelus drove Dru mad by killing everyone she loved and nailing puppies to stuff. Here he just tells Joyce that he and Buffy had sex, doesn't even do it nastily. Although Will's fish aren't nice. Best line; Any and all of Angelus' narration. Plus Spike stopping Dru from helping Angelus "Not fair if he doesn't tag you" Character death-1 (Jenny the 3rd recurring character to die) Bondage-0 Knocked out-yep, Giles again Shot-0 Women good/men bad-0 Kinky-dinky; Angelus/Spike/Dru Questions and observations; Wonderful scene where Jonathon and friend actually come into the library to borrow some books (reminiscent of the opening scene in Friends where they turn up at Central Perk only to find the couch taken for once). Surely Angelus doesn't need an invitation to enter a public area like a school? Or has Jenny done a spell to keep him out and the school motto meant it didn't work. Equally does the invitation rule apply to cars? Presumably Angel has also been to Giles' house in order to put Jenny's body in Giles' bed. We must assume Giles and Jenny have had sex before if she has a key to his place and he's not surprised to find her in his bedroom. Once again, roses don't seem to repel vamps in the Buffyverse. Does Joyce not question why the 40+ school librarian keeps popping around the house to see her teenage daughter? Willow collapsing into Joyce's arms is a sign of how close Joyce has become to the rest of the Scoobs. Jenny is the 3rd recurring character to die, making it one every 10 eps or so, the shock and brutality of him killing her is awful. Giles knocked out again. Willow's dad is called Ira and he seems quite strictly Jewish. Willow says she's his only daughter, what about sons? I was always surprised fanficcers didn't make more of Buffy and Willow's sleepover after Willow finds her fish? If you can restore Angel's soul why not do that to all vamps? Although Buffy the Vampire Resouler is probably not such a good series. 10/10, running out of superlatives here

Yeah, that did seem to be a recurring theme, Dark Angel etc.

The dying monk Buffy rescue from Glory tells her about the blood and she works out the rest for herself. It is a no lose scenario for Buffy, if it works Dawn lives, if it doesn't Dawnie jus follows her off the tower as she tried to do until Buffy stopped her. Dawnie is the most precious thing in the world, why do you think the monks made her the little sister? Why do you think everyone was falling over one another to save her?

The Good; Buffy slumping her head onto the table. Willow's rant at Giles and Angel. Cordy and Buffy getting all hot-to-trot for the party. Queen C's driving skills. Jonathon! On a date with Cordy no less. Buffy pouting (Giles her father figure more than ever) The Bad; The endings a bit cheery considering the fate of all those poor girls over the years, just like the disappearing corpses in The Harvest. You utterly cringe at the misogyny of the Frat boys. What exactly do the Sunnydale police make of the demon's body? Best Line; Buffy (to Angel)"When you kiss me I want to die"(of course 'die' also being a Shakespearean metaphor for orgasm...?) Questions and observations; Buffy and Cordy go illicitly to a party with a bunch of older guys, pass out through drinking and end up in chains being menaced by a huge snake. Or what the girls at my old school used to call 'Saturday night'. (Apologies to the writers of Friends). Seriously though I was beginning to think I was seeing sexual subtext where there was none but upon listening to David Greenwalt's DVD commentary it's clear that's exactly what was intended. Xander also tries his hand at cross-dressing. Another point for bisexual Will, she seems to fancy the frat boys. You wonder if Mayor Wilkins was a member of the fraternity? An OK ep but not the best, I'll give it 6/10 but that might be a little generous

I felt that way too until I tried to watch Date Movie and turned off halfway through.

Is Headhunter dead? He's certainly still breathing at the end? I don't think the Sirens are psychos, they're very level headed girls but I wonder about Barbara after Bashir put the whammy on her? You have to consider that if Bruce just says 'Okay they deserve it lets kill them' he essentially is just The Punisher, it's what makes Batman special.

Yeah but was he armed? Could he have done anything? Actually after the statute of limitations expired 'Donnie Brasco' confessed to carrying out hijackings, robberies, burglaries and beating up Mafia debtors in order to protect his cover. Well, things are certainly coming to a head, Philips has confessed all to Liz and she eventually did the same to him. You are SO relieved she decides not to kill the young intern she dupes into bugging the meeting. And Stan finally sees it, it's all coming together. It just seems impossible for the series to wrap it all up in only 2 eps and I can't wait.