TwirlyGirly

Links? I'm honestly curious. I couldn't find anything pertaining to this after an extensive search. (But it doesn't surprise me if true. He seems to view women as two dimensional).

Brendan and Mary: Should be a case study on dysfunctional and toxic relationships. Julio and Kirsten: Julio's mom will be okay. Julio shouldn't let his mother guilt him out of leaving. She's not going to be left alone; she has two other sons. Besides, between phone calls, texting, and FaceTime they'll be interacting a lot more than she thinks. I'm a single mom and I fell apart during the first week after my daughter (only child) left for college. Then I was fine, because we were still communicating a lot. Her leaving had far less of an impact on our relationship than I thought it would. Holly and Wayne: When I was a junior in high school, I met a new student who had been born and grew up in South Africa and whose family had just returned to the US. His father was an executive with Shell Oil. He has a very slight accent that I couldn't place, and when I asked him about it, that's when he told me he had moved from South Africa. Having never met anyone from SA before, I wanted to know more. He wouldn't talk about it. This was in the mid-70s, when Apartheid was still in full swing. It wasn't something we learned about in school, and my only interest in any political issue at the time was limited to the passing of the ERA in the US. All I knew about Apartheid was that it was very, very BAD. Now that I know more about Apartheid, and the state of the country today, there is NO man or ANY amount of money that could convince me to move there. Just nope. Kenny and Armando: They'll be fine. They love each other and they're good communicators. They both seem to be aware of their flaws and how those flaws affect their communication and are willing to work on doing better. Kimberly and TJ: Kimberly, I hope you have enough money to buy a ticket home. Make that reservation NOW. If you think that apartment is bad, wait til you hear about TJ's future plans for you.

Well, she's wrong about the British being American, but not about Canadians. Remember; the name of our country is the United States OF America, and the America referenced is the continent - North America - of which the United States is a part. Instead of, for example, the United States of Africa, the United States of Oceania, etc. Technically, citizens of every country located in North America, Central America, Latin America, and South America can call themselves Americans - for the same reason we do.

Kimberly and Tasarwi: Kimberly, please forgive me for forgetting to mention one more thing you can expect should you marry Tasarwi; you'll probably be sharing your bedroom not just with him, but another female as well. But there's no need for concern: she won't interrupt your sleep or "sexy times" with Tasarwi; she's been taught to moo very quietly.

I agree. That was bizarre! Isn't the joke if you have food delivered from an Indian restaurant you'll have to air out the house afterwards?

Kimberly and Tejaswi: Kimberly, before you pack up your life and hop on a flight (or several) to Jaipur, you really need to see about getting your powers of clairvoyance a tune-up. Your beloved, Tejaswi, is lying to you through his teeth and you don't seem to be picking up on it. His plan is to marry you, install you in the family home, and give you the title of "Chief Cook and Bottle-Washer" for his entire family — without any of the labor and time-saving conveniences you're probably used to. Your days won't be spent in wedded bliss. Instead, you'll be expected to wake before dawn so breakfast will be ready for the men when they get up. Next you'll be washing all the dishes and cooking pots and pans used to make breakfast - by hand. Then it will be time to do laundry. Not just the clothing for the family, but the linens, too. And everything will have to be hung to dry - and then ironed. But not with a nice, lightweight electric iron... Sweeping and dusting while you're waiting for the laundry to dry - oh yes! You need to make lunch and clean up after that, too! Just when you feel like you're about to collapse, it will be time for dinner - and all the clean up from that meal as well. You won't be able to "cheat" on any of the meals, either - like putting a box of Rice Krispies on the table for breakfast, slapping together a few ham and cheese sandwiches for lunch, or opening a jar of Prego and cooking a pound of spaghetti for dinner. You will be making the traditional Indian dishes his family likes - whether you like them or not. And then, when everything is cleaned up and put away, and you can finally fall into bed - exhausted - you can look forward to a good 6 or 7 hours of sleep before it's time for you to get up and do it all over again. Just so we're clear, Kimberly, I'm not in the least bit clairvoyant, but even I can see that's the future dear Tejaswi has planned for you.

Brandan and Mary: Brandan, stop sanitizing Mary's behavior by calling it "overthinking". It's not. Mary's behavior is controlling, and as long as you continue to appease her the worse it's going to get. She will not loosen the reins just because you'll be with her on her home turf. She'll make you walk with your eyes on the ground to ensure you never look at another woman, and she won't let you out of her sight. That's not love, Brandan. That's obsession - and it's very, very dangerous.

I suspected it might be buttermilk based upon Noureddine's description, and I was right. Both buttermilk and cultured buttermilk - usually from goat's milk - are popular as beverages and also as an ingredient in both savory and sweet dishes in Morocco. It's called "laban". Stanika was wrong assuming it was "spoiled milk" and that it's something Americans throw away. It's used in many recipes (from cow's milk here) and some Americans also drink it (although it's usually people who grew up drinking it - it's an acquired taste). Stanika could have easily gotten out of drinking it without offending Noureddine's mother if she'd said: "I'd love to try it, but I'm lactose intolerant and can't drink dairy".* I never tried it, but when my mother bought it to use in a recipe she'd drink the leftovers (lived through the Depression - didn't throw food away if she could help it). I keep a can of powdered buttermilk in my fridge just in case. My favorite cake recipe, Cook's Illustrated Old Fashioned Chocolate Cake uses buttermilk and you can't make Buttermilk Pancakes/Waffles without... buttermilk! *Many who are lactose intolerant can drink goat's milk. Neither Noureddine nor his family probably know that, however.

Trans- and cis- are both prefixes. Trans means "opposite" and "accross". Fun fact: the first known use of trans- was in 1892. Transgender literally means "opposite gender". In other words, people who are transgender feel their internal sense of gender is the gender opposite to the one they were assigned at birth as was determined by their external genitalia. Being transgender has nothing to do with whether someone has had any surgeries to physically make them look like a person who was born female (for transgender women) or born male (for transgender men). Cleo is a transgender woman. Cis means "on this side". Fun fact: the first known use of cis- was in 1888. Cisgender literally means "same gender". In other words, people who are cisgender feel their internal sense of gender is the same as the gender assigned to them at birth as determined by their external genitalia. "[M]any trans people (who have a penis)..." Someone who is transgender — whether they still have the male genitalia they were born with or have had gender affirming bottom surgery — is called a "transgender woman" or a "trans woman". Actually, most who have insurance that covers it or can afford to pay for it themselves do have gender affirming bottom surgery. The reason most transgender women don't have gender affirming bottom surgery is they don't have insurance that will cover it or they can't pay for it themselves. Transgender women who have gender dysphoria don't think of their penis as "amazing".

They include the ambient sounds surrounding the cast members during their scenes because those sounds can affect mood (make them feel happy, anxious, angry, difficult to hear each other, etc) so they're a vital part of every scene. David doesn't hear any of those ambient sounds, so he's not affected by them. By muting the ambient sounds in his scenes we get a small glimpse into how he experiences the world. Why wouldn't they do that? How the normal sounds of daily living around us influences our mood is not something I'd given much thought until I saw those scenes, so for me they were educational, not entertaining. FTR, I've been disabled since birth and use a manual wheelchair for mobility, so I'm very sensitive to the exploitation of people with disabilities in the media. This does not fall into that category, IMO.

There's nothing wrong with David's intellectual development; unlike many who are deaf, David can read. Illiteracy is high among the deaf because it's extremely difficult to learn to read a language you cannot hear. There's more about why it's so hard for the deaf to learn how to read here. He may have thought it was better to use euphemisms on TV, especially if he hasn't watched a lot of TV and seen the actual anatomical names for genitals used. I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Gino and Jasmine: Gino's concerns about his money should he and Jasmine divorce is misplaced. For one thing, Michigan is not a community property state. According to my research, the judge has complete discretion as to how property is distributed. As with community property states, all assets Gino acquired prior to marriage are his. So his house, and any money in his retirement account(s) or money made from his investments - prior to their marriage - will remain his. It's highly unlikely much money will be added to or earned by any of those accounts going forward - after he and Jasmine marry. I suspect Jasmine will be kicking herself for not signing a pre-nup if they do divorce, because I'll bet Gino was planning to give her more money than what Michigan law and a judge will award her. But again - Gino's concerns are misplaced. He should be more worried about how much of his money Jasmine will spend while they're married. Jasmine has Gino wrapped around her finger. Whenever he tells her he won't do something she wants him to do, she throws a screaming hissy-fit and threatens to leave him. He has so much invested into marrying her, he folds every. single. time. Since sex with Jasmine isn't what draws him to her (oddly enough), why does Gino stay with her and allow her to manipulate him out of his life savings? I have a theory! Shocking, I know... 😉 Can you imagine Gino hunkered down with his bros in his man cave, drinking beer and watching Monday Night Football together? Playing a round of golf? Hanging out with them at a bar? Me neither. I don't think Gino has many (if any) male friends. He was probably bullied some in middle and high school, because he didn't share the same interests as other boys his age. I also think Gino is very, very insecure. Having Jasmine on his arm will mean, Gino thinks, other guys will 1) envy him, and 2) treat him with respect because he got such an attractive woman. Will other men really think/do those things? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ But that doesn't matter. What matters is Gino believes that's what they'll be thinking/doing. For Gino, it's going to be a big old "F*** you, assholes! Look what I got - and you can't have her!" Placating Jasmine and giving her everything she wants is worth taking what she's dishing out - because her spending all his money after they marry is a situation still in the abstract right now. He's probably thinking after they marry he won't give her access to his money, so she'll have to ask him every time she wants to buy something. But that will never fly with Jasmine. She will demand he make his bank accounts joint accounts. She will demand he get credit cards for her for all his card accounts. If he refuses, better cover your ears, because the screaming hissy-fit to end all hissy-fits will commence, and will include a threat if he doesn't give her access to his bank accounts and credit cards, she'll divorce him. She'll probably do this shortly after they marry, before Gino's Jasmine-induced money problems become obvious to him. But it won't be long before Gino begins feeling differently about placating Jasmine, and what he thought could happen in the abstract becomes a reality in the here and now - when he sees the money in his accounts is half what it was before they married, and is rapidly dwindling towards nothing. Unfortunately, it will be too late to change course and recoup his losses at that point. Gino is doomed.

I don't think Christian will be riding her at all. 😉

Regarding Gino and helping Jasmine with the dinner prep: I would have refused to peel vegetables with the knife she expected him to use. A paring knife, fine. But a knife with a 7" blade? Absolutely not. That's dangerous. I'm not gonna risk losing the tip of a finger to peel a potato. But honestly, dinner prep issues are the very least of their problems. (I'll probably write more about them later). Amanda and Razvan: if you're a woman and the least bit insecure, don't try to have a relationship with a bartender, DJ, musician, actor, etc. Success in all of these fields depends, in part, on flirting with women. Do you really think it's fair to get involved with someone and then pressure them to stop doing what they enjoy - what they've found some success doing? When a man starts telling a woman what she can and cannot do; who she can and cannot hang out with, we properly label that behavior "controlling". But when women do the same to men in the name of jealousy (which comes from insecurity), I rarely see people condemn it with as much fervor. Why? I don't think women - or men - should pander to a partner's insecurities.

Dear Chad, Stay home. Please. You have a nice little life there in TN, with your dogs and your lawnmower. There are very few women on the planet who would be happy to marry a man who can barely string three words together in a sentence and considers "cutting grass" a hobby. If you're hoping to find a woman whose hobby is watching someone else cut grass, I can promise you she doesn't exist. Especially not in the form of a hot Latin American woman. Unfortunately, Chad, because you have so little to offer women, if you're setting your sights on a woman from Latin America and manage to find one willing to marry you, there's a 99% chance she's only doing it to get a green card. Don't do it, Chad. Just don't.

Agree 100% with what you said about Susan. Susan is the reason she can't find anyone. She's looking for a guy who has all the qualities on her extensive list of "Must Haves" and none of the qualities, habits, or quirks she doesn't like. She wants perfect. There's no such thing. Nobody is perfect; not even her. Insofar as Stanika asking her dates if they have "traditional Muslim values" - she'd have to know what those are to ask about them. I can assure you she does not. She knows nothing about Islam, nothing about Morocco, and nothing about Moroccan culture. Harold can like tall, blonde, and beautiful women. There are women who are on the spectrum that are tall, blonde, and beautiful, too! Mark is a jerk. He knows as much about Islam, Morocco, and Moroccan culture as Stanika. He decided to go fishing in Morocco for the same reason other American men go hunting for brides in Arab countries: most Arab countries are culturally patriarchal, and so they think they'll get a wife who will let them make all the decisions, do what they say without argument, and be happy to stay home and cook and clean and raise their children. Oh yeah - and will have sex whenever they want it!

Harold meets his second match in an unusual location; Juan gives Susan some harsh feedback; after three failed engagements and being cheated on twice, Chad is ready to find love in Colombia; Stanika makes a big decision for her dating life.

Mark heads out on a date in the desert, but worries he's at a different stage of life than Soukaina; Stanika's awkward date continues, and the language barrier causes issues; Susan goes out with a handsome musician.

I'm really wondering how Mark's search for a Moroccan woman is going to go. Morocco is 99% Muslim. Muslim women cannot marry non-Muslim men, so he can only be matched with non-religious Moroccan women. That's not going to be a very large pool of women.

Absolutely! I was thinking about what I would have done had I been a cast member. If, prior to filming the Tell-All, the producers told us there were things we could and could not say, I would have agreed to comply. But when Debbie mocked Rishi and the other cast members laughed, I would have gladly put my paycheck on the line and said: "Wait. Stop. You just mocked Rishi's accent. And the rest of you found that funny. Rishi speaks at least two languages: Hindi and English. How much Hindi can any of you speak? Debbie, what you said wasn't just rude; it was racist. You owe Rishi an apology. And while you're at it, you should thank him for being such a gentleman, because I sincerely doubt he'd even consider mocking your own eminently mockable Southern accent in reply." Now I realize they probably would have edited that out, and maybe refused to pay me (breach of contract or something) but I would have said it regardless. It's something that would have been just as important to me to say even if it was only the other cast members that heard it.

Why do these women think getting pregnant means they can control the lives of their baby's father and tell them where they will live, what job they can do, what responsibilities they'll assume relating to them, the baby, and other children in the household (who have a different father) — and the father/boyfriend/husband will say "Sure thing!", fall in line, and get with (her) program? Where do they get these ideas? This isn't a rhetorical question. I really want to know because this mindset really boggles my mind.

In Egypt, men cannot take a second wife without the approval of their first wife and they must prove they can provide for both wives equally. That's why the prevalence of polygamy in Egypt is very low. (I'm not quoting numbers because I was unable to find any official sources that agreed on the percentage). Now onto other matters: In India, Jen interrogated Rishi to the nth degree about a DM exchange he'd had — instigated by her catfishing friend Randi — and considered that cheating. Then, weeks later, after rekindling their relationship in India during which she admitted they'd been intimate, she handed another male cast member her phone number during the filming of the Tell All — making her an actual cheater. When Jen told Rishi if his mother ever again said anything about her age, she would never, never speak to him again, I thought: "Swift move, Jen. You just handed Rishi's mother the perfect way to get you out of her son's life on a silver platter". Gabe accused Rishi of talking in circles and never answering questions directly in the Tell All Part 2. In the Tell All Part 3, Veronica asked Gabe when the last time he called Monica was. Gabe muttered in reply (paraphrasing) "Well I'm not gonna call her every day". Shut up, Gabe.

Rishi isn't required to accept - or even meet - any of them. He said in a previous episode he hasn't met any his mother has found thus far. I agree; he was brutalized. Why have none of these people - including Jen - spent five minutes with Google to see if there might be another reason for his insistence that he must care for his mother beyond just loving her? I did. Jen is having a hard time denying her love for Rishi, and Rishi is likewise finding it difficult to deny his love for Jen. Because that's what they'd have to do to leave their relationship permanently. Think about the person you've loved the most in your life. If the two of you were forced to end the relationship due to circumstances beyond your control, could you have? If you did end the relationship, would you cease to love them? How long do you think it might take for your love of them to fade? Days? Months? Years? If and when you started dating other men, would you compare each man to your Great Love? Would that be fair to the men you dated? How likely do you think it would be that you'd find another man you'd grow to love as much as you loved the man you'd had to break up with? My point is that even if both Jen and Rishi agreed to end their relationship and stuck with it, doesn't mean either one of them will ever find someone they'll grow to love as much as they loved each other. So if they were to marry other people, they might always feel like they settled. That's why they're continuing their relationship. In India, all of the groom's parent's adult children, and all their children-in-law, are required by law to support them. So: all of their adult children and their children's spouses - both male and female - must contribute to the support of Rishi's parents. If Rishi's brother has a disability, he may be exempt from that responsibility. Yes. Yes. Yes, and Yes! (⬆️Those are my reactions to the rhetorical questions you included in the portion of your post I quoted here). I really liked Debbie a lot before she did that. I was going to write a post about her in which I was planning to mention a number of times when Debbie identified red flags in things Oussama said, and did exactly what should be done in those situations. But I won't, because she's dead to me now. Stone. cold. dead.

I absolutely disagree. Not everyone shows their emotions publicly. When Jen was on her way to the cafe to meet up with Rishi (the meeting she had requested so she could tell him she needed to let him go and he needed to let her go), in the taxi she said (paraphrasing) that she was consciously trying not to allow the situation to cause her to fall apart, but that she expected to do just that in a week or so. She was afraid if she showed Rishi just how much severing ties with each other was affecting her it would make it even more difficult for Rishi to let her go. Despite that, at the cafe she wasn't able to hold back tears - and neither was Rishi. That wasn't the first time they cried when discussing being separated. To be fair, I think we all need to be careful not to judge the validity of the reaction of others to a situation based upon how we think we'd react in a similar situation if we were portraying our true feelings. Let's also remember Jenny and Sumit. From the time they were introduced on 90 Day Fiance, every assumption made by the majority of posters here about their relationship was proved wrong. And here we are - 9+ years after their relationship began - and the two of them are married and by all accounts, happy. Just because something doesn't look the way we think it should doesn't mean it's "fake" (you didn't say Jen and Rishi's relationship is probably fake, but others have). Remember that Sumit has a brother able to fulfill some (if not all) of the legal obligations to their parents the laws require. It's possible Sumit and Jen are contributing to the financial support of Sumit's parents so the entire burden isn't on his brother and his brother's wife.

This morning, when rereading the article about the Indian Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act I linked to and quoted from in my post last night , I noticed something in this part that hadn't registered with me the first time I read it: "The maximum amount of maintenance payable under the Act is Rs 10,000. This bar is proposed to be annulled through a pending bill after the Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens (Amendment) Act 2019 comes into existence." Concerned that the 2019 amendment may have reduced Rishi's financial obligations to his mother (IOW, what I posted in support of Rishi might no longer apply) I researched how this amendment changed what was required by the original act. Instead of reducing Rishi's obligations, the 2019 amendment increased them and also increased the penalties for non-compliance. Here's what the The Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens (Amendment) Bill, 2019 changed from the original act: In the original act, children were defined as children and grandchildren, excluding minors. The 2019 amendment added step-children, adoptive children, children-in-laws, and the legal guardian of minor children to the definition of children. This means when Rishi and Jen marry, Jen will also be legally responsible for providing financial support to Rishi's mother. Parents were defined as biological, adoptive, and step-parents. The 2019 amendment added parent-in-laws, and grandparents to the definition of parents. Maintenance included the provision of food, clothing, residence, medical attendance and treatment. The 2019 amendment expanded maintenance to include the provision of healthcare, safety, and security for parents and senior citizens to lead a life of dignity. Welfare included the provision of food, healthcare, and other amenities necessary for senior citizens. The 2019 amendment expanded welfare to include the provision of housing, clothing, safety, and other amenities necessary for the physical and mental well-being of a senior citizen or parent. The upper limit of the monthly maintenance amount payable to senior citizens by children and relatives could not exceed Rs 10,000. The 2019 amendment removed the upper limit on the maintenance fee. The Tribunals now must consider: (i) standard of living and earnings of the parent or senior citizen, and (ii) the earnings of the children, while deciding the maintenance amount. The penalty for the abandonment of senior citizen or parent (not providing financial support) was punishable with imprisonment of up to 3 months, or fine of up to Rs 5,000, or both. The 2019 amendment makes non-compliance punishable with imprisonment between three and six months, or fine of up to Rs 10,000, or both. Remember: these penalties can also be applied to Jen if she refuses to contribute to her MIL's support! There was no provision for homecare services in the original act. The 2019 amendment now includes homecare and requires institutions providing homecare to register with a registration authority set up by the state government, and their staff must be trained and certified. So it appears Rishi (and Jen - if they marry) could hire aides to care for Rishi's mother to provide the same services that would normally be provided by Rishi and Jen were they to live in Rishi's mother's home - but Rishi and Jen would be obligated to pay for those services (in addition to the monthly financial assistance to Rishi's mother the act entitles her to receive). Although the solution would seem to be continuing the relationship but not marrying, that might not be possible, either, due to whatever the limitations are for whichever visa(s) Jen would qualify for. God I'm glad I've never visited India and fallen in love with an Indian man living there...