Drogo

"It didn't mean nothing to me." Fuck everyone who has ever said these words to someone who "IT" clearly meant a lot to.

Generous lovers can compensate for many shortcomings: tiny peesh, love handles, hairiness, amputations, spare tires, assymetrical facial features... But Colt's more likely the guy who says he's going to give you 3 hours of TLC, sleeps for 2 and a half, then calls you a nymphomaniac for being disappointed.

Colt does have a better rack. She's sloppy.

Discuss the real stories here.

Anybody remember that dime ladyfriend Scott had in season 1? She seemed genuinely interested in him, and gorgeous and grown, so I can see why he didn't want her.

She was probably insecure about something and he comes this loser calling her a goddess. Works more often than you'd think.

Normal = typical ex: Normal folks don't perform armed carjackings at 15 years old and seek out virginal mistresses while already married with child.

Let. Her. Take. A. Shower. For fucks sake, man. Go to Starbucks for Frapp's, get some ice on the 14th floor, do laps in the pool, but just get lost.

Countdown to Marcellino explosively blaming Brittany for his "voluntary celibacy" in 3, 2, 1...

Ashley learns Jay's secret; Kalani and Asuelu worry her father will stop their vows; Eric and Leida have last minute problems before their wedding; Steven has to leave Russia; Colt and Larissa face their issues; Jonathan and Fernanda say "I do."

That's probably what he meant; it's so infantilizing. Who says this to someone they're sleeping with?

Michael knows Sarah will be waiting to take him back no matter what shit he puts her through, so he's going to put her through as much shit as possible. What he's not counting on is that this is the first time she's going to actually watch his antics back with her own eyes, and hopefully smarten up. Who am I kidding, she'll be there again.

"You need to respect my age." Anyone have access to a Marcellinoish To English dictionary? Because what the fuck does this mean.

I'm not hungry anymore ever again.

A gas station minimart is basically a prison commissary with fewer personal care products and more drink options.

Matt and Caitlin's sexy reunion leads to an offer; Brittany walks out on her date with Marcelino.

Didn't Meghan say she needed to bribe her brother to take her to the airport?

That's Katie's version of events. Smart people don't pull a cat's tail then feign shock when it scratches them. We're two episodes removed from the actual exchange so maybe a lot's forgotten, especially since Katie delivered a watered-down Katie-free summary to Lisa and others last episode. James walked out of Sur just as Lala was telling Raquel that she watched "it happen" (it being James/Hope sex) and she said she wanted to talk to Raquel alone, James let them talk alone and went back inside. Raquel asked Lala actual questions ex: "What did you actually see, who are you hearing this from" while Lala called her dumb for thinking that she has the right to ask for any material information or evidence before breaking up with someone she cares for on the word of some people she doesn't care for- James came out the other side of Sur to have a smoke with Sandoval and Hope/Kristen walked up to them and basically shame-kicked James out of his own workplace ("Tom, why is HE here? He needs to go.. you know that") like she owned Sur and Pride and not at all like a woman who had been fired from the place for doing this exact same bullshit before and for some reason James acquiesced and started walking away - Lala stopped him and said he should "stop acting like this [coordinated Pride attack on James/Raquel] was an ambush" (despite ambush being the perfect word to describe it) and told him he needs "intense help" - he said 'no you do' and Katie (surrounded by big group of allies including Lala and Kristen who have already been terrorizing him this day) inserted herself into the Lala/James exchange by mocking James (who was standing alone in more ways than one) saying "James, look at you dude, you're telling her SHE needs help, what's going on with your fucking pants?" LOLOL while her coven laughs... She did not express concern that his pants might fall down and expose him, she was not offering him help or genuine advice, she was making fun of him to get a laugh from the crowd and unfortunately for her James clapped back. So IMO yes, Katie pulled a cat's tail then acted surprised when it scratched her.

One of these people just wants to be loved. One of these people just wants a mom. One of these people just wants a Baby Ruth. But instead, they're all getting... this person who just wants 4 Slurpees, 22 scratch-offs, and a 10 gallon storage bin of snack foods.

Yep, he told her he applied for it when they found out she was pregnant (so ~8 months ago at time of this episode) but confessed that really he'd only applied for the visa a few weeks ago when he got to Russia. But both of those fiancé visa applications would have been before he proposed to her...? Watch her visa get denied because they weren't engaged at the time. That would be perfect for these two pretty dimbulbs.

Something confuses me. Isn't the K1 visa only for a foreign fiancé of a US citizen? How did Steven apply for one before proposing to Olga?

Yeah this is where Eric loses me. He clearly thinks he's past his fatherly duties' expiration date. Once you become a parent, you should consider your children in every decision you make... for as many decades as you live.

"I just want someone to love me."

Temper Tantrum Steven and Sad Sack Olga are starting to look like the happiest couple of this season. Don't forget Tasha:

That's Katie's version of events. Smart people don't pull a cat's tail then feign shock when it scratches them.