mynextmistake

Because God will provide.* Duh. And it's not like kids cost all that much. You're probably thinking of the money it would take to buy them things like food and shoes, right? Nonsense. Those things are totally optional. Jill was deprived of both for much of her childhood and she turned out completely normal! *I wonder if they've considered the idea that God's way of providing for them was Derrick's accounting degree?

NM, didn't realize I was responding to an old post.

That's great that you were given the chance to learn to play an instrument! I agree it would be wonderful if all children were afforded that opportunity, but while you may view it as a right, it isn't one in any legal sense. Lots and lots of children don't get the chance to learn an instrument because their schools don't offer a program and their parents can't afford lessons. I was one of those children, so it's not like I'm sitting here after fifteen years of private piano lessons rubbing my hands together like the Grinch and cackling about denying musical education to foster children. I think maybe the issue is that some people are looking at this from the perspective of whether the Vuolos should allow children who want to learn music to do so without the religious teaching, while I am looking at it from the perspective of whether they are required to do so. I agree that the answer to the first question is yes, but that doesn't change the fact that the answer to the second question is no. They are providing a free, optional service to children. They can attach as many strings to it as they want. I looked at the website and I see what you mean about burying the lede. I agree that the religious teaching should be publicized enough to ensure that potential volunteers and participants are aware of that aspect of the program before they sign up, and it is troubling that their website doesn't do that. I don't know that I would go as far as to say they are being sneaky and underhanded, though. I do think they are trying to play up the secular aspects of the program, which could be viewed as dishonest, but they aren't required to provide the religious information on their website at all. IMO if they were really being sneaky and underhanded they'd omit the information completely and just spring the religious stuff on the kids once they start the lessons.

I agree that it would be nice if this program allowed kids and families to opt out of the religious element. However, I also recognize that no program is going to be all things to all people. The Vuolo family are evangelical Christians; it's not surprising that a charity program they established is less than secular. It's their charity. They can include Bible-thumping if they want to. Nobody is forcing families to participate. Kids, even foster kids with incarcerated parents, don't have a right to a free musical education on their terms. I don't know. I'm kind of surprising myself by defending the Vuolos. I think I've just watched the "Christian" Duggars sit back and do absolutely nothing to help anyone (except Josh, of course) for so long that I'm heartened to see that at least somebody in their circle is acting charitably, even if the charity includes a religious element.

Hey, guys, I think I found Waldo!

Wow, endorsing a program that could actually help people? Instead of grifting an all-expenses-paid trip to hand out banana loaf in Danger America? That's pretty impressive. Also, Jeremy looks at Jinger when she's talking almost as much as she looks at him when he's talking. You know, like they're equals or something. Jim Bob's head would probably burst into flames if he saw this. I'm not sure Michelle can even straighten her neck anymore.

I think at the time, she really did think she'd be able to act as a midwife during the yearly 10-day "missions" she thought they were going to go on. She did finish her training, after all. I can't imagine she would have bothered with that once she was married and knocked up unless she thought she would need it someday.

Sure. My comment wasn't meant to excuse his behavior. He married Jill and chose to have kids with her. And to be fair to Jill, I don't think she ever pretended to be anything she wasn't during their courtship. The problem, of course, is that a Duggar-style courtship doesn't allow a couple to get to know each other at all. In many ways, someone who has "courted" his or her spouse marrying a complete stranger. If they had more interaction, I think Derrick would have figured out that Jill's idea of mission work was the vacations she grew up with, not an actual long-term stint as a missionary. He would also have figured out that her personality wasn't consistent with long-term mission work either.

I've obviously put WAY too much thought into this (I'm at home stressing about a potentially career-ending injury) but I think of the married Duggars, Josh and Jill are the only two who are really unhappy. I think Joe and Jinger are actually happy, at least for now, and that Joy and Jessa are content. The unmarried adults are a mix. I think JD is content, and for all the talk of slavery and Cinderella Jana seems to be reasonably content as well. Josiah strikes me as deeply unhappy and even a bit angry, which might explain the breakup of his courtship with Marjorie and his failure to enter into another one. The rest of the older boys all kind of blend together for me, TBH. As to the younger kids, I think it's a bit early to tell how their temperaments will turn out.

Dude, Jesus was a carpenter. If he had to have a day job, why don't you?

I think Derick is losing his mind because he hates his life. I mean, the guy thought he was getting a wife who shared his heart for missions and was capable of being a relatively equal partner. Instead he got Jill. Jill, who can't go an entire 8-hour workday without seeing him. Jill, who couldn't even dream of meeting the educational requirements for an actual missionary position. Jill, who was so afraid of Danger America that curtain rods made her cry. Jill, who seemingly can't watch two kids (or one kid!) without help from her family/friends/Spanish teacher. When you think about it, Derick's new job smacks of being an attempt to relive his college years vicariously through actual college students. He's never going to get what he really wants, which is an actual position as a missionary in a foreign country, because Jill can't hack it. So instead, he takes a job that reminds him of the fun he could have pre-Jill. He attends conferences with girls in short shorts. He goes to parties with dancing to pop music and probably even an adult beverage or two being served. Meanwhile, he knows Jill is at home fuming because he's doing all these things that she was taught were ungodly, and because she's insecure and is probably actually worried about losing him to some sophomore Jezebel who doesn't have stretch marks and a 21-member family who is always there like a millstone around Derick's neck. He's escaping his life and passive-aggressively sticking it to his wife, who he resents deeply, at the same time. Perfect! This all sounds very harsh toward Jill. Honestly, though, I feel sorry for her. She's not to blame for the deficits in her education or coping skills. That's all due to Jim Bob and Michelle's terrible, terrible parenting. And when you look at it from her point of view, her situation must seem so unfair. She's done everything expected of her, followed all the rules, and probably expected to be rewarded by a happy life. Instead she gets scary births, ongoing dependence (financial and otherwise) on her family, and a husband who resents her for being herself. That's gotta suck.

It's also the layout of my kitchen/dining room, and I have a house. It's a common layout where you have a galley kitchen, which is frequently true of apartments but also of smaller homes. If this is an apartment it's a relatively nice one. That carpet looks new, and those are solid-surface countertops in the kitchen.

As I've posted about before, I think there are a lot of reasons that Jessa is envious of Jinger's new life. That said, I think Jessa and Ben both adore their boys. Jessa might not adore the prospect of popping out 10+ more in the future, but for now I think she's content with her decision to have kids immediately. Jill I'm not so sure about. I don't know if it's the stress of her deliveries, or having to live in Danger America for a few months, or watching her husband slowly unwind before her eyes, but she seems to get no joy from her children (or really from life at all). I don't think she's abusive or even particularly neglectful -- they seem well fed and cared for -- but I don't think her heart is in parenting. I think she could really have benefitted from waiting a while, getting to know Derrick a little better, and clarifying her desires and goals before having kids. I think she's drunk too much of the koolaid to actually feel cheated, but if she were less programmed she very easily might.

It wouldn't even count as infertility yet. While the majority of women in their 20s with no fertility problems conceive within a few months, it can take much longer. They don't even recommend women under 35 see a doctor for assessment until they've been actively trying for 12 months without success. That said, it is possible Jeremy and Jinger are having trouble conceiving and have managed to keep it quiet from both their families and TLC for a year. I just don't get that vibe from them, though. They seem too authentically happy. They could just be really good actors, I guess, but my money is on birth control.

Well, this is kind of awkward. The gene for brown eyes is dominant, not recessive. Blue is recessive. It's not impossible for two blue-eyed people to have a child with brown eyes, both because mutations can occur and because eye color is more complicated than simply brown vs. blue, but it is unlikely. It looks like all of the Duggar kids ended up with blue eyes, so it's just a bit weird that Jessa's are brown.

Both JB and Michelle have blue eyes? Doesn't Jessa have brown eyes?

I wouldn't be the least bit surprised to hear that Jessa's newfound clinginess is based on major jealousy. Look at her life and compare it to Jinger's. She's stuck in Duggarville with two kids, no education, no job and a husband who's barely out of his teens. She lives in a Duggar house and has her family up in her grill all the damn time. She's still wearing flip-flops and ankle-length denim skirts from the thrift store. All she has to look forward to is popping out a new blessing every year (and who knows how she really feels about that?) and riding the gravy train until it derails and she's stuck with thirteen kids and no means of supporting them. Jinger got to move thousands of miles away to Laredo, where she and her husband purchased their own home. She only has to see family occasionally when they come to visit or she goes back to AR. Her town has not only a Wal-Mart but a Target, a Macy's, a Marshall's and a number of other clothing stores where she can buy (gasp!) new clothing. Including pants and real shoes, which she is then "allowed" to wear in public. She's traveled to various fun places and seems to actually enjoy spending time with her spouse. She's been married eleven months and there are no blessings in sight, which strongly suggests that she and Jeremy are planning their family. And honestly, I get that some people think Jeremy is controlling, but I think if Jinger went to him and said she wanted to study nursing or something at the community college, he would be supportive. If I were Jessa, I'd be pretty envious and probably feel left behind. Jinger is growing up. Jessa will probably never get the chance to do that.

Sam was only 8 weeks old. It takes a while for your stomach to shrink after giving birth. I was in my maternity pants for over 3 months after I had my baby.

I remember when Jill did the people mag interview after Izzy was born, she said that one of the things they did when she went into labor at home was hang antibiotics because she had tested positive for strep B. That means a) someone had to test her and b) someone had to prescribe them. My guess is that she had prenatal care with Izzy simply because Derrick was still employed by an actual business and they had insurance. I honestly think for most of these girls it's not a holiness or vanity issue, it's a financial one. I doubt Jill (now), Jessa or Joy are insured.

I like how he specifies that they're feeding Arkansas chickens. Becuse one should only feed the bible-believing evangelical chickens from god-fearing states like Arkansas. All those sissified secular humanist chickens you find in California and New York should just be left to starve.

To be fair, houses can't be that expensive in Podunk, Arkansas and going by the kitchen that place is a serious fixer-upper.

Those books are clearly defrauding him by wearing those tight-fitting jackets. They need to spend some time in the prayer closet thinking about what they did.

My cousin once sent out a Christmas letter talking about how using birth control is a sin. "This year was a great one for our family! Carl continued to enjoy his job at IBM, I was voted president of the church sewing circle, George celebrated his first communion, Mary started preschool, and every time you take the Pill you're causing your body to abort your young, you Godless slut." So the Duggar's messages seem kind of tame to me, actually.

If you've had a csection you don't want anything tight on the incision area. I wore my maternity pants for a month after my csection because they didn't have waistbands.

Based on what we've seen, the only good things to come out of Derick and Jill's missionary position are Izzy and Sam.