ladle

I would have a lot more respect for this moderator if she passive aggressively mocked the family by pronouncing words "fill" and "dill." She missed a golden opportunity here. Is it just me or did Kody's hair suddenly get a lot grayer?

Did I see Casey bow to the judges after the team received its initial critique?

Ahhhh, that makes sense. Thanks!

I was confused by Casey and the scallops. Didn't she have to use them because they were one of the booty-box items? I feel like I'm missing something. Hopefully Jamie's exit at least means we won't have to hear from Padma about being served an empty plate ever again?

What's the deal with their father, anyway? Is he still alive? I don't think Kyle's ever mentioned him on the show, and I always got the sense that he was absent during their childhood. But I guess not!

It's quite a coup that Eden has somehow managed to knock Dorit off her pedestal as most annoying person on this show.

I loved when Kody mentioned that they were terrible at budgeting and someone (Christine?) replied immediately, "Don't put that out there." I was all, "Out there where? Oh, you mean here, where we will seize upon that rare moment of self-awareness to mercilessly snark?... Oops! Too late! BWHAHA HAHA HAHA!"

Good point! Though it really says something about the quality of the show that we're reduced to analyzing their sentence structure.

This is a remarkably comprehensive and accurate summary. I would only add: Christine: "I trust Meri...way more than last year." A ringing endorsement!

I really hate how they get introduced as "Kody Brown and his sister wives." I mean, I don't like any of these women, but they're human beings and they have names. That's as far into the episode as I've managed to get. :)

Kody, re: the couples game: "You can't market anything to polygamists." *cough*Mysisterwivescloset*coughcough*

Also, did they not know they were going to Charleston? I don't know much about cooking, but even I know that biscuits are a staple of southern cuisine. Wouldn't you bone up on cooking the items you know they're probably going to ask you to make? I'm honestly confused. To me, that's like having the show in Philly and the chefs saying they've never made a cheesesteak.

This part made me feel really uncomfortable. It seemed to have an icky undertone which I doubt was the case but it was a bit unsettling to me. Like you just told a male friend and he was getting unseemly visuals (not that he is interested in his daughter, god no, but that he was a bit excited about girl on girl action). Exactly! I get that he was probably nervous and didn't know how to react, but what a weirdly specific first question to ask your daughter who's just come out. I got the creepy fetishizing-male-friend vibe from it, too, though I'm 90% sure that's not actually what Kody was thinking in the moment.

Things that were creepy about this episode: Kody asking Mariah specific questions about her "girl crushes" ("Did you have girl crushes? What kinds of girl crushes? How many girls?") Robyn's explanation of lesbian fertility and "baby-making juice" Mady (who usually doesn't bother me) making that joke about the parents hearing their...noises...through the walls.

We don't even need our own island - I know a place with a fantastic wet bar!

I realize that this is a convention of the show (fourth wall and all of that) but when Eileen referred to the Reunion as "a gathering we had," I think my eyes rolled all the way to the back of my head. Has Camille always talked in that breathy, affected way? It's been so long now I don't remember... Speaking of the way people talk... I think what is off to me about Dorit's speech is not necessarily her accent (though that's *definitely* off) but the short, clippy way she talks -- it's almost like babytalk, like the way one might address a young child. Which of course is ridiculous, since we all know Dorit has absolutely not idea how to interact with a child.

Perhaps Dorit's short-term memory loss explains how she can wake up every morning married to PK?

PK, Dorit, and Erika's toadie are currently in a three-way tie for person I like least on this show.

I thought it was funny when he guessed med school acceptance, and Mariah was like, "Uh, I haven't applied." Way to stay engaged in your kids' lives!

Update: I found the show on iTunes, where it is only one hour and twenty minutes without the commercials (wtf, TLC?). Yes, I paid $2.00 for it, which makes me feel a little dirty. My takeaways: --I guess they're never going to address the voicemails and naughty banana pics, huh? Ah well. --It's sad that Meri seems more comfortable and easy with Cheryl than she does with any of her sister wives. --Christine's hair looks fantastic! --Kody's fantasy about beating the catfisher with a bat, and Meri's delighted-schoolgirl reaction to it, gave me chills. --I love how as Mariah was saying to Christine "I'm not going to tell you [what the secret it]" the camera pans to Mariah kicking off her Birkenstocks. There's a cameraman out there with a sense of humor. :) (Seriously, though, good for Mariah. That scene couldn't have been easy for her.) --Meri should spend her lonely empty nest years going back to school to get her doctorate in psychology. Her dissertation could be titled "The Mind of the Catfish." I would read it. It would be more interesting than this show.

Granted, I didn't see the episode (TV on strike and all that) but didn't "Sam" say that Meri had told "him" that Meriah was gay? Like, well before any of this had even happened? Sigh. I feel like I'm missing out, but I guess it's just as well. I only have a 2-hour window while my kid naps, anyway. If only I had a sister wife to help me raise her (and share cankersores with me). Stupid monogamy!

So here's the situation: I go to my OnDemand to turn on this show, and the description says it's three hours long... which I figure MUST be a typo, right? Then I turn it on, only to see that it is really that long. I tell myself I'll suffer through as much of it as I possibly can, except that about ten seconds into the "previously on," my cable mysteriously turns off. And I restart it, and it does that three times. Now I'm not a superstitious person, but I have the sneaking suspicion that my TV might be on strike because I make it play this dreck every week. And I can't blame it, except that it seems like stuff actually happened this time! Please tell me it's not actually necessary to watch it, and I can just catch up on the snark here??

I thought it was pretty funny, unintended comic relief when the ladies were assiduously working to solve the puzzles at the Escape Room and the camera cut to Dorit and she was looking directly into the lens, posing with her hand on her hip.

At least Michael Scott showed some emotional growth. These women seem to have gone in the opposite direction.

On the plus side, "Snatch Drippings" would be a great title for her next disco single.