Platypus

You're not nuts and you're not the only one. You see things other people can't see because of what you've been through.

I don't think Jill has any clue the parent child relationship can be like that. Michelle and JB are her main parenting models. She's not very intuitive so I don't think she'd readily pick up on a different dynamic in other families. I was the "Jill" in my family and that's how I started out parenting my oldest. Thank goodness for the internet and mommy boards, that's how I learned better

That is so sickening to read. i can't even formulate my thoughts into complete sentences. Have none of these 'Christians' read Jesus' actual real words? 'love one another, protect and care for the most vulnerable, and by the way all you fakers who talk the talk but don't walk the walk, No Heaven for You!' That is some stunning double-think to say you love Christ, that you're 'bible-believing' and yet still buy into that nauseating victim blaming propaganda above. About a four year old! God created mama bear instincts, and the mama bear in me wants five minutes alone in a room with Gothard.

that either/or tendency is just one way that Michelle has always reminded me of my son, my brother, and my mom. Actually Michelle strongly reminds me of my mom (that's probably why i'm so obsessed with the Duggars. :/ ) They all have autism and are either OCD about something or are completely unaware and let it fall into chaos. Also the way her affect and expressions are sometimes so inappropriate to the context; the way she dresses - wearing the same outfit day after day juxtaposed with wacky choices like at Jill and Amy's weddings; her hairstyle that hasn't changed in 30 years, the way she doesn't seem to perceive her children as real people. Obviously there's a lot more involved and many mental health conditions manifest similarly, but I live with one foot in Autism world and her lack of self-awareness, questionable theory of mind, poor judgment, avoidance of emotionally complex situations/relationships and difficulty 'reading' non-verbal cues and modulating her affect appropriately ring a lot of bells for me. And of course having a religion with such explicit guidance on behavior, dress ... everything. Concrete step-by-step instructions are so reassuring for many people with ASD. Its so stressful trying to read body language, understand abstract ideas and infer meaning especially when it seems so easy for everyone else. Its such a relief sometimes to just be told what to do.

urgh. I had to stop watching after Ben advised us to use a toy to keep the baby distracted while you change him. Really?! lololololololol

Responding to lookeyloo. It sounds like an Islamically correct bathing suit. The ladies I know who wear them say they are pretty comfy. The fabric is very light. I live in a community with a large Muslim population and they're ubiquitous at the pool year-round.

Responding in the Small Talk thread

I've said before that I can forgive anything if a person does right by their kids, and in my experience embracing those mothering instincts can be a catalyst for ultimately rejecting the fundie paradigm. It seems that Jessa's eagerness-to-please is her way of leveraging the only resource she (NOT her dad) has. I mean, come on its not like Ben is going to make a family wage anytime soon, if ever! Can't blame the girl for hustling to support her family in most lucrative, socially acceptable way available to her in her community. I just can't be negative about someone who is obviously doing right by her baby. I've worked in Head Start for 15 years and good gosh, there is so much horrible stuff in the world. I know I'm seeing her through rose-colored glasses, but I'll take happy news wherever I can find it.

re: Michelle failing to have prepared her daughters to be homemakers, I would argue that any achievement or mastery of any skill is out of reach for them for now - INCLUDING homemaking. Those girls were denied the opportunity to develop a sense of individual identity. Their self-confidence wasn't nurtured - if anything it was whittled away by their parents' emotional abuse and the incessant "I am a worthless sinner" schtick. They have been set up for failure in life, raised to stay forever in their nut-job parents' orbit and it breaks my heart. I have to hope that one or more will break away someday, but brainwashing starting from early childhood is so hard to overcome. Jim Bob and Michelle have grievously wronged their children. I believe there is a special place in hell for people like that. edited for typos

From the Duggars' Facebook page, Jackson killing time at the dentist office flipping through flashcards - 5+0, 6+0. Educational neglect is rampant in this family. Do they have a clue how concerning and just plain weird it is to see an 11-ish year old boy working on the most basic of addition facts?

This! I watched that clip of Michelle wrangling those two kids TWICE because I found it so disturbing although I couldn't find words for WHY (well actually I just had to get back to my real life I don't have time to think about the Duggars all day lol). For kids that age, their mother is the sun, moon and stars come down to earth just for them, and yet Johannah and Jackson related to her like she was a babysitter or neighbor lady. For anyone with even a passing familiarity with child development, the degree of detachment manifested in that clip is alarming.

could it be a Bates?

Derrick and Jill look like a couple of immature teenagers excited to have the house to themselves while their parents are gone for the weekend. Its disturbing that these twits have a baby who is 100% dependent on them. Lord have mercy ETA: I take that back. Its insulting to teenagers. They look like a couple of *kids*. My 8th grader is way more mature than these guys.

Wow, so much ignorance about child development packed into one video...

I still have hope for her. I grew up in a similarly religious, dysfunctional family. I started out mothering the same way, but it took only a couple of months to chuck all that out the window. The 'mother bear' instinct was so strong, it made me question my parents' child-rearing practices. Over the next ten years that snowballed and I ended up doing a complete 180 on the entire belief system with which I'd been raised. so you never know... eta I forgot to finish the point I'd been trying to make.