Eldemarge

LOL if you wear a robe, you're 'FRICKIN' DOLLY PARTON OR SOMETHING' omg, this dude.

I'm still hung up on Colt's claim that he's merely taking care of his lonely, old, frail mother because she needs him. I'm sorry, doesn't she cook for him, do his laundry, pick him up from work, and they share a bank account? I think she can get along fine in her own pad. Which is why I don't really blame Debbie's attitude about Jess or any other rando Colt is going to have move in with them. Colt just needs to live separately so he can make his own giant mistakes and not directly involve his mother. "I'm a MAN!" phhhhfffttt lol

Can we put a long smock on this MF'r? I'm done with the zoom-ins...

And Chuck resembles an entire ham.

We get it, Cole. You have party hair. Take a fricking shower.

Oh that shed is going to be hoarded up and filthy in about 2 days. Watch.

I still can't get over the fact that these two have sex. He seems like he'd be a really lousy lover. But I guess Kalani doesn't know any different?

Not only goat heads at the market. There are WOMEN. ALERT ALERT

Oh NO, his PAAAAAAST. Shut up, Libby's Family. You've all been arrested, right? Okay.

This reminds me to go watch Midsommar again.

Cool Michael. Sign up for this abuse for the rest of your life. Everything in Angela's life will always be your fault. Sounds like a great deal!

Flabba the Gut.

Blah blah whataboutmyfaaaaaamileeeee.... omg I'm with Andrei. SHUT UP Watch out, we got the Plantagenets of Florida up in here, everyone bow down. 😛

She can't actually want to have intercourse with this disgusting man. I refuse to believe it.

Pole obviously thinks this is going to be pretty low-effort since he sees Karine as a street urchin from the Middle Ages and showing her a vacuum is going to blow her mind.

I will give Pole some credit for at least showing Karine the poverty they're in store for and not taking her to a really nice house and then berating her for wanting it (ROBERT).

Syngin 5 drinks in: "BUTWHATABOUTSOULMATESSSSS"

I desperately want to deep condition Angela's hair.

I hate you, Colt. And as much as you want us to think you're a sex machine who has sex, nobody is impressed. Actually, we would like to see you in an eternal cold shower to ensure our safety. Gross gross ick nasty amen.

Deb's booze withdrawal starts in 3-2-1...

Hello, I'm here for the ass-kicking (whips out lawn chair).

Mine has a little bar and they will make you a mojito or something if you want. They're open but I haven't been over there since March.

A quesadilla from this little Mexican place nearby. Can't wait!

A quesadilla! I am saving him money by providing my own avocado.

Good evening, lovelies! My foreign (out-of-state) boyfriend is ordering me food tonight because I didn't buy a cheat meal this week. Are we ready for some more Ultimate Fairytale Love Stories???