mynextmistake

Laura is 33. If she’s been involved in COMMIT conferences since 2000, she was only 15 when she became IBLP. Her family might not be super-fundie, but i’m guessing that parents who weren’t some degree of conservative Christian wouldn’t let their teenage daughter drink enough of the Koolaid to become an active participant in IBLP programming.

Well then they sure as hell weren’t Derick’s.

I used to be on the “Derick hates his life and Jill and is miserable” train but now i’m not so sure. If Derick is that miserable, there’s nothing stopping him from leaving Jill. Some people think he’s too religious, but he was raised ordinary conservative Christian, not Gothard or even just plain super-fundie. Hell, i imagine that any number of people in the Cross Church congregation have been divorced. He also attends a secular law school, where he could find support from fellow students who had been divorced themselves or grew up in divorced families. Their covenenant marriage doesn’t prohibit divorce, it just makes the process take longer. If he’s concerned about the boys (hahaha) he could easily get shared custody or even full custody, since there’s no way Jill isn’t moving back to the TTH and even in Arkansas I can’t imagine a judge being thrilled about kids being in close proximity to a child molester. Nope, i think Derick’s with Jill because he wants to be. I think he realizes he’s a mediocre student who will turn into a mediocre lawyer with mediocre looks and a terrible personality, and that no woman he considers an equal is going to look twice at him. Jill gives him a constant ego boost through her hero-worship. He can be as nastily passive-aggressive and snarky as he wants and she’s still going to be as devoted as a Labrador. Jill’s not bright enough to pose a challenge to his ego and when he’s in a really bad mood he can make himself feel better by bullying his kids while safe in the knowledge that she’ll never ever speak up about it. She’s been trained since childhood to be joyfully available and even mediocre sex on demand is better than he would ever do as a single man. I mean, people call Jeremy a Svengali who is only with Jinger because he needs the adulation, but he’s shown 100 times the love and affection for his wife and child than Derick ever has for his. I think Derick likes his life just fine.

I feel confident in saying that none of those “many homeschoolers” who exceed their peers were taught by a woman who is only slightly brighter than a ceramic garden gnome.

Perhaps he’s hoping that he and Jill will be brought back onto the show if it changes networks. Because the viewers of UP TV have nothing better to do than watch Jill make cream of mushroom soup out of cans of cream of mushroom soup while waiting with bated breath to see which color highlighter Derick uses when reading International Shoe.

The nursing hierarchy can be confusing! Hopefully this will clear it up: An LPN (like JD’s fiancé Abbie) has usually taken a one-year vocational training course. LPNs have a narrower scope of practice than RNs and usually provide routine care for patients who aren’t acutely ill. They tend to work in nursing homes, clinics, and other non-hospital settings. An AAS in nursing is a two or three year program comprised of general ed classes, science/math prerequisite classes, and clinical nursing classes. In all states (to the best of my knowledge) an AAS Nursing graduate can sit the NCLEX and, if they pass, become an RN. RNs work in all areas of practice and have more responsibility than LPNs. In many areas, AAS grad RNs can still get hired for hospital nursing jobs. A BSN is a bachelor’s degree in nursing. It includes all the AAS stuff plus more advanced classes in theory and research. A BSN who passes the NCLEX is an RN just like an AAS grad who passes the NCLEX is. There is no legal difference in the scope of practice between the two groups and they are allowed to work the same jobs. That said, many hospitals do prefer BSN-level RNs and will either only hire BSN grads or require AAS grads to get their BSN within a certain period of time after being hired. There are a lot of reasons for this, most of which boil down to Medicaid reimbursement rates. A pre-nursing degree doesn’t lead to any type of licensure. Lauren isn’t a nurse of any kind if this is the kind of degree she has.

Does Jill honestly not realize she looks like a D-list porn actress? I can’t even snark on the kids. They look malnourished. They’re all pale and underweight and the younger ones look like caloric deficits are affecting their growth. Why are they not getting SNAP and WIC? Surely they’d qualify. Oh, right, because God will provide. Well, he seems to be providing plenty to David and Jill... too bad they’re such horrible people that they don’t share it with their kids. I’m a pretty even-keeled person and not much makes me angry but it’s damn hard to see people like Jill and David blessed with multitudes of kids while my sweet, loving friend and her husband have been trying for years to have a single child. I know intellectually that fertility is not a zero-sum game and life isn’t fair but still... it’s hard.

No. I personally don’t care whether FFF has Jill as a hostess or brand ambassador or whatever they call them. It’s a free country; if they think she’s going to help them sell their products, they should have at it. But i’m not going to feel bad for her when she gets dumped because it will make it hard to “put food on the table” while she and her husband refuse to work. Even a fast-food or retail job would bring in some cash, and it’s not like she couldn’t get free babysitting at the TTH. Derick could also be working part-time while he’s in school like throusands of other students do. Acting like Sam and Izzy are going to starve because FFF decided to distance themselves from Jill and her toxic best hubby ever is a wee bit histrionic, IMO.

So it looks like no honeymoon baby for these two, unless they’re waiting longer than the standard five minutes to announce.

Which they could very easily do by getting jobs. You know, like the ones my husband and I and most other parents I know have. Derick could be making a comfortable living by now if he’d stayed an accountant, probably more than enough to allow Jill to remain a SAHM if that’s what they chose to do. Instead, he decided to dick around for several years as a “missionary” and a “pastor” and now a law student. He and Jill aren’t a couple who are down on their luck because of circumstance; they’re a couple who made irresponsible choices and expected the rest of the world to dip into their pockets to bail them out. Social media doesn’t owe them a living. If they’re so strapped for cash that they’re relying on the pittance Jill could earn from FFF to feed their kids, they need to get off their asses and get jobs. Also I think it’s important to note that it wasn’t his beliefs that got Derick fired — it was his decision to post about those beliefs on social media where anyone could see. People can be as hateful as they want in their own heads. But when they’re loudly voicing that hatefulness, it’s perfectly appropriate for a company to decide they don’t want vocal hatefulness as the face of their brand.

They probably deeply misunderstood her fan base. Whitney and Alyssa Bates may be fundie but they are bland and mainstream enough that many of their followers are probably ordinary young conservative Christian women, who might actually want and be able to afford a FFF subscription. Jill is much more controversial and only recently graduated from long jean skirts and baggy polos. Most of her followers are probably either leghumpers from huge families or people who follow her solely to hate on the things she posts. The former can’t afford FFF and the latter wouldn’t help Jill out by getting a box through her link. If she’s not bringing in $$$, FFF isn’t going to risk political backlash by keeping her as a partner.

Okay. I’m going to leave this here, because we’re going off topic. Suffice it to say that perhaps that is how the original post was intended, but that’s not how it came across to me. Jim Bob and Michelle acted terribly in their handling of the molestations, but sadly their behavior isn’t that unusual in my experience. Many parents seem to take the side of the perpetrator to the detriment of the victims in situations like this. I don’t understand it, but it’s not uncommon.

I agree that perceived vulnerability plays a role, and that Jana might not have seemed as vulnerable. Her age, her closeness with JD, and her relatively high degree of authority within the family might have made her less attractive as a victim. Two of the girls were molested in their bedroom (Jinger was cornered in the laundry room and Joy was molested while sitting on Josh’s lap and reading a story) so it’s possible that proximity of others wasn’t a big deal. I certainly don’t think it had anything to do with Jana’s IQ, though, and I think it is insulting to all victims of abuse to suggest it did. Like Jessa, Jinger, Jill and Joy would have been safe if they were smarter? Maybe if they’d read a little more or learned algebra they’d have been left alone? That’s just a novel angle on victim blaming, in my opinion.

I think it’s offensive to suggest that only dumb people get sexually assaulted. Being molested has nothing to do with your intellect. Victims are chosen because of opportunity, circumstance, and the preferences of the perpetrator. By the time Josh started molesting the girls Jana had already taken on many of the day to day homemaking tasks. She probably just wasn’t alone enough for Josh to do anything to her.

I think she chose well, actually. I think Jessa recognizes that she has a strong personality and looked for a partner who would let her wear the pants (figuratively if not literally) in the family. Ben is mellow, pleasant, and seems to genuinely not care that much about everyday decisions, and there don’t seem to be many guys like that who have the appropriate fundie credentials. I think Jessa wanted to get married so she could get out of the house and when she met Ben she figured that since he had the personality she wanted and was easy on the eyes she might as well choose him. I mean, imagine if Jessa were married to a dominant type like Austin, who seems to be more the typical fundie husband in the sense that he needs to be in charge. They’d constantly be butting heads and she’d be miserable. And if Joy had married Ben, they’d starve to death because neither of them could be decisive enough to decide what to cook for dinner.

I labored for 10 hours. At hour 11, the nurses got concerned because my daughter’s heart rate dropped significantly. At hour 11 and five minutes, my OB was in the room studying the fetal monitoring strip. At hour 11 and seven minutes, nurses were cutting my clothes off me. At hour 11 and ten minutes, I was in the OR having a spinal. (I couldn’t have an epidural, and the anesthesiologist could not put me under general because my jaw is so small that he would have had to find a pediatric intubation tray and that would have taken too long. I would think that would be something normally stocked in a hospital OR, but I guess not.) At hour 11 and twenty minutes, my OB was cutting. My daughter’s initial APGAR was four and a NICU team had to work on her for quite a while. As a mom, I felt like it was emergent, but as an RN I can understand the distinction you’re making. It would have taken at least half an hour for me to get from my house into the the hospital OR. If we had tried a homebirth, my daughter might well be dead. And this is all in spite of the fact that I had excellent prenatal care and a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy. These girls are trying homebirths following C-sections and hemorrhages and with prenatal care so lacking that they didn’t realize two of their babies were breech until they’d been laboring for hours. It’s just baffling to me that they behave this way.

To be fair, Jill, Jessa, Jana and Jinger look to be at healthy weights. I’m guessing the only way they stayed thin over the years was enforced portion control due to food scarcity. Even unhealthy food won’t make you fat if you only get a small serving of it. The younger girls, who grew up during the tv years and presumably got more food, do seem to be plumper. It’s so easy to cook healthily that it’s just sad to see this slop they eat. Making soup? Use low-sodium broth and add fresh or frozen veggies rather than canned. Making cornbread? Halve the sugar, leave out the creamed corn and substitute applesauce for half of the oil. I have six or seven go-to recipes that take less than half an hour to prep, and they’re all healthy. I do think she knows her audience, though. Recipes like this are still popular with a certain demographic — middle-aged or older midwestern/southern women who make things like this for church suppers or big families. I’m pretty sure that’s the same demo that follows the Duggars, so there might be a method to her madness.

I have a feeling you’ll need to get in line behind all her kids and, well, everyone else she’s ever met.

You can buy scrub skirts, but they’re really impractical. 12 hours of walking, lifting, carrying, bending and squatting are way easier to get through in pants. Plus most hospitals require you to wear hose if you’re wearing a scrub skirt, and they’re just not made to stand up to an entire shift’s worth of activity. It certainly looks from those pictures like Abbie is working. Students usually have a uniform and aren’t permitted to wear print scrubs. If she wanted to get her RN license she could do a one-year bridge program; i’m sure they have one in OK or AR. It probably doesn’t make sense unless she plans to keep working, though. She could always go per diem and pick up a few shifts a month.

I own that exact Old Navy dress. I like it so much that I bought it in 4 colors/prints. The cut is flattering to everyone from tiny Jessa to not-so-tiny me, the material is comfortably stretchy without being shapeless, and you can dress it up or down super easily. I always get compliments when I wear it. Regarding corporal punishment, I just don’t see Jessa and Ben being that into it. They may spank when the boys get older, but I don’t think they’ll be handing out any Pearl-style beatings. For all their faults, they both seem to really love those boys, and the boys seem happy and well-adjusted. Plus Jessa is the only daughter (as far as I know) to publicly acknowledge that MOTY Michelle’s parenting style wasn’t always great and that changes might be necessary.

Oh right, the gum boy! I really thought those two crazy kids would make it. Nurie’s not unattractive and she’s well indoctrinated, and the poor girl is probably so desperate to get out of sleeping on the floor of the sketchy family RV that she’d take virtually any offer she receives. I’m surprised no fundie boy has taken the bait. I guess the Rodriguez reputation really does precede them.

I like how she had to specify multiple times that it was “Christian Camp.” You know, unlike the den of iniquity that is Secular Camp, where boys and girls get to sit next to each other at bonfires and see each other in bathing suits. Isn’t Nurie 19 or 20? Isn’t that kind of old for Camp?

I think this picture makes them both look deranged. I’m also wondering why he’s in a tux and she’s wearing a white t-shirt that has been left in the dryer for 72 hours.

Didn’t Priscilla’s dad also make David promise to be accountable to Priscilla for his internet use before he would give the couple his blessing? Something was definitely going on there. I agree that Priscilla isn’t doing that badly. She doesn’t seem like the type to have high expectations in the sex department and David provides everything she wants — a comfortable home, children, and a stable life. I’ve known a lot of girls like Priscilla who aren’t particularly blessed in the deep thinking or logical reasoning departments and many of them end up with guys who either abuse them or get them pregnant and take off. At least Priscilla will be taken care of and there’s no reason to think David mistreats her as far as I know.

There was a lady posting in one of the other threads who knows Abbie and her family and said they were genuinely good people (and she’s an atheist, so it’s not a fellow fundie). I’m sure Abbie thinks being gay is a sin, because I’ve never met a fundie who didn’t, but I don’t think she’s the fire-and-brimstone Instagram or robocall type. These two kind of remind me of Joe and Kendra... they all share the same beliefs but if they had a gay person in their living room I don’t think they could be rude to them, they’re just too genuinely nice. Which is not to say their beliefs aren’t repugnant, because they are. I just don’t see them being vocally hateful like Derick or Michelle or Ben before Jessa lowered the shut-up hammer.