diadochokinesis

The Middle East loves their malls! LOL. MOE is my main mall but I sometimes hit up Dubai Mall too (although I get irritated with all the tourists at that mall). They don't shut down anything here for anybody. Even Sheikh Mo doesn't get stuff shut down for him which I love. In Qatar, everything would shut down anytime the Sheikh or a family member would be out. Sheikh Mo and his family are much more "of the people" which is awesome. Oh, North American malls have nothing on Middle Eastern malls. All of the malls have amusement parks inside. That's just standard. MOE's ski slope is not only a ski slope but also a penguin area where you can meet the penguins and an area of about 13 different sledding/snow adventures. Plus, the amusement park, 700 stores, around 40 restaurants... Dubai especially loves decadence and sheer over the top things. Still married.

That was probably a Secret Service thing. They usually do background checks prior to this on all people that would be in the building to ensure that there aren't any possible dangers.

I've recently started watching RHOBH from the very beginning and OMG. I forgot how awful it was to watch Kim and Kyle together during Season 1. Cool. I'm not in the US anyways (I live in Dubai). I'm surprised I didn't hear about it. Anytime anybody anywhere close to a celebrity comes to town, the newspapers provide non-stop coverage for it. I was accidentally in Mall of the Emirates when Kim Kardashian was there filming and gah. I was so irritated that day. I also managed to be at The Sugar Factory when Scott Diseck was there. This town goes nuts over D list celebrities. I love the more natural look on her. She is gorgeous in this picture.

A lot of the gossip blogs (Reality Tea and I think even CDAN) have covered that marriage and divorce. Bethenny isn't perfect but man, nobody deserved what was going down in that marriage and divorce. Hoppy is far from innocent in all of this. According to Tamara Tattles, it isn't Sonja planting stories and that was why she was so calm. Apparently, we will find out who did it and it won't look good for Dorinda. She alluded to it being Dorinda's social media person that was doing the gossipping.

I laughed.

He gets paid by the minute. He's going to stretch that song out as long as possible!

Well, now I'm picturing this more as a Colin Firth scene from Love Actually. You know, the scene where they wound up jumping in the lake with the eels?

How could we forget!

No, Chuck E Cheese!

Disclaimer: Ramona irritates me. I'm wondering how much of Ramona's history does influence her behavior. We know her dad was abusive. She's been very open about that. So, she grew up in a household that didn't show her examples of what strong, healthy relationships looked like. She didn't learn how to disagree with people in a healthy manner. I would imagine that most interactions in her family were confrontational so that is how she communicates. Summary: Ramona doesn't need a facialist. She needs a therapist.

The NJ one was fantastic. The fight between the Joes with the spray on hair rubbing off. LMAO. The challenges would be the best part. I want them having to wade through a mud pit, milk cows... What else could we torture them with?

Ooh, Road Rules!! Let's do a Road Rules/RHOBH mash up! That would be hilarious!

Hey! I'm trying to teach them the correct names for stuff!

The way villas are set up here is usually that each bedroom has an ensuite bathroom. There is a guest bath downstairs but most people go to their own bathroom if they have to poo. Sorry, no eloquent way to state that and I hate the word defecate. LOL. It is just very culturally normal over here so they don't think anything of it.

I know. :( I'm getting tired of all the repeat trips to the Caribbean. Hong Kong was interesting. Ooh, African safari. That would be fun.

I would imagine it would be problematic given all the restrictions. I love living here (we currently have no plans to return to the US) but there are a lot of rules. I'm waiting for the World Cup to blow up in Qatar's face. They are holding firm on the no drinking rule. I can't wait to see how that goes down. We have diverged from the Real Housewives. I want them to do another trip and show a bit more than Dubai Mall.

We just moved from there at the end of 2016. It is getting more strict. They are having difficulty with the loss of cultural identity that is coming from all the expats coming in. So, they are making it very known and obvious that they don't appreciate expats and don't want them there. They won't make you wear an abaya (so not Kingdom level) but you must have a shirt with sleeves, it has to have a high neckline, and your knees must be covered. A burkini is the only acceptable swimsuit at the public beaches so most Westerners belong to a beach club at one of the 5 star hotels. We would come to Dubai to escape during long breaks so I was happy when my husband's company relocated us.

I would totally be set for life. Except I wouldn't take her as a client. I somehow get a feeling that the bill would never be paid... LOL. Caroline would be hilarious!!! She would cut her down so quick. That would easily make my week.

LOL. That just isn't how you wash your undies! You don't drop them on the nasty rug! Ooh, I can explain the towel rack because this completely threw me and I had to have some of my Arab friends explain. So, in the Middle East, you will find bidets and shattafs by the toilet. For those that don't know, a shattaf is a hose complete with a nozzle at the end. Arabs tend to prefer a shattaf to clean their tush than the bidet. After you spray down there, you use the towel to dry yourself off and then hang it up. I told one of my friends who is Egyptian but married to a Brit that my American sensibilities just found that unhygienic and she said she never did until after she married her husband and she saw how his family reacted to it. You apparently just use the towel for one day and then wash it. Their thought process is that you thoroughly washed down there so it should be clean and just wiping up water. My American thought is that the shattaf makes it really easy to fill up a mop bucket. LOL. I use the bidet to wash my feet and the shattaf to fill a bucket.

Ugh, flying in the US is a demoralizing experience. I never realized how bad it was until I started flying internationally more and then moved to the Middle East. The only place that was a worse experience was India, in my opinion. I sadly remember Kyle on ER. LOL. That was also the dude from True Blood playing the victim. And OMG, the accent mash-up would be HORRIBLE. I do accent reduction as a side job (have done so for around 8 years) and I have never encountered someone like Dorit.

I used mine to wash my feet too. LOL. I live in the desert and the floors get filthy if not swept and mopped daily (and even then they aren't always great depending on the build quality). Culturally shoes aren't worn in the house so it was a lot of dirty feet at the end of the day.

Not everyone uses their bidet. I've had them in two homes now and I've never used mine for the intended purpose. One of my friends uses her bidet for mopping. I think that's a huge part of it--the sentimental value. It is hard to let go of stuff when you unexpectedly lose a spouse. I have several friends that are widows (my husband is/was military) and they hold on to all sorts of things just because of the sentimental value of it. My bidets have never had hot water. It is just an on-off faucet with no temp control. I can control the force of the water but not the temp. You also don't poo in the toilet. You use it to clean yourself off afterwards. Where I live, we have both bidets and shattafs. My bidets have never had temp control. Ah, silk... I'm surprised that couch held up as long as it did. Silk just doesn't really hold up that well as an upholstery fabric.

OMG. Could you imagine that mash up? So, her nannies would probably be Filipino and her driver would usually be either Pakistani or Indian but she would probably consider those too low brow for her to pick up on. There is a lot of Dutch here along with the British contingent so maybe she would add a Dutch influence to her accent? I frequently joke that getting together with friends over here is like a meeting of the UN. Oh no. They would be all about that gold leaf. Gold leaf on EVERYTHING. It was on my freaking hamburger the other day. Ha! People keep pulling this out of context so thank you for pointing out the context of the statement. It wasn't like LVP just asked Ericka if she was wearing any undies. They were talking about how Kyle needed some undies and asked LVP if she had a spare pair. LVP then turned to Ericka and asked her if she had any. When you put it into that context, it is very clear that Ericka was stating that she didn't have a pair to spare. Context is everything!

I find it hilarious but I also named my dogs Sausage and Biscuit. LOL.

I could just see that conversation! PK: Oy! I went to America to avoid the bankruptcy and they found me there too! Cem: Dubai! Go to Dubai! Hide all the money there. Everyone does it! PK: Great! Dorit, we're off to Dubai! Dorit: But PK! I'll have to learn a new accent! How do I say As-salamu alaykum with an Arabic-Hebrew-British faux accent?